by V. K. Ludwig
I wrapped my hand around the back of his head, letting our mouths meet in another kiss. Our tongues explored each other, dancing around in circles before they wet our lips.
Melek ran his hands up my thighs and kneaded my ass, moaning into my mouth as he picked me up. He slung my legs around his waist and pinned me against the wall, all air sucking out of my lungs.
Trapped between a chest and a wall, my heart pounded against my sternum as if it didn’t have enough room to expand. My throat, tight with panic, refused to breathe, refused to let that stop get through.
The moment his eyes caught mine, Melek shrunk back and let me slip back to the ground. “What happened just now?”
I slipped my hands off his body and ran them up and down my neck, my skin hot, itchy to a point I wanted to scratch it with hard bristles.
I cleared my throat, cleared it again. “Nothing happened, and that’s half the fucking problem. I ruined this moment over nothing.”
He stroked his thumb over my lips. “Nothing’s ruined, Katie. If anything, you’re helping me learn what triggers you.”
My head sunk to the ground, heavy with embarrassment. “And how will that go, huh? I crumble into a nervous wreck whenever you kiss me? Touch me?”
He gazed around the hallway, then jutted toward the staircase. “Let’s go upstairs.”
We made our way upstairs, the air hanging heavy with sweat and sex. The closed doors barely muffled the grunts and moans coming from behind, driving that shame deep into my core, marinating me in it.
One door stood halfway open, allowing a glimpse of a Jal’zar female kneeling on all fours. Behind her, a male Jal’zar grabbed her hips and drove into her, his tail flicking from side to side.
The moment I stepped toward it and reached for the handle, Melek grabbed my wrist. “Don’t close the door.”
“Why not?”
“They’re open for a reason,” he said. “Some patrons are known to be a bit rough every now and then. The workers don’t close the doors all the way, so passersby would know something’s wrong in case of turmoil in there.”
When we reached the door to our apartment, he led me to the window at the end of the hallway instead. He leaned with his back against it, his hands on my hips.
“Now you listen to me,” he said. “You and I are going to find every single trigger you have. We will work around them, and then through them. Together.”
My head shook all on its own. “The thing is that I really wanted to like it.”
“And you’ll like it again at some point in the future. Trauma stimuli are temporary if we address them. I didn’t enjoy what happened down there any less because of it. It’s the opposite, Katie. I hate what you have to go through, but I love that I can be part of helping you to overcome it.”
I let out a scoff. “Why are you so sweet, Melek?”
He hugged me, his huff tickling my ear. “Because I’ve got lots to make up for. And now, let’s get you out of those shoes.”
Inside, Grace had fallen asleep on the couch, so we sneaked around her as quietly as possible. Melek helped me out of my shoes, put a flask of water on my nightstand, and fluffed my pillow. By the time I got out of the bathroom, he stood with my pj’s draped over his arms, and a smile draped across his face.
Before I went to bed, I gave him a kiss and stroked my fingers through his blond hair. I listened so hard into myself, his even breathing turned into a calming lullaby at the back of my mind.
There was trust. There was unity. There was…
Everything.
And between it, the question if the department had somehow messed up my DNA profile because I could have sworn Melek was my anam ghail.
Fifteen
Katie
* * *
I dug my hand into the bowl of something similar enough to popcorn, which rested at the center of the couch. “Can you believe she just slapped him in the face in front of everyone?”
“She isn’t taking shit from that guy,” Grace said, pulling the blanket higher until it bunched against her chin.
She snuggled up closer against me on the couch, her eyes filled with colorful reflections of the holograms moving in front of us. In terms of entertainment, Vetusians sure understood how to immerse the viewer.
Grace leaned her head against my shoulder, letting her hand search for mine underneath the blanket, where she made them intertwine. “It’s good to have you back, mom.”
That next inhale expanded my chest a bit wider. After over a month at Brot Adnak, we’d found a new home in the unlikeliest of places, right along with something that felt like family.
When Melek stepped out of the bathroom, Grace sat up straight. “Hey, can we still go to that solar reincarnation?”
His white healer pants rode low on his hips, sending a shiver across my body. Still damp, his skin refused to let his shirt slip down easily. He tugged and pulled, making all those muscles lining his stomach shove around in such a way I wanted to trail my tongue over them.
“Honestly, I’m not sure,” he said. “I promised a date, but I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks.”
“He’s right,” I said. “It’s too risky.”
Grace’s shoulder slumped.
“I’ll think on it, okay?” Melek threw himself next to me on the couch, one arm wrapped around my shoulders. “What are you watching?”
The scent of soap and a fresh shave climbed into my nostrils, the way I breathed in deeper almost a reflex. “That movie where the Jal’zar female gets captured by the warlord of another tribe.”
“Are they really like this?” Grace asked, leaning over to look at him. “Fighting alongside the males? Tribes invading each other’s territory?”
“Oh yeah! Jal’zar females are spectacular warriors and dangerous to boot. Things have gotten even worse on their planet ever since the war, now that tribes fight over the territories of whatever warlord didn’t make it back. Look!”
