WIFE FOR HIRE

by Amy J. Fetzer

  Her lips curved. "You're insufferable."

  "I'm suffering."

  Her smile fell. "Oh, Nash."

  "Forgive me, baby. I know I don't deserve it, but I need it. God, so badly."

  She searched his features, his crystal-blue eyes. Beneath the strong exterior lay a beast clawing to be let out of his prison, and Hayley's heart bled for him.

  "Of course, I forgive you." His relief swept down his body in a hard shudder, and she realized he'd been holding his breath. "You were as much a victim as I was."

  "But I could have changed it. I could have—"

  "What? You thought she was carrying your child. And even if there was a shadow of doubt—" his look said there'd been more than a shadow "—you are too honorable to ignore the possibility."

  He pressed his forehead to hers.

  "Face it, Nash, you're one of the good guys."

  A smile threatened his lips. "Say it again. Just so I know I'm not dreaming."

  "I forgive you, Nashville."

  "It's worth hearing that god-awful name." He kissed her forehead, holding her close, his hand rubbing her back. "Thank you, darlin'."

  She laid her head to his chest, tightened her arms around his waist and sighed.

  Nash knew torment and contentment in one instant. Her forgiveness gave him a divine release, exposing all he'd suppressed. He tried ignoring this energy warming between them, but he couldn't. It seeped past his clothes, into his skin, and made him realize he'd been a mom and dad so long he'd forgotten what it was like just to be a man, someone's lover. Until Hayley. The instant he saw her again, she made him remember long throbbing kisses and damp bodies rolling under the sheets; connecting physically and emotionally to another human being so closely you could feel every breath they took as if it was yours. And the longer he was near her, the stronger the need grew. He didn't want to feel it, not so completely, so quickly. Again. He kept repeating to himself that he couldn't fold under this need for her, not with the girls at risk, not even when she was the first and only woman he'd desired with every cell of his body.

  But if Nash understood anything from the moment those shapely legs dipped out of that dinosaur of a car, it was that Hayley Albright was much more to him than an old lover or a piece of his past. She was part of him.

  More than just his desire for her worked through him, and beyond the years of loneliness was the crushing feeling that she distrusted him. It was justified, yet it weighed heavy on his soul. He'd earned a reputation of trust, of a man worthy of breeding million-dollar Thoroughbreds, and yet when he wanted that honor from her, she couldn't give it. She might not say the words, but he'd seen it her eyes.

  His hand slid up to cup the back of her head, to tip it until she met his gaze. The instant their gazes locked everything changed. The air burned, bodies clung more tightly. Blood moved more slowly through his veins and his muscles locked with a sweet heat that left him in a breathless state of hardness.

  She felt it, shifting slightly against him.

  Nash thought he'd come apart right there. It was too soon to ask for a second chance. But he had to taste her. He lowered his head.

  "Oh, Nash," she said in a trembling sigh.

  His name on the breathy rush undid him. He swooped down and was suddenly powerfully, deeply in her mouth, his tongue plundering, taking possession. He didn't try to hide his need. He didn't need to. She drew it from him the way a river breaks against a dam, letting her desire rush over him, envelope him. She clawed at his shoulders, trying to get closer, and he clutched her, dropping to the nearby stool, pulling her between his thighs.

  A whimper escaped her throat. He drank in that, too.

  With one hand he cupped her bottom, pushing her into him. She flexed in a ribbon of desire, her breathing rushed, her hands in his hair as she tipped his head to take more of him and match it with the fire of memory. But it was hotter, stronger, more potent than she thought possible, and Hayley knew she was in real danger. Then when his hands drove up her back, under her shirt and she let him, the burn of his touch spiraled her need out of control. She wanted to be naked with him, feel his incredible mouth on her body, feel his hardness push insistently into her as his tongue pushed into her mouth now.

  It had been way too long.

  The sound of the front door opening broke into their privacy.

  Nash groaned in frustration and pulled back slowly, kissing the corner of her mouth, her cheek.

