He said wistfully, “I wish I could have made love to you while you were pregnant, your body all full of our love and growing.”
I looked down, flushing. I had ached for him in the nights when my body was craving his touch and the pregnancy hormones driving me mad to be touched. Touched in secret places, in private places. Filled in every way.
Ben left me with my thoughts for a moment and rubbed Zoe’s tummy, causing more gurgles to flow forth from our adorable, little daughter. Seeing this man with his baby lifted my spirits. Lifted away the difficulties of concealing my pregnancy and being alone. Of being a single mom and being shunned by some and judged online by the media and mommy wars. Of worrying I’d never been enough for Zoe.
Ben kissed me again and Zoe began to fall to sleep, “Maybe we can practice baby making for number two?”
I kissed him back and smiled, “This time I won’t run away.”
Ben looked fierce for a moment and said, “You better not; I won’t let you. I’m not going to let you out of my sight. I’m going to get you with child again and get you so heavy with them you can’t move and have to stay home helping me with my research all day. No running away for you.”
I laughed and kissed him again. I scooped Zoe up and got her ready for bed as Ben watched.
*****
My bedroom was similar to the rest of the house. Yellow walls, wooden floors, and white furniture. Light and lovely. Ben looked masculine in contrast to the femininity of my room. Zoe had slept in a crib by my bed until just recently, when I had made the reluctant decision for her to take the next step into her own room. But right by mine.
This time it was different, though, my being in this room. I wasn’t alone. I worried about leaving her in her room and went back out to check on her again. Ben followed, eager to learn how to care for his little girl. Assured Zoe was sleeping peacefully and safely in her crib, we stole away back to my bedroom.
We stood, facing each other. Ben removed my dress, leaving me in my panties and bra, vulnerable, “I want you,” he said.
I moved my hands over his body and slipped his blazer off his strong shoulders, letting it drop on the floor. I didn’t care for the expensive garments that clothed his body; I wanted his body naked before me and now. Ben helped with his shirt as I continued to move my hands over his chest up to his face.
Ben pulled me in for a passionate kiss and with the same, deft, practiced hand, he unhooked my bra and let it drop to the floor where his shirt and blazer lay. I reached for his suit pants, for the hardness I could see outlined. His suit pants and belt fell to the floor and I knelt down with his cock in my hand. I licked the tip of it a few times, teasing, until I put my mouth over it and took in his whole length. Ben groaned, putting his hand behind my head, gently guiding me.
I stood up and slid my panties off.
Ben kissed me and took my hand and led me to the bed, laying me down. He began to slowly kiss every inch of my body, my face, my ears, and then my neck. Then down to my breasts with his mouth on my nipples, flicking and teasing. My breasts were round and heavy and Ben commented on the difference from the last time he saw them.
Stroking my round breasts, he said, “So different…so voluptuous, so sexy.”
I smiled up at his handsome face and imperfect smile and replied, “A bonus, bigger boobs.”
Ben moved his hand down my body to where my heat was emanating. His thumb began to rub my throbbing clit; he inserted a finger, then a second. I was so wet and ready for him.
“I want you inside me.”
Ben positioned himself above me so his cock was lined up with my opening. He gently inserted himself as I hoisted up my hips in pleasure, wanting him to go deeper, filling me. He was thick, the pleasure was almost unbearable.
“You’re so wet.”
He leaned in and nibbled my bottom lip as he continued to pump his dick into me. Ecstasy was taking over. I moaned, indicating I was close. Everything was aching for release. My pussy, my clit—I just wanted him harder and faster. Ben started pumping harder, inching his way to release himself. In unison, we came. Breathing heavy and hard, Ben fell on top of me. He kissed me sweetly.
“I missed you so much. You have no idea.”
Ben went quiet, and he looked towards my open bedroom door towards where our daughter lay. I fell quiet too as we lay together and touched and melded our bodies. I had been thoughtless, perhaps, thinking Ben would put his career before his child. Insecure that I or we weren’t worth it to him. I had been wrong to keep Zoe a secret.
I reached for him and said, “Will you forgive me?”
Ben looked me in the eyes and said, “I do, May. I understand the position you were in. I just wish it hadn’t been that way. I hope I never treated you like just a fling that I didn’t care about, that you walked away for your own reasons, not because I made you feel unwelcome in my life.”
I replied, “Oh, Ben, I think it was all just in my head. Maybe I was so crazy with pregnancy hormones I didn’t think straight. I just wanted to protect everyone in my life. You, Zoe, the research time. I got it wrong and I am sorry.”
I felt vulnerable in his arms, naked under the duvet as we worked our bodies up to being together. As Ben kept me talking the whole time, his fingers wouldn’t stop exploring. This was a man who could balance a sensitive discussion with a single-minded pursuit of being with his woman again.
Ben sighed and replied, “It was probably me; I’m so focused, I can sometimes make those around me feel they don’t have a place in my life. You always did and do, and Zoe most certainly does too. Looking down at her face and holding you now, I know nothing is more important.”
I smiled and we kissed again and our hands entwined on our sexes as the hurt and pain of the last few months was forgotten and our bodies got to know each other again. It was different, yet the same. His body hadn’t changed, still strong and muscular, but a little imperfect in a way that made a girl feel good about herself. Especially a girl who was softer, rounder than before.
Ben began to kiss me; he sat up on his elbow. My new body and curves seemed to be driving him wild as he couldn’t stop running his hands over me as he shifted my legs apart easily with a strong hand. He was an insistent lover, dominant, in control. He leads, I follow. He shifted his body onto mine, less careful of me now, needing me too bad to concern himself with the impact of every move he made on me.
