by Kendra Riley
For them, becoming a part of the ‘gang’, so to speak, was for life – it was like getting a tattoo without the choice of cover up or removal. And for a while, that was exactly what Damien had done. He’d backed off. Bit by bit. Until soon he was only out on the streets maybe once a week or once every two weeks. He’d found a job working for a carpenter and found that he actually quite enjoyed working for his money. Not only that but he found that he was good with his hands. And for the first time in a long time, he found himself belonging to a society that he never though he would belong in. Then, he moved to a different part of town. It wasn’t too far away – he still couldn’t afford things like plane trips. But it still meant he wasn’t accidentally bumping into gang members. And he was now closer to work. He’d made up something about needing to be there for family and they had accepted it. Family was the one thing that they all agreed was important. Well, some more than others. In a different part of town, with a new job and finally a new apartment, Damien found his new life start to unfold.
It had taken a long time for him to finally feel at ease out in the world even though years later, he still found himself looking over his shoulder each time he went out. And admittedly, he still sometimes considered taking the easy way out whenever he walked past an easy target. He’d get so close to doing something that he knew he would instantly regret and then he’d pull away at the last minute. He still wasn’t sure if he could ever truly shake off a past that had come so easily to him.
And then he met Hazel.
Hazel Josephine Rose was one of the most beautiful girls that Damien had ever met. She had dark brown hair that swished as she walked, darker eyes that held genuine kindness and a smile that was hard to ignore. From afar she looked quite normal. She was slim but not too slim, tall but not too tall. And yet, when Damien had seen her up close, he had known that she was going to be trouble for him. Trouble because there was no chance that he would be able to stay away. He couldn’t quite place what it was about her that had entranced him so much but she captivated him from the very beginning. Damien had been with plenty of girls in the past, and many could’ve easily passed for models. And yet it was Hazel that he thought about when he went to bed at night.
He had met her at a coffee shop. She’d been sitting with her head in a book and he’d walked past and knocked his coffee all over her. It hadn’t been on purpose. A waitress had walked past at the same moment and bumped him.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
It had gone all over her white blouse and some of it had landed on her book. He noted with interest that she had wiped furiously at the book and didn’t seem too worried about her clothes.
“Oh, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” She hadn’t even looked up. She was still trying to wipe the book.
“Here, let me help you.” He had grabbed a cloth from the counter and dabbed it over the book. He thought about dabbing her blouse too but figured that it wouldn’t go down so well. Especially given to where the stain had formed.
“Oh thank you, you shouldn’t have.” She had finally locked eyes with him and in that instant Damien had wondered if there truly was such a thing as love at first sight. It must be lust, he had thought and tried not to look at her now see-through top.
“Hang on, let me get you a coffee.”
She had protested but he had dashed up to order her a cup and then ordered himself another one at the same time. He brought them both to the table and then sat down. She didn’t seem to mind that he had now suddenly invited himself over.
“Thank you,” she said and took a sip, closing her eyes as she let the caffeine take hold of her. He did the same.
“The coffee’s good here. Although you wouldn’t think so the way I just threw it all over you.”
“That’s okay, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a caffeine shower.”
“And? Any good?” he asked.
“Hmm… not so much. Definitely better to drink it.”
“Great, I’ll keep that in mind. So, what are you reading?”
“Oh,” he noticed that she was blushing, “It’s a children’s book. Uh… I’m a teacher. I like to read the books first so that I know what’s going to happen before I read them out loud. You know, in case they have questions and stuff.”
“What age?”
“Seven to eight.”
“So how was the book?”
“Kind of cute to be honest. I’m starting to reconsider my goal of finishing War and Peace. Might as well stick to just kids’ books. They’re short, sweet, funny and filled with life lessons that you only quite understand when you’re an adult. It’s the school's book, which is why I was so worried about messing it up. I’m not really supposed to be taking the books outside of the school.”
She had whispered that last part and Damien had felt instantly bad that this was the worst thing that she had done in her life. What would she think if she knew what he had done?
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul. So, you haven’t told me what the book is called?”
She’d turned it over to show him and he had burst out laughing.
“When the cow went missing and the chicken had gone astray.”
“Also,” he had said between laughter, “adult books just don’t have the same amount of creativity when it comes to their titles. You know what, you’ve swayed me, I think I’m going to start reading children’s books now too.”
“Oh, you will not be sorry.”
And just like that the two of them had spent the next two hours chatting. Two more cups of coffee and no food, and they had basically staggered out of the café as if they were drunk.
“This high on caffeine thing is fantastic!” she exclaimed, her arms swinging wildly in the air. And when he had asked for her number she had agreed. Just like that.
Hazel Josephine Rose was the most beautiful girl that he had ever met – inside and out. The only problem was that she was too scared to fully let herself go, too afraid to trust again, all because of some asshole ex-boyfriend that didn’t know a good thing if it was staring right in front of him. And boy was she a good thing. The two of them had become friends who flirted just on the edge of no return. This went on for a good few months and Damien couldn’t imagine his life without her – even if they were nothing more than friends for that time. He wanted more but he didn’t want to push. And then, one night… one glorious night… she had allowed him in. And just like that, they were an item.
