by Reana Malori
“You’re going to let something like this come between us?” he growled. “You’re better than this, Kiana. This situation has nothing to do with us.”
Standing, she began pacing the room. “Oh, but it does. You’re not the person I thought you were.”
“I’m not a fucking racist, Kiana. You know this. How can I be a racist? I sleep with you every night. We fuck every day. You know how much you mean to me.”
Getting her own ire up, she yelled into the phone, “Do I?” Voice cracking, she tried again. Something inside her warned her to slow down. To be careful of her words. Too bad she was past the point of reason.
“From where I stand, you’re just another motherfucker who gets his kicks by fucking black women. As long as you keep us full of your dick, that’s all you care about. Hell, you even had yourself one of the smart ones.”
“You better watch your mouth, Kiana,” his angry tone filled the line. “Fuck this. I’m on my way up. Open the door,” he demanded.
Her eyes went to the front door. He was already here? “No. I don’t want you here.” Walking into the living room, she glanced at the door. The locks were fully engaged. Good. Max could kiss her ass.
Was she overreacting to the situation?
Hell no. He fucked up!
Okay, maybe. He hurt her, and that was not okay.
Max needed to learn that she wasn’t here just for his amusement. She’d put her faith in him. Trusted him. Gave herself to him in every sense of the word. He knew things about her, and her body, that she’d never shared with anyone else.
Sudden pounding on the front door made her jump in alarm.
“Open the goddamned door, Kiana,” Max’s calm voice came through the phone.
“No. Go home,” she snapped. “I’m not in the mood for your shit tonight. Maybe we need some time apart. We both need to reevaluate what this is between us.”
“I can’t believe this shit. You’re questioning what I feel for you because of some shit my nephew did?”
“No! It’s because I was blindsided today. You claim to care about me. I sleep with you every night. We both have clothes and other personal items at the other person’s home. The things we’ve shared can’t be ignored. But after I thought about it a bit more, I came to a conclusion.” Looking down at her bare feet, she bit her bottom lip. Her face was wet from tears. She placed a hand on her flat stomach, the knotted feeling almost making her sick. Maybe this confrontation was a long time coming.
“Kiana. Let me in so we can talk.” His strong voice carried through the phone, the tone almost sad, pleading.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she blurted.
She heard his deep inhale through the phone. “What the fuck does that mean? Baby, please listen to me. Open the door. Let’s talk about this.” Another three loud bangs on the door. “Kiana, sweetheart. I need to look at you. Don’t do this over the phone. I’m right outside. Open the door.”
Torn up inside, she didn’t move for a few seconds. The only thing she wanted was to be held in his arms. She also knew if that happened, he’d convince her to forgive him. Which she’d probably do anyway. Her feelings for him had her tied up in knots.
The things she was willing to do to be with Max scared her.
If he knew how far she would go to have his love, it would probably scare him.
He’d been attracted to her looks; she knew that from the beginning. A man like him wouldn’t want a woman who couldn’t be viewed as respectable in public. That was her, all right. Respectable. Responsible. Reliable. At least to everyone who thought they knew her.
She was finally with someone who wouldn’t shy away from her darkest desires. A man who could accept her faults, even as he appreciated her beauty. Now they had to deal with this added issue of his family dynamics. Maybe this was the price she had to pay. To have the man she wanted, she had to slay the dragons he refused to acknowledge.
Slowly making her way over to the thick barrier, she spoke into the phone.
“I’m opening the door.”
Disengaging the locks, she opened the door to reveal his face. Kiana was shocked by what she saw.
Max’s tie was crooked. His knee-length black cashmere coat was hanging off one strong shoulder. Lips that she’d kissed every night for the past three months were in an angry line. The whites of his eyes were red-rimmed, and his brow was creased into a frown. Max didn’t look like himself. Not once in their time together had he ever been out in public looking less than perfect. Removing the phone from her ear, she disconnected the call since he was standing in front of her.
Unable to turn away, her heart pleaded with her brain to reach out to him. To pull him close to her. Let him know that everything would be okay. Kiana had to force her body not to move toward him, to allow him to do this on his own. If she touched him, she knew it would be over. The conversation they needed to have would never take place.
Before stepping in, she saw him turn to someone standing next to him. “Wait for me downstairs. I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I’ll call you.”
“Yes, Boss,” the deep voice returned, but she couldn’t see who was speaking.
“Who’re you talking to?” Leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the person before they left, her view was blocked by Max as he stepped inside.
“My driver.” Closing the door behind him, he turned to engage the locks. “Now, what were you saying about how we need a break?”
Stepping back toward the living room, Kiana wrapped her arms around her waist. With Max in the same room, her courage had fled. All she wanted to do was fling herself into his arms. Ask him to hold on to her. To never let go. Beg him to make these doubts go away as he made love to her all night. Tell her he was sorry for making her feel like she wasn’t important to him.
