I can’t die here…I have two people counting on me to win this fight. They can’t survive without me, which means I can’t give up!
Thinking about my unborn children gave me a burst of strength, and I dug my paws into the ground, hoping to get some kind of traction. When I stopped skidding in the blood pooled at my feet, I turned around, slamming my body against the nearest tree. The force of the impact knocked Ilene from my back. She flew across the clearing, taking a chunk of flesh from my neck with her. The pain was unbearable, and I lost my hold on my wolf form.
Ilene was breathing as harshly as I was, and she struggled to get to her feet. I knew from experience that her ribs were at least bruised, but were more likely broken and in the process of healing. And until they healed, she wouldn’t be able to catch her breath and attack me again. Does it matter that she’s temporarily stopped? I don’t have the strength to shift back and fight anymore. I’m in the middle of the woods naked, covered in blood, and ready to give birth. All she has to do is bide her time, and I’m a goner. Unless I can outsmart her…
A crazy plan began to form in my mind as I clutched my stomach and began to slowly make my way into position. If my plan worked, I might be able to walk from this forest alive. I might be able to make it back home and see Quinten and Ray again. But if my plan worked, Ilene would never leave this forest alive…
Ilene watched me stumble into place in front of the cliff’s edge with wary eyes. She had to know that I was almost out of strength, but she knew I would never give up until I was dead. She was waiting for me to do something stupid and rash; she didn’t think I could form an actual plan. “It doesn’t matter what you do now, Ilene,” I said, panting heavily from a mixture of pain and exhaustion. I was naked and covered in blood. My shoulder, neck, and face still bled profusely. “No matter what you do now, I promise you, I will always be Dad’s favorite. And nothing you can do will ever change that or make it any less true…”
Like I knew she would, Ilene rushed blindly at me, too angry to even form a plan. I dodged her attack and stumbled in the dirt, going down hard on one side as she leapt at me, baring her fangs in a vicious snarl. Turning over onto my back, I managed to get my feet under her just as she came down on me, and using the last of my strength, I shoved up as hard as I could. She sailed over me, rolling into the dirt near the cliff, before tumbling over the edge with a yelp.
“Alanna!”
I crawled to the ledge on my hands and knees and peered over the edge. Naked and no longer in her wolf form, Ilene clung to the face of the cliff a few hundred feet above the ground; if she fell from that height, she was a goner and even her rapid healing wouldn’t save her life. Ilene was pressed up against the rocks, and she clutched a jutting rock for dear life. Her face was buried in the rock, but I knew she was terrified and crying because her entire body shook. Slowly, she looked up at me with a tear-streaked face. “Alanna…”
The sight of her hanging there tugged at my heart. I wasn’t sure what to do. She had just tried to kill me, and she would probably try to kill me again if given the chance, but she was still my baby sister. And even though I had told Ray I would take care of it when the time came, I wasn’t sure if I could just let her die like this. When I looked at her, I didn’t see the monster she had become. Instead, all I saw was a young girl who was frightened and alone, begging me to save her.
She’ll try to kill me if I save her, and I don’t have the strength to fight her off anymore. But I can’t just leave her here to die. That would be murder… I turned on my side, careful to keep from crushing my stomach, and I extended a hand out to her. “Grab hold, Ilene. I’ll pull you up. Hurry, before you slip and fall.” She loosened her grip with one hand, and it slowly inched up the face of the rocky cliff until her fingertips brushed mine. “Just a little closer,” I said, lowering myself as far as I could go without losing my balance and plummeting over the edge.
She pushed herself up with her other arm, putting her within reach of my hand. Her hand slid up past mine, and her fingers closed around my wrist. Her nails dug into the flesh deep enough to draw blood, and I hissed in pain. Her eyes hardened and she slowly smiled. “I knew you would never just let me die. You’re too good and pure for that.” Planting her feet deep in the rocky cracks, she yanked back, trying to pull me from the edge.
