by Calinda B
I awaken to the soothing sounds of my mother singing to me. Usually, she sang opera, but this sound is nice…so soothing that I want to fall back to sleep and be comforted. Warm arms embrace me as I’m rocked back and forth. “So nice,” I murmur, eyes closed, and bury my face in the furry form holding me. Furry form? My eyelids pop open. Huge, fur-covered feline arms drop me and I fall into the snow. Four sets of cat paw tracks lope away, the accompanying body having faded from sight. “Where’s Sober? Where’s my dog?” My eyes scan wildly about.
Sober trots along the narrow ledge, then races to my side and licks my face when he sees my eyes open.
“Not exactly the same effect as River’s, but I like it,” I tell my canine companion, ruffling his coat. I groan. My head hurts, my body hurts. Everything about me aches. I look down at a vast canyon that expands into forever. Behind me, about four feet up, is a long stretch of snow covered plains, peppered with cat paw tracks. Huge prehistoric-looking birds swoop and soar, letting out caws and cries that make my skin crawl. Somehow I managed not to fall into the abyss below. I shudder and look to my pooch. “Where are we?”
“The Shadow Lands took care of you until you regained consciousness.”
I whirl around. “Mom?”
“I’m here.”
Mom’s a bit see-through, but she’s standing a few feet from me, looking young, vibrant and alive, much like she did when I was a child. “Where did you come from?”
“I heard your call. We’re in the space in between. You’re not ready to cross over and be with me and your father. You have so much life and adventure ahead of you.” She beams.
“So, I’m not dead?”
“No, darling, not in the least.”
“That’s a relief. As for the Shadow Lands comforting me, I think they tried to kill me by sending me sliding down the hill toward Armando’s crew.”
“They hoped you wouldn’t collide. You were bound by the consequences of Armando’s folly. They were hoping you’d find a way out.”
“Like a training exercise?” I scoff, get to my feet, and brush the snow from my backside. “Nice.” I wrap my arms around me, shivering. “Cold up here.”
“Love that jumpsuit, darling!” Mom coos.
“Betty made it for me.”
“I know. I gave instructions to her dog, Buddy.”
“You had this made for me?”
“My girl’s grown. She’s becoming a badass. She needed a badass outfit.”
Tears well in my eyes. “Thank you! I’d hug you but, well, you’re transparent.”
“But you can feel my love, I know you can.”
I smile at her. I’ve always loved my mom. We were best friends. “I miss you, Mom. I wish you were still around to guide me. I’m in over my head right now.”
“I know. And I’m with you as much as I can be.” She gave me a sad smile. “How can I help?”
“I’m not sure. I’m in this crazy place with three of the most…” I stop, dropping my gaze to the ground. My mom doesn’t need to know I’m with three guys.
“You have three lovers, I’m aware.”
Of course she is! My cheeks flame with heat. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“But Daniel gave you the gift of connecting with all of them. He adores you, darling.”
“Maybe. He can be controlling.” And then again…I shiver as thoughts of him bossing me around sexually stir my insides. “So you think I’m a slut, right?” I can’t look at her. I mean…this is my mom I’m talking to.
She laughs. It’s a melodic trill that soothes me. “No, I don’t think you’re a slut. That’s a horrible word cast at women who seize their sexual power and use it the way they want.”
“Really?” My head lifts and I meet her gaze.
“Those three men adore you. They’re wonderful.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, darling.” She laughs that tinkling laugh again.
“And, they’re in their own mess right now.” I blow out my breath. “I don’t know if they’ll make it back to me. And I’ve got a job to do which I feel completely unprepared for. Finding three horrific sisters to get a piece of my soul back…and the bitches might kill me. Or, Daniel’s father might get to me first. I don’t even get an hour into my journey before I nearly get caught.” A bitter laugh escapes. “Some Light Rebel I am.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. This takes so much courage. I’m enormously proud of you. Both of us are.”
“Dad, too?” I don’t know why I feel ten years old right now.
“Your father, too.” Mom’s gaze pivots toward the valley below. “So. You’d best get going on your journey. I can’t help you, but what I can do is point you in the right direction. Let me see that map.”
