by Maren Lee
“Yes,” she replied. “So ready for your big dick, Ryan. Fuck your bad girl.”
“Have you been bad tonight?” he asked.
“So bad.”
Whack! He smacked her ass again. God, that feels so good. Ryan was the first guy she’d ever been with where she didn’t feel embarrassed asking for the things she felt she needed. He either knew exactly what she needed or he loved that she would ask him to do things like this for her.
“Did you get yourself off tonight, thinking about me?”
“Yes.” She definitely did that with her hot pink vibrator in the shower. The quickest way for her to get off was to think of Ryan.
Whack! Katie felt that one in her teeth. Fuck.
“Yeah? Did you think of my cock drilling this wet, pink pussy?”
Ryan shoved his cock inside of her and pushed her head roughly into the pillows. “Yessss! Oh god. So full. Jesus, shit-fuck-damn-motherfucker,” she cursed out a string as he pulled out and slammed back in.
Ryan grabbed onto each of her hips and started pounding into her. Things were always like this with Ryan. Why he thought he could just come here and snuggle completely flummoxed Katie. This is what they were. Hard, hot, fast, and raw. Katie bit the pillow as Ryan pulled the butt plug partially out of her ass and then shoved it back in.
“How’s that feel, Katie?”
She mumbled with the pillow in her mouth. “Mmmmmm. So good!”
“You like your pussy and your ass filled at the same time? Like I’m fucking you in both places at once?”
She let go of the pillow in between her teeth. “Fuckin’ love it, Ryan.”
“Love it too, baby. Love this pussy. Love this ass. Love how you squeeze my dick no matter what hole I’m fucking. Love fucking you, honey. Love it. So much,” he grunted.
Fuck. He’s saying ‘love’ a little too much right now. Shit, don’t fall in love with him. But suddenly the butt plug was pulled partially out again and shoved back in and Katie forgot all about Ryan saying ‘love’ too much. “Holy fuck!” she shouted.
Whack! He smacked her on the ass again. “Jesus, Ryan,” she gasped.
“You my naughty angel who just needs to be fucked?” he asked.
“Yesssssss,” she breathed out. She’d been many things with Ryan. This was definitely one of them. The fact that Ryan was still playing along made her heart sing. Get the fuck out of here, heart.
“You got it, baby.” He pushed her face further down into the pillows and drilled her from behind. Katie felt her orgasm coming on like a freight train. It hit her. Hard. “Oh, fuck yes. Squeeze my dick, Katie. Fuck. Never want to stop fucking you,” he chanted. She’d had enough sex with Ryan that she could tell he was close. His pumping became faster and more frantic. There was less rhythm involved. She loved this moment where he was completely out of control. He shouted a groan as he finished himself inside of her and then collapsed on her back.
He rolled off Katie and then pulled her down to him so he could spoon her. He slowly pulled out the plug and set it on the nightstand. Katie felt another orgasm ripple through her cunt. Ryan pulled her close to him and held her. Shit. This feels intimate. She tried to pull away, but he snapped her right back into him.
“Ry, I need to go clean up.”
“No,” he responded firmly.
“No? What the fuck, man?”
“Want you sleeping with me seeping out from inside of you.”
What on earth?
“Um, Ryan?”
“Yeah?” he squeezed her again.
“What’s going on here?”
“Nothing. Just told you what I want. I don’t have a reason for it. I just want it. Now go to sleep, Katie.”
“Ryan.”
“Katie.”
“We need to talk, Ryan.”
“So talk.”
“Let go of me.”
“Nope. I can hear you just fine like this. You’re staying in my arms.”
Stubborn. “You’re divorced.”
“You know this, Katie. It’s never bothered you before.”
“It still doesn’t. But if you’re holding me and telling me things like you want your come leaking out of me while I sleep tonight when I may be risking a near certain UTI, we need to talk.”
“Like I said: talk.”
“Do you have any plans to get married again?”
“Nope.”
“Even if you met the right woman?”
“Never getting married again, Katie.”
“Not even if you fell in love?”
“Not even then. Don’t need a piece of paper to memorialize my feelings and I’m not going through another divorce. It’s not happening.”
“Not even if you fell in love with me?”
“Nope.” He said it a little too fast. Too final. That doesn’t hurt, not even a little bit, Katie lied to herself.
“What about kids?”
Ryan laughed. “Katie, you know I have a twelve-year-old and a fifteen-year-old. I’m done.”
“Have you had a vasectomy yet?”
“No.”
“So it’s not impossible?”
Ryan tensed around her. “You told me you have an IUD, Katie.” He was starting to sound irritated.
