Helena said, “But there was a distance between these three and the people around them. They kept to themselves — either because they didn’t trust the villagers, or the burden of their terrifying experiences did not allow them to speak freely.”
“Yes,” said Ivan, “people showered them with kindness but couldn’t reach them.”
The local government helped the Lamars to get jobs and assistance. The federal government helped countless victims of war to try and rebuild their lives. And yet, no matter what was done for these people, there was very little willpower left in them to go on at that time. Needless to say, there were many other families of similar circumstances trying to survive their losses.
Yes, you are happy to be alive . . . but there is that constant reminder of death that follows you every step of the way and in every waking hour. How does one go on?
Tom Lamar, the oldest, seemed quiet and very serious but he coped well as he tried his best to protect his younger sister Nina and his baby brother John. Tom ended up marrying a wonderful girl and in later years he became the local mayor. He gained a lot of respect from people far and wide.
Nina remained shy and unable to trust anybody. Who could blame her? These people knew who had betrayed them, but to prove it was another story. One could hardly say hello to her. She never put it in words but she preferred to be left alone. Eventually, her wish was granted. Who knows what these people went through during the war and how severe their ordeal may have been? Nina enjoyed reading and her work but she stayed as mysterious as the house she lived in.
Young John, however, was another story. He was unable or unwilling to trust, to work, to communicate, but most of all, to smile again. He was the baby in the family. For him to come home to an empty house without the rest of the family was to come to an empty shell. The meaning of life simply never returned to him. The motorcycle that he bought and rode simply said it all. The body language of his actions on that bike told a story that wasn’t a pretty one. No one approved of his riding that machine. He could easily have killed someone. He rode that bike in defiance, hurting himself at times, drunk, and crashing into things like fences. His brother had a lot to say about that, but nothing helped. John had decided that nobody was ever going to be his friend again. The whole world was his enemy.
None of them ever spoke of their experience during their time in the concentration camp — at least not publicly; and, out of respect for their privacy, nobody ever asked about it. Their secret was their own to keep.
The fact that the Russians liberated the country, which was by now to be called Yugoslavia, meant that it now automatically became a communist country.
The partisans, led by “Marshal Tito,” with the help of other groups managed to form a new country with Tito as their leader.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
The Gambler
DARKO AND VERA WERE MARRIED shortly after the war ended. This special occasion was quite elaborate.
“I can’t believe our firstborn is getting married,” said Lucille just before the wedding, with tears running down her face. She held Mark’s hands, wanting to know how he felt. “Do you remember how we dreamed of this when we were engaged? How we wished to have children?”
“Yes, you silly woman! How could I have forgotten? Anyway, you wouldn’t let me,” he teased her.
“Look at Uncle Drago, in tears. He is as excited as we are,” Helena pointed out.
“This could as well be my Ivana, don’t you think?” Ivan, who was Darko’s best man, was now showing off. He was so happy that Darko had asked him to be his best man, that he’d had a hard time concentrating on his work for quite some time. He was mostly proud to do this for Lucille.
The Zantons owned the appropriate horse and carriage outfit for occasions like this. Vera looked beautiful in her long white gown with all the accessories to match. Her gown had a strong resemblance to her mother’s wedding gown; however, it was not Lucille’s. Vera had to have her own new gown.
Darko’s Aunt Bojka, who lived far away, came to the wedding. She was Darko’s mother’s sister and chose not to have anything to do with her brother-in-law after her sister died. She, therefore, hardly knew Darko, but had a special fondness for him. She was a woman of means and she presented Vera with an expensive gold bracelet and a mink coat, which she promptly draped over Vera’s shoulders and insisted that she wear it at her wedding. The important part of it was that it brought Darko and her back together. Occasions like that often bring good results to many people.
“I worry about these two. Darko is much too worldly for Vera. She is so naïve and inexperienced, she may get hurt. And yet, there was nothing I could tell her that would make a difference,” Lucille said.
“I know. She is one stubborn girl. I wonder if she is capable of being ahead of the game with this guy. He seems to be in charge of his own emotions, but what about Vera? If she thinks that she can manipulate this young man, she is terribly wrong. Darko will not fall for it.” Mark worried for her.
“That is one handsome feller,” Ivan commented. “I can see why Vera is so infatuated with him. He seems all right, but there is just that one thing that I can’t put my finger on. He comes from another world, somehow — a world we aren’t familiar with.”
“You see, there is another one who thinks of Darko as ‘all right’ because of his charm and charisma, but there is a mystery about him. I can’t say that I dislike him; I just don’t trust him. Or is it that I don’t trust our daughter?” Now Lucille was getting really worried about the whole thing.
“So what do you want me to do now?” Mark protested. “Give them a chance to work things out. They can only do it if we all stay out of their way and don’t interfere.”
Vera soon found out that she wasn’t able to fit into Darko’s world and/or into his mind.