I fish the map out of my secret hiding place and hand it to her.
She spreads it in the air before her. “You’ve been heading here, because that seems to make the most sense, right?”
“According to Tom and Betty…oh, and Rafe. He knows this area well.”
“He does, true. But he knows it from the perspective of one who resides on this planet in flesh and blood. I have an advantage as a spirit. I see through the illusions. Here…this place.” Her transparent finger slides through the see-through map.
“That’s the worst place ever! Everyone told me to stay away from that place!”
“I know. It is a treacherous place. It’s extremely dangerous. But this place is a dead end.” She indicates the spot the others told me to head for. “Landslides and such have occurred from recent cosmic storms.”
“I thought the Shadow Lands could change everything about this place.” I spread my arms wide.
“Only certain areas. Some are restrained by their own portal rules.”
“How will I know which areas are restrained and which ones are not?”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to use your intuition, dear one. You have a keen psychic ability to know what’s true and what isn’t, remember? It’s part of your Light Rebel arsenal.”
“When I don’t forget, that is. All right. I’m ready.”
“Of course you are.” Mom smiles warmly.
I square my shoulders and prepare to leave. “Thanks, Mom. Wish us luck.”
“Always, darling.” With a last smile and a wave, she fades from view.
I turn to Sober. “Ready, pup?”
He barks—real dog barks, no bubbles this time—and we pick our way down the cliff, toward the trail my mother indicated. Our journey, alone this time, begins.
Chapter 25
It’s been five fucking days it seems, traipsing through the warped world of Warplandia. Actually, I have no track of time, no sense of day or night. Maybe it’s been weeks. We sleep, forge ahead, and sleep some more. I’ve parsed out the food supplies between me and Sober. If I give us each half a bar per day, we’ll last until tomorrow. Honestly, though? I’m not sure we can make it beyond that. Even though the food bars are highly concentrated nourishment, we’re both exhausted, hungry, parched. Sober’s given up flutter-romps to conserve energy. We’ve managed to suck snow, or eat it, in Sober’s case, when it surrounds us, but even the icy landscape is disappearing, replaced by a stark, godforsaken environment. “Yep,” I say, peering at the map. “These are the lands of treachery. This is it.”
I stand, hands on my hips, and look around. Everything around us is gray or muted brown, like the hide of a Diamondback rattlesnake. It’s as quiet as an isolation chamber. Even our footsteps, which should be accompanied by crunching, gravelly noises, make no sound. No bird song, nothing shuffling through the forest—maybe because there is no forest. We left the forest long ago. Now we’re surrounded by nothing but stone, gravel, and shale, reminding me of images I’ve seen of the desolate cliffs of Mongolia, stretching as far as the eyes can see. Dust lines my and Sober’s lips, eyes, and nostrils. Those prehistoric birds I saw with my mom in the “space between” continue to circle. They’re even rattlesnake colored, si
lently soaring in a gray and brown sky. It’s a two-toned nightmare, and even the sound waves in this area don’t function—dead, dead, dead. “This place needs a new sound card,” I say. “And an interior decorator—one who believes in color.” The only thing I hear is me and my dog chuffing, often laboring to breathe as the air up here gets thinner.
I’ve twisted my dirty hair into a bun on the back of my head to keep the noiseless wind from blowing it into my eyes. At least my jumpsuit seems to repel dirt and smell. I settle my behind on a large rock. My beautiful red dino-ring catches the sunlight, glinting with a gorgeous deep red, reminding me of being with my guys on that splendid night of love. “Courage, huh. If this is what it takes to develop courage, I’ve changed my mind.” I sigh. I miss my alpha male warrior protectors and lovers. There’s a pit of grief in my heart.
“Ready for your half bar?” I stare at Sober. Is he actually grinning at me like the cat soul of the Shadow Lands? My mind is playing tricks on me in this “absence of stimulation” environment. A few miles back, I was certain a herd of silent elephants was stampeding toward us. Only when they barreled right through us as I sprinted like a lunatic did I realize it was an illusion. Later, I saw vistas of food laid out on plates along the rocks. We hurried up to them, only to find that when I reached for the plates they shattered like burnt sugar, the food exploding into dust. I’ve sought Daniel’s mind, like a continuous mantra, only to crumple into tears when I couldn’t find him. “This was a stupid idea. Who needs pieces of their soul? If I needed them, they wouldn’t have left me, right?”
