“It would be too confusing for the kids,” she explained flatly.
“Confusing? They already have two different last names since two are from one father and one is from another father.” I realized that announcing this to a room full of people may not have been the best move for winning over my almost bride, but by the looks of it, hers was not such an unusual history. “Besides, Tommy is only two and so he won’t understand it anyway. And Annie and Davey are older. They’ll understand all the reasons why it’s a good idea for our family. No confusion.”
“I’m sorry, that’s just how I feel,” she replied coldly. I was speechless. If this was her forever family, then why wouldn’t she want her family to share the same name forever? For a brief instant, I felt like walking out. After all the headaches over finances that began with her driving off and leaving me alone in the parking lot, I found myself once again confronted with doubt. Just as I was about to tell her my feelings, Mary, who probably could qualify as a marriage counselor with all that she’s seen over the years, quickly ended our standoff.
“Okay, then don’t check the box. Sign here. All done. Now let’s go back and get you two people married,” she declared. Mary rose from her seat, motioning us to a doorway leading to a room behind the partitions. Still a little hardened by our interchange, I followed obligingly and greeted Daniel and his wife and we all entered the room together.
This room was smaller than the last, still stuffy, and, with the exception of a wooden podium and a garishly flowered archway, just as barren.
“Paul and Audrey, stand under the archway where you'll take your vows,” Mary instructed, as Daniel and Lana moved over to the left with a camera.
“Do you have the ring?” I whispered to Johnny with a smile, hoping that the little confrontation between Audrey and me had not upset him. He nodded and smiled back, my best man. “Good boy. Okay, now stand here next to Daddy… no, here… ” I actually wasn’t sure where he should stand. Mary stepped in.
“Let me help position you,” she offered, as she moved Johnny just next to me to the right.
“Will you be positioning us tonight, too?” Audrey smirked. That brought howls of laughter from everyone but me. Still annoyed from her refusal to change her name, I was even more put off by her bawdy comment. I felt a cold sensation creep over me. Here I was, seeking to find the best way to include my son in our wedding and she was making off color comments. I narrowed my eyes at her and watched her continue to laugh at her own inappropriate remark. I prepared to say something to put her in her place, but I was once again thwarted by Mary.
“Paul, repeat after me,” she said, snapping me to attention with her directive. Repeating the words Mary read from a small, tattered booklet, Audrey and I abruptly exchanged our vows, and our rings.
Five minutes later, Audrey and I were husband and wife.
Leaving the courthouse, my frustration over the unexpected glitches dissipated and I was swept up with the thought that it had actually happened. I was really married to the love of my life. Daniel and Lana had hugged us both, Mary had offered a rehearsed wish for happiness, and upon exiting the building, the sun still shone brightly overhead. I finally had a family.
To celebrate the occasion, I had made reservations at the Riverside Restaurant, which sat on the bank of Florida’s intracoastal waterway. The restaurant’s cuisine was surpassed only by its views, as diners could enjoy the waterfront vistas while boaters passed by. It was picturesque and provided the perfect setting for what I had hoped would be a perfect day. Now seated with my new family and recent friends, I finally began to relax and take in the moment. From there, the conversation and the wine flowed easily.
“Honey, you know, Daniel is amazing,” I remarked happily, as the wine further enhanced my mood. Daniel’s self-deprecating smile stayed true to his humility. “I don’t know how he does it, supervising all our guys. Even when we get together for lunch, his cell phone rings every five minutes. Just like yours, sweetie.”
“If only I had time to talk,” she replied, with a smile. “Having the kids all day and helping my grandmother gives me little time to breathe, let alone chat away on the phone.”
“I really enjoy my job,” Daniel replied to Audrey. “Before Paul, my business had become too much for me to handle. I spent all day supervising the outside work, only to come home to mountains of paperwork. I was miserable.” Daniel was serious now. He shook his head and continued, “I learned that it really does take two people to run a service-oriented business like this, one supervising the outside workers and one behind the scenes, organizing everything.”