“Kiana. Answer me.” His voice was closer to her, right in her ear. He’d come up behind her in the few seconds she’d been turned around.
Taking in a shuddering breath, she exhaled. “You hurt me today. You disappeared on me last night. I hadn’t heard anything from you. I had no idea where you were. No idea what was happening.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “Sleeping in that bed without you, I tossed and turned all night. I was worried out of my mind.”
Glancing up at him, she allowed the hurt she felt inside to be seen. Putting her guard down wasn’t something she did often, but she’d done that with Max. It allowed him to hurt her, which wasn’t a mistake she made twice.
“Next thing I know, you’re walking into my law firm, smooth as the day is long. Fresh suit, hair perfect, with your lawyer in tow. Hiring us to defend your nephew. Who’s been accused of a hate crime, no less.” She laughed a little, shaking her head in disbelief.
“My first thought was to wonder if you were with another woman. That maybe I wasn’t enough for you, or you were tired of me.”
“Never. I will never choose another woman over you.” His gruff voice made her pause.
Looking at him, she noticed the look in his eyes. The pain was real. The plea to believe him couldn’t be ignored. “If you say so,” she responded in a soft tone. No matter how much she wanted to believe him, with everything happening between them, she needed to slow things down.
“Then lo-and-behold, I find out the man I’ve been dating for the past six months…” She paused, turned away, and walked toward the window overlooking the Towne Center. Cars and people bustled along the streets, entering and exiting the stores and restaurants.
“I find out that you’ve kept secrets from me this entire time. About who you are. Who your family is. What they believe. It makes me wonder what other secrets you’re keeping. What else don’t I know about you?” She turned to him, her arms falling to her sides. “Tell me the truth. Do you believe what your family does? That blacks are inferior?”
If she weren’t so adamant about having the discussion, she’d almost be afraid. The look of anger on his face was startling.
“How can you ask me that?”
“Answer the question,” she pressed.
“No! I do not believe that. If I did, you wouldn’t be the woman I’d be fucking every night.” His anger and frustration were palpable.
Placing his hands in his pants pockets, his Adam’s apple moved up and down as if he were swallowing. She knew if they had any chance of moving beyond this, they couldn’t stop now.
“That doesn’t mean they didn’t try. My mom would take us home every six months or so. They tried to make me think the same way they did. I never did. Never understood their way of thinking. It got me into quite a few scrapes with my cousins. I have quite a few battle scars to remember those times. But none of that mattered. I wasn’t like them.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me this? All the times we’ve talked about your past, you never mentioned a word of this.”
“Baby, there are things about me, my past, that aren’t for polite company. I don’t want to scare you away. Sharing things about my past, how I grew up, is difficult for me. What if I open up, tell you everything, and you end up leaving?” Walking up to Kiana, he pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her body. “I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a selfish, jealous man. Having you walk away from me, from us, I don’t think I could take it. Don’t push me away, Ki. Not tonight.”
She didn’t want to relax into him. Her brain told her to pull away. To reject his attempt at comforting her. Everything else in her wanted to sink against his warmth. Inhale his favorite cologne as it clung to his skin. Accept every word coming out of his mouth as if it were the gospel truth. God, she needed this man so much. Craved him. Longed for him. Loved him.
Yes, she loved him. Maybe it was time he knew that as well. “How do you know I would run?”
“My world is not for you,” he admitted in a low voice. “It can be gritty and raw and unpredictable.”
Looking up into his eyes, she stared at him, almost daring him to answer her question honestly. “But you’re a businessman. Why would your world be gritty and raw? Is there something else you’re not telling me, Max?”
His hold on her tightened, and he used one of his hands to press her head back onto his chest. “Baby, I need you to trust me.”
“Trust goes both ways. Unless you trust me in return, I’m not sure we can get past this.” Sadness flowed through her at his continued hesitation. She wasn’t expecting him to tell her all the secrets of the world, but damn, she deserved more than this.
“I know. For right now, I need you to believe me on this issue with my family. Their beliefs don’t impact us. Never will. We’ll deal with that issue the best way we can. For right now, can we leave it there?”
Kiana thought for a few minutes as she considered all the things Max said, and the things he didn’t say. At the end of the day, she was still an attorney. Not his personal attorney, but an attorney all the same. Was she ready to risk her career for the love of a man? Could she throw away the dreams she and her parents had worked so hard for to protect a man who wouldn’t be honest with her?
Thinking about her parents, she knew what her mother would do in this situation. Her father would do the same. She’d grown up with parents who lived for their family and loved each other hard, even when things got a little upside down. Life wasn’t always easy. It was messy, the wind could shift on a moment’s notice, and sometimes shit was just fucked up.
She’d fulfilled not only their dreams but her own. If she found half of what they had together, they’d have her back.
There were times when a decision had to be made. And this was one of them. She had a plan to protect both her and her man. But that was something best left for tomorrow.
“Max, just answer one question for me.”
“Anything.”
“Whatever goes on in your world, any challenges that come your way, can you protect me?”
