Edward spoke to me in a soft voice, telling me about the people walking past the doorway, the client he’d been talking to when I’d phoned him my water had broken. He kept my mind occupied on everything but the relentless contractions. When I almost screamed from the pain, he coerced me into deep breathing exercises, along with gripping both his hands in mine. I believed I’d make it through this with his help.
Dr. Farney returned and encouraged me to bear down with the next contraction. I felt a swoosh of baby and fluid.
“Here’s your little girl,” she announced.
I fell back onto the pillows, exhausted and relieved.
“We’ll need to clean her up first and perform the Apgar tests then she’s all yours.”
Within moments I heard a high-pitched cry. Our baby was alive.
The head nurse turned toward us carrying a wrapped bundle in her arms and placed the baby on my chest. Edward leaned over and pulled the corner of the blanket back to take his first look. I watched him, wondering how he would react to seeing his first child.
Tears hung from his long black eyelashes, and he mouthed, “Oh my God” then looked over at me. Bending down, he placed a soft kiss on my lips then pulled away and whispered, “I love you, Brandy.”
Time stood still. We gazed into each other’s eyes, his face inches from mine. It was written all over his face—the sincerity, the seriousness, the love. He didn’t move, but leaned over me, his eyes piercing, steady. Oh my God, he’s waiting for my answer!
My heart was full, bursting with love for this man who had tried so hard over the last several months to prove to me he cared about me and our baby. I didn’t know where this relationship was heading or where it would go, but right now, at this moment, I knew.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
Chapter 28
Within minutes, they moved me back to my room. While Edward held the baby, I fell into a deep sleep for a couple of hours, and awoke with the oddest sense of deja vu. It was dark outside, no one lay in the bed next to mine, just as it had been after I’d given birth to Christine. I was afraid to turn my head toward where the plastic bassinet should be. Last time, nothing was there. My baby had died and the room was empty save for Weston, sitting in a chair next to my bed.
I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could, hoping when I re-opened them, the bassinet would be next to my bed with my baby in it. Turning my head slowly, I opened my eyelids. Edward was leaning over in a chair, holding our child in his arms, eyes riveted on her tiny face.
“Edward?”
He picked his head up to look at me. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better now that I’ve slept. How’s she doing?”
“She’s fine, scored high on all levels of the Apgar, and Dr. Farney says she’s good to go! She weighs nine pounds six ounces.”
“No wonder I felt like I was about to burst!” I pushed up on my elbows. “Have you been here the whole time?”
He looked at me askance. “Where else would I be? I wouldn’t leave you. And I certainly wouldn’t leave our baby.” He paused, looking down at her. “And we can’t keep calling her our baby. I guess we forgot about picking out a name.”
I began to laugh then winced. My stomach muscles felt as if I’d been doing crunches all day. I laid my head back on the pillow. “It’s not funny, but yeah, we did forget. How stupid are we?”
He looked over at me, “Do you have a name in mind?”
“I’ve had the precious opportunity to name one child in my life. She didn’t make it, but she’ll always live in my heart. I think it’s your turn, Edward.”
His mouth hung halfway open, eyes wide. “Are you serious?” I nodded. “I have a favorite name that carries a lot of meaning for me.”
“As long as it isn’t something like Matilda or Hildegard, I’ll be okay with it.”
“My mother’s name was Jessica.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“I know, I know. She hid my father’s letters from me and lied about it. But in my heart I’ve forgiven her—a long time ago. Brandy, she raised me. All alone. And she did a good job. I’ll always love her.”
“It’s a beautiful and feminine name,” I said, smiling. “It fits her…Our baby,” I whispered.
“Yeah, our baby. Yours and mine, Brandy. And I love both of you. So very much.”
“Oh, Edward. Do you really?” I asked, frowning.
“I’ve never lied to you, Brandy.”
I paused, took a deep breath. “I don’t know when it happened, but I love you too, Edward. And it scares the hell out of me.”
His eyes squinted and he shook his head. “Why would you say something like that? I’ve never done anything to hurt you. As a matter of fact, it was you who treated me badly after we made love on my couch. You’re the one who walked out on me.”
“Let’s please not revisit history.” I sighed. “That night is etched like a tattoo on my brain.”
His eyebrows shot up. “That awful, huh? I enjoyed it. One of the highlights of my year.”
“Oh, stop it. Always the jokester. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Now that’s what I like to hear. A satisfied customer!”
I rolled my eyes, looked up at the ceiling. He could be so exasperating! “You’re so not funny today!”
He smiled. “Then why do you laugh at my jokes, huh?…Will you marry me?”
I closed my eyes in frustration. “Will you stop it! I just gave birth and it hurts to laugh.”
“I’m not joking,” he said. “I want to marry you. We have a child together. I love you. So let’s get married.”
I shook my head and pleaded, “Don’t do this. I’m exhausted from pushing out a nine-pound baby, and this discussion is wearing me out. I can’t take you seriously right now. You’ve just been through a very emotional event. It’s all new to you. You’re confused and overwhelmed. Can we puh-leeeze table this discussion until later?”
“For now, I’ll acquiesce to your demands. But not for long. The next time I decide to bring it up, do you promise you’ll discuss it?”
“I promise. Now, you’re not spending the night here, so when are you leaving me in peace?”
He stood up, holding Jessica. “You’re right, I’m tired. I’ll be back tomorrow. Early in the morning.” He bent down and gave me an extremely thorough kiss. “I love you.” He kept staring at me with a funny look on his face, his eyebrows raised.
