by Rose Pearson
“Oh, no.”
Her whispered words were agonizingly torn from her mouth, her eyes widening as she stared at Peter, who looked back at her with a gentle smile.
“He said to me that his family would disapprove,” Caroline whispered, warmth washing over her like a crashing wave, followed by a shivering cold. “I thought he meant....”
“He meant that they would disapprove of a gentleman marrying a lady who has no connections, no title, no fortune of her own,” Peter finished quietly, his eyes filled with something like compassion. “Caroline, this is no-one’s fault. I can well understand why you believed that of him, and he should have been able to express the truth to you in a much more concise and clear manner for then none of this would have happened.” He tilted his head and watched her carefully, his eyes burning brightly. “Do you think you would give him a chance to explain, Caro, if he came here to talk to you?”
She nodded at once, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. She’d been mistaken about everything? About every single word that Lord Brandeis had said? Her heart had broken over and over for nothing, since it was quite clear she had made a mistake. Lord Brandeis hadn’t exactly said everything clearly, had been somewhat tongue-tied when it came to expressing the truth about what he felt and what he desired for their future – but if she’d only just given him a chance to explain, if she’d only made certain that what she thought he was saying was quite correct, then she might now be in a very different situation.
“Of course I’d listen to him,” she said, hoarsely. “Oh, Peter, it’s all such a tangle.”
He smiled and handed her a rather grubby looking handkerchief, which she accepted gratefully.
“Don’t worry, Caro, you’ll get it sorted out,” he said, with a satisfied smile on his face. “I can’t tell you just how desperate Brandeis was with me coming here. He’s waiting now for me to return, to tell him whether or not he has any hope.” He smiled at her, his delight evident. “I’m glad I can tell him that you want to see him, Caroline, that you want to talk to him. You’ve done him so much good already, and I know that he cares for you deeply, even if he’s useless when it comes to telling you so!” Draining the rest of his tea, he set the mug down on the small table between them and got to his feet. “I’d best get back. Like I said, Brandeis will probably be on tenterhooks waiting for me to come back with news! He was desperate to know if he had any hope.” He smiled at her as she got up, reaching to hug her tightly.
“I’m sorry you’ve been so upset, Caro, but I hope things will clear themselves up soon,” he said, kissing her cheek. “I can’t believe you’re going to be marrying into the nobility, Caro! Our parents would be so proud of you.”
Her heart lurched, and fresh tears came to her eyes. “Thank you, Peter,” she whispered, as he pressed her hand before walking towards the door. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
His lips curved into a warm smile. “I don’t think he’ll be long,” he said, sending a swirl of nervous anticipation into her stomach. “I’ll be back soon, Caro.”
Chapter Sixteen
By the time Caroline had told Mrs. Beeson everything that had happened, had cried into her apron for a good long while and had then dried her eyes and changed her gown, the tavern was already beginning to fill with patrons. It was not a sight that brought Caroline any relief from her nerves, her worry and confusion mounting with every minute that passed. She began to fear that even if Peter had explained everything to Lord Brandeis, had told him what she had thought and how wrong she now knew she had been, he would not turn back to her. Perhaps he had been too hurt, perhaps he had been too upset to come back to find her so quickly.
But then she recalled what Peter had said about Lord Brandeis waiting desperately for his return so that he might know for certain whether or not he had any hope, and her heart flared to life once more.
“Don’t fret,” Mrs. Beeson said kindly, as she came to hand Caroline another tray of dirty glasses and stained tankards. “He’ll come for you, my girl.” She looked to be on the verge of tears, although her smile was bright. “I will miss you, my dear.”
Caroline swallowed the lump in her throat. “Nothing is for certain yet, Mrs. Beeson.”
Mrs. Beeson laughed and waved her remark away. “Of course it is,” she said, firmly. “But you’re not to fret about me. Martin looks to be staying put and should make his offer to me soon.” Her cheeks flared with color as she glanced over her shoulder to where Martin stood, his eyes firmly on the men who were scattered around the tavern. “And I’ve got Martha to help me too.”
