Ice Dreams

by Jo Cotterill

  Tania sighed in frustration. ‘I did. He is. But he’s not safe, Lib. I’m not having him throw me around the rink like some sort of soft toy.’

  ‘Wow …’ breathed Libby. ‘Will you be doing lifts and things then? How exciting! Aren’t you excited?’ She saw her friend’s face. ‘I guess not. But Tania, isn’t this kind of a cool thing? I mean, I know you’re annoyed, but won’t it be nice to do something a bit different for a while?’

  ‘I don’t want to do something different,’ said Tania. ‘I want to be a singles skater. I don’t want to skate pairs. If I did, I would have gone down that road a long time ago. And I wouldn’t have picked someone like Zac.’

  Libby put her head on one side. ‘Is he cute?’

  ‘Libby …’

  ‘No, really though. Is he cute? Because that makes all the difference.’

  Tania shook her head. ‘He’s all right, I suppose. But Libby, you’re completely missing the point. Because of this, I won’t be able to take my NISA test.’

  ‘Can’t you do it another time?’

  Tania gave up. ‘It’s no use trying to explain it to you. You don’t get it.’

  Libby wasn’t listening. ‘Are you practising today? Is it your first session with Zac? I mean – oh, you know what I mean.’ She giggled. ‘Your first skating session with Zac.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Tania. ‘Yeah, today, after school. I am so not looking forward to it.’

  ‘Do you think I could come and watch?’ said Libby eagerly.

  Tania turned to her. ‘Don’t you dare. Besides …’ she picked up her bag, ‘there may not be any skating today, not if I get my say.’

  Libby stared. ‘What do you mean? What are you going to do?’

  ‘Never you mind,’ said Tania. ‘I think it’s about time I stood up to Brock, that’s all.’

  Brock and Zac were already there when Tania arrived. ‘Good,’ said Brock briskly. ‘Get your boots on and we’ll see you on the ice.’

  ‘Hang on,’ said Tania, her bag heavy over her shoulder. ‘I need to talk to you first.’

  Brock glanced over his shoulder at her. ‘Can’t you talk on the ice? We’ve got a lot to get through.’

  ‘No,’ said Tania, shifting nervously from foot to foot. ‘I need to talk to you now. In private.’

  Brock frowned. ‘Is it about you being paired with Zac?’

  Zac looked at Tania and gave her a wave, though his eyes remained wary.

  ‘Look, it’s nothing personal,’ said Tania.

  Zac gave a short laugh. ‘Course it isn’t.’

  Tania turned to Brock. ‘Can’t we talk somewhere else?’

  ‘No,’ said Brock. ‘Anything you’ve got to say, you can say in front of Zac. He’s a tough boy, he can take it.’

  Zac grinned.

  Tania hesitated. ‘Well, all right then.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I don’t think Zac is a good enough partner for me.’

  Brock raised an eyebrow. ‘I think I’m the best judge of that, don’t you? I do coach both of you, after all.’

  ‘He’s never performed professionally,’ said Tania, a pleading note creeping into her voice. ‘He’s not up to my standard. I’m not trying to be rude about it, but has he actually taken any NISA tests?’

  ‘There’s more to skating than tests,’ said Zac.

  ‘I know that,’ said Tania, ‘and I’m sure you’re very good. You know, for someone who hasn’t been skating long. It’s just that I’ve been doing this all my life.’

  ‘So why aren’t you getting any better then?’ said Zac, his voice hardening.

  Tania felt a jolt of shock. ‘What?’

  ‘I’ve seen you skate,’ said Zac. ‘You’re losing your edge. Those double axels – you used to be able to land them no problem.’

  ‘Leave my double axels out of it,’ snapped Tania.

  ‘But they’re not the only thing going wrong,’ persisted Zac. ‘You’re not getting enough height on your jumps – you’ve got scared somehow. I don’t know why, because you’re an amazing skater, but all of a sudden you’re going nowhere.’

  ‘How dare you!’ Tania flared. ‘You’ve got no right to criticize my skating! I’ve been doing it since I was five – you’re just an amateur!’

  Zac whistled. ‘Whoa there, no need for insults. I was just saying what I see, that’s all.’

  ‘Well don’t,’ said Tania. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t do half the stuff I can do.’

