by Alpha, A
She gets up from the couch and tries to leave, the anger coming off her in waves of red hot mist. She passes me and I grab her by the waist, but this imaginary scenario she has going on in her head has given her a new-found strength.
She fights me as I take her in my arms, but I won’t let go.
I hold her wrists tightly in one hand, and she doesn’t have a chance. I hold the small of her back, pressing her closer to me as I murmur soothingly into her hair. And pretty soon, her shakiness turns from anger to sadness, and she falls apart in my arms.
“Rubi, darlin’,” I whisper against her hair as she begins to sob softly. “What’s wrong? Tell me, baby.”
She all but falls to the floor, and I catch her in the last second, gathering her in my arms. I walk us over to the couch and pull her into my lap. She curls up like a little kid and it fucking breaks my heart to see how vulnerable she is.
“Talk to me,” I beg her, not sure how to help her.
I’ve never been there for a girl. I never even had a friend of the opposite sex. My philosophy is fuck ’em, then leave ’em. But with Rubi, it’s all fucked up. I know I shouldn’t get involved, but I want to help her.
“I’m scared,” she murmurs against my chest, her breath hot on my shirtless body.
“What are you scared of, darlin’?” I ask her, stroking her hair.
She’s quiet for a long time, but I don’t stop my stroking motions. She’ll speak when she’s ready to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of hers.
“That you will leave me,” she admits, sniffling a little. And that small confession all but breaks my heart in two pieces.
“Why would I do that, Rubi?” I ask her, kissing the top of her head soothingly. She makes an attempt to break my embrace, but it makes me hold her tighter.
“Let go,” she says.
“I won’t.” I clutch her closer, unwilling to let her go. “Do you hear me, Rubi? I won’t let go.”
She melts into my arms, those small few words all she needed to hear. And it makes me hurt for her, knowing she’s been let down and has come to expect the worst of people.
“Rubi,” I say. “I’ll always be here.” I’m surprising myself, but for some reason I can’t stop talking. “I’ll do what you want. Always.”
She gives a tired smile, and it makes me feel much better.
I let her stay in my arms for a while, feeling her growing stronger with each moment that passes. Finally, she looks at me with those big green eyes full of wonder. She’s so special. So beautiful.
And I’m so fucked.
“Thank you,” she whispers, reaching for my head and pulling me down, crushing our lips together in a kiss full of promises.
As I let myself go, tasting those sweet lips, I soon realize I’m done for. Because this girl next to me right now… She might be it for me.
Chapter 16 – RUBI
I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like someone flipped a switch inside my head, making my personality change in an instant.
Suddenly, I don’t feel the need to bitch and moan. I don’t need to curse with every sentence I say. It’s not a compulsion anymore, but instead – a choice. And it feels so good.
The last few days have been the best of my life.
It’s been all about Jax. Jax and me. The start of our story together.
I know this bliss won’t last forever. Our parents are planning on returning tomorrow, and we’re enjoying our last moments together.
Despite the amazing, loved feeling, there’s an underlying guilt at the pit of my stomach. Every time I laugh, I guiltily think about what I’m doing and just how wrong this is.
I guess when you know you can’t tell your parents about your new boyfriend you have a problem… And mine is even bigger, because we share a set of parents now. I’m already dreading the conversation, which I know will have to happen sooner or later.
It’s been a short few days, but I would never trade them for anything. Because this is the happiest I’ve ever been – waking up in Jax’s arms. Falling asleep in his embrace. Eating the food he’s made for me, even trying to cook myself. Spending all day at the pool, swimming in the cold water, kissing with abandon.
Today, Susie called me to ask where I’ve been. I’m pretty sure she knows what’s going on, because I was an absolute giggling fool on the phone. She wants to go to the carnival, which is in town today, and I made Jax promise he’d come with us.
I get ready in the evening, wanting to look pretty for the last night we have together, without our parents. So I put on a new dress mother dearest got for me before I left. It’s a pretty, flimsy emerald green dress made of silk that apparently goes well with my hair. I put my hair in a half-up style and add some wedges to go with the dress. I know I’m overdressed, but I want this night to be extra special.