I dug my knees into the dirt to keep from falling to my death on the rocks below. I tried to shake Ilene off of me, but she dug her nails even deeper into my arm, clinging to me for dear life now. “Ilene, what are you doing?” I asked, planting my free hand in the grass to help give me some more leverage. “You’ll pull us both over the edge!”
“As long as you go with me, I don’t really care,” she hissed. She narrowed her eyes in hatred. “I’ll survive the fall, but you and your bastard children won’t!” She yanked again, and I slid forward another inch. My knees were dangerously close to the edge, and I knew that if she could get me far enough over, my massive stomach would cause me to fall the rest of the way.
“Ilene, you’re crazy,” I hissed, trying to pull back away from the ledge. “You’ll never survive the fall. We’re hard to kill, but it’s not impossible! Ilene, if you fall, you’ll break your spine on impact, and your insides will implode or something. Think about what you’re doing!” I snapped, wrapping my free hand around her fingers. My best bet for staying alive was probably to pry her fingers loose and let her fall. She was completely beyond saving, and I never should have risked my life trying.
“I know what I’m doing!” she screamed, digging her nails in further. “I’m proving to Roger how much I love him! I’m proving that I’m smarter than you,” she said, planting her feet deeper into the face of the cliff. As she worked to position herself, I slipped my hand under her fingers, slowly working to loosen them so she wouldn’t notice. There was only one way she was hoping to survive this, and it would be to keep as close to the face of the cliffs as she could. Once I was over the edge and falling to my death, she would grab hold of the rocks and climb her way back up. I had to make sure she wasn’t able to do that.
“I’m going to kill you now, Alanna. I’m going to kill you, and then I’m going back to Roger, and he and I will finally be rid of you. We can begin our lives together, without having to obsess over you and your bastard children!”
She yanked back as I ripped her fingers away from my wrist and I slid easily out of her grasp. She gave a startled gasp as she fell back away from the edge of the cliff and began to fall. Even as she reached out to grab hold of something, I knew she was too far away. Without the weight of my body to keep her anchored close to the face of the cliff, she wouldn’t be able to catch herself. She reached out to try anyways, and her fingertips just barely brushed the rock, but she wasn’t able to get a good enough grip to keep herself from plummeting to her death on the rocks below. She had time for only one scream, which cut off abruptly.
I had closed my eyes just before she hit the rocks. The sound of the impact resonated in my head over and over again, and I fought to push back the rising hysteria that would soon take over. While I battled to slow down my harsh breathing, I tried to block the sound of Ilene’s body hitting the ground from my mind forever. I clenched my hands so hard the nails tore into the flesh of my palms, drawing blood that stained the grass beside me. I bit my lip to keep from screaming in rage, or possibly sorrow.
There were a hundred different emotions all swirling around my mind right now, and I wasn’t sure if I could separate them all and deal with them separately. First and foremost was anger that I had been driven to do something so unforgivable, drastic, and haunting. Next came grief for the loss of my sister. Even though she had turned into a monster that would have killed me without hesitation, she had still been family. She had still been blood. She had still been that little girl that used to beg Ray to sing to her when she was feeling sad.
And now she was nothing but a corpse lying at the bottom of a cliff. She would be nothing more than a distant memor
y. And no matter how long I lived, her screams and the sound Ilene’s body made as she hit the ground would haunt my every step. I had never killed anyone unless it was in self-defense or for the preservation of my family, friends, and my unborn children, but Ilene was the first person I had ever killed that I had some kind of connection to. She wasn’t some stranger that was on the wrong side or in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I killed the little girl that used to look up to me…I thought to myself. Even though I fought to keep it from happening, tears streamed down my face, and it became suddenly hard to breathe. Ilene was gone and there was nothing that could bring her back. There were no more chances for redemption or hope that she would see the error of her ways.