  Hayley gasped for breath, blinking, the haze slow to lift. She met his gaze and the fire smoldered, begging to be flamed again. The kiss had opened a door she wanted locked. And yet, another part of her longed to cross the threshold and throw away the key.

  She staggered back. No, she couldn't do this. It was just the emotions of the night before lingering.

  Nash struggled for control. His groin was unbearably thick and heavy. For her. He hadn't felt like this in years, not this lack of control, and if the men weren't coming into the house, he would have made love to her right there on the floor. He lifted his gaze to her and frowned at the look in her eyes.

  His heart rolled in his chest.

  Distrust, shame, laced with the sting of old hurt.

  "I can't do this again," she whispered. "I won't."

  His features darkened. "Hayley, things are different now." He could hear the footsteps of his men coming closer.

  Her gaze narrowed.

  "You can't lie to yourself and say that wasn't something," he said.

  Her mouth curved bitterly. "Oh, it was something all right." Stronger, hotter, wilder than before, she thought. "But we can't start up. I'm leaving."

  He wasn't going to discuss her leaving. That was less than two weeks away. "You don't trust me not to hurt you again."

  She tipped her chin and gave him a cool look. "That doesn't matter."

  "Of course it matters!" When she simply stared, he said, "By God, you are a stubborn woman. And we will talk about this later." The last came like a warning.

  "There is nothing to discuss, Nash. I don't have a choice this time. People are depending on me."

  He didn't say anything, unnerving her more as he stood. He groaned, his body too tight to walk.

  A very unladylike snicker escaped her, and when he shot her a dark look, an instance of mutual heat pulsed between them. Seth strolled into the kitchen and stopped short, glancing between the two. Nash ignored him, still standing only a hand's width from her. He stared, an almost triumphant smile crossing his lips when he heard her breath hitch.

  His gaze lingered, caressed and stroked her as intimately as his touch, and Hayley felt her insides twist and shudder.

  "Get to cooking, woman," he growled softly. "We're burning daylight."

  Hayley nodded. At least she thought she did. His stare was too intense to feel much past the delicious numbing of his kiss and the sensation of simply being looked at as if he could peel away her skin and see beneath. But he had seen beneath. And his look said he remembered every inch of her, every cry of passion, every push into her body and its resounding friction. It was a persuasive look, and she gloried in feeling so desired, wanting him in ways she had no business thinking about. He was devastating to her senses, his scent mixing with hers. And to top it off, his eyes were somber, glittering with something she hadn't seen in a man's eyes for a very long time—hunger. She had to get control of herself before she leaped on him, demanding he crush her in his arms again and make love to her mouth as he just had. For where Nash was concerned, she was the vulnerable one.

  * * *

  Five

  « ^ »

  Hayley did her best not to think about Nash.

  Instead, she tried to make the day fun for the girls, playing as much as possible and skipping housework. Some things were more important than making sure the kitchen floor was clean enough to eat off of.

  Such as playing a good game of jacks.

  Or holding your pinky finger out while you sip make-believe tea.

  O
r wearing the correct length of boa feathers with the right dress.

  And a hat, of course, Hayley thought as the wide-brimmed summer hat fell over her eyes. Kate giggled. Hayley pushed the hat back and extended her hand and the china cup.

  "If you would be so kind, Miss Kimberly," she said, winking at the child. Kim poured, she and her sister sitting across from her under the shade on the back veranda, dolled up in musty old gowns their grandmother had left in a trunk for them to play dress-up. She herself wore a blue satin gown reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn, and a hat that belonged only at the Kentucky Derby. And though they'd been in the pool most of the morning, their bathing suits under the gowns, it was a day for silliness. And Hayley was just in the mood for it, avoiding all trains of thought that led to Nash and his claim that this time it was different. There was no "this time." She was sidestepping him and that talk he wanted to have. She didn't want to hear it, not a word. Because if she did, she just might fall for him again. And there was no chance of her delaying or giving up her dream.

  Trying to change the direction of her thoughts, she shoved out of the chair. "We need to dance. All this tea makes a girl itchin' to wiggle."