Sober wags his tail listlessly.
I pull one of my last two bars from my hidden pocket and unwrap it. “We only have one more, pup,” I tell my canine companion. “We’d better find a solution soon or we’ll be dead.”
He barks.
“You think I’m kidding but I’m not.”
He paws the ground.
“Yeah, you would say that. You always think hopeful thoughts.” I break the bar in two, giving him the larger end. It disappears down his throat in two seconds. “Ever hear of chewing your food, mutt?” I demonstrate, munching slowly and deliberately on this nourishment. It tastes like a combo between chocolate and bitter medicine. Rafe told me he’s lived on these bars for weeks when he’s on assignment. “I suppose I could do that, too, if I had to,” I tell him, as if he’s right next to me. “I’d have to have more of them, though.” I swallow and take another bite. Chew. Savor the sweet, slightly bitter flavors. “So these really kept you going, huh?” I suck on the mouthful of masticated food. “They’re that complete?” Swallow. “I miss you, honey.”
The last bite goes into my mouth. “What about you, River? You ever live on these? No? Do you ever go on assignments like Rafe?” Chew. “I didn’t think so.” Swirl the gooey mouthful, moving it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth, afraid to swallow. Only one bar left and then…nada. “And you, Daniel? How did you survive when you were trapped in darkness?” I say, my voice garbled by the morsel of nourishment. “You probably don’t need food to survive. You probably live off of the essence of demons.”
I know better than to talk with food in my mouth. I cough, quickly swallow, cough more. “That food is mine, Navid! You can’t have it!” Cough, cough, cough. Little bits of food bar spray from my mouth. Tears spring into my eyes. “What was that, a test, Daniel? You’re always pushing me to grow! I need that bit of food.” I’m certain River is soothing me, stroking my back. “Thank you, River, love. You get me. You don’t want me to change. Whereas you…” I stab my finger in the direction of imaginary Daniel. “‘Evolve, Marissa, grow and be your best self.’ You’re like a commercial for the Marines.” My head whips to the left. “You think that’s funny, Rafe? You’re laughing at me? You have no morals whatsoever, you know that? You live without judgment or worry about the consequences of your actions! That’s just…that’s just wrong! And quit laughing at me!” I start to sob. “Thank you, River. You’re the only one who’s consistently nice to me.” I pause, cocking my head to the side. I do hear laughter. Sober’s nowhere in sight, yapping his head off around the corner. “Sober, come!”
More laughter. More yips. More illusion? I can’t be sure, not me who just had an argument with me, myself, and I playing the roles of me and my three lovers. I’m fucking nuts over here, Daniel. Are you out there…still alive? I stand, prepared to face another illusion, following the sounds of dog and human laughter.
I turn the corner of this gray and brown world to see Sober Dober barking at a face poking out from a rock. “Great, dog, you’re losing it and I already lost it.” I stomp to him, prepared to grab his collar and haul him away from the illusion. “This is a fantasy. We’re sharing the fantasy, but it’s not real,” I tell him, glancing at the gray and brown-eyed, bulbous nosed, chapped lips apparition. “Look.” I place my hand over the face, expecting to find rock, only to find warm flesh, accompanied by a slippery, pointy tongue licking the center of my palm. I leap back in surprise.
“Hungry, little girl?” The face says, his clownish leer revealing spiky yellow teeth.
“Oh, Jesus!” I say, rubbing my hand vigorously along my jumpsuit. “Now the illusions are talking back. Sober, we’ve got to find food.”
“I’ve got some. Quite a lot, it seems.” A hand slides from the cool stone wall, holding a tray of baked chicken, rosemary roasted potatoes, and green beans.
My mouth immediately waters and, despite my certainty that this is all a product of my nutrition starved brain, I reach for a drumstick.