His body jerked a bit. She knew her question surprised him. His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “I will always protect you. No matter what. If anything were to happen to you, it would only be due to my death. Because if I were alive and you were harmed, I would burn this city to the ground.”
CHAPTER SIX
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Max looked down at the woman asleep in his arms. His heart squeezed with the realization that he’d almost lost her. His past was catching up with him, with his present close behind. He needed to control the pace.
As he’d listened to Kiana hand him his ass for lying to her—well, keeping secrets, which was just as bad—he knew she had every right to be upset. There were things about him she knew nothing about. If she did, she’d have never given him the time of day. This situation with his nephew was about to expose his childhood, which could then open a whole new can of worms for him. That, he could not allow to happen.
He still believed his nephew was telling him the truth. If that was the case, it meant something else happened in that alley the other night. He’d ask Nico to do his own investigation into the issue. If something went down that wasn’t on the up-and-up, Nico could find it.
Kiana made a sound as she shifted. Max adjusted her body, positioning her so that she was lying halfway on top of him. Brushing her hair back from her face, he inhaled the scent of her lotion. A smile formed on his lips. He’d dated other black women before, but there was something about Kiana that was different.
His instincts called out for him to protect her. Shield her from the ugliness in his world. Not just because she was a woman, or an attorney. That was part of it, but not the whole story. She tried to portray a woman who was feisty, independent, and who could handle any situation that came her way. There was no doubt she was all those things. Compared to him, she was pure. Clean.
The light to his dark.
There was so much he wanted to tell her. He was tired of lying to her. Keeping so much of himself hidden away. There were days he wanted to run things past her, use that smart-ass brain of hers. Other days, he just wanted to let the walls down, cling to his woman, and sink balls deep inside her slick pussy after having a day from hell. Having her as a full partner by his side, he knew they’d be unstoppable. Her beauty and brains. His power and intensity.
He’d finally found his own version of peace in a world that tried to claw at him constantly. And he couldn’t even share with her just how much that meant to him. How much she meant to him on the days filled with violence, blood, and death. Coming home to her smile, laughter, and her whispered words of desire calmed his soul. Quieted the monster that lay inside his chest.
When he made love to her, it was like finding his own version of paradise. Sinking inside her body as she clutched his arms, he’d stare into her beautiful brown eyes as she begged him for more. The whimpers and moans escaping her lips would make his heart expand so much it hurt. This woman, who could claim any man she wanted with just the crook of her finger, had chosen him. Allowed him to claim her body in every way he wanted, and she’d loved every minute of it.
This beautiful woman had no idea she saved him every single fucking time she loved him so damn good.
Smiling in the darkness, he thought of all the nights he’d taken her soft and slow. He’d shown her all the ways he could make her moan his name. Tears would fall from her eyes as her orgasm careened through her body to soak his cock. There were also those times when he needed her hard, rough, and fast.
His angel took everything he gave her and returned it back to him twofold. He released a moan as he thought about the other night. It had been a particularly rough day. When he walked in and demanded she get naked, she did it without hesitation. He’d fucked her so long and hard, she’d passed out from exertion.
Soft words had escaped her lips that night. She’d told him of her love for him, her need for him. She’d pleaded with him to never let her go. That she belonged to him. She had no idea that she’d shared her feelings out loud—but he knew, and he’d never forge
t. He was taking every damn word as a sacred oath that couldn’t be broken.
Kiana was put on this earth just for him. He’d destroy anything, and anyone, who tried to take her away.
Earlier tonight when she’d asked what other secrets he was hiding from her, it jarred him. There were things she could never know. Not so much about his past, because he would share whatever she needed to satisfy any concerns she had about his beliefs. No, it was his present that concerned him most.
He straddled two worlds daily. At some point, he knew the two would crossover. He just didn’t want it to happen right now. Losing Kiana wasn’t an option for him. He’d never let her go. If he had to weave a world where they existed in a special bubble, protected from all the dangers that would come to their doorstep, he would do it without hesitation.
“What are you thinking about?” Kiana’s low voice sounded in the room.
Thinking whether he should tell her the full truth, he decided to go with a different approach.
“You. Us.” It was a version of the truth, so he felt comfortable with the deflection.
Stretching her body, she placed one leg over his as she wrapped one arm tighter around his waist. It took everything in him not to flip her over, rip her clothes off, and fuck her into oblivion. He may be the devil, but he wasn’t a damn monster. He knew she needed more than just sex to make things right between them.
“I think I overreacted earlier today,” she whispered.
Smiling, he knew how much it took for her to admit she’d probably been wrong. His woman was more like him than she realized. He stayed silent. Knowing her the way he did, he waited for her to speak again.
“Max, I’m not naïve.”
“What—” he began, but she placed a finger on his lips.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I think you need to hear it again. If I’m going to be with you, I need to understand and accept the entire package. For me to protect myself from the ugliness in this world, I need to be prepared.”