The one thorn in my heel is the fact that Jax is meeting me there. He doesn’t want Susie to suspect a thing, even though I’m pretty sure she already knows about us. When I come down the stairs, it makes me a little sad not to see him waiting for me.
But I hear Susie honking outside, and there’s no time for sadness. I rush outside and get into her car as she interrogates me about what’s been going on. I laugh and remain vague, which drives her crazy.
“You little minx,” she says, throwing me a look and nearly swerving off the road.
“Susie!” I yell in horror. “Eyes on the road!”
“No fuck? No dammit?” she asks, shaking her head. “I don’t know what’s happened to you, girlfriend.”
We’re still laughing when we arrive at the site of the carnival, getting out of the car. Susie has to help me get across the gravel in my high wedges, but my struggle is forgotten as soon as she spots the cotton candy stand. She shrieks in delight and rushes to get in line for the sweet pink candy.
I giggle and follow, reconsidering my choice of footwear. I’m already looking around, trying to spot Jax. I want our so called random encounter to happen as soon as possible.
My eyes scan the crowd and my expression sours as soon as I spot a familiar group of guys, which unfortunately includes Adrian. As soon as he spots me, I look away in a rush, unwilling to spend a moment of my precious time with him.
But then my eyes land on another familiar figure, and this time it’s someone I’m more than a little glad to see. My lips stretch into a smile as I drink Jax in with my eyes. But as soon as I realize what he’s doing, my happy expression falters.
Jax is leaning against a vending machine, wearing a badass leather jacket I’ve never seen on him. As I watch him, he takes it off, revealing a V-neck black tee. His biceps is exposed and bulging, covered with the delicious ink I’ve come to love.
But what’s more disturbing is the person he’s flexing his muscles for. She’s a pretty, petite blonde with perky breasts and a too-short tennis skirt. Her cleavage is practically pressed against Jax’s face.
My lips purse when I see them talking, and I realize I’m fucking jealous. I’m jealous of the way he’s laughing at her, jealous of his eyes appraising her tight, lithe body. I’m seething when he reaches over, poking her as she giggles.
And then Jax’s eyes land on mine and his smile grows wilder.
As he comes towards me, saying goodbye to the blonde, my heartbeat falters. I don’t trust him, I realize with sadness. Not completely. Not yet.
“Hey, darlin’,” he greets me, his signature smirk ever present on his face. “Missed me?”
I make a shushing sound, looking around like someone’s going to burst out of the bushes and bust us. I don’t know why, but I’m already smiling, my cheeks reddening.
Jax laughs at my discomfort, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer, planting a kiss right on my lips, in the middle of the carnival. My mouth gapes in shock, but secretly, I couldn’t be more pleased. He just acknowledged me… I can almost feel the blonde’s jealous gaze upon us.
“What’s going on here?” Susie wonders a moment la
ter, her smile wide as she giggles at the sight of us. We refuse to answer, shooting each other guilty looks, and Susie snorts.
“Come on, lovebirds,” she says with a dramatic gasp. “Let’s have some fun. You can eat each other’s faces when we’ve left.”
Jax smirks, but I can tell he likes her. Susie has a no-fucks-given attitude, and I think she and Jax will get along just fine. For some reason, that makes me feel strangely happy.
We spend a fun evening together, eating sweets and carnival snacks and trying out every single ride in the park. Jax even wins me this goofy, enormous stuffed penguin. I say it’s stupid, but I still insist on lugging him around with me for the rest of the night. There’s a silly smile plastered across my face for the rest of the evening.
Finally, the night comes to an end, and a bunch of us are standing in the parking lot.
“Come on, Rue,” Susie motions me over. “Let me give you a ride home.”
Jax clears his throat, and I look between the two of them, feeling torn. “Erm,” I say, and Susie gives me a hard look. “I guess I’ll just go with Jax. We live in the same house, after all.”
