by Pea Jung
“It’s really cheeky. How could you abuse the name of your colleague?”
“I found that it sounds harmless, while the name Marek is still so rare, that it easily sticks in the memory.”
“Yes, probably.”
“The next dance belongs to me,” he murmurs in my ear from behind.
“Let’s see.”
“Don’t you see, Kitten. Coincidence has led you to my birthday party and I will lead you on the dance floor.”
Walter walks past with his plate full and I smile at him kindly.
“Enjoy it!” Marek tells him, which exacerbates the confused expression on Walter’s face.
“Has he realized something?” asks Marek and adds snarling: “surely you haven’t told him?”
“No, I haven’t said a word. But he wonders why you’re giving me so much attention when I don’t know you at all. Moving the cards wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.”
“I just like to have you in my vicinity, Kitten,” he explains calmly.
“You sounded very different at our last meeting. In any case, we shouldn’t talk so loudly. We’re not alone here.”
“That’s why we must make peace for tonight. We can argue again tomorrow.”
I take a deep breath, which he probably interprets as consent.
As we take out filled dishes back to the table, I am amazed to recognize the man who is talking to Alfons Mader and keeping him from eating. Outraged, I stop still and whisper to Marek: “no more peace! Why is that guy here?”
“Don’t make such a fuss, Kitten. I got him under control. Besides, your attendance here was not planned,” he replies softly as he passes me. Walter looks at me expectantly, and I walk, head down, to my seat, in the crazy hope that Adam will not recognize me.
“Josefine, you’re here?” he calls immediately, of course.
I can hardly avoid hearing the sharp tone of his voice. Also, I notice Marek clenching his fists after he puts down his plate.
“Yes, such a coincidence!” I gasp pretending to be pleased. Adam grabs my place card and reads. Immediately I say: “it’s my mother’s name. She was unable to attend.”
Adam looks at Walter, whom he seems to know: “you never even told me that you have such a grown up daughter. How is that possible?”
“He’s my stepdad,” I say out loud and Walter gives me an astonished look. I think that I have probably offended him with my behavior this evening. Or is he used to worse from me?
Marek pipes up: “Adam, get yourself something to eat. I think the free chair at the back is yours.” Marek points in a direction that makes it clear he has placed Adam very far away. Adam’s eyes glint angrily at Marek and he leaves our table without another word. I breathe out, but my deep-seated tension doesn’t change.
To make matters worse, the space between me and Ms. Mader is occupied by Henry, who comes over to us with a really crowded plate. He is smart enough not to advertise his acquaintance with me, I am very grateful to him.
Walter makes small talk with the rest of the group, while Henry quite innocently involved me in conversation.
All goes well until Henry poses a question at exactly the moment in which no one else at the table is talking: “Do you work in the medical field as well?” I throw him an angry look, but he notices that everyone seems to be waiting for my response.
“I…,” I start, but I don’t get anywhere.
Alfons Mader very kindly says: “You need not be ashamed of working as a waitress.”
“Umm…,” I hear myself struggle.
“She was let go,” Walter says simply.
“No!” Alfons Mader appears surprised.
From the corner of my eye, I can see Marek put his silverware down. He fixes me with a look that I cannot read. Didn’t he know about it?
Henry looks at me dismayed. Ms. Mader, who misreads the situation, says: “Yes, but really. Dismissing such a lovely a young woman. You haven’t done anything wrong, have you?”
“I’m sorry, but that’s private,” I say, almost to my plate.
Carefully, I squint at Marek, his appetite seems to have gone as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.
Ms. Mader smiles at me pityingly and Henry strives to build me up: “I don’t think he deserves you if he just let you go.” Is he talking about Jörg or Marek?
Walter adds: “We talked about whether Josefine might take on some work for the clinic.”
“Please, Walter. We don’t have to …”
“Interesting!” Marek interrupts me. “What exactly are you thinking of doing, Josefine?”
“Um… well, I haven’t thought about the details yet,” I whisper.
Just at the right moment, the band begins to play again and I quickly ask: “Would you dance with me, Henry?”
He looks uncertainly at Marek, but he cannot escape such a polite question under the benevolent gaze of both Maders. I purposefully ignore Marek’s gaze, which is probably drilling through me at this moment.
“Why not?” responds Henry unsure and I watch the quite helpless movement of his eyebrows, with which he tries to appease his boss.
On the dance floor, Henry pulls me close so that he can whisper in my ear without being overheard: “did you have to? I don’t like playing games.”
“You caused this awkward situation with your awkward question about my work.”
“I couldn’t know that you lied to me. Why did he fire you?”
“And I can’t believe that you didn’t know that when it was dear Marek who contrived the matter.” I smile sweetly because Walter is looking over at me.
Henry also sets a nice grin on his face as he replies: “I can’t believe that.”
“Then explain to me, why Jörg’s wife received a call telling her that I was the woman who had an affair with her husband?”