“I see what you mean,” Audrey said, with a faraway look in her eye, as if she was thinking of something else. It occurred to me that we had never discussed what she might want to do for work in a few years when all the kids were in school. A new conversation to discover, I supposed. A new chapter in her life.
After dinner, a three tiered cake, which I’d special-ordered from a local bakery, was brought to the table. Each layer was a different flavor, and the entire cake was draped with flowers, both real and frosting. At least we'd have this little thing, I thought, as I began a feeble attempt to capture the emotions of a more traditional wedding, the “feeding of the bride and groom.”
Our drive home was quiet as the three of us, this new family, sat contentedly in our thoughts, reliving the day’s events. We headed to our new home in Jupiter Lakes, to the house I had purchased only three months earlier. This house had recently been built. Even more, the community of Jupiter Lakes was also fairly new, and set amid a scattering of lakes that nearly outnumbered the plethora of families who had also decided to call it home. The schools were also significantly better in this area of Palm Beach, especially compared to the ones servicing my old community of Boynton Beach. As I drove through the quiet, winding streets of Jupiter Lakes, I watched as families washed their cars, played games, and lived as I was now going to live. For the past few months, Johnny and I visited the house on weekends, painting the interior and putting up blinds. I never really felt part of the neighborhood, though, part of the community. Now, I had a real family, like all my neighbors.
By the time we pulled into the driveway, I was full of pride and anticipation of the beginnings of my new life. I lifted my slumbering son out of his car seat and carried him inside. Laying him gently on his brand new bed, neatly made with Micky Mouse sheets and a soft green blanket, I changed him into his pajamas, careful not to wake him, then stole away to prepare our own bedroom.
While Audrey was still downstairs, I began the process of arranging all over the room the countless candles I’d purchased a few days before. The window sills, the dresser top, and every conceivable place that would not be considered a fire hazard was alight with the luminous glow of the candles. To complete the effect, I carefully scattered rose petals over the bed and quietly backed out of the room. I was determined to make this time everything it should be, and nothing like our first encounter in the car. Closing the doors behind me, I turned to face Audrey who was by now coming up the stairs.
“What are you up to?” she grinned.
Nothing at all!” I smirked. “How about a dip in the Jacuzzi before we call it a night?”
“That sounds wonderful,” she agreed, and we headed out to the backyard where a moonless night awaited us. Slipping into the water, a wave of intoxicating happiness washed over me. We both laid back, staring up at the black sky, and whispered about the day’s events.
“What a day,” I began. “My life finally makes sense. My business is doing great, and now I have a beautiful wife and a big family. Johnny now has brothers and a sister.” I turned to her and watched her look at the sky. “I love you, and I love your kids. I couldn’t be happier.”
“And we all love you too, honey,” Audrey replied, still gazing upward. I sighed and followed her eyes, searching out a star. The hot water began to exhaust me, and I suggested we head inside, not wanting to tire too soon.
; We crept back into the house and I felt the excitement and anticipation of what was to come overtake me. I stepped in front of her and slowly opened the bedroom doors to reveal my secret setting. Anxious to see her reaction, I was surprised to find that she was already peeling off her bathing suit, something I had imagined doing for her. I stepped toward her, eager for an embrace, but was forced to wait while she matter-of-factly draped her bathing suit over the door, completely indifferent to my advances or to her own nudity. I pulled her into me and caressed her face with my hands, leaning down to softly kiss my bride. Audrey was now pressed against me, finally allowing me to feel the warmth of her body, the body I had been desiring for so long. The tangles of her wet hair entrapped my hands like a web, and I waited for her to relax and surrender herself to me.
She stiffened.