You had to do it, I told myself silently as I gasped for air. She was a monster, and she would have killed you if given the chance. She was remorseless, full of rage, and she was beyond saving. You did what had to be done. You were the only one that could do it. And now there’s something else you have to do…
I didn’t want to do it, even though I knew I had to. Ilene hadn’t been as injured lately as I had been, and her healing would be as good as it could possibly be. There was a chance she could survive a fall like that. It was a small chance, but it was a chance nonetheless, and I couldn’t let her come back and hurt one of us.
Sighing, I opened my eyes and peered over the edge of the cliff. Her eyes–so much like Ray’s–stared up unblinkingly at me, and my breath caught in the back of my throat at the sight of her. Blood spattered the rocks around her, and her limbs were broken and hanging at odd angles. Her neck hung limply from her shoulders, and blood dribbled from her mouth. The impact had broken her, like I knew it would. Even if she healed faster than any werewolf ever born, there was absolutely no coming back from that. She was gone, and she would never come back…
For a minute I just sat there at the edge of the cliff, staring down at the lifeless body of my kid sister. Slowly but surely my strength began to return, and I could feel my body begin to heal. Unlike Ilene, my healing wasn’t what it used to be, and I knew I would probably have a scar or two from our fight. It would take a few hours to know what would heal and what wouldn’t. Unfortunately I didn’t have the luxury of hiding out in the woods until I was all better. I had to get back to Ray and the others and help out in any way that I could.
When I was sure I could stand without falling down, I forced myself to get to my feet. I swayed a bit before regaining my balance, and once my legs stopped trembling, I started the trip back home. What would have taken mere moments in wolf form would take probably closer to an hour on foot at the pace I could manage. That meant I had an hour to not only think about Ilene’s death and my hand in it, but I got to think about the fate of everyone I loved.
It’s going to be a long walk back…
Chapter Fifteen
The first thing I noticed upon arriving home was the overwhelming scent of blood in the air. It covered every surface in sight, including the ground, the porch, the side of the house, and the trees in the woods around me. Dead bodies littered the ground in the front yard, and I refused to look at their faces in case I recognized anyone. Other than the dead bodies, there was nobody in sight, but I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. When I stepped up onto the porch, my foot slid in a puddle of blood, and I leaned against the railing for support.
The door opened and Quinten wrapped his arms around me, sweeping me off my feet with the strength of his hug. He buried his face in my neck and he shuddered once before setting me down much more carefully than he’d picked me up. “Alanna! You’re alright,” he whispered quietly, almost as if he couldn’t believe it. “I didn’t feel our bond break, so I knew you were alive, but when we couldn’t find you, I knew that something bad had happened. I wondered if you’d gone into labor out in the woods by yourself, or if maybe Roger had taken you.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said, burying my face in his shoulder as my voice cracked. “I killed Ilene,” I said, just as quietly as him. “She’s gone, Quinten. She’s gone, and I was the one that killed her!”
Quinten draped a blanket over my shoulders, led me into the kitchen, and he stroked my hair while I sobbed into his shoulder. He whispered soothing things in my ear, but I couldn’t pay much attention to what he was saying. All I could do was think about Ilene and all of the others that had perished today because of my mistakes. I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat, and I fought to keep from puking.
“Stop it,” Ray said firmly. “I can practically feel you blaming yourself. None of this is your fault. None of it! Now, come here so I can hug you, dammit.” Ray didn’t wait for me to detach myself from Quinten. Instead, he simply put his arms around the both of us, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I love you, Kiddo. Nobody here blames you for any of this. Why don’t you go get dressed,” he said, handing me a pile of clothes, “And we’ll talk when you’re finished. We have a lot to go over.”
I took the clothes from him and slipped into the bathroom. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I was so startled I nearly dropped the clothes. Even though I was only physically nineteen years old, I looked so much older. My shoulder-length dark auburn hair was disheveled and matted to my head with blood and dirt. My brilliant blue eyes were wide and haunted, with dark circles under them. There was one new addition to my face, and as I stared at it, I felt the strangest urge to put my head in my hands and cry. I had never considered myself to be a vain person, but the long, bloody cut that ran down the left side of my face was absolutely heartbreaking.
