“Yeah. Not to mention I talked to that lawyer guy the other day, and sure enough, he’s our attorney. He says that anything I tell him is privileged, so I sent him a sealed copy of the fusor plans.
“That, and aside from Linda, Shorty, Lin and the others, I have a nasty, nasty surprise in store for them if I don’t sign onto my website for two weeks. And there’s not a fucking person in the entire fucking world, except you two now, who know I even have one. Much less that after two weeks of inactivity, a little program kicks off and unpacks the website I’ve been developing. I’ve got canned emails with the addresses ready to go to all of the news media and about a couple of hundred other people -- and every fusion bulletin board in the US -- about two dozen of them.”
Kris nodded. “Cool!”
“Yeah, and I figured that if anything happened to me, it would be because of one of two things. Just now, someone trying to steal it, and later, once it’s further along, someone trying to suppress it. If anyone’s trying to steal it, they’ll waste no time going public to claim it -- just look for who is trying to do that. And if someone’s trying to suppress it -- hey, everyone in the world got a copy of the plans!”
Ezra laughed. “I hope it works. Now, why don’t you two go take a walk and let me watch this.”
“Ezra, you know you can write your own ticket with me, from now on, right?” Andie told him.
“Whatever. Just go and check out that there isn’t a train coming from the other end, okay? Try not to stir up the local headhunters.”
Andie grinned and she stood up from where she’d been sitting.
Kris joined her and they walked down the tunnel. It was an odd thing, Kris thought as they went along. It was maybe three hundred feet from the door to where the entrance to the cave was. At one time, the distance had seemed huge and insurmountable. Now, it was short and they stood with their flashlights lowered, looking at the glow in the distance.
“Hot diggety damn!” Andie said. “Come on, Kris!”
The two walked together and turned the corner. The light didn’t seem as bright as it had earlier, but there was an obvious entrance about ten feet farther on. “Come on, Kris!” Andie repeated.
“Andie, you go first.”
“Me? Girl, you’re out of your mind! What if there’s a dragon out there? I want a fifty-fifty chance he’ll eat you first and give me a chance to escape! You and me together, my friend!”
They walked forward, Andie being the first to turn her light off. Kris promptly followed suit. They stopped just before the entrance and Kris laughed. “I forgot to bring the camera.”
“Hey, when MacArthur came ashore on Bataan, the book I read said they took those pictures a couple of times. We’ll do a reenactment later!” She grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled her forward.
The sun was low in the sky, a sky that was gray, like evening was approaching. They were on the flank of a substantial mountain that loomed above them, and the ground in front of them was relatively steep. Kris looked around, taking in everything she could see.
“This is all limestone,” she observed to Andie.
“Yeah. This looks like layers of rock that have tipped up about twenty degrees.” Andie shaded her eyes and looked into the distance. “I’m pretty sure that’s either a huge lake out there, or the ocean. It’s probably two miles away.”
Kris waved to a spot a few feet away. There was what looked like a scrub bush growing there. There were more such bushes dotting the landscape. They were sparse. “This looks pretty dry,” she told Andie.
“It does,” Andie agreed. “Do you see the steps out there -- plateaus that lead down to the water? I’m betting that those are ancient shorelines, because all the rocks I can see are tilted. You’d need something like wave action to level the playing field.”
“We seem to be higher than the highest one of those steps,” Kris observed.
Andie turned and looked at the mountain above them. “There’s not much more vegetation than this all the way to the crest of this mountain -- and I’d say it’s another mile higher than we are now. And we’re probably at two thousand feet here. I don’t recognize the geography, but we could still be on Earth.”
“Well, Ezra pointed out that there were some piles of junk in the big room. He said that it looked more suitable for the Middle Ages than our world. Oh, and he found a sword hilt. He says his fingers fit on the hilt comfortably.”
