by Jo Cotterill
Caroline grinned. ‘Do you mean my money or my sanity?’
Tania gave a half-laugh. ‘The money. How much money have you paid for me to keep skating?’
Her mother’s brow creased. ‘I don’t know. Why?’
‘Hundreds?’ pressed Tania. ‘Thousands?’
‘Thousands, certainly,’ said Caroline. ‘A lot, I suppose, if you added it up over the years. Your skates cost over a thousand pounds on their own, and every time your feet grow, you need a new pair.’
Tania nodded. ‘And then there’s ballet and I suppose Brock costs money too.’
‘He certainly does,’ said Caroline, rolling her eyes. ‘A very expensive coach, especially for individual lessons. But he’s the best, or so they said. And he’s been good for you.’
‘I wonder how Zac manages to pay him then?’ mused Tania.
Caroline turned to look at her daughter. ‘Zac? What sort of family does he come from?’
‘He said his parents didn’t go to university and now they run a pub.’
‘Run a pub? Wow, that’s hard work. I wouldn’t want to do that.’
‘But somehow they must pay for him to skate, mustn’t they?’ asked Tania, frowning. ‘I mean, surely his part-time wages wouldn’t pay for Brock?’
Caroline filled the kettle and switched it on. ‘Cup of tea? I don’t know how they do it, Tania, but I do know one thing. When you’re a parent, you want the best for your child. If that means going without something for yourself so that your child can have something they need, then you just do it.’
‘Like what?’
‘Well.’ Caroline pulled up a chair and sat down as the kettle started hissing. ‘Remember last year when you went to that competition in Sweden?’
‘Yes.’ Tania screwed up her nose. ‘I messed up the double salchow.’
‘You got silver. That was excellent.’
‘Not gold, though.’
‘Anyway,’ said Caroline, ‘your father and I had booked to go away that week. It was our twentieth wedding anniversary, remember?’
‘Um …’
‘It’s all right. I don’t expect you to remember things like that. We had a nice dinner out instead. But we had to cancel our week away so that we could take you to Sweden.’
Tania stared. ‘You never told me that.’
Caroline shrugged. ‘What for? I didn’t want you to feel guilty about it. We made the choice. We could have told you that Sweden was impossible. But you really wanted to compete, so we just cancelled the holiday. We’ll go another time.’
‘But it was your twentieth wedding anniversary!’
‘Then maybe we’ll go for our twenty-fifth.’ The kettle clicked off, and Caroline got up to make tea. ‘The point is, Tania, that parents give up a lot for their children because they want to. And it’s worth it too. We’re so proud of you. And when you won silver in Sweden, it was worth us having given up our holiday. Watching you skate out there …’ Caroline sighed. ‘It was beautiful. You’re so lucky, Tania, to be so talented.’
‘I know.’ Tania ran her thumb over the handle of her mug. Memories rippled through her: of Sweden, winning the silver (not the gold! So close!); her mother driving her to the rink at six a.m., bleary-eyed; her father ringing to book flights to the various countries in which she would compete; spending time on the Internet, researching different sorts of skating blades …
But there had never been any question of money. ‘Mum,’ Tania began, ‘what can I do about Zac? He needs new skates.’
Caroline looked at her daughter. ‘New skates? Then … oh, I see.’ She sat back and gazed at Tania thoughtfully. ‘He can’t afford them, right? And you were wondering …’
‘It’s a silly idea,’ said Tania hastily. ‘He’s not your responsibility.’
‘Or yours,’ pointed out Caroline.
‘Well, that’s the thing,’ said Tania. ‘He kind of is, you know? He’s my skating partner. And he’s good, Mum. I think he could be really good, in time.’ She squirmed as she said, ‘I like skating with him. He makes me remember why I like skating so much. He’s helping me get over my – my problems. I’m getting better again, Mum.’
Her mother raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s wonderful. I’m so glad it’s working out after all.’
‘I have some savings, don’t I?’ Tania stared at her mug of tea. ‘Savings that are just mine, right?’
‘Right.’
‘And I can spend them on whatever I like?’