The plate is whisked away, but not before a very real smear of chicken grease lands on my fingertips. I put the finger in my mouth and suck, eyes closing, relishing this burst of flavor. “Mmm, great illusion. More, please.” I open my mouth, expecting the food fantasy to be gone. Instead, I find another plate full of food. Hummus, Baba Ganoush, dolmas, pita bread, tomatoes, colorful bell peppers, cucumber slices, and tahini sauce all within reach, making my mouth water. I put a hand out, snagging a small cucumber slice before the plate disappears. I place it in my mouth between my teeth and crunch, sucking the watery juices into my mouth before grinding the fragment of nutrition into a slurry. When I open my eyes, Sober’s sitting at my feet, looking up at me with those guilt-inducing, adoring eyes of his.
He whines and paws the ground.
“I’m sorry. I should have shared. What’s wrong with me?” I turn and glare at the face. “You’re being awfully stingy, you, you, you face, you! At least feed my dog.”
“I’ll feed the two of you if you like,” he says. “As much as you like. Food to take with you on your journey. I’ve got lots, you see.” A window-like gap slides open in the stone wall, revealing stores and stores of food in a well-lit cavern.
My eyes bulge in surprise.
As quickly as it opens, it’s closed with a snap. I’m so hungry I reach for my sword, ready to blast the wall into smithereens. I feel like one of those mongrels who hang around cafes in Mexico, hoping, begging for a scrap to eat.
“Ah, ah, ah, Light Rebel, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. There’s a strong protection spell on this wall preventing hooligans like you from doing such a thing.”
“Want to bet? I’ll bet I’m stronger than your spell.” Desperate is more like it. I whip The Naked Truth free from my side, pull power up from my core, take aim, and let loose a stream of powerful energy. When it reaches the wall it boomerangs back into the sword and sends me staggering backwards, shocked and stunned. The sword falls free with a clatter, as I shake my scorched arm. All the hair has been burned off and the nasty burnt smell assaults my nostrils. “Ow, ow, ow! You bastard!”
“Not very smart to drop your weapon like that. Anyone could take it.”
Before I react, his arm explodes from the rock, seizes my sword, and retreats, sealing the wall and taking my weapon into his petrous domain.
“Hey!” I yell. “That’s mine!”
“Not anymore.”
“Oh, com
e on! Give it back.” I ball my hands into fists and beat against the smooth, solid stone, trying to direct energy into the rocks, only bruising and bloodying my skin instead. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
“There’s a better way to get your sword back and get a good meal or two.”
“What’s that?” I retort, frustrated. I kick the wall angrily with my foot. “Ow! You and your fucking stone world!”
“Temper, temper. I’ll share my idea with you if you calm down.”
“What? You want sexual favors, right?” I lean against the shale and slide down to a crouch. “Every male wants sexual favors.”
“I hadn’t thought of that, but it isn’t a bad idea.”
“Fuck you!”
“I already said yes.”
“I don’t want to.”
“It’s only biology, Light Rebel. Nothing personal.”
“Nothing personal. Right. It’s a very personal, extremely private act for me. I said no.” I pick up a handful of pebbles and fling them away.
“You have three lovers. What’s a fourth?”
My eyebrows quickly rise. “How do you know my private life?”
“I honestly didn’t, but I do now.” He chuckles. “My, my, you’re a saucy thing, aren’t you?”
I scowl. “So what’s your stupid favor?”
“Someone made a deal with me. He reneged on the deal. He needs to pay. It’s a sorcerer’s code of honor kind of situation.”
“Who is it?” I say wearily.
“Armando Navid,” the face says.
I brighten. “Armando? Now you’re talking. We intend to take him out and make him pay. We’ll be happy to convey a message before we make him dead.”
“That’s just it. I need him to be alive.”
“Okay,” I stand, brushing dust from my rear. “We’ll deliver him. He’ll be injured, but he’ll be alive.”
“That’s another thing. He needs to be fully restored. Back to good health.”
My jaw drops. “Are you kidding me? He’s already paralyzed. Modern medicine has tried its hardest. How can he be fully restored?”