It was long and thin, starting at the hairline just above my left temple. It dragged down my cheek–missing my left eye by centimeters–before curving sharply and heading beneath the bottom of my left ear and down the side of my neck. It disappeared into the hair at the base of my skull, and I lifted a trembling finger and traced the thing. It was red and puffy, and I knew just by looking at it that it would never heal fully. It would scar, and I would be stuck with that ugly thing for all of eternity.
It was probably close to a foot long, and even though much of it wasn’t visible, it was still noticeable, and it was still ugly. With the addition of the scar that was so much like Roger’s it would have been funny were it not so tragic, I looked crazy. I looked like someone that had lost everything they held dear. I looked like someone that had seen the worst the world had to offered, and come out on top…for now.
Knowing that the others were waiting for me, I used an old washcloth to clean myself. There was blood all down my neck and back, and the entire left side of my face was a bloody mess. I wiped it off the best I could, but it quickly started to bleed again, and I knew it would do no good. I’d have to have Jenna take a look at it when I was done.
When I was as clean as possible and dressed in sweats and an old t-shirt, I headed back out to the living room where everyone was waiting quietly. Ray moved down the couch so I could sit between him and Jenna, and she dug out some small bandages from a bag at her feet.
“I know Ilene is dead,” I said flatly. There would be time for more mourning later. Right now I had to be focused and prepared in case of another attack, and I couldn’t let my emotions distract me. “And I saw the bodies out on the front lawn. How bad were our losses?” I asked as Jenna began to wipe my face again and place the bandages across the scar to keep it from splitting open.
While Jenna patched me up, I looked around the room, searching for important faces. Jenna was sporting a large bandage on her forearm and another rested over a large bloodstain on her thigh, but she looked to be healing quickly. Ray had a black eye, a broken nose, and I could see the outline of a large rectangular bandage across his chest. As Quinten walked by, I could see blood stains around tears in his chest and his back.
There were a few people I didn’t see. Darren and Jax were missing, as were Violet and Brent. The hulking beast with bright red hair would have stood out anywhere. Nolan was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in hi
s hands, and when I looked back at Ray, I knew that one of his oldest friends had died while I was gone.
Ray took a deep breath. “Why don’t you tell us what happened, so I know how much you missed while you were gone?”
“There isn’t much to tell,” I said quickly. I was trying not to panic, but I couldn’t help it. All I could do was picture Jax and Darren lying bloody and broken in a ditch somewhere. “I led Ilene out to the cliffs, and we fought. She managed to get the upper hand thanks to her training with Roger, but I was able to outsmart her.” My voice caught, and I took a deep breath before continuing. “I baited her. I told her that you had always loved me more. Even though it was something she’d thought her entire life, she flew into a rage and attacked me. I tossed her over the edge of the cliff.
“I should have just left her there to die, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to save her, but she tried to kill me again, and I let go. I let her fall.” I looked over at Ray. He sat on the couch beside me, staring off at nothing with a blank expression on his face. His eyes were flat and he almost looked like a zombie. “Dad?”
“Alanna, you did what had to be done,” he said, wrapping one arm around my shoulder. “Don’t you ever doubt that. Ilene was beyond saving. And as much as it kills me to say this, I’m glad she can’t hurt you anymore.” He took a deep breath, trying to pull himself together. “Violet is dead. Alanna, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I know that the two of you had become friends, after everything she did for you and for us.”
“What happened?”
“I tried to save her,” Jenna said. “She was helping Quinten and Darren, and she got separated from them somehow. She was surrounded by wolves, and by the time I fought my way through them, Roger had already gotten to her. There wasn’t much left when they were done with her,” she said quietly. “We buried what we could in the woods at the back of the house, but…” she trailed off, probably hoping not to upset me.
Arena Wars Trilogy Page 51