I went back to it, and he managed to get a little leverage by pulling his elbows underneath himself and fucking back onto my mouth. He was writhing, letting out broken cries each time I pressed inside.
I released one of his butt cheeks and spanked it hard. His back arched, his head cranking back like he’d been socked.
“Connor,” he breathed. I spanked him again. “Oh, fuck. That’s going to make me come if you don’t stop.”
“Can I fuck you now?”
“God, yes.”
I sat up, and fumbled with the condom, finally getting it on correctly. Then I popped the lube open and dribbled it over my fingers. Touching the slickness to his hole filled me with nerves again. This was really about to happen.
What if I screwed it up?
“You’ve prepped me enough,” he gritted out. “Like to feel it.”
“Okay.” I transferred the lube to my cock, then wiped my hand off on the towel. “Tell me what to do. Coach me through it.”
“Uhmm.” He cleared his throat and glanced back at me. “Okay, hold me down, and push in slowly.”
It took me a couple tries, but I eventually breached him without slipping away. I hadn’t been lying earlier. I didn’t think having sex like this was some huge deal. I wanted it a lot, sure, but I didn’t expect to feel different after this. Putting my dick in someone wouldn’t make me fall in love with them. But I also hadn’t anticipated that it would be quite so amazing.
Travis was so hot and tight, his muscles molding around me, and I couldn’t stop staring at where my body disappeared into his. Travis’s back flexed as I worked my way inside, and seeing, hell, feeling, his reactions was mind-blowing.
If I hadn’t come already, this would have been the shortest fuck ever.
“All of it, Connor.” Travis’s voice was choked and gritty.
I thrust in until I was balls deep. My heart hammered in my ears, and blood throbbed in my fingertips. He clenched around me, and I couldn’t believe I was fucking someone as amazing and sexy as Travis. I couldn’t believe I was making him feel good.
God, I hoped I was making him feel good.
I held the back of his neck to the bed with one hand and traced a line down his spine, touching every vertebra with the other. He shivered.
“This okay?”
“Yes. But it would be better if you moved, babe. You know, like if you fucked me.”
“You didn’t tell me to do that,” I said, humor slipping into my voice.
He laughed, and it echoed through my body, like we were connected everywhere, even places that weren’t physical. I imagined his laugh slipping inside me and filling me with neon light, so bright it would be impossible to ignore. Which was a pretty fucking fanciful thing to imagine during my first time. But now that the image was in my head, I couldn’t unsee it. I felt lit from the inside out.
“Move, please. Fuck me.”
I started slow and screwed into him with deep thrusts. He cried out, and his bound hands scrabbled against the towel underneath him.
“That’s good, Connor. Oh, God. Tilt your hips down a little. Yes! Right there. Don’t stop.”
His body jerked back against me as he humped the mattress.
“Don’t come,” I whispered.
“Why not? You feel good.”
“I’ll let you come after I spank you. You earned it, remember?”
“Fuck yes. Okay. Pull me onto my knees then.”
I hitched him onto his elbows and knees, and shafted into him in long, measured strokes. Sweat slicked my skin, and I touched as much of him as I could, my hands rough and greedy. Trying to pour all my affection into him. I spanked him once, and his ass clasped me so tightly, my eyes rolled back. I spanked him, again and again, until I was practically falling apart.
“I’m close, Trav.”
“Harder. Gimme.”
God, his mouth. His words.
My balls drew up and tightened. Stars burst behind my eyelids.
The orgasm hit me like a bomb—ringing ears and bright lights and so much heat. Pleasure ripped through me in strong pulses, stealing my breath, my voice, my mind.
I’d never felt anything so incredible.
Sex was amazing.
When I opened my eyes, I was plastered to Travis’s back. He was holding me up.
I rolled off him. “Don’t move.” After a quick scan, I found a trashcan and threw the condom away. His breath was leaving him in shuddering gusts. I rubbed a hand over his ass.
“Connor,” he said, arching his ass higher. “Please.”
