by Andrews, Amy
Afterwards he took her down to the water, and they climbed on board a yacht which sailed them under the Sydney Harbour Bridge, past the Opera House and around to Watsons Bay. They dined on fresh seafood and drank champagne as the sun sparkled like party lights on the surface of the harbour.
She looked at Nathan over the rim of her champagne glass. ‘You look tired.’
He chuckled. ‘That’s because I’m sleeping with a nymphomaniac’
Jacqui smiled. ‘That’s the pot calling the kettle black.’
Nathan’s laughter fizzed through her blood like the champagne bubbles on her tongue.
‘Seriously,’ she said, leaning forward and snatching his sunglasses off his face. His usually clear green gaze looked bleary, as if he had a hangover. ‘You look old.’
‘Hey!’ he protested, squinting as the sun stabbed into his weary eyeballs.
‘Do you always keep up this insane pace? I mean, you get home long after I’ve gone to bed, and then...’ She stopped and blushed.
‘And then you keep me up for hours,’ he supplied.
She ignored the way his deep baritone made it sound deliciously dirty. She’d been so swept along the last couple of weeks, trying to come to terms with her crazy new life, she hadn’t realised until now — until this moment of stillness — that they hadn’t actually talked about anything of consequence since that day on the beach.
‘I don’t think you even kept these kind of hours as a resident.’
He shrugged, retrieving his sunnies, feeling the instant relief behind his eyeballs as the lenses cut through the harsh sunlight. He made a quick dismissive gesture with his hands. ‘I thrive on it.’
It occurred to her then that, apart from when they were out socialising or when he was making love to her, he just didn’t seem very...content. She’d been so busy shoring up her emotional defences she hadn’t been paying attention to him.
She searched his face, frustrated by her inability to see his eyes. ‘But are you happy?’
Her question cut right to the centre of the persistent well of discontent that never seemed to be far from the surface, and he cursed her intuition.
‘Of course,’ he dismissed. ‘This is the culmination of all my dreams, what I’ve been working towards.’
Jacqui felt a prickle of unease at his terse reply. She reached for his glasses again and pursed her lips as he moved his head to evade her grasp. ‘Really? You don’t come to bed and talk for hours about your day.’
‘That’s because I’m too busy making love to you.’
She ignored him. ‘I remember when you couldn’t wait to tell me about the patient you’d saved, or the baby you’d delivered, or the latest joke old Dulcie in Rehab told you.’
In the two weeks she’d been back in his world she hadn’t witnessed anything that told her he actually enjoyed his work. He was about to take his company public — surely that deserved some level of conversation?
Some degree of excitement?
‘You’re naked and in my bed, and probably only here for another few weeks. Forgive me if I see talking as overrated.’
‘Nate.’ She didn’t bother to keep the reproach out of her voice.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. ‘It’s not medicine, Jacqui. I’m not saving people’s lives. It’s dry and dull and boring.’
Jacqui quirked an eyebrow. ‘Your words. Not mine.’
He made an exasperated noise at the back of his throat. ‘I meant it’s hardly pillow talk.’
‘How much actual medicine do you do these days?’
He shrugged. ‘The odd high-profile client. Maybe half a day a week. The demands of the company have pretty much kept me away for the last few years.’
Jacqui shook her head, appraising his suit and tie. He looked every inch the grim businessman. ‘And this is what you want?’
Nathan’s mouth flattened into a thin line. ‘This is the way it is.’
Hardly the same thing. ‘And that’s all right by you?’
Nathan tore his glasses off and threw them down on the table in disgust. ‘What do you want to hear, Jacqui? Do you want to hear that I’m working every hour God sends because I’m terrified that I’m going to mess this up and end up like my old man, ruining the lives of everyone who works for Trent Fertility? Do you want to hear that, yes, these last few years I’ve had this nagging sense of something being missing from my life?’
He paused and searched her eyes, saw the earnestness there, the compassion. He took a deep breath.
