That sounds like a good poem I said.
Yes but now that I am dying like that old man I do not like that poem nearly so much as I always did. I think I actually hate that poem. Do you understand what I am saying?
Yes.
There is one more thing he said. These are my dying words to you, like that old man’s. Break with Kate. Will you grant me that one wish?
I cannot do that I said. I am sorry for your illness and I am sorry you do not approve of me and Kate. But I love her and want to marry her.
I do not dislike you Howard he said. I can understand why you would think that. We have treated you shabbily while you have been here. But I actually like you. I will be honest with you, my wife does not care for you. Ludlow is a vacuous tart, I know that, but I believe he is what Kate needs. You are too much like Kate for you two to ever get along. You both are headstrong people who love being in the limelight. That is not a good formula for success in marriage. People in a marriage have to be willing to give up some of what they want and neither of you is like that. But Ludlow is willing to give up anything for Kate.’
I realized it did not make any difference what I told him, he was dying. I did not have to stick to anything.
I see the truth of what you are saying I said. You are probably right about me and Kate. I will step aside, but I will do it slowly if that is all right with you.
He grabbed my hand in both of his. Yes, that is fine. Thank you, thank you so much. Please, Howard, eat with us this evening. We are having rock lobster.
Hughes diary entry, September 11, 1937
Today I came home from the aircraft plant thinking I ought to tell Kate about her father’s illness since I had never liked the fact I had not been told my mother was going into the hospital and then she was gone, so when I got home I sat Kate down on the bed and held her hand and told her about her father. She said I cannot believe this, this is the third time he has told this liver cancer story to men I have brought to visit.
I was angry about being made a dupe but I told her it was not her fault.
Later at dinner I asked her who the other two men were who were told this same story.
It does not matter she said. I am so angry at Father I just do not want to talk about it.
I am just curious. Just tell me.
I said I do not want to she said.
Look. I have put up with a lot from your family and have been very good-natured so I do not think this is too much to ask.
You are only asking because you want a reason to be jealous. I am not going to pander to that part of your personality. There is absolutely no good reason to mention who it was.
Was Ronald Colman one of them?
This discussion is over. She put a bite into her mouth. I looked at my plate. The beef chunks were irregular and the rice kernels were tiny runtish things. I yelled for Linton. Kate asked what was wrong.
There’s a hair in my beef tips I said.
Yuck she said and wrinkled up her nose.
Linton came and took our plates away. I told him to bring me two chicken sandwiches, a Hershey’s bar, and milk. Kate said she did not want anything else. Then she got up and went to the bathroom.
That part of my personality kiss my ass. Why did she drag me into that hellhole without warning me I might be lied to? Maybe she warned the others and not me. I will never know about that though because I have to rely on her for the truth. The idea that any truth exists outside of mathematics and chemistry and aerodynamics and the engineering sciences is absolutely and utterly insane and even the truth in those areas is constantly changing. Truth is a lie for women and children and weak men to believe so they do not get discouraged. A man can know there is no truth and keep going but he still hopes his girlfriend is not a liar. But there are always secrets and you can never know when you are being lied to or when a woman is going to change her mind about loving you, and it has nothing to do with you, but is just her whim like it happened with Billie [Dove— ed.]. Without warning you are alone. Or it rains, a car skids, and she is killed, like with Sarah [Sarah Elway, a favorite prostitute of Hughes’s who was killed in a car accident during his early days in California— ed.]. Or an unseen germ descends and she dies like with Mother. Kate thinks I am jealous but I am actually just one of those unlucky people who cannot put these awful realities out of my mind and tell myself lies that cover them up day in day out. I understand the importance of preparing for every eventuality and putting all the resources of your organization behind your efforts. I suppose this is why people become priests because they cannot put these realities out of their minds either and they do not have the resources I do to take care of things so they just go all out on the religion business hoping there is another world with more order than this one.
Who would not want to know who those two men were? A simple speaking of their names would put everything to rest but I guess that would be too easy and she would not have anything to smile about for the next three days.
A Gift Is A Gift
Following his breakup with Katharine Hepburn, Hughes was heartbroken. It seemed conventional ways of conducting romance weren’t working for him, so he tried a different approach and for the next twenty years he always had one primary relationship (here it is with the young, unknown actress Faith Domergue) and several secondary relationships (here they are with Ava Gardner and Lana Turner). It seems he wanted to make sure he didn’t get left completely alone again as he did when Billie Dove and Katharine Hepburn left him.
Hughes diary entry, November 3, 1946
For those who study my life after I am gone, the biographers and reporters and possibly even historians, all the soul-murdering bastards whose opinions will create my legacy no matter what I do for this country, for those who are reading this diary entry in whatever year 2020 or whatever, I say this to you, there are people in this world who will cut your finger off, then cut your hand off, then cut your arm at the elbow, then take the whole arm from the shoulder, and the whole time they are smiling, they are your friend, and you don’t know they really aren’t your friend until your arm is gone and you are standing there bleeding, with blood spurting from your shoulder and torn muscles hanging like untied shoelaces and your screams drowning out every other noise and for history I want it known that Ava Gardner is one of the people who starts cutting and doesn’t stop. I want it on record. See if you can get this one thing right. Just copy it off this page onto yours:
AVA GARDNER WILL CUT YOU ALL THE WAY.