Susie glares at me but ends up laughing it off and winking at me as she comes over for a quick hug. She pulls me in closer and whispers in my ear. “I want to hear all the details tomorrow.”
Jax and I wave them off, and he passes me the helmet to ride his bike. I put it on, but I can’t quite take my thoughts – or eyes – off my stepbrother. I’m smitten, even if I don’t want to admit it out loud.
“You ready, darlin’?” he asks roughly, and I’m already picturing what we’re going to do for the rest of the night when a shrill laugh interrupts us.
“Hey, Rubi,” I hear a voice calling me. I turn toward it and break into a hesitant smile as I spot Adrian. “Leaving so soon?”
“It’s late,” I call back, and he approaches us. Suddenly, the air becomes incredibly tense, and I realize there’s something going on here. I give Jax a confused look, but he’s staring at Adrian.
“Stay a little longer?” Adrian slurs, and upon closer inspection, I realize he’s pretty much hammered.
“We have to go,” I say uncomfortably.
“Come on, Rubi,” Adrian says, a smirk spreading over his face. “You wouldn’t believe the things I have to tell you …”
I don’t have time to comment, because in the next second, Jax gets off his bike, strides over and punches him square in the face.
“Jax!” I yell in shock as Adrian’s head flops backward, sending him sprawling on his feet on the gravel covering the ground. “Are you okay?” I call in Adrian’s direction, furrowing my brows at my stepbrother.
“Oh, I’m mighty fine,” he says, the slur gone from his voice, but his tone cold like a snake’s hiss. He gets up from the floor, wiping away the blood from his split lip. “But your brother is about to regret that punch he threw at me.”
“Come on, Rubi,” Jax groans, pulling on my arm in the direction of his bike. “We don’t need to stick around for this. He’s full of crap.”
I look at him with confusion, not understanding the sudden animosity between these two. When I first met Jax at the beach, he seemed to be getting along with Adrian.
“What’s this about?” I ask, feeling weird because of the way they’re acting, but Jax ignores me, dragging me to his bike and making me straddle the machine. He sits in front of me and places my arms firmly around his waist, starting the bike just as Adrian starts shouting something at us.
“Bye, jackass,” he says with a smirk on his face, waving at the retreating figure of Adrian as we drive off from the carnival. I stare over my shoulder until his silhouette is too small to make out, wondering what just happened.
And I can’t help but wonder if I made the right choice – seeing Jax with that girl, and then the way he just punched Adrian out of the blue…
I hate to admit it, but I might be becoming scared of my own stepbrother.
Chapter 17 – JAX
One last night. A blissful, perfect night with her in my arms, her breathing steady, her heartbeat reassuring against my chest. It feels so goddamn good I’m pretty sure I’ll have trouble sleeping without Rubi beside me in the future.
We wake up in the early morning, and I refuse to get up. Rubi seems to be of the same mind, because she snuggles closer to me, holding me as tightly as her small arms can manage. I can’t stop looking at her, kissing her, thinking about her.
She’s possessed my mind and body, and I’m afraid it’s too late to change that now. And that fucking scares me more than anything in my life.
Finally, at around noon, we both know we can’t put this off any longer. Tony has already left a message on Rubi’s voicemail, letting us know he’s returning with my mother in the early afternoon.
So we get up, grudgingly getting ready. We come to a stop in front of the door that leads to Rubi’s bedroom, looking at each other with a heavy dose of awkwardness. I don’t think either of us wants this moment to end.
I wish I could keep her in this secret room, make the beach house our happy place … No judgment. No witnesses. Just her body and mine, our lips crushed together.
“I guess we should be in our own rooms when they come home,” I tell her hesitantly, and she nods, since we both know it’s the right thing to do.
Tony’s a protective man, and I’m sure any guy who had feelings for his daughter would be in trouble. The fact that I’m Rubi’s stepbrother pretty much condemns me from the start.