When Damien met her parents he thought that he had finally figured out what he wanted in life. He knew what he had been missing all along and he could also see just how much he had messed up. He had thought about his brother, who had once been his biggest ally, and knew that he had hurt him a great deal. For twelve long years, he had pulled away from society and never once allowed himself to love or be loved. Until Hazel.
But if there was ever such a thing as karma, it had come back to bite him on the backside, because the moment he thought that his life was finally where it should be, it all changed right before his eyes. All because of a past that he couldn’t seem to shake. All because of one phone call that he should never have taken.
The phone call. It was at Hazel’s lovely family lunch where his phone had rung. An unknown number he hadn’t thought twice about picking up. The last thing he had expected was for Tom to be on the other end. Tom who he hadn’t spoken to in almost two years.
“I need your help, Damien.”
“Tom, what the hell man? You know I’ve left all of that. How did you get my number?”
“Come on, Damien, you know there’s always a way.”
“What’s wrong, Tom?” Damien had sighed.
“Look, things have gotten bad around here. I’ve gotten myself into a whole heap of trouble and I am desperate for some money. I kind of agreed to help some guy out and I need your help.”
“What did you agree to?”
“He wants me to rob a bank for him.”
�
�What the hell, Tom?” Damien had said again. “That’s a lot bigger than just stealing wallets.”
“I know. Look, the bank opens super early on a Monday. 6am. So the plan is to go in early, like be there even before it opens, point the gun at them, get the money and go. The public doesn’t have to get involved and nobody needs to get hurt. In and out. A quick job.”
“Have you lost your mind? It’s a bank, dude, there’s going to be security.”
“Well, here’s the crazy part. We’ve been watching that bank for quite some time now, and for some reason the security only arrives at 6.30. Which gives us a full thirty minutes to do what we have to do. We can be out of there before anyone finds out.”
“Why do you keep saying we?”
“Damien, please. I need your help. I can’t do this by myself. You’ll get a big portion of what I get. I promise.”
“It’s not about the money, Tom. I’ve moved on. I actually have a job that I like now. It’s taken me a long time but I’ve finally gotten my shit together. I really don’t need this.”
“Damien, I hate to ask you this and I promise it will be the one and only time. But… you owe me.”
And Damien had sighed then. It was true. He owed Tom. Tom had saved his life. He couldn’t turn his back on him. Not after that. It will be quick, he told himself, in and out and then I’ll be in the clear for good. Then I can concentrate on a future with Hazel.
But Tom had been wrong. The security had arrived at ten minutes past six. Just as they were about to leave.
Chapter3
Damien
Two years later
“Damien Carson. Please follow me.”
Damien followed the burly man who he had come to know as Baldy over the past years. Baldy was, as predicted, completely without hair – even his eyebrows were so faint they were barely visible. It had been rather strange the first time that Damien had caught sight of him but soon it just looked normal, just as the rest of his days had suddenly become normal. Damien often reflected just how quickly the mind and body adapted to its surroundings.
“Okay, Carson. This is it. You’ve done your time and you’ve paid for your crime.”
Damien grimaced. “Is that the line you use on everyone who leaves?”
“Oh yeah, every single time.”
“Well, it’s corny but I have to admit, it’s good to hear.”
“It’s been real, Carson. Now bugger off and don’t you dare come back here again. You’re actually one of the guys I liked in there. And trust me, I don’t come across many of those.”
“Seriously? But you gave me so much hell inside.”
“As a guard, I learned a very long time ago not to show preference for one inmate over another. It’s no harm for me but for the prisoner that’s getting the preference – it becomes torture. So really, me being horrible to you was actually a way of me being nice to you.”
Damien got it. He’d only – which was nothing compared to some people – been in jail for two years but he’d already figured out the ins and outs of the place. There were just certain rules and regulations that you had to abide by.
“Well, I’d like to say that I’m going to miss you, Baldy, but I’m not.”
“Yeah, you will. You just won’t miss this place. Now get out of here and for God sake stop calling me, Baldy. It’s Peter, and you know it.”
Damien grinned, gave him a hug and walked over to gather his things. It was a small bag, he hadn’t had much on him when he had arrived, but it contained his clothes, his wallet and his phone. It felt strange to have personal items on him again. And when he put on his clothes, it felt even stranger. It was as if he suddenly had an identity – as if he wasn’t just a number in a sea of other numbers.
Damien walked out of Ashmount Prison and took a deep breath. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been outside in two years – they got plenty of ‘outside’ time each day – but there was something very different about being outside without the containment of four walls, knowing that you could just keep going. He had been waiting for this moment for a very long time and he had often wondered how he would feel when he stepped out for the first time. He had expected to just feel happiness. What he hadn’t anticipated was the influx of emotions that would hit him all at once. Happiness was one of them. So were excitement, nervousness and trepidation. He knew that he had a lot of explaining to do and a lot of damage to fix.