Caroline pressed Mrs. Beeson’s hand. “You mean so much to me, Mrs. Beeson. I don’t think I would have survived without you.”
Mrs. Beeson’s eyes were bright with tears. “I still remember the day you came here, Caroline. Such a wisp of a thing you were, with your mousy brown hair in disarray and your blue eyes filled with such pain that I couldn’t help but take you in my arms.” She squeezed Caroline’s hand. “We’ve cried a lot of tears together, my dear, but now I think it’s time for a bit of happiness for us both.”
Caroline couldn’t hold her own tears back, embracing Mrs. Beeson tightly. “You’re not to forget me, in the same way as I won’t forget you,” she whispered, her arms wrapped around her friend. “No matter what happens with Lord Brandeis, you’ll always be an important part of my life.”
Mrs. Beeson hugged her back, sniffing into Caroline’s shoulder. Ignoring the noise from the men in the tavern, Caroline smiled as Mrs. Beeson released her, wiping her eyes with the corner of her apron.
“Everything’s going to work out just fine,” Mrs. Beeson said firmly, giving herself a slight shake. “Just you wait and see.”
One hour later and Caroline felt herself grow weary. She was tired of serving men their drinks, tired of picking up tankards and glasses, bored of wiping down tables and dodging lecherous hands that tried to grasp her as she made her way past. This life did not hold the happiness and contentment it once had, not when she knew that Lord Brandeis could offer her something so wonderful. Sighing to herself, Caroline picked up yet another tray of dirty dishes and made her way into the kitchen.
“Miss Devonshire!”
She froze, the tray wobbling just a little in her hand.
“Miss Devonshire, where are you?”
Her breathing came quick and fast as she managed to carefully set down the tray, hearing Lord Brandeis’s voice echo across the tavern. The other conversations began to die down, their noise abating as Lord Brandeis called her name again.
“Miss Devonshire, I will not make the same mistake again,” he continued, loudly. “I will speak the truth plainly if you will just come out and listen.”
Drying her hands on her apron, Caroline quickly tugged the offending garment off, tossing it aside before smoothing down her gown. It was one of her older ones, more faded and ragged than what Lord Brandeis was used to seeing her in, but it could not be helped. In fact, it reminded her of who she truly was and that brought her no embarrassment. She was just a poor girl from London, who worked in a tavern in Smithfield Market. She had no claims to titles or fortunes, no genuine refinement to speak of and certainly no accomplishments, but that was not something that she had ever wanted to pursue. If Lord Brandeis was true in his affection, then he would accept her just as she was. She would never again don the guise of Lady Winter; would never again pretend to be something she was not. This was who she was, and she was not about to hide her true self away.
“Miss Devonshire – Caroline – please!”
Lord Brandeis sounded a little desperate now and, despite the trembling in her limbs, Caroline stepped out of the kitchen and walked to the counter. Her eyes had trouble fixing themselves on him, such were the nerves racing all through her but, eventually, she managed to do so.
He was staring at her with such a measure of relief in his expression that it was almost palpable. His hair was in utter disarray, his eyes bore deep shadows ben
eath them and he wore no cravat or jacket. Standing there in his shirt sleeves, Caroline thought to herself that she had never found him so handsome.
“Caroline,” he whispered, his quiet words reverberating around the tavern, which had gone entirely silent. “Oh, Caroline, I have made such a mess of everything.” He did not move towards her but spread his hands. “I have used you for my own ends, I have refused to allow myself to feel anything for you despite the growing feelings in my heart, and when it did come time for me to admit them to both myself and to you, I found that my lips refused to speak clearly.” Swallowing hard, he shook his head, his gaze dropping to the floor. “You believed me to be offering you something no gentleman should ever offer the lady he loves.”
Caroline gasped, just as the sound of Mrs. Beeson bursting into tears came from across the room. She could hardly believe what she was hearing, staring at Lord Brandeis as her heart began to beat with a frantic hope.