“I should go then,” I say more firmly, but my eyes are asking Rubi to say no. When she raises her eyes to me, her gaze is full of sadness. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” I ask her.
“I just…” She breathes a heavy sigh, and I take a step closer. My fingers travel up her arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake on her perfect skin.
“What?” I ask her, needing her to confide in me. And I know she will, the change in her already remarkable after just a few short days together. She’s a different girl, and the thought of how much better she could get with my help makes me happy.
“I’m worried,” she admits, her voice breaking over the words. “I’m worried this ends now. You got me, you didn’t have time to grow tired of me, so it would be perfect … To just cut it off, before it hurts even more.”
She flutters her eyelashes in an almost violent way, and I tip her chin backwards with my fingers, making my little doll look at me. “Stop, Rubi,” I order her. “You’re saying that so you don’t get hurt.”
She tries to look away, but my fingers slide over her lips next and her eyes become glued to mine, her mouth parting in a sigh. “I know you still want me,” I say confidently, but before she can roll her eyes, I go on. “I won’t leave you. Because I want you just as much, and I have every intention of making this work – one way or another.”
A small smile lights up her face, and I lean down, unable to resist one last kiss while we’re free of our parents’ company. My lips land against her mouth, and she opens those lips up for me like she’s parched for my touch.
“Darlin’,” I groan against her lips, pulling her closer as she grinds her body against mine. This is going to be a problem, because there’s already just one thing on my mind …
I give her a long, hard kiss, tasting her, knowing I’m getting more and more addicted with each lick she lets me have.
And then I hear noise downstairs and spring away from her like she’s just burned my mouth with those full, pouty lips.
Rubi’s eyes widen in anticipation, and I clear my throat, standing awkwardly in the hallway. Our parents call to us from downstairs, and I know we’ll have to greet them sooner or later. I smile apologetically at my baby doll, then motion towards the staircase with my head.
“Shall we?” I ask, my voice full of regret and resignation.
She nods, and we walk downstairs, making sure to keep a good distance between us. Anyone who saw us would think it innocent… I wish it wasn’t.
“Rubi!” Tony bellows as soon as we reach them, enveloping his daughter in a big hug. I smile and my mom is soon to follow, settling for a ruffle of my hair. “Hello, Jax,” she says and I give her a hug nonetheless.
Upon closer inspection, mother looks pretty tired, with bags under her eyes and limp hair. She always looks amazing, and it’s a little strange seeing her out of sorts.
My eyes land on Tony next, and I see he looks a bit under the weather, too. I don’t comment, instead slapping him on the back good-naturedly. “Hope you had a good trip?” I ask them.
All they do is look at each other, their eyes full of guilt. What in the name of hell is going on here?
I furrow my brows, but a quick look at Rubi tells me she’s oblivious. I’m not about to point out there’s something wrong, because I don’t want to worry her. In my mind, I’ve already decided I need to get to the bottom of this, though.
Tony leads us all into the kitchen, exclaiming he needs a good home-cooked meal. The three of us volunteer to make dinner, and he leaves to unpack their stuff.
Once again, I’m seeing a new Rubi. I love the way she is with my mom, so at ease, always laughing and chatting away. I don’t say much, but a small smile plays on my lips as I pretend to help around the kitchen, even though they’re doing most of the work.
An hour or later, they send me upstairs to get Tony, and I retreat laughing, leaving them to their whispering. It makes me so fucking happy. I’m already convincing myself we can get my mother on our side before we tell Tony what’s going on between us.
The upstairs is quiet, and I give Mom and Tony’s bedroom door a tentative knock. No-one answers.
I crinkle my forehead, knocking again, but once more – no answer. I open the door, and I am surprised by the scene in front of me.
The luggage our parents brought with them hasn’t even been touched – the two suitcases are still lying on the floor, unopened. My eyes scan the room for Tony, finding him sprawled on the bed, snoring away happily.
I stifle a laugh, poking him. It takes a couple of seconds, but I have his attention. “Oh, Jax,” he says tiredly.