  The girls grinned as Hayley tuned the radio to a rock station. Kim and Kate scrambled off their chairs, singing and dancing, and Hayley laughed at the twins gyrating inside the too-large dresses, clunking around in heels. She joined the girls, adoring their little bumps and grinds. Oh, they're going to be heartbreakers, she thought.

  "Can anyone join in or is this a private party?"

  Hayley stilled and spun around to see Nash walking toward them. And what a walk it was. Did all men saunter as if they were fresh out of a spaghetti western, or only wealthy Carolina ranchers? Regardless, avoiding the man was impossible. Especially when he gave her those possessive looks that drew her insides tight. As he was now.

  Determined not to let his effect on her show, she smiled. "Sure, you know the slide."

  His lips quirked at the corner. "I think I can manage."

  He stepped in beside her in the line dance, his smile slight, his gaze lingering on the gown his mom had worn to her high-school-graduation dance that fit Hayley in all the right places and showed off her sweet curves. He'd watched her and his daughters for a few minutes before making his presence known. It was too much fun seeing them together, being silly. He couldn't imagine Michelle getting down on the ground and playing jacks in a gown. But then, Hayley was always pretty much a free spirit. It was one of the things he'd loved about her. She was never embarrassed by doing something spontaneous or to the beat of a different drummer.

  Nash smiled, aware he made her nervous. It was a new sensation, since there wasn't much that fazed her. She'd been hiding from him, and he'd given her some space. He didn't want to be a threat and he wasn't going to pressure her into anything. That was what got him into trouble before. He wanted her to understand that and relax. Any man with eyes could see how she tensed around him.

  The music ended and she smiled up at him. "You always were a great dancer."

  "Glad there are some good things you remember about me."

  He didn't give her time to comment or remember old pain as he pulled her into his arms, spinning her across the pool deck as another song played.

  The girls made noises as if they were seeing something they shouldn't.

  Hayley's insides tripped, her heart jumping and reminding her how much this man could stir her with just a look. His hand was warm and sure in hers, the one around her waist like a steel band. Thighs brushed as they fell into step, dancing close and in perfect sync. He spun her out, then whipped her close to his side, and she laughed, a bright free sound he swore made the sun shine brighter.

  Nash grinned when she sent the huge hat sailing into a nearby chair before their dramatic finish. The twins clapped.

  "What else are you going to take off?" he said for her ears alone.

  She really shouldn't, but he was asking for it, looking at her like that. It would serve him right. She stepped back and in one motion, unzipped the dress, letting it drop to her ankles. She gave him a saucy pose, then dove into the pool. The twins shrieked with laughter. Nash just stood there, stunned for a second. Hayley came up for air, smoothing her hair back and telling the girls to come join her, without the gowns.

  "You should have seen your face, Daddy!" Kim shouted. "Your eyes got this big." She did an imitation that made her look like she was being strangled.

  "Yeah, yeah," he said, winking at them before he squatted at the edge of the pool, gazing into Hayley's eyes as she swam to him. "I swear that one—" he nodded at the swimsuit "—is smaller than the other."

  "If you don't like it, don't look."

  "Honey, no man alive could resist looking at all that lovely skin."

  She flushed at the compliment. "You should know never to dare me, Nash."

  His muscles clamped. A memory surged. "Making love on Hunting Beach," he whispered, and her skin darkened.

  "Shh." Hayley glanced at the girls, sitting on the steps waiting for her permission to come in. She hadn't meant to bring that up. Instantly she pushed away from the pool ledge, diving under the water and coming up beside the girls. She helped them into their inner tubes, spinning them.

  "Lunch is in the fridge," she called as Nash started to walk away. She looked back over her shoulder and met his gaze. "It's fend for yourself till dinner."

  "Are you dismissing me?"

  Hayley grinned. "Yeah, cowboy. Go to work."

  He hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. "And if I don't want to?"

  The twins looked between the adults, nudging each other.

  "Suit yourself. You're the boss."