Andie grimaced. “Well, maybe if nothing else, we have a jim-dandy way of getting around on the Earth.” She laughed. “Of course that means we’re going to have to fight the airlines, automobile companies, and everyone else in the transportation business, as well as the fucking power companies.”
She jerked her head towards the inside. “Let’s go tell Ezra we didn’t rile up any headhunters.”
Kris looked around once more. “I’d call this high desert.”
“Me, too. So, odds are, people or whatever are here will be nomads. Or high tech.”
They returned to the cave and found Ezra patiently waiting in front of where the door should have been.
He’d moved some of the cases of food close to the Far Side Door and was sitting on them. He listened carefully and asked a lot of questions, many of which neither Kris nor Andie could answer.
They’d turned all of their flashlights off except for Ezra’s. The conversation drifted until it finally stopped. “Two hours now, I figure,” Andie said looking at her watch.
“Something is clearly up,” Ezra agreed.
“I am so going to kill those fuckers!” Andie repeated for the thousandth time.
“I don’t want to sound like I’ve given up hope,” Kris said, “at least not this soon. But it was twenty degrees warmer outside. We’ve seen the areas closest to the entrance and there are no signs of large animals...”
“And not much sign, if any, of smaller animals,” Ezra contributed.
“So, I’m in favor of spending the night outside.”
“And how would we let people know where we are if they come after us?”
Andie laughed. “I need a sheet of paper.”
Kris supplied her with one and Andie wrote four words. “Now I need one of those air horns, Ezra.”
Ezra brought it up and peered over her shoulder to see what she’d written. He chuckled as he gave the can to her. Kris held up her hand and Andie passed her the paper. The message was short, succinct, and indisputably Andie: “We’re outside. Blow me!”
Kris gathered up a ration case, while Andie brought along a jug of water and Ezra grabbed a package with some blankets. They went outside.
There was no longer any doubt about it. The sun was descending into the west, and was now barely above the horizon. Ezra looked around the bare expanse. “I’m tempted to say that we should retire into the innermost chamber, but there’s nothing I can see here. Still, a fire will be visible for miles and miles, while you can smell smoke almost as far.”
“So,” Kris told him, “we forgo barbequed marshmallows and the fire to toast them on.”
Ezra nodded his head. “I’ll grant you, I haven’t seen any signs of animals inside. But on Earth, this sort of environment existed all over the southwestern United States and in other places around the world. A lot of those locations had lions or other big cats. They weren’t common and in recent times they avoid people, but who knows what conditions are like here? We should at least sleep in the first chamber. I brought blankets so that we could.”
He surveyed the area again. “And yes, that sure looks like a large body of water off to the west.” He chuckled to himself and Andie looked at him. “Are you taking notes about what we forgot to bring?”
“You bet. No pissant mother fuckers are going to stop me!”
“Well, a pair of binoculars would be good about now.”
“So they would,” Andie agreed. She borrowed another piece of paper from Kris. “Sorry, Kris, I should have been better prepared.”
Kris laughed. “Andie, I’m sure t
he next time you’re kidnapped through an inter-dimensional Far Side door you’ll have all your emergency gear on your back and be ready to hit the other side running.”
Ezra smiled but didn’t laugh.
“Okay, so my optimism is misplaced. Still, I’ve learned one thing from this -- trust my instincts.”
She too looked around. “What really frosts my cake is if the fuckers hadn’t done this, about now I’d be standing here trying to figure out a way to explore this place. Now, I’m too afraid of losing the way back home.”
Not very much later the stars started coming out, and Andie looked up at them when it was full dark. “I don’t recognize these stars.”
“I’ve been south of the equator,” Ezra told her. “These aren’t southern hemisphere stars, either. At least,” he admitted, “I’m about ninety-nine percent sure. For one thing you can see the Milky Way there and I don’t see a river of stars here.”
Kris pointed eastwards, over the mountain. “Look at that!”
“That” was round shape not much larger than a pea. It was almost certainly a small moon.