Caroline took a sip of tea. ‘We were hoping you might keep the money for the future. You know, for a house or a car or something like that.’
‘Can I take out a thousand pounds?’ asked Tania.
‘To buy Zac skates.’
Tania nodded. ‘I’d like to do something in return.’
Caroline was silent for a moment. Then a smile spread across her face. ‘You know, Tania, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you ask for something that isn’t for yourself.’
Tania blushed. ‘I know I haven’t always been very … Well, maybe I haven’t thought about others enough …’
Her mother rescued her. ‘It’s a very generous offer, you know. Very generous.’
‘I want to do it for Zac,’ mumbled Tania.
‘I know, and I think it’s extremely kind of you. Maybe Zac is good for you in other ways, not just your skating. And I am absolutely fine with it, if you’re sure.’
‘Really?’ Tania looked up.
Caroline smiled. ‘Really. It’s a very grown-up thing to do. And very unselfish. But, Tania, have you thought about it properly?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You can’t just give Zac all that money,’ said Caroline gently.
‘Why not?’
‘Think about it from his point of view,’ said Caroline. ‘Think how he would feel. He has very little money; he works hard for the bit he’s saved up. And here’s this girl, younger than him, who’s got enough money that she can just give away a thousand pounds! How would you feel?’
‘Embarrassed,’ said Tania. ‘I see what you mean.’
‘I don’t think he would accept it from you,’ said Caroline. ‘He’d feel humiliated, and like he has to pay it back in some way.’
‘But he doesn’t.’
‘I know that. It’s a present. But a thousand pounds is a very big present, Tania. I think you’re going to have to find some other way of giving him the money, so he doesn’t know it’s from you.’
‘How can I do that?’
Caroline smiled again. ‘I think you’re going to have to be a little devious …’
Chapter 13
Trying something new
‘SO IS IT tonight you get to hear your music?’ asked Libby as they carried their bags back to the lockers.
Tania nodded. ‘I love the moment I first hear it on the ice. As long as it’s good, that is. But Brock usually picks good stuff.’
‘I bet it’ll be something really romantic,’ said Libby, stuffing her English folder into her over-full locker.
‘You’ll never get that folder in.’
‘Yes, I will.’ Libby shoved, and the spine of the folder cracked, spilling paper all over the floor. ‘Rats.’
‘Besides, you need that folder for homework. We’ve got that essay on Jane Eyre, remember?’
Libby made a noise of annoyance. ‘Couldn’t you have said that five seconds earlier? Before I broke it?’
Tania laughed. ‘It’s not my fault you have the memory of a goldfish.’ She opened her own, tidily organized locker. ‘If you lined things up neatly, you’d get more in.’
‘I’m not tidy, you know that.’
‘I know.’ Tania grinned. ‘Besides, you were thinking about Scott Fanshawe.’
Libby’s jaw dropped. ‘How did you know that?’
Tania rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, Lib, I’m your best friend, remember? It’s so obvious!’
‘God, is it?’ Libby ran her hand through her hair distractedly. ‘He
hasn’t noticed, has he?’
‘Libby, the whole class has noticed.’ Tania slammed her locker shut and turned the key. ‘But you once told me that boys never notice these things, so maybe you’ve got away with it.’ Her eyes strayed across the hall for a moment.
Libby looked at her closely. ‘You were just thinking about Zac, weren’t you?’
‘No,’ Tania mumbled.
‘Ha!’ Libby leaned hard against her locker to get the door to shut. ‘Does he know you fancy him?’
‘I don’t.’
Libby turned to face her friend and sighed. ‘Tania, it’s OK to like a boy, you know. Why can’t you just admit it? You get this funny look on your face now when you talk about him. You even say his name differently than you used to. And I caught you doodling his name on your chemistry book earlier.’
Tania blushed hotly. ‘I did not.’
‘You used your ink eradicator on it afterwards,’ said Libby. ‘I saw you.’
Tania sagged. ‘All right. I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me crazy.’
‘You’re falling for him,’ said Libby in a matter-of-fact way.