For an instant, a dark cloud of unease flitted across my mind. I felt like I was kissing an unwilling stranger. Her teeth were clenched. Her hands barely touched me when I moved my mouth from hers and kissed her neck. Her skin, still warm and soft from the jacuzzi, contrasted with the coldness in her response, and that made me wonder if she really wanted me, but I continued to explore her body with my lips, determined that our lovemaking would be everything I’d imagined it would be. After a few moments, my persistence seemed to pay off and we both became swept away in the heat of the moment.
Afterwards, I lay in the bed, exhausted and exhilarated, wishing Audrey would just lie with me a little longer, snuggle and talk about our new life together, but I watched her quickly retrieve her nightgown and hurriedly dress herself. She went into the bathroom, and a few moments later returned. She slid into the bed next to me, and as I reached for her, she whispered in my ear, “I'm so happy, Paul,” kissed me on the forehead, turned over, and went to sleep. She's probably exhausted from the excitement of our wedding day, I thought, and I fell into a fitful sleep.
I awoke the next morning to face my bride who was still sleeping. Her hair, dry now and curly, cascaded over the pillow. Her lips were parted in a slight smile. Ah, my angel, I thought, and I carefully inched away so as not to wake her.
Carried by the excitement of our first full day as a family, I bounded down the stairs to get started on a bountiful breakfast, replete with scrambled eggs, fresh fruit, and toast. The sounds and smell from the fryer wasted no time in rousing Johnny and the two of us hopped around the kitchen, setting the table, playing a game of catch with the oranges, and humming along with the radio playing very low in the background. Shortly thereafter, my new wife came into view, slowly making her way down the stairs, already dressed for the day with her now tamed hair pulled sharply back in a ponytail.
“How did you sleep... , honey?” I asked, catching myself before I called her “Mrs. Goldman,” as I had intended. Perhaps I could let that argument go, eager to keep things perfect.
“Fine, and you?” she asked, rubbing her temples as she made her way into the kitchen. Johnny looked up at her with a smile, and Audrey flashed him a quick smile and sat down at the table. My giddiness continued as I divided the eggs onto three plates, added the fruit and the slightly burnt toast, and carried it over to the small glass top table in the breakfast nook.
Our breakfast conversation turned to talk of Audrey’s grandmother. Since it was Saturday, Audrey would soon be leaving for her four day stay in Cocoa Beach, attending to the elderly woman’s every need. Though I now knew she was being compensated for all her time and hard work, I still really admired Audrey for her sense of responsibility since her days with her grandmother must have been very difficult. Understanding her commitment, a part of me had still hoped she would have arranged for her aunt to fill in so we could have spent at least a few days together after the wedding.
“You know, I really just like being of service to people,” Audrey said, sipping her coffee, and leaving her food untouched. “And it’s only for a short time. This part-time marriage of ours won’t be forever,” she promised, and quickly rose from the table, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, collected her things, and headed out the door.
While I washed the breakfast dishes, I had time to think. Wow, no mention of last night? No mention of our wedding night? It's almost like we weren't even really married. Her blasé attitude toward me, our marriage, and our new life together concerned me greatly.
Pushing the “on” button of the dishwasher started me thinking about more pragmatic things, like work. I grabbed Johnny and headed out the door for my home office in Boynton. Topping my list of things to do was organizing my files and preparing my computer to move them to my Jupiter Lakes house, and putting the Boynton home on the market, both for sale and for rent. Whichever occurred first was okay by me.
Returning to Boynton, I focused on work, knowing that I wouldn't see Audrey, my wife, again for almost five lonely days. I lovingly placed next to my computer monitor the card Audrey had given me the day before. I reread it:
Love is a gift to cherish. There is a mutual spark & majical touch. An ever-lasting friendship has begun. They share happiness & sorrow. Many challenges lie ahead. Thoughts are shared. Compromises are made to meet each others wants & needs. Like best friends, even without quantity, there is always quality time together.
Marriage is a partnership. It's a commitment between two people who are joining their life's treasures no matter how big or small. Two families grow into one. There is the constant desire to enjoy the pleasures of growing old together while watching the young ones journey through life.