‘I’ve got too much riding on this to pander to some airy-fairy, can’t-quite-put-my-finger-on-it feeling,’ he said. ‘I don’t have the time. My whole life has been working towards this point, Jacqui. My biggest goal is about to be realised. I swore the day Mum came to school to tell me about Dad that I would realise his dream for him. And I’m here. And pretty damn content about it too. So, can we please just drop this?’
His green gaze held her enthralled with its zeal-like intensity. Her heart broke for the teenager who’d never come to terms with a father who’d cared more about his business failures than his personal successes.
Like a wife and child who loved him.
Her sudden conviction that Nathan was unfulfilled beneath his Italian suits and flashy car was absolute, but the man was forty-two and a billionaire — he didn’t need a mother. She was only here for another few weeks. He needed a wife, not a conscience.
Jacqui forced a smile to her lips and lifted her champagne glass. ‘Consider it dropped.’
A week later Nathan picked Jacqui up for lunch with the visiting CEO of a pharmaceutical company. His phone rang and he answered it via his Bluetooth earpiece. Jacqui listened absently as she looked out of the window. Nathan was trying to placate somebody.
He pushed the button to end the call and turned to her. ‘I’m sorry. There’s a bit of a crisis at work. I have to go in.’
Jacqueline nodded, well used to frantic calls from Vince or people at the office interrupting them. ‘Please don’t let me keep you from the world of high finance.’
Nathan glanced up at the sharpness of her tone and frowned. ‘No, no — it’s the clinic. A patient’s having a bit of a...meltdown. I’m sorry. I need to see her.’
Jacqueline blinked. ‘Oh.’ She was momentarily speechless. ‘Of course.’
Nathan changed direction and was parking in his reserved space at the Paradise Private Hospital ten minutes later.
‘They have a really nice coffee shop on the ground floor,’ Nathan said as he unbuckled. ‘You can wait there for me.’
‘Actually, would you mind if I come too?’
It had been years since she’d seen Nathan in action as a doctor. She’d seen the businessman twenty-four-seven since coming to live with him, but ever since their conversation last week she’d been wondering about the doctor more and more.
Plus, she had to admit to a certain curiosity from a purely professional standpoint. What did Nathan’s clinic look like? What were his staff like? Did he have up-to-date magazines in his waiting room?
Did he still look mighty fine with a stethoscope slung around his neck?
Nathan faltered, surprised at the request. ‘If you want. It might be a bit boring.’
Jacqui almost laughed at his deeply furrowed brows. ‘You think lazing around your apartment all day is stimulating?’
He shook his head at her. ‘A lot of women would kill for an apartment with that view.’
Jacqui gave him a sad smile. ‘You should know by now that’s not me.’
They entered one of his exclusive suites a minute later. A harried-looking woman, her eyes swollen and red, her belly large with child, jumped at him the second he entered the reception area.
‘I’m so sorry, Nathan. I know it’s irrational. I know it’s stupid. But I can’t lose another baby. I just can’t.’
Jacqui’s gut clenched at the emotional frailty of the stranger. She was obviously distressed, but everything else about her �
� from her suit to her chic hairstyle, to her trendy frames — said capable, kick-ass, corporate go-getter.
Nathan placed his arm around his patient’s shoulders, his hand rubbing gently. ‘It’s okay, Sonya. Of course you did the right thing contacting me. We’ll do an ultrasound. You’ll see everything’s fine.’
Jacqui watched as the woman who’d looked as if she was about to crumple to the floor a second ago responded to Nathan’s assurance. She gathered herself, looking around, the colour in her cheeks heightening as she suddenly became conscious of everyone in the waiting room pretending not to notice her, conscious of Jacqui.
‘Oh, hello,’ she said. ‘Sorry, Nathan. Did I pull you away from something?’
‘Not at all.’ Nathan smiled. ‘Sonya, this is Jacqueline, my...wife.’
Sonya seemed nonplussed for a moment, and then recovered. She held out her hand to Jacqui. ‘Oh, I didn’t realise...That is, I didn’t know...Oh, dear, I’m terribly sorry. I’m afraid I’m not very eloquent these days. My IQ seems to have fallen incrementally with each week.’
Jacqui gave a half-laugh as she shook the other woman’s hand, liking her instantly. ‘It’s okay.’