She calls and says she wants her Mercedes back. I’m thinking what Mercedes and when I don’t say anything she says the gray Mercedes I gave her three years ago that she gave back when she married Artie Shaw. Now that she’s not with little Artie she wants it back. I told her it’d been here so long I thought it was mine, but sure, she was welcome to it, a gift is a gift.
The day after her call I receive the daily observation logs from Munson. I read through Faith’s pages, Lana’s, Rita’s [Rita Hayworth— ed.], several others, and everything’s in order everywhere, nobody going behind my back with someone I didn’t know about before, until I read Ava’s. I’m copying it here so you goddamn journalists a hundred years from now won’t have to try to find it because if everything goes according to plan the original will be destroyed.
Ava Gardner, Friday, October 11, 1946
The son of a bitch didn’t*** [In the rest of this paragraph, the text is corrupted beyond recognition by a large, dark, irregularly shaped stain— ed.]
I called the aircraft plant and got Russelli and Tompkins sent out to the house. They arrived around noon and I sent them out to the garage where the Mercedes was. I had a table set up with chicken sandwiches, apples, chocolate bars, milk. I told them to wait on me for instructions. I told them not to touch the food until I got there.
Faith was in the kitchen. She had silver mixing bowls everywhere, two ovens going, flour all over herself. It was just the two of us but with the mess and the heat from the ovens it seeme
d crowded and tight like a subway station back east and as soon as I walked in there I felt like I couldn’t move without hitting something. I sat down.
Whatcha doing? she said.
Nothing. What’s cooking?
A cake.
Looks like you’re feeding an army.
Very funny.
What kind of cake?
Cherry chocolate. What’re you guys doing this afternoon?
I looked out the window at the driveway and the hill that leads up from the road, where the cars passing looked slow because they were so far away. I unbuttoned the top of my shirt. I was sweating.
We’re working on a car I said. I wanted to talk to you about it. Ava Gardner is going to be here this afternoon. I didn’t want you getting upset, but she’s coming for this car, a Mercedes. I’m getting it ready for her. It’s a long story but it’s hers, she’s taking it, and then getting the hell out of our lives completely.
Is she coming in?
No. God, no. She’s just getting the car and going.
Well, if she does come in here I don’t want to see her. Keep her away from me, Howard.
Don’t worry. How’d you get flour on the tip of your nose, my little cook?
I went upstairs and changed into a dry shirt, then went out to the garage, where Russelli and Tompkins were arguing. Tompkins has no teeth and won’t wear the false ones so when he talks I can’t understand him. It’s different lipreading someone with no teeth, like a whole other language.
What is it, boys? I said.
Mwah mwah Tompkins said. [This is the only instance of onomatopoeia in the thousands of pages of Hughes’s writings that my assistants and I reviewed— ed.]
I looked at Russelli.
I did not he said. That’s crazy.
We sat on a workbench and ate. I was between Russelli and Tompkins. Tompkins’s legs were dangling like a kid’s. The milk bottles were cold and sweaty. I rubbed mine on my forehead and got ice from the bucket and rubbed my arms.
So what are we doing today Boss Russelli said.
We’re going to make some changes to that gray Mercedes over there. We’re going to loosen a number of parts. The muffler, things like that. I’ll show you.
What for?
Because Ava Gardner is going to pick it up this afternoon.
I don’t get it.
She’s a two-timer I said.
Oh, sorry to hear that Boss.
Then the door from the house to the garage opened and it was Faith, so much flour on her she looked like a damn geisha.
Howard, you’ve got a telephone call.
Who is it?
It’s her she said and she nodded at the Mercedes.
Just go back and hang up the phone. Just hang it up without another word.
I don’t want to do that.
Why not?
It seems strange.
Then leave it off the hook.
She left. There was a white handprint on the door where she touched it.