“Mom, I can’t seem to fit into Darko’s life. I am a total obstacle to him. The way I see it, I am standing in the way of his progress — ”
“What kind of progress are you talking about?” her mother inquired. “What is so different about his life that you have no room in it? Is he being mean to you?”
“It’s not that. He has issues that date back to when he was a little boy. He is holding so much inside and he is unable to let it go. He is a gambler, but I think he gambles to take his mind off things that bother him.”
“Can you not get him to talk about it?”
“No, Mom, he refuses to elaborate on his private life. He resents me asking about it.”
“Well, I know a bit about it. I heard it from people who knew his mother . . . We all know that his father, Stefan, was once an organist in Gomilka. During that time, he was also unfaithful to his wife, who chased him all over town trying to find out about the affair. During that time she became ill with pneumonia and died as a result. Stefan married Olga shortly after that and they had Tomas.”
“I know about Tomas. Darko told me about him some time ago, when he decided to risk his life to save Tomas from a German prison during the war. He loves his brother.” Vera was happy to say that.
“Does he say anything else — such as how he feels about his father?” Lucille asked.
“Remember when Stefan used to come here to visit Darko?”
“Yes — what about it?”
“Those were hard times for the two of them, on account of Darko’s resentment toward his father.”
“I remember noticing a lot of tension, yes.”
“Mom, there is more. Darko has a lot of bad habits. I know, Mom, you want to say: so do I.” At this point, Vera was crying and couldn’t stop. This scared Lucille.
“I knew that there had to be a double life or something like that, because he seemed to be too good to be true. Nobody is so good-looking and perfect at the same time. So, what is it?” Lucille demanded.
There are many sides to Darko. Before the war, his fath
er helped him get established in his own business, simply out of guilt. Then, when the Germans forced him out of business, he lost all his hope of independence. First of all, he hardly expected to survive the war. So what he did, like many others, was to indulge in some pretty wild behaviour at times. There were always plenty of women available, and with his looks, he hardly had to ask for sex. It was offered to him in plentiful measures.
“We argue all the time. He wanted a virgin but didn’t deserve one. He thinks nothing of having a night out gambling away and not coming home, while I sit at home and suffer. I am sure that he has women around at the same time. He thinks that I am too naïve to read between the lines.”
As time went by, Lucille saw the unhappiness in Vera’s eyes, and it worried her to the point of losing sleep over it. She knew that Vera had always been headstrong. She was “always right” — and she was bossy. So there was a possibility that she asked for some of the trouble in her marriage.
“I don’t suppose there is any point in telling you ‘I told you so,’ considering his past?”
“I know, Mom, I haven’t forgotten about that. I think I was trying to prove a point to everybody — how lucky I was to get such a handsome husband.”
One day, Vera appeared on their doorstep, telling them that she was finished with Darko; Lucille promptly slapped her face and told her: “You have made your bed and now you must sleep in it.”
Lucille said to Mark, “I felt bad about doing that, but if it worked, it will be worth the try.” She was trying to get Mark’s approval on what she had just done. “Mark, say something!”
“I feel sick to my stomach but if it works, it will prove she is being unreasonable — or that he is really being totally unfair to her. Just wait and see what happens next. This will make her or break her. I know how stubborn she can be, but she is still our daughter.”
However, bad things continued. There were other women and nights away from home, as well as more gambling. The fact that they lived far away from home suited Darko perfectly. But Vera was losing her mind over the whole unfair business. Many times, he was unable to work for loss of sleep while gambling, drinking, womanizing, and more.
“Just so you know: Darko came home last Thursday with a pile of money after a few days of gambling. I got brave and burned the whole pile of it. I told him I refuse to live off money that is acquired by gambling and I mean it. So you can think what you will, but I have had enough of it.”
“So what happened then?” Lucille asked.
“He left and didn’t return till much later. When he returned, I told him, we have a daughter, and she will not be eating off gambling, either. Darko left again.” She was crying. She had come with the little one.
“Dare we ask what happened next?” Lucille said.
“Later that night, a friend of ours came looking for him, saying he was seriously worried about him. I told him what had transpired while he was here, and Gregor went looking for him. I was a bit puzzled about that. Gregor found him hanging from his own belt in a nearby barn. He had that greyish-blue look of suffocation about him. His friend found him in the nick of time.”
“Is he going to be all right? Not that I care much about him anymore, but he is a human being.”
“Right now, he is not only ill but embarrassed, as well. It won’t last.”
For a while after the incident, things seemed fine — until the next woman wrapped herself around him. He just couldn’t resist them.
“I refuse to get involved, because things get worse if and when others interfere,” Mark insisted.
“I often regret sending her back to Darko that day she came for help,” Lucille confessed.
“And I still think you did the right thing,” Mark backed her up. “You have a knack for doing things that matter, when the time is right. But you must not expect miracles.”
Then came a day when Darko was on a three-day gambling binge in a restaurant near the Zantons’ place. He was losing money and jewellery.