One day he had been out in the real world with real connections and the next he had vanished into thin air. His boss must’ve wondered why he never came home, his landlord must’ve noticed when he never paid the rent, and of course his girlfriend must’ve thought that he was just another guy that had let her down. Hazel. Hazel. Hazel. Damien had done nothing but think of her the entire time he was there. And now that he was out he knew he would have to find her. A new emotion caused through him: fear.
Just then a car pulled up and startled him out of his thoughts. Wesley.
It had been the only number that he had known by heart and the only person that he had thought to call. He hadn’t spoken to his brother in years and yet the minute they asked him who they should call upon his release, the name ‘Wesley’ was the first that came out of his mouth. He wasn’t even sure if his brother would come. After all, it wasn’t as if Damien had ever been a good brother to him.
Wesley got out of his car and walked towards him. Damien noted how well he looked. He was clean shaven, his hair cut short against his head and he looked as if he spent a lot of time in a gym. He looked neat and tidy but for once he wasn’t wearing a suit. Just a simple pair of jeans, a well-pressed shirt and sneakers. He looked younger than Damien even though he was a few years older. Damien put out his hand and braced himself for an awkward hand shake followed by an even more awkward car ride. But Wesley just grinned at him and shook his head and then came forward and enveloped him in a bear hug. It took all of Damien’s resolve not to cry.
“I’ve missed you, bro,” Wesley said.
“I’ve missed you, too. Thanks for coming.”
“Hey, like I always told you – I knew you’d end up here one day.” Wesley punched him in the arm as if to tell him that he wasn’t being completely serious (even though they both knew that he was).
“Yeah, and as the older brother, I should’ve known you were always right.”
“Ah, finally, the man understands. Now come on, hop in, we have a long ride ahead of us.”
Damien got in the car and then whistled. “Nice set of wheels man.”
“I’m glad you approve. Hey, do you remember those bikes we used to have as kids?”
Damien groaned. “How could I forget, man! One blue and one pink. And guess who got the pink?”
“Well, you were the youngest.”
“I was so embarrassed by that thing. I tried to peel off all the paint and it ended up looking like a complete disaster. Plus I didn’t want to upset Dad because it was the only two that he could afford. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful but, man, I really hated that thing so much. And I hated you for getting the cool blue one.”
Damien went silent before speaking again. “We were friends then. You and I. Just before Mom and Dad died. We were friends.”
Wesley looked at him strangely then. Damien never wanted to speak about their parents. “We were. Hey listen, I don’t know about you but I’m starving and we still have another two hours or so until we get home. How about some lunch? I came across some place on the way here. It’s about ten minutes away. Their sign says they do the best burgers in town.”
“From the looks of this place I think they do the ONLY burgers in town.”
“Well then, they’re not lying.”
“That would be great, Wesley. I’m starving. In fact, I’ve been starving for two years. Prison food ain't exactly home cooking.”
They pulled into the pub a short while later and even though it was run down and slightly garish, it was still the most beautiful sight that Damien had seen in a long time.
<
br /> “What will it be, boys?” a plump woman with rosy cheeks and a wide smile said to them as soon as they found a table.
“Well, it says you’re known for your burgers. Any recommendations?”
“There’s really only one that you should go for. It’s the triple bacon and triple cheese combo. It comes with a side order of fries and a chocolate milkshake. And while you’ll look at it and think that there is no way you’ll be able to finish it – well, you will. Because it’s really that good.”
“I’m sold. I’ll take one,” Damien said.
Wesley on the other hand looked conflicted. Then he shook his head and grinned, “Ah hell, I’ll take one too. Screw the diet.”
“You’re on a diet?” Damien asked the moment the waitress had left. “The guy who could eat whatever he wanted and still stay skinny?”
“Not a diet. A way of life. Ah, sounds a bit silly right now. But it’s worked. And I still eat as much as I used to, if not more, but now I just eat the right things.”
“You are disturbingly muscular,” Damien noted and pointed to his arms.
“And you are disturbingly skinny.”
“Prison will do that to you.”
Wesley shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then looked at Damien. “So, are we going to skirt around the issue all day or are we just going to get right to it? I mean, we’re acting like we’ve been friends for years and we both know that’s not true. We’re brothers, sure. But friends, no, we’re not friends. You called and I came and I suspect and hope that you would do the same had the roles been reversed. But you owe me a lot of explanations. I actually have no idea why you are even in jail, how long you have been there and how you got out. We’ve got this whole lunch to get through and a long journey home. I think that’s enough time to catch me up.”
Damien sighed. He knew this was coming. He’d thought over and over again about what he was going to tell Wesley and he now suddenly couldn’t remember a thing.
“Just start at the beginning,” Wesley suggested.