Now, Henry’s jaw drops and. as if Marek has recognized that I have revealed the truth to Henry, he comes between us. “Henry, I’m sorry, but I must pry you from your dance partner. It’s about business.”
Henry looks relieved as he lets me go and leaves the room with Marek. Of course, he will tell him the new information he just received. But that’s ok with me. He should know what he did to me with his ill-considered phone call.
I return to the table and to Walter, who is conversing well with the Maders, and join in the conversation. Only when Ms. Mader looks over my head do I notice that there is someone behind me: Adam. He asks: “Josefine, you will dance with me, won’t you?”
I hesitate and Walter answers for me. “Of course she will.”
I get up and hate the moment when Adam puts his hand on my back. “Hands off!” I snap quietly at him.
“Hmm, no bra? How sweet!” he hums and I simply move faster, so that his hand comes off my back. Exactly at the moment when Adam and I begin to dance together, Henry and Marek enter the room again. Adam notices my distracted eyes and turns me in the other direction with a few deft movements. “Oh, do you think we’ll get in trouble? Marek doesn’t look happy,” he grins and draws me closer to him.
This time, no one interrupts the dance and I must bear Adam, even if I do manage to keep the distance between us somewhat larger than normal.
“Do you think he’ll like it if I tell him about our kiss?” asks Adam duplicitously.
“If you want me to tell him that you called me a frigid shrew?”
“Not shrew. Bitch!”
“Either way. He doesn’t really care about me.” I share with him so that he will finally leave me alone.
“But he’s got you wrapped around his finger, just as he did with all his other women, no?”
I refuse to respond to this question.
“He manages it, again and again, I wonder what his secret is. Help me, Josefine. How does he get
women to fall at his feet?”
“He pays for us to get on the floor,” I say shortly.
“I know. But how is it that the women want more? Because he doesn’t touch you?”
“Adam, maybe it’s just because women always want more,” I snap at him because I really want to finish this conversation.
My silent plea is heard. The piece is over and I immediately release myself from Adams grip and go back to my place. Marek is nowhere to be seen and I can relax a little.
“Well, Josi, you are a much sought-after dance partner,” notes Walter, and looks at the clock. “Nevertheless… Shall we get going? I want to check in on your mother at the hospital.”
“Good idea!” I say somewhat too quickly and immediately jump up from my chair.
“Where’s Mr. Held?” asks Walter and looks around searchingly.
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. Let’s go!”
“We can’t just disappear without saying goodbye to the host.”
“I’m going downstairs, I’ll wait for you there,” I say quickly. “The air is too stuffy here. Would you say goodbye to Marek from me when you find him?”
“But…” I hear Walter say from behind me, but I don’t respond. Again, I escape into the elevator. This could become a habit.
The glass that I put down in here on the previous trip is still standing there and waiting for better times. Just like me. Relieved I leave the lift this time, without having anyone stop me. The entrance to the building is only dimly lit and it is quiet here. My steps clatter on the floor which is made of shiny dark plates, probably marble. After a while, the lift moves upwards again. I hope Walter comes soon!
Of course, my idea of an uncomplicated departure was a pipe dream. This becomes clear the moment Walter steps out of the elevator together with Marek. Walter shrugs his shoulders apologetically and Marek comes over to me with quick steps and outstretched arms. “Are you alright? Does the food not agree with you?”
He holds me on the upper arm, crouches a little and looks me in the face. His eyes express no concern. Clearly, he wants me to understand that I have made him angry.
“I was dizzy from the dancing,” I lie to his face.
“Really? Then you shouldn’t go to the hospital,” Marek asserts and looks at Walter.
“Yes,” I hear Walter say beside me. “I’ll take her directly home.”
But Marek interjects: “are you sure? I could drive her. It would be no problem for me.”
“But you have your guests up there” Walter counters.
And I agree immediately: “exactly. That would be pretty rude…”
“As rude as leaving without saying goodbye?” he hums and the point hits me.
Because no one says anything to this comment, Marek turns beside me and says to Walter: “my guests are able to enjoy themselves very well without me. I suggest you go to your wife in the hospital and I’ll take Josefine home.”
Walter takes a look at me. I can see that he is thinking about the offer.
“I want to see my mother too,” I object.
“That’s a bad idea. Maybe you’ve caught the flu. You don’t want to give it to your mother,” says Marek and immediately Walters frowns.
“Right. That would not be good. Josi, you can visit tomorrow.”
Should I add another “but…”? I take too long to consider, Marek has already fished his car keys out of his pocket.
“See you later, Josi, and thank you very much, Mr. Held!” says Walter as he leaves.
He has hardly left the building before I move away from Marek. “I’ll call a cab.”
“Forget it. I’m driving you. We will do exactly that and nothing else,” he growls and takes my hand. He drags me behind him and takes me to his car. Granted, it’s not entirely unpleasant that he is driving me.
We’ve barely left the parking lot behind us when he says: “your termination: I had nothing to do with that. I swear I didn’t call Jörg’s wife.”