‘But I can’t do that!’ Tania protested. ‘He’s my skating partner! It would be the worst thing ever.’
‘Why?’ asked Libby. The two of them started down the corridor. ‘I mean, isn’t there that Russian ice-skating couple? They’re married, aren’t they?’
‘Yes …’ said Tania reluctantly.
‘And there’s Melanie and the droolsome Fred from Dancing On Ice.’ Libby turned to look at her. ‘Honestly, what would be so bad?’
‘What if he doesn’t feel the same way?’ said Tania. ‘Or, even worse, what if he does feel the same way, and we start going out, and then we split up?’
Libby laughed. ‘You are so funny. Can’t you just concentrate on here and now? Besides …’ She frowned. ‘I thought you were only skating with Zac for this term? For the show. After that, you won’t be partners any more, will you? So it doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, it’s not as though it would affect your skating.’
Tania opened her mouth to reply, but the words didn’t come. Her heart had suddenly given an awful lurch. After that, you won’t be partners any more, will you? She had spent so much time with Zac recently that going back to skating alone seemed like another world.
‘You got time for a walk down the corner shop?’ asked Libby. ‘I need chocolate.’
‘Sorry,’ said Tania. ‘Got to get to the rink.’
Libby blew out her cheeks. ‘All right. I’ll come with you.’
‘What?’
‘I think it’s about time I saw this Zac in action, don’t you?’ Libby put her head on one side. ‘No, don’t argue. If you’re going all doolally over him, I’m going to have to check him out, aren’t I? How else can I help you with your boy issues?’
‘Right,’ said Brock, ‘are you ready?’
Tania glanced across the ice to where Libby was sitting on a side bench.
‘Your friend isn’t going to distract you, I hope,’ said Brock, frowning.
Libby waved enthusiastically, and Tania quickly looked away, embarrassed. ‘No, of course not.’
Zac opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. Does he know Libby’s only come to watch so she can see what he’s like? Tania thought frantically. No, he can’t know. But what would he say if he knew? Even worse, what would he say if he knew how I was feeling about him?
‘This music,’ said Zac, ‘it’d better not be something slushy.’
Brock grinned and hit ‘play’.
The introduction was bright and upbeat, and Tania frowned. She knew she’d heard it somewhere before. ‘Is this George Michael?’ said Zac.
‘Good guess,’ said Brock, as the song started. ‘Duetting with Aretha Franklin. Have a listen.’
Tania leaned against the barrier and looked out across the ice. She grinned when she heard the chorus. ‘Are you trying to tell us something, Brock?’
‘Who, me?’ said Brock innocently. ‘What, like keeping going when things look bad? When the mountain was high, you still believed?’
Zac was tapping his foot. ‘It’s good. Nice easy rhythm, not too manic.’
‘Or sloppy,’ suggested Tania.
‘Yeah.’
‘What’s it called?’ asked Tania.
‘“I Knew You Were Waiting”,’ said Zac immediately. ‘My mum’s got it on an album somewhere.’
‘I like it,’ said Tania. ‘I think it’s a grower.’ Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Libby dancing along whilst still sitting on her bench. She gave Tania the thumbs up.
‘Good,’ said Brock. ‘Then get out there on the ice and show me what you can do.’
‘Huh?’
But Zac was already off, skimming his way around the rink. ‘I think we should do some leaps,’ he shouted. ‘Sort of like this …’
Tania’s jaw dropped. ‘What was that?’
‘Side-split leap,’ said Brock calmly.
‘I don’t normally do things like that.’
Brock shrugged. ‘So? This partnership is all about trying something new.’
Tania turned to face him, curious. ‘And you don’t normally ask for suggestions.’
Brock met her gaze. ‘Zac’s good at choreography,’ he said simply. ‘Inventive – original. He may not have had the years of training you have, but he’s got lateral thinking.’
‘It’s not really a skating move,’ yelled Zac, using his hand to spin him from one foot to the other, ‘more of a skateboarding thing. But it might work on the ice.’
Tania shook her head in amazement. Skateboarding! On ice! But, she had to admit, that move did look kind of cool. ‘How do you do that?’ she called, skating over.
