“So you did,” she answered, thinking over what he’d just revealed.
What did he mean by - my girl? What dates? The idea that he hadn’t been seeing anyone at all, at any time over the past two years was ridiculous. But . . . the very thought of it made her feel rowdy, like ants were under her skin, and just plain maddening as all get out!
The server returned, Jason signed and out the restaurant door they went. He had his hand on her back as he pointed her toward his car.
Trying to sound non-chalet and very casual she began with, “Jas, what females have you been dating? Are they members of your church? Do they attend those clubs and organizations you belong to? I heard a girl at school today say you were on the prowl and she was gonna try and get you to take her out. She bragged quite a bit saying she was in one of your clubs. I’ve never met a soul who fills up his time with more social gatherings and meetings than you do, Jason Zonelli. I mean, it’s a wonder you can even get a passing grade, what with all the parties, clubs and stuff you attend.” She paused for a breath and hurriedly asked before he could respond while he was opening her car door, “What’s her name?” Turning to face him she hurriedly added, “Does she treat you good? Is it serious? Is she pretty?”
In Jennifer’s heart of hearts she hoped the poor girl was a charity case as far as Jason was concerned. She wanted her to be homely with crooked teeth and blotchy skin and maybe even warts. Yes! The poor dear was covered in warts and she had allergies that made her scratch herself till her skin oozed and stuff. Her face would swell from just about everything. Pitiful, just pitiful!
His eyes were twinkling when he responded with a smug smile, “Jen, I’m not the sort of man to kiss and tell.”
Her jaw plummeted. “What?” She felt like a hand was squeezing her heart and all the air was leaving her lungs, and her bones were melting as the whole world stopped on its axis.
“You kissed her, Jason? You actually kissed her?!” Her tone was one of complete shock. They had never kissed, not ever, not even a light lip brush, not once! And she had tried, at one time, back when, a while back, and he’d ignored her, acting like he didn’t know what she’d been trying to do!
Jason put his hand on the top of her head to get her to duck her head in as he helped her get seated. He even leaned over her to buckle her seat belt since he had waited for her to do it but she sat there unmoving, staring out the windshield with a thunderstruck look on her face.
She heard his steps on the pavement of the parking lot as he walked to get to his driver’s side, but she wasn’t seeing anything except in her mind Jason kissing a beautiful young woman. Darned if the woman wasn’t kissing him right back too, very enthusiastically!
Jumping out of her side of the car she ran around to his side before he could climb behind the wheel. He stared at her like she was wildly deranged, but that didn’t stop her.
Grabbing his shirt collar on both sides of his neck, she pulled him to her and pressed her lips to his so swiftly he couldn’t stop her even if he’d been trying. She allowed her whole heart to come through in that kiss, as her arms left his collar and went around his neck. She felt him try to pull back at first, for a split second, then he relaxed and sort of let it flow and flow and flow, as he kissed her back. Boy, did he ever kiss back! Jenny had never felt a kiss like this before, it was, well it was galactic!
They were wrapped up as snug as a cocoon in each other’s arms before Jason finally pulled his head back and exclaimed shocked and breathless, “Jenny, Jenny. Oh, my sweet, sweet precious Jenny.”
He wiped tears from her cheeks as she warned, “Jas, please don’t be kissing that other woman again. I just can’t stand the thought. Can’t stand it!”
His laughter finally came through her heart broken mind and she heard him ask, “Is that what brought this on? Are you jealous?”
Reality returned and she tried to push away, and he let her, for a short distance, but held her hands in front of his lips and began kissing her finger tips. She was trying to come up with all sorts of excuses for her behavior but finally gave up, it was hopelessly obvious. “Yeah, guess I am,” she admitted, sniffling the tears back. “Sorry.”
“Aww, Jen.” He held her gently next to him like she was a fragile bird with a broken wing. “I can’t say a word about you feeling jealous when I’ve been seething since that video came out. Well, actually before then. Okay, a long time before then. Every time I saw you with any guy my soul was in pain. I actually had to fast to get control over my fury and anger,” he paused before adding, “and tremendous jealousy.”