‘Are you a doctor, too?’
Jacqui blinked at the rapid topic-change. ‘Sort of.’ She laughed. ‘I’m a vet.’
‘Oh! I love vets. If I wasn’t so happily married and—’ she looked at her stomach ‘—so huge, I’d put the hard word on mine. He saved our darling Jock’s life when he got tick paralysis.’
Jacqui kept a straight face. She didn’t know this woman from Adam, but she’d bet her last cent her pre-pregnant self wouldn’t have been anywhere near as forthcoming. ‘Er, yes, that can be very nasty.’
Nathan blinked. He’d known Sonya for nine years. They were friends. She ran her own PR consultancy. He’d never seen her so...scatterbrained. ‘Is Brian coming?’ he asked.
Sonya pouted. ‘No. He had to fly to Perth early this morning.’
Nathan nodded and patted her hand. ‘Okay. Well, let’s get one of the nurses to sit in with us while we do this, huh?’
‘Oh, no — wait.’ Sonya turned to Jacqui. ‘Do you think you could?’
Jacqui looked at the woman who had been a total stranger until a minute ago. Still was, really. ‘Er...’ She glanced at Nathan. ‘I suppose so. Are you sure?’
Sonya nodded happily. ‘Absolutely.’ She grinned manically for a few seconds, and then it faded. ‘Sorry, it’s probably not very appropriate.’ She bit her lip. ‘I apologise. I’m really not myself these days.’
Jacqui was so taken by her frankness, by her candour, she couldn’t refuse the woman. It was as if she had pregnancy-induced Tourettes. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
Sonya pulled her into a huge hug and Jacqui laughed at the spontaneity. She caught Nathan’s frown over the other woman’s shoulder. ‘Unless, of course, Nathan would rather I didn’t?’
Nathan shrugged. ‘Fine by me.’ And they all trooped into his office.
Jacqui was pleasantly surprised. She’d expected it to be in the same awful minimalist style evident in the reception area. All white on beige on cream, with expensive but indiscernible art and discreetly elegant indoor plants.
Instead it was colourful. Busy. Cute prints of babies in flower pots decorated the walls.
A high, wide couch stood against one wall, an ultra-expensive looking ultrasound machine stood nearby. A large toy box stood against another wall. Nathan’s desk, slightly chaotic, sat in the middle.
He shrugged out of his jacket and helped Sonya onto the couch as Jacqui hovered at the end. Her gaze was drawn to a large corkboard attached to the wall, and her eyes skimmed the photos pinned to it as Nathan placed his stethoscope on Sonya’s belly while he waited for the machine to boot up.
The photos were amazing, and Jacqui’s heart just about crashed to a stop. They were of Nathan. And babies. Lots and lots of babies. And lots of happy couples. There were so many of them they overlapped in places, and there wasn’t a millimetre of cork to be seen anywhere.
In some he was in theatre greens and the babies were still wet, covered in vernix and blinking blearily at their bright new world. In others the babies were wrapped and snuggled peacefully in layers of soft cloth as he held them close, and in the rest he posed with ecstatic couples nursing their precious bundles in hospital beds or here in his office as he looked on.
Jacqui noticed a few famous couples amongst the faces. But mostly she noticed, amidst this incredible montage of his career, how indescribably happy he looked. In every single snap. How joy shone from his face as he looked down at the little lives he’d helped bring into the world. How big were the grins he directed at his clients.
How utterly, completely, totally...content he looked.
She hadn’t seen him look like that in the last few weeks at all. Not flying in his private helicopter or talking about the float or rubbing shoulders with the business elite.
Not even in bed had he been that unguarded.
Nathan chuckled, and she glanced at him. She saw it again. The look from those snaps. The snaps that told a story about a man happy with his lot. Enjoying his work. The absorption, the confidence, the ease in those photos were all there in his face right at this moment as he doctored Sonya.
He was relaxed — in his element.
She watched surreptitiously as he chatted with his patient, pointing to the ultrasound screen. He laughed again, and she watched how Sonya’s fears seemed to melt away like a mirage, as if they’d never existed.