  Nash flung off his hat and dove into the pool, clothes and all.

  "Daddy!" his daughters shrieked when he came up beside them.

  Hayley blinked. "I don't believe you did that."

  He smoothed his hair back. "Why?"

  "It's so not you."

  "Let's get one thing straight," he growled, pushing his daughters in their tubes to the center of the pool and out of earshot. "Things are different. We both are."

  Her guard went up, a reaction he'd come to recognize since she'd arrived. "Nash."

  "Don't go flying off again," he told her, holding himself at a respectable distance when he wanted to crush her in his arms. "We're both older, wiser, and I have my children to consider. Can't we just take it as it comes and be … friends?"

  Friends. She ought to be hurt by such a bland description. But isn't that what she wanted? "Fine. That's all we are now, anyway."

  That stung, but Nash masked his hurt with a smile. "If we're going to be pals, then you'd better wear a bigger bathing suit."

  "If we're going to be pals, Nash, then you need to stop looking at me like you want to devour me."

  He inched closer, knowing it wasn't wise. Knowing he'd destroy the truce he'd just formed with her. "But I do, baby, I do." His gaze swept her breasts, nearly spilling from the bikini top, before meeting hers. "In one bite."

  Hayley inhaled and didn't have time to comment. He dove underwater and swam to the opposite end of the pool, pausing long enough to give his daughters a kiss before he strode, dripping wet, back to the house.

  Hayley sank underwater, praying it cooled her hot skin.

  Friends? What a crock.

  Nash threw down his pen and rubbed his face. For two days he'd smothered his feelings and kept innuendo and anything misleading out of conversation with Hayley. He accepted chance meetings, meals and idle conversations with an attitude that was nothing more than friendship. It was a supreme effort, being around her, wanting her, so mostly he stayed in the corral or in the barns, working with the vet and birthing a new foal. Well, mostly he stayed away. He saw her only at dinner. She still refused to join them for meals. It upset the girls, but she carefully explained to them she was the nanny, not their mother. Nash's throat ached then, because of the catch in her voice when she said this and when she f
inally looked at him. The girls didn't understand and sulked until Hayley brought them root-beer floats for dessert. Five-year-olds. So easily rerouted, he thought, wishing a root-beer float did the trick for him.

  Nash sighed, then racked papers and set them aside, unable to concentrate another moment. All this not wanting was driving him nuts. The house was uncomfortably silent, and just knowing she was out there somewhere sent him out of his chair. So much for restraint, he thought, leaving his office, heading to the kitchen and hoping she was in bed. Then he saw her and wondered where the woman found the energy to get up before sunrise and stay awake past nine.

  Sitting in the middle of the living-room floor, she wore denim shorts and a purple tank top, her face in a medical book and a notepad beside her. Stacks of books and papers littered the floor like layers of cake waiting to be devoured. An open briefcase rested a few feet away. Quietly he backtracked to the kitchen, then returned, clearing his throat and holding up two glasses of iced tea.

  "Join me?"

  "Oh, that looks great," she said with feeling, taking it as he bent. She waved him down. "Sit, you're making my neck hurt."

  He folded to the floor, pulling the book from her lap and turning it to read the title.

  "I thought you were done with this. Just waiting on your assignment."

  "I've only completed my first year of internship. I have three more to do in my field." That brought his head up. "Since I don't have any family, I'm using my leave time to work before I go back to St. Anthony's. But I still have to test constantly before the boards. It never hurts to keep studying." She looked at all the books. "I always feel as if there's something I've missed or forgotten to study."

  Nash knew differently. Hayley had a photographic memory. It was one of the traits that got her incredible grades in college and scholarships. It also made him see what a great doctor she'd make and reminded him that she wasn't sticking around. Like his wife. Hayley had her dream and he wasn't part of it. She hadn't wanted to be his wife before she had her MD, and it was what had brought them to an impasse before. But Nash told himself he was wiser for it and his mistakes. He just didn't know why he couldn't handle her decision any more than he could seven years ago. Maybe because he felt totally excluded.