Heaving out a big sigh he said with a self depreciating laugh, “It’s been eating me alive, bit by bit. I’ve imagined about every wicked torture that could be done to Scott. And I couldn’t seem to find forgiveness for him, no where, no how, no way. He’d hurt my Jenny. I saw the fear on your face and you trying to get him to turn you lose. I wanted to rip him apart, slowly and most painfully. Father Jose has been hearing my confessions as well as counseling me about my feelings for you, for more than two years.”
“Wow,” Jenny muttered in complete surprised bewilderment.
The restaurant parking area was beside a lot of old oaks; they wandered over to one of the trees, hand in hand and continued their conversation.
Two years ago? Jenny asked, “For two years? That’s when you decided not to become a priest isn’t it?”
Jason’s laughter had some bitterness in it. “Yeah, well, it is sort of contradictive to be planning to become a priest while also starting to realize you’re wanting to be a husband, lover and father. The two don’t mix.”
He looked deep into her eyes and admitted, “Jenny . . . I love you. It’s a true, honest love. I’ve loved you since we were children only twelve years old. I know I will always love you. I don’t expect you to feel the same, not now, and maybe not ever.”
He paused for a little while before asking, “I do wish you would allow me the opportunity to continue to . . . court you?”
Jason kept his eyes on their intertwined fingers. Now he looked at her to see how she’d taken that last statement.
Courting? Jenny quickly looked down and said, “What a quaint word. Courting.” She knew that people used to say they were courting when they were planning on marrying. That thought made her gasp. Marriage? Is that what he wanted? With her? Marriage, forever and for eternity, for she knew that’s how he viewed marriage, for always?
He admitted, “I’m hesitant to bring it up, and it’s probably stupid of me to do so.” Tilting her chin so she couldn’t hide her eyes, he asked, “Did my declaration of love upset you?”
Her heart was beating so fast it felt like a hummingbird was caged inside her chest. He’d been courting her? He was looking into her eyes with such, such . . . love, she now understood and realized. He’d been looking at her like that for a long, long time, for weeks, no, months, no, years, yes for years. He’d loved her for years and she knew it only just now.
Hitting him in the chest with her palm she exclaimed, “Jason Zonelli, why have you waited all this time to tell me? I never knew. Never knew!”
A thought returned, she remembered him and her arguing two years ago and her more or less turning her back on him. She felt shame for having hurt him, she knows now it had to have hurt him worse than she’d ever thought. “I’m so sorry Jas. I never would have hurt you if I had known. I’d been afraid you’d think less of me if I stayed around. Because of the things we don’t agree on, and though you never acted like it, I feared you’d grow to hate me and I couldn’t face that. I know that now, not then. Since the Scotty incident you’ve been so wonderful and all, I thought maybe you’d forgiven me.”
“Forgive you? Jen, for what? You have a right to think and feel anyway you want. Never hide your real, true feelings from me. Promise?” he asked with a smile as he held her to his chest and savored the sensation of her so near at long last.
“Only if you promise me the same thing,” she answered before tastin
g his lips once more. It made her head spin.
“Jen, hon, I promise, but know this, nothing on earth would ever make me hate you. I thought you couldn’t stand to be around me because I’m so obstinate and it caused you to dislike me. And you allowing me to be with you again has been like Heaven for me.”
They laughed at the thoughts they both had.
Holding her shoulders he kisses her forehead, eyes and lips then asks, “About the courting, Jenny, answer me, please?”
She saw in her mind that beautiful woman kissing him again and knew her answer. Smiling into his shining eyes she admitted for the first time to herself and to him, “I’m crazy about you big guy! And if you think I’m gonna let you get away from me without a hurricane of a fight – well, I simply won’t let you go, I can’t let that happen. Jas, I’m in love with you too.”