  ‘Really?’ Zac grinned suddenly, and his face was transformed with mischief. ‘You want to bet?’

  ‘Oh, come on,’ Tania said with a scornful laugh. ‘I’ve seen your skating. You’re good, but you’re not that good.’

  ‘Prove it,’ said Zac. ‘Show me what you can do, and then I’ll show you what I can do. We’ll see who’s the amateur then.’

  Brock was stifling his chuckles.

  Tania was too furious to refuse. ‘Right,’ she said, stomping off to the changing room. ‘You’re on. Let’s see how you cope with a Biellmann spin.’

  Tania’s hands were shaking with anger as she tied her laces, but she didn’t rush the important task. Zac may not care about the presentation and quality of his boots, but she sure as hell did.

  Zac was doing endless back crossovers when she got to the barrier, faster and faster. There were two other skaters on the ice, and he whizzed past them with inches to spare. Tania did some preliminary leg stretches and when Zac spotted her, he skated over, coming to a sharp hockey stop which sprayed ice chips across the mat. Tania was not impressed. ‘Do you have to do that?’ she asked.

  Zac waved an arm towards her. ‘Do you have to do that?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Tania shortly. ‘It’s called warming up. You might benefit from a few warm-ups too.’

  Zac watched Tania as she lowered herself gently into the splits. ‘Why would I need to do that? Men don’t have to do fancy stuff like that on the ice. It’s all about speed and power.’

  Tania threw a look of disgust to Brock, who was still looking highly amused. ‘You can’t be serious to pair me with him,’ she said.

  Brock shrugged. ‘Prove him wrong then.’

  ‘Fine.’ Tania stood up. ‘Move over, newbie.’

  ‘Ladies first.’ Zac swept a hand across the rink.

  Tania felt more fired up than she had in months. She’d show him! Her Biellmann spins were the talk of the county. No one did them as beautifully and precisely as she did. Spins had always been easy, and Tania had worked on perfecting them so much that she hardly travelled an inch on the ice whilst spinning.

  She stroked her way around the rink, building up speed and concentration, and then, as she approached Zac and Brock, she extended one leg behind her and took off into a flying camel spin, the air whistling through her hair. Round and round she spun, gradually reaching behind her with one hand to grab the blade, then pulling up and up behind her head and reaching back with the other hand …

  Brock and Zac watched as Tania spun for what felt like ages in a beautiful Biellmann spin, hands locked on the skating blade behind her head, back arched in a perfectly balanced shape. Brock nudged Zac and nodded towards Tania’s foot, which was revolving on the exact same spot, over and over again, as though it were held there by a metal pin.

  Finally, Tania let go of her foot and the spin slowed, finishing with a graceful pose. One of the other skaters clapped in admiration. ‘Well?’ she said, more than a hint of pride in her voice.

  ‘Very nice,’ said Zac.

  ‘Go on then,’ said Tania. ‘You do it.’

  Zac snorted. ‘Men don’t do Biellmanns. You know that.’

  ‘Evgeni Plushenko does,’ retorted Tania.

  ‘Biellmann spins are for girls,’ said Zac, but he looked unsettled. ‘You know I can’t do that.’

  Tania folded her arms. ‘So I win, then?’

  Zac’s eyes narrowed. ‘Win?’ He paused. ‘Fine. If that’s what you want. But after I do this, you have to do my move.’<
br />
  ‘Fine,’ said Tania.

  Zac stroked his way round the rink and prepared for a spin. His flying camel was clumsy but he didn’t fall, and to begin with the spin was quite respectable. But as he reached behind for his blade, Zac started to lean out of the spin, and his base foot began to move across the ice, tracing a swirly pattern instead of a tight circle.

  Tania smirked.

  Zac did manage to grab one blade behind him, but he simply didn’t have the flexibility in his back to bring the foot up behind his head, and after a moment or two, he let go, finishing the spin with an annoyed expression on his face.

  ‘Lovely,’ said Tania sarcastically. ‘So graceful.’

  ‘My turn then,’ said Zac, looking her straight in the eye. ‘You ready?’