God, I loved the way he said my name, like he couldn’t wait to wrap his tongue around all the vowels and consonants.
“What do you need, sweetheart?” My heart jumped into my throat at the endearment, but it only made him moan louder and squirm. “Do I need to untie you?”
“No, please don’t. Spank me first.”
I kneeled beside him and kneaded his muscles, feeling the heat beneath his skin rise to meet my palms. “How many do you want? You earned fifteen during our wagers, but I’ve given you a lot already.”
“Ten,” he said. “A paddle for the last five.”
“A paddle?” My voice squeaked.
“There’s one in the top drawer of my dresser.”
“Okay.” I could do this. I could keep my cool at the thought of paddling him. I opened his top drawer. “Uh, which one?”
I ran my hand over a fraternity paddle. It had Greek letters on it. That would hurt like a motherfucker. There was also one covered in leather and a heavy one with SLUT etched into the blade.
“The ping-pong paddle.”
I pulled it out. It wasn’t a real ping-pong paddle, but shaped like one. It had fleece covering one side and soft, pink silicone on the other. It was the least intimidating of the bunch.
I crawled back onto the bed and pressed a kiss to the small of his back. The tension in his muscles melted under my lips, so I kept kissing him, all the way up to the back of his neck. He turned his head and I caught the edge of his lips with a quick peck.
“Are you ready?”
He nodded, his expression open and soft. “I want this so bad.”
His words were still echoing in my ears after the sound of my palm smacking his ass boomed through the room.
“One,” he whispered, his voice tight.
Shit. He was going to count? That was far hotter than I ever could have imagined.
Travis’s eyes were closed, his head resting on his forearms. When I connected with his ass, he cried out and whimpered the count.
I spanked him again, right across the seam of his ass, and his body clenched up before relaxing.
“Three.”
With my left hand, I touched his asshole, my fingertips slipping through the leftover lube from our fuck. God, hot. I pressed inside.
“Oh, Travis. You feel amazing.” A huge shiver wracked him, and the slick clasp of his body around my digits sent a rush through me. I was making him feel good. It was all I could ever ask for. I smacked his right butt cheek with my free hand, and he released a thin, choked off shout.
His back was rising and falling with every breath, and he wrapped his fists around the scarf until it was pulled taut.
“Connor, don’t stop,” he begged.
“What number was that?”
“Oh. Four.”
I couldn’t hold back my smile. I spanked him one more time before pulling out my fingers and picking up the paddle.
“You ready for this?”
“Yes. Use the silicone side. It hurts better.”
Good Lord, he was going to kill me.
I palmed the paddle, getting a feel for its weight in my hand. Then, before I could chicken out, I swung. The sound of it connecting with his round ass was sharp and loud. Much louder than my hand. And his gasp, followed by a sobbed, “Six,” made blood thunder in my ears and the room sharpen around me.
“You okay?” I asked. “Tell me to stop if you’re not.”
“Harder please harder, Connor.”
Travis really did hold my key. Because his voice, the heat under his skin, the needy way he pushed back into my hands, into the paddle—those were the notches that made all the pins and tumblers inside me click into place.
After seven, Travis started his frantic babbling, and I slowed down to hear his words.
“Eight. You’re so good at this, Connor. I can’t believe it’s so good. And I love being your first. I love that I’m the first person you’ve done this with. The first person you’ve fucked . . . Spanked.”
I spanked him again, rewarding him for opening up and letting loose his words. The fact that he hadn’t erased my bisexuality—using “person” instead of “man”—even when he was high on sensation, made me want to cover him in bites and kisses.
“Nine. One more. Please, one more. Hard. I want to feel you for days.”
I brought the paddle down on him one last time, close to the tops of his thighs, because he cried out louder when I got him there.