Thrusting his cock up into me with a moan, we were one again. Ben brought his face to mine and began to kiss me and speak softly as he controlled his thrusts into me, “You are the mother of my child; I love you.”
I reached for him, grabbing his strong back, his firm butt, and pulling him into me more and more. His cock plunged confidently in and out of me. I felt womanly, less the girl grad student and more the mature woman. I felt his equal. He may be the super-successful, former CEO, but I had birthed a child and raised it alone for months. I had strength, too.
His body rose and fell on mine and I arched up to meet his thrusts, wanting him to fill me again. He was the perfect fit for me. His cock sheathed into my private places like it was meant to be there, like we were made for each other. Ben kissed me hard as his body picked up speed, needing me; his thrusts became shallower and more urgent. I knew from our time before that he was losing control, losing himself in me, loving it.
Our bodies moved in urgency now, faster together. Ben cried out my name as he thrust in and out of me harder and harder, bringing me closer and closer. The pressure became too much inside me, such a damn of forgotten desire welling up after months alone and I exploded into blissful release. I held Ben tight as I cried out his name and felt a wave of pleasure wash over me.
My needs taken care of, Ben let himself orgasm. He took me hard and harder until his own release became close and his face screwed up tight. He let out a long moan of my name and released his seed inside me, the same act that had created our child, torn us apart, and now brought us back together again.
Af
terwards, we didn’t fall right into each other’s arms. After carefully moving himself off, Ben was up and away, to Zoe’s room. Throwing on his underwear, but otherwise naked, Ben went to check on his daughter. I went to get up too, to show him how, but stopped myself. This was his moment, his time. He was her father; he could care for her too.
I sat anxiously until Ben walked back in with Zoe in his arms, wrapped in a yellow blanket and sleeping peacefully. He held her perfectly, like he just knew. My heart soared at the sight of my strong, handsome, naked lover holding our daughter so carefully in his arms. They were so different; she was tiny in his arms, and so fragile looking, yet so carefully cared for. I knew she was safe, that we would be safe.
Ben spoke as he moved carefully to the bed and said, “She’s ours, May, I can’t believe it. So tiny and perfect.”
I smiled down at our daughter and stroked her little cheek. I couldn’t help myself; I didn’t want to wake her, but I also wanted to touch her, to share in what we had created.
I said, “She looks like you.”
Ben shook his head and laughed, “She has your nose and your hair, and thank god she doesn’t have my looks.”
I laughed and fell back onto the covers for a moment as Ben held Zoe in our bed, grinning.
“You must be joking,” I said, “Mr. Former Male Model.”
Ben winced and joked back, “Hey now, she is never going to know about that. If there is one thing she will never do, that is model or work in fashion.”
I grinned and teased him, “Will you be a strict daddy, Ben?”
Ben looked affronted, and for real, and replied, “Of course! She’s not leaving the house until she graduates from college, and that’s only to get married to a man of my choosing.”
I laughed again, pleased. I had worried about how I was going to raise a daughter on my own. I’m a strong woman, but I wanted her to have a great male role model. Ben was that man, someone who had principles and acted on them, quitting his career at its peak to improve the industry we both loved. Someone who believed in the rights of people, from consumers to daughters and fought for that. A rebel with a cause. And, looking at him looking down at Zoe adoringly, a rebel with a soft heart.
“Look,” Ben breathed, “she’s awake.”
I smiled, “She does that.”
“It’s amazing,” Ben said in awe as his daughter’s big eyes fixed on him.
He rubbed her tummy under the blanket she was wrapped in and Zoe let out a string of giggles much more easily than she ever did with me.
“Sucker,” I said with affection. “She’s already got you wrapped around her finger.”
Ben looked over at me snuggled under the covers and smiled a rueful open faced smile, “Well,” he said, “I think that was always going to be a given.”
I protested, “Hey! I am not going to be the bad guy in this partnership. Promise me I get to be fun mom too.”
Ben laughed and kissed Zoe on the head, “Oh, don’t worry; Zoe will know her mom is the most fun. I can teach her never to drink by telling her how you used to choke on whiskey in bars and wind up with strange, strange men in your life.”
I snorted with laughter, “Oh, really, are you going to hold my past against me? Two can play that game. I will teach her to play by the rules lest she nearly lose her career and future to a handsome professor who likes to throw rules out the window.”
Ben stopped suddenly and covered Zoe’s ears, “Don’t let her hear that; she has to know the only way is to be a good girl.”
I laughed again, wanting to throw a pillow at him like I used to, but this time he held our daughter in his arms as a shield, “Hypocrite!”
Ben defended himself with a lazy smile as he rocked Zoe in his arms, “Aren’t all good parent’s hypocrites? We don’t want our kids to repeat our mistakes.”
I looked at Zoe and at Ben, “Perhaps we should teach her that sometimes mistakes lead to something great.”
Ben smiled at me and the three of us shared a moment as a family. “The best mistakes,” he said, “are all right here in this room.”
Something hit me then and I clutched the duvet to my breasts, “Ben! Speaking of mistakes. We didn’t use protection again.”
Ben smiled at me, “I didn’t care about it. Zoe is so perfect, I thought what would be would be. Why not run full tilt at our family? There’s always room for more.”
I fell back into the bed and ran a hand over my stomach, wondering if new life was being created. This time, though, the new life wouldn’t be a secret. Not that that my secret baby had turned out so bad after all, I thought with a happy look around at my family.
THE END
Wild Night: A Second Chance Romance Page 11