Melek pushed up the side of his shirt. Instead of the scars, my attention caught on his fingers. I imagined them rubbing over my pubic bone and kneading my breasts, leaving my womb with a heat that had me shove on the couch.
“That’s from the Jal’zar?” Grace asked.
“Yup. There’s no such thing as a harmless Jal’zar. Especially not among the females since they’re hot-blooded. Don’t tell K’terra I said that.”
“I don’t like how you took the females as slaves.”
“Trust me, neither do I.” The shirt dropped, and he fidgeted with the blanket until he draped it over his lap. “One of the Vetusians got a bit too curious with a captured female. Figured out they can provide sexual satisfaction, which ultimately led to forced prostitution. Mention his name to any of the Jal’zar downstairs, and you’ll see them hissing and flicking their tails.”
Grace swallowed, letting her fingernail dig for a piece of hull stuck in her teeth. “Why? Who was he?”
“Zavis of the house Broknar. He was a young warrior back then with the second brigade, and one of the first ones who landed on their planet to keep them from dispatching more of their warbands.” He let out a huff. “Anyway, they might have come as slaves, but they’re free now.”
Grace gave a bump against my thigh. “Should we give it to him now?”
“Give me what?”
I nodded and slipped off the couch, taking half the blanket with me, and let my hands search below for the string around the package. Once I grabbed it, I pulled our present out from underneath and handed it to Melek.
“Grace and I wanted to give you something,” I said. “A little thank you for saving us and taking care of us this entire time.”
He shook his head in disbelief, his eyes darting from me, to Grace, to the package. “You know you didn’t need to get me anything, right? It’s an honor for me to take care of you.”
Grace flicked her fingers in his direction. “Shut up and open it!”
A grunt vibrated from his throat, but he removed the string and
wrapper, a smile bunching against his gleaming eyes.
“You guys…” He clasped the white shirt between his fingers, held it up, then against his chest. “Now I can finally breathe properly again while at work.”
“There are three shirts and one pant,” I said. “You spent all your credits on goodies for us when we went out instead of getting yourself new uniforms. I sent K’terra to get it from the tailor for us.”
He folded the shirt back onto the pile and got up, pulling Grace into a hug. “That’s very sweet of you. Thank you so much.”
“It was mom’s idea to get you something, but I helped her restock the bar for some extra credits.”
He hugged me next, our embrace lasting a bit longer, burning a bit deeper.
“There’s a Vetusian here on Odheim who can help me unfreeze my account,” he said. “Once I get access to my credits, I’ll buy you two something real nice, okay?”
He stepped back and took the package, Grace’s assessing stare flicking back and forth between us.
She got up and bunched her end of the blanket against the couch. “You know what? I’ll turn in.”
“Already?” Melek asked over his shoulder, storing his new uniforms in the dresser across.
“Uh-huh. I helped Adora clean that storage room underneath the stairs today, and I’m tired.”
“She told me you only stayed halfway through and then disappeared.”
Grace’s arms tensed by her sides, but she quickly turned around and smiled. “She probably got that confused.”
“She is getting rather old,” Melek said. “I’m wondering how much longer she’ll be able to keep up with Brot Adnak.”
Grace said nothing else and disappeared into the bathroom, the door to her room clicking shut soon after.
I folded the blanket and draped it lengthwise over the couch. “Feel free to change, because I was planning to go to bed.”
His warmth combined with mine the moment he wrapped his arms around my middle. “I’ll probably head to bed as well.”
A slight frown creased his brow. “Nobody ever gave me a gift before. For a moment there, I thought I’d start crying.”
“Oh, come on.”
“No, seriously, Katie.” He shifted around and let his stare linger on my lips. “This right here, living together, is a new experience for me. And I love it.”
We stared at each other for a heartbeat too long, anxiety, and hope mixing in my chest. “Well, I’ve already been to the bathroom so… good night?”
Please spend the night with me.
The words stuck to my gums, unwilling to make it across my lips.
A smile wavered across his mouth before he dipped his head and gave me a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
At that, we got up.
Walked into our rooms.
My door shut. Click.
His door shut. Click.
My heart shriveled a bit, turning into a dehydrated prune once more. With Melek holding back out of respect, and me holding back out of apprehension, how would this ever lead to anything? We were like two teenagers making out behind the bleachers, exploring the same body parts over and over again. I wanted him so badly but just didn’t know how to go about it.
Five minutes later, I tossed around in my bed, anxiety pumping through my arteries. If I turned onto my left side, I sweat. If I rolled onto my right side, I shivered. No matter which way I positioned myself, discomfort chewed on my body.
With sleep unattainable, all I could do was stroke over that insecure body of mine. We’d had opportunities to take things below waist. Plenty, actually, with no new triggers. And yet he somehow held back.
Through the wall beside me, the springs on Melek’s bed squeaked. Then again. And again. It did funny things to my imagination.
His body had been warm against mine so many times, soothing against those wounds I carried on my soul. Whenever he held me, the memory of Kidan faded away, as if his touch was what time did to scars.