He moaned, “Ten,” then fell flat on his stomach. I crawled up the bed to untie his hands, then gathered him into my arms. I arranged him sideways on my lap, almost like I was cradling him. He hissed when his butt settled on my legs, but he didn’t flinch or try to squirm away. I examined his wrists, but they didn’t bear any marks.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
He nodded, his lips parted and his eyelashes starred with unshed tears. His gaze was hazy and full of lust.
“That was so perfect, Connor.” He wrapped his arms around my neck.
“Good.” I kissed over his cheekbones, down his nose, and focused on his lips. He sighed, and I delved into his mouth gently. He stayed passive, letting me kiss him deeply. When I pulled back, he trembled.
“Please,” he whispered.
“I’m going to make you feel amazing.” I hitched him closer to my body and managed to wrap one arm around his waist.
His groan echoed through the room, filling the silence left by his earlier frantic cries and the sound of the paddle hitting flesh.
I dumped lube over both of my hands, thankful for the towel. After a gentle nudge to his legs, he bent his knees, planting his feet on the bed. I pushed my fingers back inside his hole.
His mouth dropped open, and I fingered him, searching for the right angle, until his head hitched back and he gasped, “There.”
I was very good at following directions.
I grabbed his cock with my other hand. I wanted to go slow, to make him feel good for as long as possible. To shower him in sweetness and pleasure. But he was wound up and riding the high of being spanked. His dick throbbed in my hand as I stroked it slowly, covering it with slick.
“Not gonna last,” he said, his voice torn to pieces. My heart squeezed when he buried his face in my neck, all cuddly and sweet. Falling apart in my arms.
I massaged him from the inside, pressing on those nerves that made his whole body shake, and jerked him off, deliberate and steady, giving his fat cockhead attention each time my fist crested it. It was sloppy. Super wet and slick from the lube and his pre-come. Messy, and it made him go wild under my hands.
His ass tightened around my fingers, all the muscles in his body tensing. He whined, trying to hide the noise against my shoulder.
“Let go. I’ve got you.”
His barely there gasp was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard, and he’d made a soundtrack of sexy noises tonight. I stroked him through his orgasm, his body pulsing around my fingers and his come spurting all over both of us.
Once the tension in his body dissipated, I pulled my fingers out and wiped both of my hands on the towel underneath us. They were still slightly tacky.
He was wrapped around me, his forehead making a home against my neck. “Is it cuddle time now?” he asked. “Or do we have more wagers to work through?”
“I think we’re done for the night. I’m going to get you a wet washrag and lotion for your ass. I’ll be right back.”
He pressed an open-mouthed kiss below my ear. “Thank you.”
I put my underwear and jeans back on and made my way to the one bathroom in Travis’s house. After washing up, I grabbed a washrag and Travis’s sweet-smelling lotion. Then I walked into the living room to retrieve my laptop.
Joel and Paulie were doing homework on the couch. I stared at them for a second, very aware of my half-nakedness and how loud Travis and I had been. In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t thought of anyone but Travis.
They both glanced up. A delighted smile flashed across Paulie’s face.
“Uh, hi,” I said.
“Well hello, Connor Blume,” Paulie said. “Pleasant evening?”
“Yes. I’m just going to, you know.” I gestured awkwardly back toward Travis’s room after picking up my laptop.
“Oh yeah. We know,” Paulie said, and my whole face caught fire. “You’re very good with your . . . spreadsheets.”
Well, that was what I got for not password-protecting my laptop.
I was pretty sure he was teasing me in a friendly way, but I’d never been great at being teased in any way. Except when Travis did it.
“Paulie,” Joel whispered. He stared somewhere in the vicinity of my bare shoulder. “Sorry, Connor. Your computer was open when we got here. It was hard not to see.”
“It’s fine. My fault.” I took a step backward. Then another. Trying to leave this situation with some grace.
Travis’s bedroom door banged open, and he thundered into the room in his boxers. Neither Joel nor Paulie seemed shocked by his bare skin all on display, but it made me blush more. At least he’d wiped the come off his body.
“Paulie McPherson,” Travis snapped. “Stop being a prick.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him.