“Should I really believe that?”
“You have to. Neither Henry nor I had anything to do with it. Are you making ends meet, financially?”
I laugh, almost hysterically. “That’s all this is about. Do you have a conscience?”
“I don’t need one. I’m worried, that’s all,” he says quietly and looks at the street.
I pull myself together and try to give a similarly quiet reply: “I’ll be ok for a while. I have a nest egg I can use.” Now he throws me a look. A slight smile plays around his lips, not amused, but an almost affectionate smile that softens my heart.
“It’s strange,” I say quietly.
“What?” he asks and looks briefly back at the street while eyeing me with that special look.
“To see you… to know you, so officially.” I smile at him.
“And?”
“And what?”
“What do you think?” he asks curiously.
I look at my hands, nervously lying on my lap and give a mischievous smile. Then I dare to smile at him and his broad grin shows me that this answer is clearly enough. He focuses again on his actual activity, namely steering a fairly expensive car.
“Do you have a new cleaning lady already?”
He abruptly slows down and stops at a bus stop. “You’re not serious.”
“Why not? I want to know. Do you have one?”
“No, I tried again and again to reach you. Henry and I were just about to get a locksmith and break into your apartment.”
“I did not know that I had to let you know if I wanted to have a break,” I say angrily.
He remains calm. “I want you to come back to me.”
“To clean?”
He nods and I have to control myself not to leave the car immediately. “I could finally be without the mask,” he explains and apparently has not noticed at all that my mood has changed. I’m surprised. He was otherwise always so attuned to my feelings.
“Are you kidding me?” I yell at him. “Do you really think I want to continue to be your half-naked cleaner, someone who you can gawk at all alone? When were you planning to pass me on to Adam? Did you keep him away from me, because you’re not tired of me yet?”
I notice Marek’s features harden as he puts the car into first gear and drives on, the tires screeching slightly. “All right then, I’ll find someone else,” he whispers after a while.
These words are the final straw. I would have preferred it if he had slapped me.
When he stops in front of Walter and my mother’s home, I cannot simply get out without asking my question: “do you have a girlfriend, Marek?”
His gasp is enough to tell me the answer already, but as he gives a rough “yes” a lot becomes clear to me.
“When I saw a man in the apartment with that woman” I try to put it all together.
“That was Adam,” adds Marek. “And the woman was my last cleaning lady.”
“My God. What sort of kinky games have you dragged me into? You used me. I could overlook that because it was what we contractually agreed. But that you played with me, that I can not understand. What was with your visit when I was sick? Why did you come to the movies after you held up Adam? And why in the world did you organize the evening of dance with me? Is that part of your program? Let’s see, once they fall in love with me, I’ll let Adam have them?”
“Fall in love? Josefine, I never wanted you to fall in love with me. Are you?”
“What has that got to do with it? Go to your girlfriend and tell her about your preferences. If she loves you, then she’ll certainly clean the apartment exactly as you like. Goodbye!” sobbing I leave his car and his life.
As I’m going to the front door, I hear his car slowly drive away.
By the time Walter comes home
from the hospital later, I’ve already holed myself up in my room and make out that I’m asleep, although I can’t sleep for a long time. Marek Held dominates my thoughts and I can not rest. To make matters worse, I torture myself by wearing my new favorite pajamas.
Chapter 21
The next day usually makes the horrors of the past evening no longer quite so gloomy. This time it works as well. When I finally get up, I realize I’ve overslept, Walter has left for work already and left me a note.
Dear Josefine,
Your mother will be released today. Please call her and maybe you can pick her up.
Greetings, Walter
So, in the early afternoon, I’m sitting with my mother on the way home in the car.
“I cannot tell you how glad I am that I am leaving this hospital behind me,” she sighs. “There’s no privacy to speak of. Did you have a bowel movement already? Have you had enough to drink? The only thing they missed was to ask me the last time I had sex.”
“Mama!”
“Speaking of sex. When was your last time?”
“Mama!” I repeat. But as she looks at me with so much interest, I consider the question. In fact, I have to concede, it was the sex with Jörg. When was that? “Two years ago I guess,” I answer, I am after all honest.
“Josefine! How do you manage? One week in the hospital and I’m already…”
“Please, I don’t want to know!”
“I can forget my favorite position with my arm in this sling…”
“Buttercup, Buttercup, Buttercup,” I sing loudly to drown her out.
My mother grins.
“Have they given you anything?” I ask, aghast.
“They gave me all sorts of things. I might actually be a little high.”
“Maybe I should drive back to my place today,” I think out loud.
“Not an option! We’ll get home and make ourselves comfortable, and then you’ll listen more closely to Walters proposal of a training job,” I see my mother is determined and I give in before we argue.
Walter comes home from work in the late afternoon and brings a surprise. Mom and I are sitting on the patio as he claps his hands and announces: “Girls, we are invited to dinner tonight.”