“This isn’t Kansas, lady and gentleman,” Andie declared.
* * *
Oliver Boyle stood with one hand on Otto’s shoulder, while Helen stood on Otto’s other side, her hand on his other shoulder as well. Standing in front of them a thin man with grizzled gray hair, wearing a fireman’s jacket and a white fireman’s helmet was explaining things. There were still plumes of smoke rising from the Schulz home. The fire had all but leveled it.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Schulz, but I don’t have any information for you at this time. The fire is out now, and my people are searching the debris. As yet, we haven’t found any remains.
“However, we have found evidence of an accelerant that was used to spread the fire. This is virtually certain to have been arson.”
From the near distance, someone was waving her arm vigorously shouting, “Mr. Boyle! Mr. Boyle! Please! I need to speak to Mr. Boyle!”
Oliver really didn’t want to be disturbed at the moment, but he recognized the woman as one of those who had been hired by Kit. He waved her over and the policeman holding the crowd back let her through.
“Linda Walsh, sir, what happened?”
Oliver squared his shoulders. “There was a fire. The fire department said at first that there was a lot of electrical equipment in Andie’s closet, and that’s where they think the fire started. Now, though, they are saying it’s arson.”
“Where are Kit and Art?”
“I have no idea. I assume Crenshaw.”
Linda shook her head. “I was due to help Andie next, and she went ahead with Art. Kit was already here.”
Oliver frowned. “You’re saying there might be five people in there?”
Linda lowered her voice. “I don’t think there are any people in there, if you get my drift.”
Oliver perked up. “Yes, I suppose that’s possible. But the machine...”
Linda laughed nastily. “You have Kit’s phone number? Try calling him.”
Oliver pulled out his cell phone, knowing that there were nearly a half dozen people staring at him, wondering what was going on. He dialed Kit’s number and Kit picked up. “Kit, where are you?”
“I’m at Crenshaw, helping Art with Poppa Two. What’s up, Mr. Boyle?”
He looked at Linda. “He says he’s at Crenshaw with this Art person, working on the project.”
Linda’s laughed turned really nasty. “Kit was here earlier; he and Kris were going back to Crenshaw after Andie and I were ready. Andie all but fired Art this morning, sir. There is no way he should be back at Crenshaw.” She dropped her voice. “I think this was deliberate, sir.”
The fire chief nodded. “It was certainly deliberate.”
Oliver made up his mind quickly. “I think the police should interview one of my assistants, one Christopher Richards, and another associate, Art something or other.”
“Art Foster,” Linda supplied.
“This was a research project with a possibility of a significant return on investment. There may have been foul play.”
The fire chief studied Oliver and the other two adults. “You understand that it is -- unlikely -- at this juncture that my people would have missed even one set of remains. Three was stretching it. Five? Not a chance.”
Linda smiled at him. “There is a possibility that Andie, Kris and that other guy were at the remote site. They may be safe.”
Oliver met her eyes. “Kris said she and Andie would never be there at the same time.”
“Not voluntarily, sir. If my guess is right, Kris and what’s his name were at the remote site, and Andie would have been here with Kit and Art by herself. I don’t know about you, but if I was a betting person, much as I like Andie, I have a feeling two adult males could take a four-and-a-half foot woman unawares and overpower her.”
“You’re saying this might have been murder?” the fire chief asked. He didn’t seem surprised, but then Oliver suspected you don’t get to be a veteran fire chief without having seen a lot of fires.
“I’m saying that I suspect kidnapping at the least,” Linda told him.
“If you give me the cell phone numbers of the three missing persons, we’ll see if we can locate their phones.”
“Sir, if they are at the remote site, they are outside the service area.”
Oliver coughed and recovered.
Otto spoke up. “You’re saying Andie might be okay?”
“Yes, sir. There remains, however, the problem of getting to them.”
She waved at the charred remnants of the house. “You’re going to want to be very careful removing the debris, sir. Particularly around Andie’s closet.”