Nathan leaned forward and flicked a switch and the whole room was filled with the amazing staccato rhythm of a baby’s heartbeat. Whop, whop, whop. Fast and steady. Jacqui’s skin goosed at the sweetness of the noise, the ache in her chest throbbing anew at knowing it was a joy she’d never experience.
She watched as Nathan squeezed Sonya’s hand and passed her a tissue as a fresh wave of tears filled his client’s eyes. ‘Your little girl’s doing really well,’ Nathan assured her. ‘Her heartbeat is strong, and she’s really kicking around in there.’
Sonya nodded, blowing her nose. ‘Thank you, Nathan. Thank you. So you don’t think I should have an early C-section?’
‘She’s only just thirty-five weeks’ gestation, Sonya. Let’s give it a bit longer, okay?’
‘Of course. I’m so sorry to have wasted your time.’
‘Hey,’ Nathan chided as he wiped the gel from Sonya’s belly. ‘If you want to come and have an ultrasound every time you’re feeling a bit wobbly, that’s fine. Just ring.’
Sonya half sat up, pulling her shirt down. ‘Really?’ She sniffled.
Nathan squeezed her hand again. ‘Really. That’s what we’re here for.’
Sonya launched herself up and pulled Nathan into a big hug. ‘You have no idea how much that means to me,’ she whispered fiercely.
Jacqui watched as he laughed, gave it a few seconds, then gently extricated himself.
Sonya climbed off the couch and looked at her. ‘He’s the best,’ she said. ‘Don’t let him go — he’s solid gold.’
Jacqui nodded. ‘Yes ma’am.’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ Nathan murmured when they were alone. He turned to the machine, busying himself with storing the data and logging off. ‘Sonya and Brian are old friends. They lost a baby a couple of years ago at thirty-seven weeks after years of infertility. She’s just really paranoid.’
Jacqueline could well imagine why. She heard the empathy in his voice and was curiously touched. ‘That’s awful, Nate.’
He nodded. It had been devastating for Sonya and Brian. And for him. He wiped off the probe head, and then used a sterile wipe to disinfect it for the next client while he waited for the computer system to shut down.
Jacqui waited, crossing her arms, staring at him. Waited for him to get it. Waited for him to realise that seeing Sonya, what he’d done for her today, had been the act of a truly caring physician.
Nathan looked at her. Her toffee gaze was
watching him with a startling intensity. She raised an eyebrow at him.
‘What?’ he asked warily.
‘You were great with her.’
Nathan shrugged. ‘She just needed some reassurance.’
Jacqui waited some more. ‘Don’t you get it, Nate?’
He sighed. He really didn’t have time to play games with her. They were very late for lunch, and there was an important meeting scheduled for this afternoon.
‘You were great today. You were your old self. For the first time since I’ve been back.’
He was still staring at her with a vacant expression, and she could tell the cogs of his brain were already spinning on to the next thing.
‘Look at you, Nate, in these pictures. You look... giddy.’
She pointed to one where an older baby in a pink dress and a bow in her hair was reaching out for his face. He was looking at her with such wonder — as if she’d just told him the secret of life.
Nathan looked at the picture. Looked at all the photos surrounding it. They’d been fun times. There just wasn’t time to fit it all in any more.
He looked at his watch. They really needed to get to the restaurant. ‘What’s your point?’
‘Oh, Nate, isn’t it obvious? That nagging feeling you talked about at lunch the other day? It’s medicine.’
How could he look at these pictures and not see that?
‘Look.’ She pointed to the pictures. ‘It’s obvious in every one of them. And just now with Sonya. This is your calling. You want to know what’s missing in your life?’ She crossed the small distance between them, picked up his stethoscope and draped it gently around his neck. ‘Go be a doctor again.’
CHAPTER SIX
Nathan pulled away, recoiling from her statement. ‘No.’
Jacqui nodded. ‘Yes, Nate. Yes.’
He pulled the stethoscope off his neck and slapped it down on the examination couch. ‘Don’t think because you’re back in my life that you suddenly know me and what I want better than I do.’
Jacqui refused to be put off. ‘I’ve always known you better than you, Nate.’