“I do have an IUD, Ryan. But I’m just trying to determine how awful it would be to be in a never-getting-married relationship with you if I were to get pregnant accidentally. And it seems like it’d be pretty awful and I’d probably end up hating you.”
“Katie.” He sounded angry, but he still wasn’t letting go of her.
“Ryan. Look, I’m twenty-three -”
“A fact I’m reminded of everytime I’m with you, so thanks for bringing it up on your own,” he bit out roughly.
“You don’t have to be a dick, Ryan. I’m just trying to figure you out tonight.”
“We’re a booty call, Katie. You said it yourself. Don’t get any ideas.” This fucking asshole.
Katie laughed. “Okay, douche. You’re the one who showed up here tonight spouting romance. I’m the one who had to shut you down and make sure this was just about fucking. And now you want to cuddle? I think I’m entitled to a conversation.”
“Fine, continue.”
“So you don’t want to get married – in fact, you won’t ever get married – and you will never have more kids. Is that right?”
“That’s right.”
“Look, Ryan. I really like you. I like this arrangement we have. I think you’re amazing. You’re handsome. You’re funny. Your dick is perfection. But this is a booty call and I need to keep it in my mind as a booty call. I’m gonna fall in love with you if we don’t draw lines here.”
Ryan inhaled. “Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spout romance. I just don’t want to lose you, babe. I love what we have, I mean” —he hurried to correct himself— “I really, really like it.”
Damn it. Ryan wasn’t going to be able to draw lines. He was going to suck her in and destroy her. Be done. Now.
“You can stay the night. I don’t want you out on the road this late. But when you leave tomorrow morning, I think it’s best that you never come back. We need to end this.”
“No. No, Katie. Don’t do this,” he squeezed her tighter into him. “I don’t want to lose you. Not right now.”
“Ryan. I can see myself falling in love with you if we go any farther down this road. I deserve forever. And you won’t even consider giving me that. So we should stop this before my heart is ripped into pieces.”
Damn. You're really doing this.
“Fuck,” Ryan replied. “I didn’t mean for this to get messy tonight. I just…I needed you.”
Oh god. Katie felt a sob get stuck in the back of her throat. But she swallowed it.
“And that’s why we need to end this.”
How had tonight turned into this?
Ryan sighed and paused for what felt like an eternity. Katie
wondered if he was going to speak at all. And then he did.
“I get it, babe. I’ll leave in the morning.” He gave her another squeeze and then rolled her to her back. He kissed her softly. Sweetly. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth and pushed his way in, deepening the kiss. Shit. Don’t do this, Katie. But she didn't stop him. She couldn't. Because she also needed him.
He crawled on top of her and spread her legs open with his knee. She spread them wider, inviting him back in. He pushed his already hard dick inside of her, slowly, while staring into her eyes. And then Ryan made love to Katie for the first time.
The last time.
It was slow and deep and romantic. Their lips never left each other’s except to gasp in ecstasy. Her hands caressed his back and squeezed his ass while he slowly pushed in and out of her. It was definitely a goodbye. And when he finished, Katie didn’t clean up. She slept with his come seeping out of her, just like he wanted. He held her in his arms throughout the night, but when she woke up the next morning, he was already gone.
➰
Her heart was racing. Her chest felt tight.
Fuck. Open your eyes!
Katie opened her eyes slowly. All she saw was darkness. Must be early morning. She felt a heavy arm wrapped around her.
She’d been dreaming of her breakup with Ryan, if that’s what it should even be called. They weren’t really together back then, were they? Not officially. No one knew about them. But the sex was amazing and he made her feel amazingly happy even when they weren’t in bed together. She’d cried after he left.
Thank god it was a dream.
That arm around you is Ryan’s, isn’t it? Fuck, please don’t let it be Brian’s. Was it all a dream?
She reached over and grabbed her cellphone off the nightstand and turned on the flashlight feature shining it right in his face. Yes. Ryan.
Oh, thank god.
“Baby, you okay?” Ryan asked, squinting into the harsh light of the iPhone.
“Yeah. Sorry. I was having a nightmare. Reliving it.”
Ending things with Ryan had been horrible. She hadn’t been prepared for the sadness she’d felt, but she knew she would have fallen in love with him had they’d spent any more time together. And he didn’t want what she wanted. Wouldn’t even consider it. So she moved on. Pushed forward. Tried to forget him. And when a hot young surgeon had taken notice that she was single, she’d figured it would help her move on faster. It did. But all she’d done was lose too much of herself by forcing the relationship with Brian, which ended with the fucked up mess that was last night.
“Get out of your own head, gorgeous,” Ryan whispered, running his fingers through her hair.