Oh. He was coming to my rescue. Relief and a giddy dizziness rushed over me.
Paulie bit his lip on a smile. He seemed both contrite and incredibly pleased by Travis’s sudden appearance. “You’re right. I’m sorry for teasing you, Connor.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m sorry we were loud.”
Travis laughed and pushed me toward his room. “Don’t worry. They’re used to it.”
My whole body tensed.
Why did hearing that feel so horrible?
Chapter Twelve
TRAVIS
Connor had shut down, and I could have wrung Paulie’s neck. Anything that made Connor go from being alight with emotion and sweet words and strong hands to Mr. Ice Sculpture made me see red.
I grabbed the washrag from him and shed my boxers. It had not been fun putting those on when I was covered in lube. I washed myself off as best I could and threw the washrag and the towel from the bed into the hamper.
“I guess I should go,” Connor said. His voice was flat, and he was fidgeting by my desk, all closed off and bleak-faced.
“What the fuck?” I put my glasses on, crawled back into bed naked, and pulled the comforter over me. “That is not how this is supposed to go. We agreed on cuddling after fooling around.”
“But it’s not like you need it. You said you don’t need it.”
He was toying with the waistband of his jeans. What had gotten into him?
“I’m sorry about Paulie and Joel. Paulie’s a tease. He wouldn’t be that way if he didn’t like you, but I’ll talk to him about it. You don’t like being teased, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He scowled. “You’re good at reading people.”
I liked to think I was getting good at reading him. “Not always. I have no idea why you’re mad at me right now, and I’m not sure what to say to get you back into bed with me.”
“I’m not mad at you. But I don’t want to force you to deal with the caretaking stuff if you’re not interested.”
Uh, I was very interested. In fact, if he walked out of this room without at least giving me a fucking hug all the scary emotions in me would burst forth and I’d do something out of the ordinary
. Like cry.
“You’re wrong. I do want it.”
“But you don’t normally?”
An alarm bell started ringing in my head, telling me not to answer.
For once, I ignored it. “No. I don’t. But with you, I do.”
That finally got him stripping his jeans off and moving back toward the bed. I wanted to fist pump. He pulled the covers down and asked me to roll over. He rubbed lotion onto my cheeks and legs, and I turned to goo. His hands were one of my favorite parts of him—his fingers, his palms, the rough strokes of his thumbs against my skin.
He’d spanked me enough times for the lotion to be a piece of our routine. He loved this part. And I loved that contrast between the bright, amped gleam in his eyes when he spanked me and the soft, melty sheen when he took care of me afterward. He’d even told me that he’d bought my eucalyptus lotion to keep at his own apartment, which, now that I thought about it, was the act of a boyfriend, not a fuck buddy.
Shit, I was so fucking this up.
Once he was done slathering me in lotion, I said, “You’re jealous.” He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “You’re jealous because I made that joke about Paulie and Joel being used to hearing me have sex.”
“So? That seems like a perfectly normal reaction after we’ve just had sex.”
I cupped his jaw. Our no-strings-attached hooking up was spiraling out of control faster than I could handle, and it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I’d all but admitted I wanted to be his and his alone while he’d been spanking me.
“It is normal, and I’m sorry.” I brushed my thumb over his eyebrow. It looked brown in the lowlights of my bedroom, but in the sun, the strands shone brassy red. “I think it’s important that after a night like tonight, where it was kind of intense, that we have a quick gut check, you know?”
“No. I don’t know.” He folded in on himself, shutting down, like a card table being broken down and shoved into a closet.
“I want to make sure we’re still on the same page. I love hanging out with you, but I don’t want a boyfriend. Not with graduation so close. And not with our plans taking us so far away from each other.”
It physically hurt to say that, but I needed to for both of our sakes. I should have spelled it out weeks ago. We didn’t have a future. Hell, we didn’t have three months. It would be easy to fall into a relationship with Connor. He was hot and sweet and just the right side of rough in the sack, but he came with baggage.
Clean Break Page 13