  Tania shrugged, though inside her heart was racing. What would Zac choose? She crossed her fingers tightly. Let it not be a jump … let it not be a triple axel …

  Zac took off, a steely determination in his face. The laid-back air had gone completely – Zac was serious now, focused on his skating. He raced around the rink, and then, as he approached Tania and Brock, he used a mohawk to get onto his backward inside edge. Tania’s stomach plummeted, as Zac lifted his free leg behind him. She knew what kind of jump this was going to be, and she prayed her hardest that he wouldn’t land it. If he did …

  Zac bent, gathered himself – and leaped. Once, twice, three times he spun in the air, and then he crashed down onto his right outside edge. He had spun so high and so fast that the landing was almost disastrous, but somehow Zac managed not to fall. Face flushed with pride, he swung into a hockey stop in front of Tania and said, ‘Go on then. Let’s see you land a triple salchow!’

  Chapter 4

  See how it goes

  TANIA’S MOUTH WAS dry. Nervously, she licked her lips. She hadn’t expected this. A double, yes. Maybe a triple loop … ‘I didn’t know you could do that,’ she blurted out.

  Zac grinned, delighted he’d impressed her. ‘Neither did I,’ he said. ‘That was the first time.’

  Brock let out a snort of laughter, which he quickly muffled.

  Tania stared. ‘The first time? You mean, you’ve never done that jump before?’

  ‘Nope,’ said Zac. ‘I mean, I’ve done a double before. But I thought I might as well try a triple.’

  ‘You mean, you just … threw yourself into it and hoped it worked?’ Tania couldn’t keep the disbelief out of her voice.

  ‘Pretty much.’

  Tania shook her head. ‘You – you … that is just ridiculous!’

  Zac shrugged. ‘Worked though, didn’t it?’

  ‘Bet you couldn’t do it a second time,’ she challenged.

  Zac laughed. ‘Oh no, that’s not the deal. I only had to do it once. Now it’s your turn. Stop putting it off.’

  ‘I’m not,’ said Tania, though her stomach felt like lead. Like the axel, the triple salchow had been giving her trouble for months. Even the double wasn’t a sure thing any more. She glanced at Brock, but there was no way out from him.

  ‘Your turn,’ said Brock. ‘Go on. You made Zac do a Biellmann.’

  ‘Yes, but …’

  ‘So I win then?’ said Zac.

  Tania looked at him; his hazel eyes flashed with the challenge. Her jaw tightened. ‘No way.’ Without a pause, she set off around the rink. Her mind babbled at her: Use the three turn to get into it, like you’ve been taught … get that inside edge really secure … swing the free leg across into the nine o’clock position …

  Tania’s body tensed up – and with it, her mind, which froze. Panic swept through her like lightning. A loud crack, a high scream … But she couldn’t stop now, and so she swept the leg across, jumped – and knew it wasn’t high enough for a triple.

  ‘That was a double,’ said Zac mildly.

  ‘I know,’ said Tania, irritated. ‘I’ll go again.’ Without waiting for a reply, she set off again. Her hands and feet felt frozen. Tiny prickles of fear travelled up and down her back. She set off into the three turn, but she already knew it wasn’t going to work. Images of crashing down onto the ice raced in front of her eyes, the bone cracking and splintering. She took a breath and held it – at the same time knowing this was the wrong thing to do – leaped – felt the free leg wrap too high – knew it was an ugly position – began to come down – reached out with the landing leg – but the ice was at the wrong angle, and the ankle twisted under her …

  ‘Tania! Are you all right?’ Brock was at her side immediately.

  ‘I’m fine,’ Tania snapped, furious with herself and with everyone around her. Her fall had been undignified and painful, and she felt as though she had just been exposed as a terrified fake. How could anyone take her seriously when she couldn’t land a jump like that? It was humiliating for a top skater like her! She turned to Zac, panic and adrenalin making her lash out. ‘Why did you choose a triple? It’s too damn dangerous!’

  Zac spread his hands. ‘Why did you choose a Biellmann? You know men don’t do them.’

  ‘Right,’ said Brock loudly. ‘That’s quite enough from both of you. I think you’ve proved to each other that you both have skills that the other doesn’t have. I believe this is a good pairing. Zac, you can learn precision and grace from Tania – something she has worked hard at over the years. Tania, you’ve become frightened of jumps and taking risks. Zac can show you how to overcome that. No …’ He held up his hand as they both began to speak. ‘I don’t want to hear it. Neither of you can progress much further unless you acknowledge the weaknesses you have and accept help. Whether that help is from me or each other.’