With you Paul, this is what I see & feel. The love I have is unconditional. May the seeds we plant today blossom into a garden for all to share & enjoy.
On the envelope of the card Audrey wrote the words, “BIG SECRET.” Inside, such beautiful sentiments, yet the words on the envelope were puzzling. I wondered what big secret Audrey was referring to...
CHAPTER EIGHT
Red Flags
October - December 2007
Marriage had not changed me, in one important respect. I loved Costco. I loved the oversized pizza-by-the-slice and bottomless soda for only $2.25 per person. And of course, one piece was big enough for two kids. Costco was the perfect place for our family to come back together after Audrey's four day absence.
Not wanting to be late, Johnny and I hurried through the crowded parking lot, struggling to survive the oppressive humidity and the shopping cart traffic jams. When the great Costco doors opened for us, we took our familiar path by the sixty- inch plasma televisions and the fine jewelry counter to get to the brightly lit eatery. Working hard to hold onto Johnny while nearly missing a flying lollipop hurled by a passing child, I caught sight of Audrey and her kids who were already seated at an orange table, awaiting the arrival of the already ordered pizza.
Taking a seat next to my wife, I greeted her with a kiss and a brief embrace while the children cheered Johnny’s arrival. Annie, Audrey's oldest, really had developed a maternal affection for him and Johnny basked in her attention. Audrey’s second child, Davey, proved to be more of a playmate and buddy, while the youngest, Tommy, was the little brother I knew Johnny couldn’t wait to start to play with when he got a little older. It may not have been “The Brady Bunch,” but we were a happy, amicable group nonetheless.
The pizza arrived shortly after we did and it didn’t take long before we were all caught up from our days apart, and little Tommy was covered in pizza sauce. Our moods were cheerful, the pizza was tasty, and the only thing I would have changed was the relentless humidity. Dabbing my forehead for the millionth time, I vocalized an idea the minute it came into my head.
“Honey, why don’t we get a summer home in California?” I suggested impulsively, surprising even myself.
“What? Where is this coming from?” she asked, with a curious smile.
“I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be nice to get out of Florida during the hot months? Spend some time on the left coast?” I continued, giving Davey a wink as the kids began to stir with excitement.
“I
think that’s a wonderful idea,” Audrey said. “Spontaneous and wonderful! We could go during the kids’ summer vacation from school. What do you think of that, kids?” she enthused, turning toward the children who were now chewing excitedly. A chorus of “yeahs!” erupted from the two older children, while the younger two smiled in their partial understanding.
“But what about work?” Audrey asked. The question silenced the table as all eyes turned on me.
“I could run the business long distance. With all the new technology available, a traveling office is very doable. I’ll run it by Daniel, but I know it would work,” I said, thrilled that my proposal had merited such a response. I loved being a hero. Audrey’s eyes were glowing and I felt her hand softly rubbing my thigh.
“I think it would be wonderful,” she said again, smiling at me flirtatiously.
The next day I put a call into Brent Harcourt, an Orange County realtor who had not only orchestrated the purchase and sale of my previous condo, but who also remained in my memory as one of the most professional people I had ever dealt with. Throughout both transactions, Brent was honest, thorough, and incomparably knowledgeable about his field. Remarkably, in the typically complex and frustrating world of real estate transactions, Brent saw to it that I never spent a moment of worry. For this reason, I entrusted him to find a summer home for my new family.
Taking only a few minutes to catch up, Brent informed me of a newly built, family oriented community that he believed would be perfect for our situation and needs. The community was known as Saratoga Ranch and it not only boasted spacious homes with modern amenities, the development itself also offered pools, water parks, and activities for kids all within the confines of the community’s gates. I asked him to send me all the available listings immediately and I called Audrey into my office. Within moments, the beep of my computer announced a new email. We opened it together.
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