Jesus. This was fast. Breaking up with Brian. In bed with Ryan. Anyone outside looking in would’ve thought Katie was fucking crazy.
“I’m trying to. I just feel really bad involving you in this mess.” She sighed.
“I wouldn’t be involved if I didn’t want to be. And I’m not the kind of man that is going to stand idly by when someone needs my help. Especially you.” He kissed the top of her head.
Fuck. What are you doing here in another man’s bed, mere hours after leaving your fiancé?
She still had feelings for Ryan. That’s why she was in his bed mere hours after leaving her fiancé. She never stopped having feelings for Ryan. She’d just tried to mask them. The realization hit her like a hammer to the temple. This man is the one. She nearly gasped aloud at that thought.
Instead, she spoke. “Ryan, what are we doing here?”
“I don’t know. I know I want to be with you, Katie. And I don’t want to be just a booty call.” The dim light of dawn was starting to peek through the window so that she could see his features.
Dammit. He hadn’t gotten any less handsome.
Katie smiled. “Ryan, you were never really just a booty call.”
“No? You sure made it pretty clear back then what we were.”
“I’m sorry. I just…was so worried that if I let my guard down that I would fall in love with you. And you don’t want to get married or have kids and I just…” Katie paused. “I still don’t know what I want, Ryan. The thought of cutting out options so early in the game…that’s a dealbreaker for me.”
“I wanna be with you, Katie. If you wanna get married, let’s do it.”
Whoa, boy. Slow down.
Katie laughed. “We should probably take it slower than that, since I just walked out on my fiancé.”
“Are you sure you’re done with him?”
Fuck yes.
“You didn’t see what my house looked like on the inside. I’m fuckin’ done.”
“God dammit. I wanna strangle him for scaring you.” Ryan ran his hand up her arm. Her skin broke out with goosebumps.
“He’s not worth jail time, I promise,” she assured him.
“We can take this as slow or as fast as you want, Katie. Wanna talk about kids now?” He smirked.
Oh god, no. Katie laughed again. “No. We can save that for later.”
“What do you want to talk about now?” he asked, staring at her mouth. Like he wanted to kiss her.
I want him to kiss me.
“Let’s not talk.”
“You just want to stare at each other while we lay here fully clothed?” he said, his eyes still fixed on her mouth.
“I’m fully clothed. You, however, appear to be naked.” She bit her lip.
He smiled. “Top half only. I have shorts and underwear on, I swear. I wasn’t gonna screw this up by going all creepy and crawling in bed naked with a fully clothed woman.”
Katie laughed. “I appreciate your consideration. My brother apparently did that to Lane before they started officially dating. In retaliation, she dumped cold water on his head while he was sleeping.”
“Oh god. I can definitely see Lane doing that. She still married the guy, though, so it couldn’t have been that much of a dealbreaker.”
Katie could see his kind blue eyes and sexy five o’clock shadow even more, now that the light was streaming through the window. Being with him. Being this close to him. It was…intoxicating. Damn. He’s so hot.
“Ryan?” she flicked her tongue out over her lips.
“Yeah, honey?” His attention had slipped back down to her mouth.
“I think I want you to kiss me.”
His eyes darted back up to hers. “Are you sure? Fuck, I want to kiss you. So bad. But I can take it slow, Katie.”
“I know I want you to kiss me.” Fuck, so bad.
“Seriously, Katie. You just went through something traumatic. You just left your fiancé. We can just talk or not talk. Or I can take you to Jake’s. We can do whatever. I just want you to be comfortable.”
He’s way too good of a man. So much self-control. You missed corrupting this sweet, sweet man.
“Ryan.”
“Yeah, babe.”
“Fucking kiss me already!” she demanded.
He laughed. “You sure?”
“I’m sure. I’m ready.”
“Good. But please don’t run off with my heart again, Katie.”
“I ran off with your heart? I didn’t even know you’d given it to me in the first place.” She smiled at him in the stillness of the early morning.
“Every fucking bit that’s left after my kids, baby.”
That’s sweet.
“I’ll take it.” She stroked his arm with her fingertips.
Ryan slid in closer to her. Pulling her tight against him. She could feel his hardness against her and she felt a gush of wetness between her thighs. Fuck. It had been forever since she’d had a really good fuck.
“Warning you now: I’m not letting you go again, Katie.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Fuck, she was ready to come just listening to him. Okay, enough with the serious talk.
“Is that a banana in your shorts o
r are you just happy to see me?” She grinned.
“I’ve been happy to see you all night. I just didn’t push it into your hip until now.” He laughed. “It’s impossible to keep him down around you.”