There was a lot more palaver, then the police had to be brought up to speed and Oliver kept waiting for someone to ask where the remote site was, but they didn’t. At first, he was relieved, then he grew a little concerned, and finally, seriously concerned about their lack of curiosity.
“Chief, we’re going a few feet away to talk; we’ll get back to you.”
The fire chief pressed his earpiece into his ear, and then smiled blandly at Oliver. “I’m sorry, sir. My people have found some cylinders of compressed gas that they believe may be bottled hydrogen. That could be a serious explosive danger. Also, we’ve found a white, powdery substance as well that we can’t identify. It may be toxic.”
“Borax,” Linda said spitefully. “You can’t be serious. And if the hydrogen hasn’t cooked off already, it’s not going to now. Andie only had one small bottle, about the size of a household fire extinguisher.”
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to move people back some distance and close the area,” the fire chief said blandly.
Oliver’s mind had been working furiously. Pretend to be supine and ignorant or start the good fight now?
Linda took the matter out of his hands. She laughed at the fireman. “You have an IQ of about half of Andie’s -- and Kris is pretty smart herself. You are so going to regret not letting us work to get them back.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about, young woman. We have hazardous materials here, and you have to get back. There is a danger of an explosion or explosions, plus there appears to be toxic chemicals present. You have to leave.”
“Consider very carefully what you do,” Oliver told him. “Think about the wife, the kiddies, your pension and your eternal soul.”
“Threats, sir, aren’t useful.”
“Maybe -- and maybe not. That, however wasn’t a threat. Just a promise.”
They got back, but long before he reached the new police line, which, coincidently, he was sure, left the Boyle house inside the closed area, he had Jack Schaeffer on the phone and in motion. Jack promised to mobilize whatever resources that were necessary.
Next, Oliver called David Solomon. “David, what’s going on there?”
“I don’t know. The cops are swarming all over the sound stages. They arre
sted Abe and the guy he was working with -- Shorty, Abe said his name was. They arrested a Chinese guy as well. They told me he was a spy for China. The other two, they’re talking to a big crowd of cops and suits. What’s going on, Oliver?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve got Jack Schaeffer on it... you might want to get your lawyers to coordinate with him. I’ll pick up the tab, David.”
“Sure, I just would like to know what’s going on.”
“Well, my daughter and two others are missing at a fire down the street from my house. The fire department just declared it a hazardous chemical site and have pushed us back beyond our house, even. They may do that there.”
“Jesus! I’ll be ruined!”
“I’ll take care of it, David, I promise. Tell any of the producers and directors to get in touch with Jack Schaeffer or myself, okay?”
There was no moment when Oliver was sure that the connection was broken, but after that, David didn’t answer. Worse, he couldn’t get anyone else on his phone.
He heard Helen speak softly to Otto. “How are you doing, Otto?”
“I’m so angry! Andie’s in trouble and I’m so weak I couldn’t fight off a kitten. I haven’t got a clue what’s going on here, except these bastards are out to get her. Isn’t that right, Oliver?”
“It seems that way, Otto.”
“You and all these others, Oliver, even my daughter, think I’m a stupid fool, don’t you?”
“Otto...”
Andie’s father laughed. “You think my daughter inherited her brains from her mother?” He laughed harder. “Yeah, I won the fuckin’ lottery and took the hundred million dollar cash payout. Do you really believe all those stories that I just sit on that pile and swill beer at the bar?”
“Well...” As a matter of fact, Oliver thought exactly that.
Otto grimaced in pain. “Yeah, right! You think you’re so smart! Just like my daughter! Show her what she expects to see, and she never once dug into my affairs. Oliver, in case you haven’t noticed, the stock market has done rather well since I won that fuckin’ lottery.”
“Well... yes.”
“I like sports bars, Oliver. You know how many sports bars I own?”
The Far Side Page 16