‘OK, watch the left hand,’ said Zac, and he demonstrated again. Libby cheered from her bench, and then clapped her hand over her mouth. Zac grinned at her.
It was a fun afternoon. Zac fell over more times than he could count. Tania laughed more than she had in weeks. Brock just watched and smiled. But amongst the joking around and the silly suggestions, a core of moves was growing and developing – moves far different from anything Tania had worked on before. Out went the straightforward crossovers and waltz jumps; in came cartwheels and double-swivelling stops. Libby went to the café at one point and bought muffins for everyone but was so fascinated by the session that she absent-mindedly ate them all, one after the other.
‘Don’t forget the potential of two bodies instead of one,’ Brock said at one point, and immediately, Zac threw himself into designing spins for the two of them. Tania felt astonished at his originality – there seemed to be no end to his ideas. Of course, some of them didn’t work; some of them were downright dangerous; but a few were pure genius. Tania felt a curious tingling in her stomach as she watched Zac try out a new spin. Every time she thought she’d got him figured out, he went and did something to surprise her. And he was talented too – how could she not have seen that to start with? Talent, brains and – yes – good looks. Almost too good to be true!
But he is real, Tania thought to herself. And he’s skating with me! A hot flush crept over her cheeks.
Zac called over, ‘Tania, you gotta try this. I can’t do it on my own.’ Tania heard Libby make an ‘ooh’ noise as she skated over, but ignored it.
She was wheezing with the effort when Brock finally called them over to finish. ‘That’s the hardest I’ve seen you both work,’ he told them.
‘It didn’t feel like hard work,’ said Zac, his eyes shining and his cheeks flushed, even though he was panting.
‘I think we’re going to have something really special for the show programme,’ said Brock, nodding firmly. ‘But it’s going to take a lot of polish to get it into shape.’
‘We can do it,’ said Tania. Zac grinned at her.
‘Good work, you two,’ said Brock. ‘Tania, you go and get changed.’ He held something out t
o Zac. ‘Zac, this came in the morning post for you. They just brought it over from the front desk.’
‘For me?’ Zac was surprised. ‘Cool, thanks.’
Tania headed to the locker room, almost oblivious to the waving from Libby across the rink. ‘Meet you upstairs!’ Libby was yelling, but all Tania could think was, He’s got the letter! Is this going to work? As she rounded the corner, she saw that Zac was tearing open the envelope …
In the locker room, Tania suddenly felt nervous. What if Zac saw through the plan? Her fingers shook as she undid the laces. Would he be pleased? Or would he feel offended? Would he be suspicious?
She was so absorbed in thought that she didn’t even hear Zac come in, and jumped a mile when she suddenly saw him standing in the doorway. ‘Hi!’ Her voice sounded absurdly squeaky. She coughed. ‘Uh – everything OK?’
Zac looked stunned, the letter still in his hand. ‘Yeah,’ he said in a strange voice. ‘Tania, you’ll never guess what.’
Tania did her best to look concerned. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘No …’ Zac blinked and frowned. ‘This letter – the one that came for me in the post? It’s … it’s offering me some money for my skating. I mean, it says I could be eligible for a grant.’
‘A grant?’ Tania tried to look as though she didn’t know what he was talking about. ‘What sort of grant?’
‘It says it’s for promising skaters. You can be nominated by anyone – the letter doesn’t say who put my name forward. Here, you read it.’ He thrust the letter at her.
Tania looked down at it, though she knew the words on the page by heart. After all, she and her mother had spent a whole evening composing it, and then Caroline had gone to print it on some official-looking paper. ‘Wow.’
‘I know.’ Zac still looked stunned. ‘You don’t think … it couldn’t be some kind of scam, could it? My parents are always getting things in the post saying they’ve won a new TV or something.’
‘Oh, no, I don’t think so,’ Tania said quickly. ‘After all, it’s from a proper organization, isn’t it?’
‘Is it? I’ve never heard of the Parchester Ice Association, have you?’
‘Oh yes,’ blurted Tania. ‘I know all about them. I’ve – er – had a grant myself in the past.’