His bed squeaked once more, but longer this time.
A door opened.
Closed.
Footsteps.
The longer I listened, the hotter the blanket grew around me, making me kick it away with both feet. When water rushed behind the wall across, I grabbed the blanket and covered myself again.
He’d probably forgotten to use the bathroom. My body warmed again at the thought of his half-naked body. But warmth was the last thing I needed right now, and this time, I tossed the blanket onto the ground.
My ears pricked at the click of the bathroom door, and feet shuffled by my door. The moment they stopped right by the gap underneath, I thrust myself up to sit, my clit throbbing harder than my heart.
I wanted him to knock. Actually, he could have burst in without it, I wouldn’t have given two shits.
Nothing.
Silence.
I climbed out of bed and sneaked over to the door, the knob searing against my palm. What if I went over to his room? Would he tell me it was too much too soon like he had already?
The knob turned.
The gap grew.
My head poked out.
My heart jolted against my throat.
Melek stood inches from me, startled, his hand still hovering where I had pulled the doorknob out of his reach.
He wore nothing but white briefs, the color of his skin showing through the thin fabric where his cock rested.
Quiet swelled between us until it choked out the oxygen, putting a tingle into my fingertips. We stared at each other, our chests rising and falling in synchronized reluctance.
“Katie.”
He pushed my door open with one hand and reached the other around my middle, pulling me against his naked chest. His mouth pressed onto mine, not asking me for a single thing but showing me everything he had held back.
“I want you,” I whispered.
As soon as the door clicked shut, he grabbed my thighs and picked me up, making my legs swing around his waist. He lowered me onto my bed, his erection throbbing against my pussy.
“Feel this,” he murmured low, sending little thrusts against me. “You have no idea how many times I thought of you ever since we kissed. How I pleasured myself quietly so you wouldn’t hear me through that thin wall.”
I turned wet with need and tilted my pelvis in search of delicious friction. “Then mate with me. I’m ready.”
“By the Three Suns, Katie…”
He sucked the blood from my lips and the doubts from my mind, making me shiver, tremble. Everything about him was glorious, from the way his biceps strained as he held his weight off me, down to his abs contracting at each breath.
A greedy hand slipped underneath my shirt and cupped my breast, exploring its fullness. I moaned when he let his fingers squeeze my nipple, letting it grow taut.
“Beautiful female,” he whispered as he crouched down, letting his tongue trail over the mound. “You set the pace, okay? If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”
“No no no. Don’t stop.”
His smile let my nipple slip into his mouth, and he twirled his tongue around it before he pulled and released it with a smack. “Watch me.”
He backed up and slowly stroked his hand over my shorts and down my leg. Then he picked it up and draped my calf over his shoulder. He kissed my knee, his gaze never breaking from mine.
A million tingles shot through the joint and up my thigh, making me writhe in front of him until my back arched. He placed his kisses systematically, forming a caressing web around everything that once ached.
“All gone,” he said, and let his tongue glide up the inside of my thigh, lowering my leg down.
He lowered himself between my legs, staring down at how his shaft nestled at my folds, the fabric of my shorts all bunched up and damp with lust.
With each thrust he gave against me, his crown worked itself out of the waistband some more. A translucent string of pre-cum formed between the slit of his head and my shorts. A jol
t wrecked through me.
He pressed his mouth onto mine and massaged my tongue with his. His kisses came paced, and he pulled back every now and then, allowing me to watch him grind against me, torturing my shorts.
With impatient fingers, I shoved my hand between us and pushed shorts and panties aside. A braver woman would have grabbed his cock and guided his crown inside me, but I wasn’t that woman. Not yet.
So I waited patiently, but Melek only continued to tease moan after moan from me whenever his hard shaft rubbed over my exposed clit. He replied to each one with dark grunts, even more so when I tousled in his hair.
I placed my soles firmly by my sides and lifted my pelvis, bringing his tip to my entrance when he pulled back. At his next thrust, pressure built there, his flesh so close to parting my lips.
Melek closed his eyes and shook his head, angling his pelvis so he would slide back up and across my pussy. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” I swung my arms around his waist, tugging him closer against me. “I want you to mate me, Melek. Mate me.”
“Fucking shit,” he groaned, gliding over my wet sex faster, harder.
My toes curled, and my pelvis lifted toward the overwhelming pleasure, little spasms forming at the depth of my womb. “Melek, please.”
I wanted that cock of his inside me, purple-veined, shaft glistening with my slick need. But for reasons beyond me, he refused.
He held my gaze and shook his head again. “Too much too soon. Just this for now, okay?”
His flesh rubbed me hard and fast, his moans shattering from the walls. Spasms spread across my belly and deep into my crotch. I had orgasmed many times before, but this one wrecked through me like a storm. It tore me in all directions at once, leaving me torn to pieces and put together again.
“So beautiful,” Melek whispered, watching how I came apart right underneath his dry humps. He cursed low, and I followed his gaze, stared down between us. “Watch me release my seed.”