“Hey, Tomas, you want to buy your brother’s jewellery back? He lost it gambling,” a guy said. At first, Tomas wondered if the guy was kidding. “Do you want it or not?”
“Brother or no brother, I have had enough of this!” Tom grabbed the jewellery, punched the guy in the face hard enough to drop him, and left. He knew that Vera was at the Zantons’ place and he told her and her parents what had just happened.
In the meantime, Darko had slipped out through the back and told no one where he was going.
“Don’t you worry; I know exactly where to find him.”
He was right. Darko had gone to sleep it off at the Zantons’ in the hay. Having been a partisan himself, Tomas had no problem finding his brother. The two of them had slept there often during the war. “I am taking him home and I am not telling him that I have the jewellery.”
Lucille decided to act. She called to John, Mark’s right-hand man, “John, get me a horse and wagon. I am going on a mission.” Then, to herself, There has to be a way to handle this idiot who is destroying their lives. She went on her way, leaving Vera and the little one behind. When she reached their place she, without a word, headed straight for the bedroom. And there was Darko, by now feeling quite safe. She proceeded beating him on the head and anywhere she could get her hands on.
Darko was so astonished at this he had no idea what to say or do.
“Mom, stop, please stop!” Whether he had no energy for self-defence at this point, or he decided not to protect himself, is totally unclear. He was by now sick in more ways than one. He had acquired an ulcer during the war, which haunted him for many years after.
Yet somehow, Darko loved and respected Lucille. He claimed that she was the only one who cared enough for him to hit him instead of abandoning him, the way he had been abandoned many times before by others. He always joked that he had adopted her as his mother.
“I felt compelled to do something to this man for hurting my daughter so much for so long. They have two children, and their father refuses to grow up,” she told Tomas. “He has allowed his addiction to gambling to take over their lives.”
Darko did not stop gambling completely, but there were no more drastic incidents after that. He still considered Vera to be a nag but he handled things differently after she burned his pile of money.
Vera was most definitely narrow-minded. Had she been more self-assured, they could have had a better life; that is exactly what her parents meant, when they opposed the marriage in the first place . . . Had she been able to play the wife of a philanderer and maybe match some of his behaviour with a payback, he just might have learned a lesson or two . . . or, had she been wise and/or strong enough to rise above the indignities and do her own thing. But instead, Vera was naïve, honest, bitter, and, above all, hurt beyond repair.
Ivan said, “Lucille, I am truly proud of you for your intervention in Vera and Darko’s situation. I hope that I will never have to do anything like that — I don’t think I have the patience or the will to do that.”
“Yes, you would, Ivan; you are my brother and don’t you forget it.”
Once Darko settled down to a minimum of gambling, he and Mark became quite close. He joined Mark at the vineyard on many occasions. They would arrive back to the house, tipsy. They would arrive, arms around each other’s shoulders (perhaps for support) and singing all the way home. They had a special song that belonged to them and it definitely suited them both.
“You are the father I never had,” Darko would say to Mark.
Darko had never forgiven his father for betraying his mother, yet he turned around and did the very same thing to Vera, who proved that she truly was a Zanton and could overcome anything. Fidelity is a blessed thing and something to cherish, as a marriage can hardly withstand the roadblocks in everyday life without it. Even the suspicion of it can wreak devastating consequences.
CHAPTER TWENTY-
NINE
A Facelift
THE ZANTON’S HOUSE HAD SURVIVED TWO WORLD WARS. The stone walls on the south end of it were destined to stay for many years, or even generations to come.
Lucille had an idea. “We have to do something with this house. It needs a facelift, if not more, don’t you think?”
“First of all, it would take a lot of money and plenty of arguments from the family,” Mark replied.
“Mark, I think we can do this, and we, of all people, deserve a new beginning. We have the resources and, with added willpower, we can update the log end of the house. I think it’s time to go forward.” Lucille was pleading with her husband. “The log would go and be replaced with modern brick.”
Too bad they hadn’t thought of this when the Zanton ancestors actually produced bricks on their own property. It had been the family business for years; but this was now and it was to be the next major project.
“We can certainly give it a try. A lot of planning will be required, and you know it as well as I do . . .”
“First, we should summon the family to a meeting, so that no one can later say they didn’t know anything about it.” Lucille was being cautious. She’d had enough experience in dealing with the Zanton family in the past to know better.
“You are right. I want Uncle Drago present, as well. Having Ivan present might be a good idea for support. He can be quite persuasive, as you know. Am I right?” Mark winked at his wife, and then squeezed her against him lovingly.
The following Sunday, they all gathered around the table, and Mark presented the idea to them. “This was Lucille’s idea and it was also her idea to summon all of you for consultation. We don’t want to offend anyone. We are a family.”
At first, there was a long silence; and then Ivan jokingly removed himself, taking Bruno (the dog) with him. Everybody laughed. He was quite known for those moves. Ivan never minded being the target and being laughed at, if it meant that he was helping.
A Touch of Light Page 23