It was his turn to gasp. He looked so stunned and happy at the same time it made her almost cry. He asked, “Jen, are you certain you feel that way? It’s not just the feeling for this moment?”
Caressing his face with both her hands she answers, “All this time I’ve been in love with you and so afraid of your rejection that I hid it even from myself.”
They hug, clinging to one another, savoring the moment. Then Jason steps back and starts to look and sound a little upset, “Jennifer, my love, did you hear me? What I asked about courting you?”
She was perplexed, why was he upset? She frowned at him a moment trying to put the pieces together again, she’d had them and they had somehow flittered away while he’d been kissing her eyes and fingers and smiling so tenderly at her. She knew she could drown in his beautiful eyes. Realizing he was waiting on her to respond she tried to remember what the question was. Dots began appearing before her eyes and she knew she was seeing with dark edges in her vision while she suddenly felt so weak.
“Breathe, Jen, breathe,” she heard him call out. She did, she took a deep breath, and the world returned, except she found herself sitting on the ground.
“Jenny, you’ve got to stop that! I can’t take it,” he complained to her wearily.
“What’s courting?” she asked him as the color returned to her face and she began feeling normal again. She realized what she thought courting was, but what he thought it was might be two different animals.
His face immediately lost its upsetness and replaced it with bewilderment. “Don’t you know what courting is?” he inquired with disbelief.
“I know what I think it is, but what do you think it is?” she retaliated with a serious expression. No way was he gonna get her confused about this! This was way too serious to allow confusion - at least it was to her. Biting her lip the thought struck her that maybe it wasn’t all that serious to him, she was perhaps putting false hopes and ideas into her own head. An ache entered deeper than her heart at the thought he might not be feeling that serious about her after all.
Sitting down beside her on the grass, they had the tree for back support. He began shaking his head and then started laughing, out loud.
“What?” she asked.
“I find this whole day so bazaar. It’s my dream come true in many ways, yet, it’s so different from what I’d expected, or even hoped for.” He looked up and said, “Thank you, Father! Help me to handle this the right way.”
Turning toward her he picked up her hand, kissed it and said, “Jenny, courting is usually a prelude to an engagement. If the couple finds they are compatible and they have mutual feelings for one another then their marriage is planned.” He paused allowing her to comment. She remained quiet, but nodded her head.
She thought about this for a few minutes and got miffed, she didn’t know why, but it annoyed the daylights out of her that he wanted to “court” her. “Sooo,” she said, speaking low and clear, “you’re not sure about me yet so a courtship will help clear away your doubts?”
His squinting his eyes heavenward and heaving a big sigh didn’t help her irritation. “No, Jenny. I already know how I feel, and I have no doubts, not a single one! It’s for your sake I suggest this. To give you time to see if you might learn to care for me, seriously, for a lifetime,” he explained, talking very slow.
Talking real slow back at him she stated, “Well, Mister Zonelli, that courtship stuff is fine but I already know how I feel about you too?”
“Are you positive?” he asked with his eyes as serious as a Supreme Court Judge’s giving a verdict.
“I love you too, Jason Nathaniel Zonelli, always have, just felt undeserving of you or something,” she stated with a load of emptiness leaving her.
His eyes twinkled brighter than the clear night sky above them, and the smile on his face would make the morning sun jealous she realized as he took her into his arms and gave her the tenderest, sweetest, most loving kiss any female could ever hope for in her life.
With a sparkle in her own eye, Jenny asked brightly, “Mister Zonelli would you say that we are courting now?”
With a grin as bright as the full moon overhead he answered, “That we are Miss Franks. Now, since you are allowing me this wondrous opportunity, let me explain a few rules.”
Looking into her eyes and making sure she is being attentive and not distracted by the cars coming in and going out, he stated, “There will be no hand holding and definitely no kissing of anyone else, no flirting with others . . . .”
Jenny released her suppressed laughter when she asked, “Aww, Jas, you mean you’ll have to curtail that effervescent flirty nature of yours?”