“I meant to offer you marriage, Caroline,” Lord Brandeis continued, sounding quite miserable, “but instead, I managed to turn you away. My behavior after our conversation was entirely reprehensible and I must beg for your forgiveness.” His eyes lifted to meet hers and Caroline was astounded at just how much pain was in those green eyes. Her heart lurched as he took a small step towards her, his hands outstretched.
“Might you find it in your heart to forgive me, Caroline?” he asked, quietly. “I do not deserve it, but I come to you anyway, in the hope that your kind heart might be open to finding forgiveness for this scoundrel.”
Caroline felt every eye in the tavern on her, waiting for her response. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth as she walked around the counter towards him, her heart beating all the more quickly.
“I forgive you, Lord Brandeis,” she said slowly, aware of how his gaze jumped to hers almost immediately. “It was all a big misunderstanding and I am sorry for not remaining where I was and discussing the matter with you further. If I had not jumped to conclusions, then perhaps....”
He strode towards her, shaking his head. “No, Caroline, no,” he replied firmly, grasping her hands in his. “This was not your doing and I will not allow you to carry any blame whatsoever.” The beginnings of a smile began to curve his lips and Caroline, to her horror, felt tears begin to fill her eyes despite the growing happiness in her heart.
“Don’t cry, my love,” Lord Brandeis murmured gently, letting go of her hand so that he might brush her tears away. “Please, do not cry.”
She sniffed indelicately and smiled up at him, somehow forgetting about the rest of the tavern watching them. “I cannot tell you how glad I am to have you here, Lord Brandeis,” she said, softly, her hand pressing his. “For so long, I have been bound in heartbreak and pain but now – ” She paused, looking up into his face and seeing the love there. “Now that is entirely forgotten.”
“Then, might I offer you my hand in marriage?” Lord Brandeis murmured quietly, dropping to one knee right there in the middle of the tavern, eliciting gasps from the rest of the crowd. “My family will not approve, as I have said to you before, but at least they will know who you are and why I wish to marry you.” He smiled at her, his expression joyous. “That is, of course, if you will accept me?”
Caroline swallowed her tears, her heart practically bursting with joy. “You must know the answer already, Lord Brandeis. Of course I will marry you. My heart belongs to no other.”
The tavern erupted into loud cheers and cries of delight as Lord Brandeis swept her up in his arms, crushing her to him. Caroline laughed and cried all at once, her hands around his neck as she clung to him. Lord Brandeis pressed kisses to her cheek, to her forehead, to her temples and then, finally, pressed one light kiss to her mouth, bringing them both to a standstill.
“My love,” Lord Brandeis murmured, brushing one finger down her cheek. “You have made me the happiest man in all of England.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes bright. “I love you, Brandeis.”
“As I love you, Caroline,” he murmured softly, before leaning down to kiss her again.
Two weeks later and Caroline was in something of a tizzy. Her world had turned upside down the moment Lord Brandeis proposed and, with the wedding in less than a week, she had so much to do that at times, she wanted to sink to the floor and cry, afraid that it would not come together in time.
“Caroline!”
Looking up from what she was doing, Caroline could not help but smile with relief as Lord Brandeis walked into the room, his expression lit up with joy.
“Brandeis,” she murmured, getting up from her chair and wrapping her arms around him. He held her close, held her tightly, whilst she did nothing more than breath him in, letting his very presence give her the strength she needed.
“Is everything all right, my love?” he asked, looking down at her with concern. “You don’t look altogether pleased.”
She sighed and shook her head, stepping away from him to show him what she had been doing. “I want to make sure everything is just right,” she said, quietly, “and I am just working on what we shall need for the wedding breakfast for all of our guests.”