  ‘But my test …’ pleaded Tania.

  ‘I’m not training you for your test until the spring,’ said Brock firmly. ‘You’re not ready. So it’s either skating with Zac or nothing. Your choice.’ He put his hands on his hips and looked sternly at Tania.

  ‘That’s not fair,’ grumbled Tania.

  Brock lost his temper. ‘I’m your coach and I tell you what’s fair. Stop acting like a spoilt child. You’re a good skater, Tania, but I’ve got other good skaters too. They listen to me; they do what I tell them because they know they won’t get far if they don’t. You’ve got big-headed, that’s the problem. You’re a great junior, but you’ll never make senior if you don’t start dealing with your problems. So put up or shut up. I’m too busy to waste time arguing with you.’ He looked at his watch. ‘You’ve got thirty minutes left on the ice, having wasted half of the lesson with your stupid competition. Make good use of it. I’ve got better things to do.’ He turned his back on them and walked off in the direction of his office.

  Zac looked hesitantly at Tania. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and she was staring fixedly at the barrier so as not to see Brock’s anger. He had never spoken to her like that before. She felt like she was five again and a beginner, not a girl who had won the Juniors and hoped to make the Olympic squad in a year’s time.

  ‘Tania?’ said Zac quietly. ‘You OK?’

  Tania blinked and rubbed her gloved hands across her face. ‘I’m fine,’ she said shakily. ‘I’m just a bit – tired, that’s all.’ She took a couple of breaths to try to calm herself. Pull yourself together! Why do you have to over-react all the time?

  Zac bit his lip. ‘You want to try going round the rink for a bit? Together, I mean. Just crossovers and stuff. Nothing fancy.’

  Tania took another breath and glanced up at him. He could have been crowing over her. She had just been taken down a peg, and she might have expected him to be pleased about that. But instead he was looking at her in a sympathetic way, as though he knew how humiliated she was but didn’t want to make it worse. Her gaze flicked a moment to the staff door, which had closed behind Brock. Brock didn’t do things without a reason, she knew. All these years he’d been her coach, he’d never asked her to do something that would harm her skating. Maybe she should trust him on this?

  Tania drew another breath and turned to Zac. ‘All
right,’ she said. ‘Just to see how it goes.’

  Zac smiled and held out his hand. ‘Maybe you can show me how to improve my spins too.’

  Tania took his hand, and they moved onto the ice together. ‘Maybe. If there’s time.’

  Brock watched from the little window in the door leading to the staff corridor. He saw Tania reluctantly take Zac’s hand and the two of them head off around the rink. He saw Zac suggest back crossovers, and Tania increase the number of strokes to match Zac’s. After a couple of circuits, they changed to front crossovers, with a passing step so that every few strokes, one of them passed the other to end up in front. Then Zac came up next to Tania and took the traditional pose of pairs skating, with one hand held in front and the other on her waist.

  Brock smiled. They made a striking pair, even from a distance. Zac was a good six inches taller than Tania, and his short blond crop contrasted well with her long dark ponytail. Even their clothing seemed to fight for supremacy: Tania in her usual navy practice outfit; Zac in his slightly too loose tracksuit trousers with a grey T-shirt and bare arms.

  Brock felt a sudden thump of the heart, something that only happened rarely, when he knew he was watching something very special. He stared at Tania and Zac. Fire and ice, thought Brock to himself. But which was which?

  Tania was surprised when the bell rang for the end of the session. The time had flown by and they hadn’t even done much.

  ‘That was fun,’ said Zac, his cheeks reddened from the exertion. He glanced at Tania to see how she would react, but she smiled back.

  ‘Yeah, I guess it wasn’t too bad after all.’

  ‘I’m always up for trying something new.’ Zac grinned. ‘And it sounded like a crazy idea at first, but I guess Brock must have his reasons.’

  Tania’s expression turned serious. ‘You know singles skating is my career, don’t you? This is only something I’m doing because Brock wants me to.’

  ‘Yeah, I get that. It’s just for the show.’

  ‘That’s right. But I put in a hundred per cent all the time. In all my training, everything. And if I’m going to skate pairs, then I’ll put in the effort. I’ll need you to do the same.’