Smiling he admitted, “That one’s mostly for you, we both know. But, seriously Jen, we are to keep ourselves pure.”
Jenny frowned. “Pure? You mean courting doesn’t allow hooking up? Gettin’ it on? Playing please and thank you?”
He shakes his head no while looking unsure at a couple of her phrases, but shaking his head no for safety’s sake.
She grins wickedly. “Even when my big brother has already given you his permission for you to take care of my baser needs?” She leaned in, and to his surprise she kissed his ear, licked the rim and gently tugged the lobe with her teeth.
His breathing picked up. Jenny smiled knowing, oh, he liked that! She’d leaned in to repeat it on his other ear when he stopped her as he returned the deed to her. The kisses and caresses continued for a while, getting better and better until Jason grabs her by the shoulders lends back and says, “I’m sorry Jen. Forgive me. I got carried away. We can’t do that.”
Jenny was just starting to really, really enjoy what he was doing. “What?” Her head was spinning again.
“I should be a stronger man than what I’m discovering I actually am. I’m sorry I let myself run amuck like that. It’s hard Jen, but I have to have boundaries for us.”
“I love your running amuck! Lets run amuck together some more,” Jenny whispers in a half tease.
“Seriously, Jen. We must have boundaries!” he states in his serious voice while she notices his hands have a slight tremor.
“Are those boundaries part of courting?” Jenny asked as she leaned in closer and kisses his jaw and chin.
“Yes,” Jason answered trying to get his breathing back under control. At the same time he was busy trying to get Jenny to behave herself. She seemed to know every spot on his chest, arms, neck, ears and face where her gentle touch created a burst of fame. He also had to move her hand that was sliding just above his knee and burning a hole in his skin. All the while she gave him a look that made it difficult to concentrate on anything but her. He had often thought about her giving him such a look, but now that it was reality it was so much harder to resist than he ever dreamed. But he must resist, for them both.
“Well, let’s not court and just date, would that take some of those rules away?” she asked with a wicked smile.
“Jen, we are courting, not dating. Courting is most serious,” Jason admitted taking a few deep breaths to calm himself and to be more diligent in resisting her touch.
Running her fingers over the r
im of his ear and trailing it down the side of his face before she outlined his lips with a finger tip he began stuttering and finally hushed as he took her fingers and kissed them.
“I love you with my whole being Jen,” he shared, “And being the man I have to look out for us both. Don’t make it too difficult for me. Please. I can only resist so much, because I am only human you know.”
Feeling guilty, a little, seeing he’s sweating, she gives him a light kiss and stands up and heads for the car.
The man has more will power than she’ll ever have, she realized with an irritated snort.
Lives Changing . . .
10 – COURTING & ENGAGEMENT
Jason announces to her parents that they are now courting. Her parents are a little confused until Jason explained it’s a prelude to an engagement, if they continue to be in love and find they are compatible with each other then in time an engagement will be announced.
Jenny knew her parents were thinking that a courtship may last for years, since on all the television shows about the olden days they tended to show people courting forever.
She sure hoped it wasn’t going to be years, she didn’t think she could wait that long. Her desire for Jason was growing daily.
Some time later, one night after Jason left, Jenny went to shower and get ready for bed. They’d done homework together this evening, when Jenny wasn’t teasing him terribly. She realized she grieved over his absence. He was such a hunk! Not knowing how long this courting stuff was supposed to last she was feeling a little flustered. Never had she allowed herself to be so stimulated by any guy before. She seemed to have no control over it. He took her breath away.
It wasn’t that he was male, it was because he was Jas, the man she adored and loved and wanted in so many different ways, not simply for sex, although that would be pretty fantastic all by itself, but it wasn’t enough, she now wanted more. When he was gone she missed him terribly. Hearing his voice gave her peace. Looking into his eyes was more fascinating than anything she’d ever known. He was everything any woman could ever dream of, except for the hands off rule.
THE DAWNING (The Dawning Trilogy) Page 9