It was not the done thing in the nobility to have a wedding breakfast at a tavern, for it was usually a very quiet affair with only the two families coming together to enjoy a meal with the bride and bridegroom, but Lord Brandeis had insisted that they do what the townsfolk of Smithfield Market would expect. That would mean a meal at the tavern for all of Caroline’s friends and acquaintances that she would invite to the wedding, as well as Lord Brandeis family and friends, although he could not be certain that his family would, in fact, attend.
“It all looks wonderful,” Lord Brandeis murmured, pressing a kiss to her brow and making her smile as he did so. “Don’t fret, my love.”
Turning to him, she let out a long, heavy sigh. “But I am fretting, Brandeis. I worry about what your mother and father will think, even though I know I ought not to do so. I do not want to bring shame to your family name.”
He frowned, cupping her chin gently as she looked into his eyes. “Do not even think such a thing, Caroline. Our love brings no shame to either of us, regardless of what some unwritten rules might say. Besides which,” he continued, with a small smile, “I have some news for you which I think will bring you a great deal of relief.”
She looked at him, curiously. “Oh? And what is that?”
Taking her hand, he chuckled and led her back towards the chair by the fire, seating her before taking his own seat by her side.
“Well,” he began, slowly. “As you know, I went to see my father and mother to explain everything to them. I told you that they would not approve and, whilst that might have been the case initially, they have surprised me a very great deal.”
Her stomach tightened. “What did they say?”
His smile spread across his face, his fingers lacing with her own. “They have declared that they think you to be a truly wonderful young lady, who has done more for me than any other person on this earth. My mother herself told me that she believes you are the reason my character has changed so greatly, and even stated that she would be glad if I were to choose to finally settle down.”
Caroline gasped in astonishment, her eyes wide. She had never believed that Lord and Lady Fernley would wish to even see her again, given her deceit and her lies, given her lowly status that was so far removed from their own – but, apparently, she had been quite mistaken.
“My father,” Lord Brandeis continued, gently, “did not say very much when I was with him. In fact, he kept himself away from me entirely once I told him the news. He did not so much as come to bid me farewell.”
Caroline, seeing the spark of pain in his eyes, gave him a small smile of sympathy, running one hand down his cheek. “I’m sorry, Brandeis.”
He shook his head, his expression becoming brighter. “But then I received a letter this morning.”
“From Lord Fernley?”
He
nodded, looking quite delighted. “He has decided that he is in favor of our marriage, although I do not think he will come to the wedding breakfast!” He chuckled at her astonishment, his eyes ablaze with a sudden joy. “What is more, he has offered to bequeath me one of his many estates for us to reside in, so long as I take on the responsibilities of running the estate with both dedication and wisdom.”
Caroline’s eyes misted with tears as she looked back into Lord Brandeis’s eyes, feeling her happiness overflow.
“He has given us the very estate we visited together,” Lord Brandeis whispered, gently. “You shall have that ruined chapel restored after all, my love.”
Unable to contain her joy, Caroline threw herself into his arms as he rose, feeling as though she might burst with happiness. “I can hardly believe it,” she whispered, her mind filled with thoughts of her future, thoughts of her future together with the man she loved. The ruined chapel, the one she had visited with him, the place where she had first allowed herself to feel anything for Lord Brandeis, would be restored to its former glory and kept as a reminder of all they had been through together. She could hardly believe it.
“Peter will take on the gatehouse at the estate,” Lord Brandeis finished, taking her hands and looking down into her eyes. “I do not think the army is for him any longer and, besides which, I will need a decent steward to oversee things.” He smiled at her gently, his eyes filled with tenderness. “I just want you to be happy, Caroline.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and pressed his hands, feeling quite unable to express all that she felt.
“You have made me more than happy, Brandeis,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. “This is more than I ever dreamed of, more than I ever thought possible for someone like me. You have changed from a rogue to a gentleman, a gentleman who I can trust with my heart.”
His hands pulled from hers to slide around her waist, pulling her close. “I love you, Caroline,” he said softly as she looked up at him. “We will have a lifetime of happiness together, and I shall spend each day ensuring that you know just how precious you are to me.”