We loosened the muffler, the driver side mirror, the bolts that hold the universal, the timing chain, and many other things. It was a delicate operation because whatever we were working on had to be loosened just enough that she could drive a short distance down the hill from the house before it fell off. The parts had to fall off one after the other like in a cartoon so she would realize what a fool she was for betraying me. We didn’t screw with the brakes or anything that would cause an accident. I didn’t want her to die, I just wanted to see her face through the binoculars while things fell off. It was tricky getting everything right. Turning this nut or that one just the right number of turns so its falling off corresponded with precisely the correct distance she would travel down the hill. Mercedes automobiles have a low vibration quotient either idling or moving and that had to be taken into account. Mercedes is a helluva car. Germans. One thing the journalists a hundred years from now will probably conveniently forget when writing the Howard Hughes story is that in the past six months I have saved a number of German scientists from falling into the clutches of the Communists. They’re at Hughes Aircraft right now twiddling their goddamn thumbs and living in paradise instead of freezing their asses off in Moscow and designing weapons to destroy America … . [In the text that finishes this paragraph, several passages have been blacked out, just as a censor would do. We can only assume Hughes did this himself, because according to the curator of the Hughes Archives this particular diary had not been reviewed before I read it, and we know that during his lifetime Hughes closely guarded his diaries. I reproduce the passage here by substituting xs for portions of the text that have been blacked out— ed.] x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x the Berlin question xxxxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x the Senate does not have the will x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x and in his more lucid moments, Dewey knows that x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x believe Truman x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x she’s just a lying, miserable bite x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x and yet Malaysia is probably the best staging area of all for x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x xx
I put the car in neutral and steered it out of the garage into the driveway while Russelli and Tompkins pushed. We wanted as little jarring to the car as possible. Our calculations had been precise. They pushed me into the drive and up to the front door. I stepped on the park brake, took a rag and wiped the grease off the steering wheel, and then we sat on the stone bench near the front door. I remembered the binocs and told Tompkins to go to the garage and get them. He came back with them hanging from his neck and they damn near reached his knees. He had an apple he had been eating earlier. The white part had turned brown.
When Ava arrived Duff was with her. They drove up behind the Mercedes, right in front of our bench. I couldn’t believe the nerve. Ava had her window down smoking. I stood up.
The keys are in the ignition I said.
What’re you doing with those binoculars? she said.
Nothing.
She frowned. Why wouldn’t you talk to me?
Hey Duff said. Did you call him?
You were in the shower.
Look, just get your car and go Ava I said.
She opened the door and got out and then got into the Mercedes. I went over and leaned into the window. She pulled the choke.
It’s not too late for us I said.
Please don’t she said.
I love you. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll give you anything.
Do you know why I called you?
Yes, it was because you want us to be together again.
She twisted the rearview mirror so she could see herself and started patting her hair. It was because you have to stop sending flowers every day she said. Howard got so angry this morning he threatened to put a contract on your life.
Screw him. I’ll risk death for you.
No more flowers. I’m refusing delivery from now on.
I can’t believe you’re so coldly throwing away all we had.
She stopped looking at herself, readjusted the mirror, and put her hand on the ignition.
Don’t start this car I said.
Do you know Faith is watching us? She’s watching out those windows over there. You stand here and say these things as the woman you live with watches and you don’t even know it.
Yes I do.
Then that’s even worse. She turned the ignition. It didn’t start. Did you do something to this car? she said.
Give it more choke I said.
She did and it fired right up. She put it in gear and started around the driveway and Duff pulled out behind her.
I went back to the bench and sat down. I lifted the binocs and watched. She wasn’t thirty yards down the hill when the muffler fell off, then right after that a flywheel popped out
. Her mouth looked shocked and ugly. More stuff fell off. Duff had to swerve to miss each part as it popped out from under the car and bounced on the road. Ava stopped halfway down the hill and Duff stopped behind her. They got out. They looked behind them at the car parts in the road. They argued. Then Duff got her into the car and they drove off.
I lowered the binocs. Get that thing back up here I said. Put it back together and then put everything back in order in the garage. But get that grease off of you before you touch that car or anything in the garage. Use the hose out back. Then take the hose and put it in your truck. Take it with you when you leave and destroy it at the plant. Put it in the incinerator. I’m going to call security and make sure you did that. Understand?
Sure thing Boss.
Good day’s work boys.
Alton Reece interview with Faith Domergue at her home in Palo Alto, California
Faith Domergue lives in a small bungalow in a middle-class neighborhood where most of the houses show their age, except for hers, with its manicured yard and recently painted stucco. I arrive on a Sunday afternoon at our appointed meeting time, but she’s not home, so I park in her driveway, lower the windows, and turn on the radio.
Faith Domergue’s story is a fairly common one from the days of Hollywood’s studio system. Though she had little acting experience, Warner Bros. Studios, on the basis of her looks alone, signed her to a contract when she was fifteen. Her parents were Spanish and French and she was a small, slim girl with dark hair, olive skin, and strikingly beautiful eyes. Hughes met her not long after she signed with Warner Bros., at a party he was hosting for the studio on his yacht. He and Domergue immediately fell for each other, though he was more than twice her age, and less than a week later Hughes had purchased her contract from Jack Warner for fifty thousand dollars. She and Hughes began living together two months later, with her parents and siblings installed in a house nearby. Hughes arranged drama, dance, and golf lessons for her, bought her a stylish new wardrobe, and supplied tutors so she could finish her education. She didn’t appear in a movie, though, until 1950, two years after her breakup with Hughes. Over the next few years she found occasional roles, then gave up acting.
I Was Howard Hughes Page 5