“I love you too, Edward,” I whispered.
He smiled and laid Jessica on my stomach. What a day it had been! And what a happy ending.
Chapter 29
Dr. Farney allowed me to go home the next day. My milk was flowing freely, and it was easy to nurse Jessica. She was one hungry little girl and took to suckling right away. When we arrived home, after helping settle me in bed with her, Edward headed downstairs.
He was talking with Cecilia, and I laid my head back on the pillows he’d placed behind me, and took a moment to gather my thoughts. My body melted into the pillow top bedding and I pulled the down comforter over me. Exhaustion was slowly creeping into every muscle and I was so tired. I’d spent a good portion of the night awake nursing the baby and had woken early this morning when one of the staff came in to take my vitals.
The front door shut, followed by footsteps coming up the stairs, and I thought it might be Cecilia. When the edge of the bed dipped down, I opened my eyes and saw Edward.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Tired. I nursed your daughter most of last night. Where’s Cecilia?”
“She went home. When we drove up she ran over to ask me how you and the baby were doing. She said her back hurt and she can’t get in a comfortable position. You women should get an award for all those months being pregnant then giving birth. I could never do it.”
“An award? Can it wait until I can stand up without hurting? I just need to close my eyes for a few minutes.” I snuggled against the fluffy down pillows while the baby
suckled heartily. “I thought Cecilia was sleeping here tonight in case I need anything.”
“She planned to, but I told her not to worry about it. I’ll stay. I’ve taken some time off work. You have nothing to worry about.” Resting his hand on my outstretched leg, he added, “Rest at ease, Edward Barnes at your service.”
“But you can’t just leave your practice to take care of me!” I argued, raising my voice. “You never mentioned you’d be taking time off work.”
“Maybe because I knew you’d put up a fight about it. Just like you’re doing right now.”
“Well, wh-what about your law practice? You’re a partner.”
“Which is why I can do whatever the hell I want. Just for a few days.” He gestured toward the front of the house. “I have my briefcase and paperwork in the car. I’ll do some work tonight. Don’t worry about me. Now, stop arguing, all right? I’m staying here until you get back on your feet.” He stood up and straightened the comforter. “What would you like to drink? Dr. Farney told me you have to replenish the fluids you’re losing from nursing Jessica.”
I couldn’t stop staring at him. “I suppose you got your nursing degree along with your J.D.”
“You’re so funny.” He grinned. “I just want to take care of you and our baby. I want to and I can. That’s what’s so great about being a partner. Anyway, I haven’t taken any sick leave or vacation in years.”
“Okay. You win. I’d love some sparkling water.” I smirked. “And you can run my bath later.”
We burst out laughing. It felt good to have someone at my beck and call, running to get me whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I was so accustomed to taking care of myself and Weston, having Edward coddling me was a treat!
That evening he brought dinner to me in bed, placing a tray over my lap, on top of which stood a tiny vase with a red rose. He’d grilled my quesadilla to perfection, carved the tomatoes to look like open flowers, and laid baby radishes on the side, each having a tiny face cut in the middle. He endeared himself to me every minute he was around, snuggling his way into my heart like a Labrador puppy.
That evening I could hear him shuffling papers around on the dining room table downstairs, and I assumed he was working. He had a busy practice in criminal law, and taking time away from his job was a sacrifice. It was ten o’clock when he entered my bedroom, looking beat. He sat on the side of the bed, arranged my pillows, then smiled at me.
“Thank you for coming to my rescue, Edward, and for helping me out like this. I should be up and about by tomorrow.”
“I’m not worried about it, Brandy, so you shouldn’t be either. Now why don’t I put Jessica in her cradle then run you a nice hot bath?”
“Sounds luxurious.”
He carefully lifted the baby out of my arms and placed her in the handmade cradle he’d purchased several weeks ago. It had an electrical box on the underside with a cord that plugged into the wall, making it rock back and forth after switching it on. I could already tell it would be a godsend.
Afterward he made his way into the bathroom and started the water running in the tub. Déjà vu . I recalled Weston’s helping me out of bed into the bath after I lost Christine, making today feel sadly reminiscent of that time in my life.
I shook my head to clear out the cobwebs. That was then. This was now. Everything had changed. This was Jessica lying in the cradle. Edward was the one drawing my bath. Different day, different people. This was a happy time for us. How things had changed! I smiled, laid my head back on the pillows and must have fallen asleep.
Next thing I knew, Edward’s arms reached beneath my legs and back, and he carried me into the bathroom, set me down on the thick rug next to the tub and undressed me, then gently took my hand and guided me into the soothing hot water. I didn’t recognize the aroma, but when I looked at the shelf near the foot of the tub, I noticed a new bottle of lavender aromatherapy foaming bath. Millions of scented bubbles surrounded me, and I lay my head on the bath pillow hung over the side of the tub. He’d lit several candles and had placed them along the tiled edge, allowing just enough light so we could see each other.
“You look gorgeous lying there in all those bubbles—like an angel.” He knelt down and reached for the bar of lavender soap, rubbing it in his hands until they dripped with foamy lather. He began washing my breasts, up my neck, back down over my stomach, then around and around my nipples. It was an extraordinarily sensuous experience.
Bending over the tub, he kissed me tenderly, wending his tongue around the outside of my lips, down my neck, nibbling my ear, while rubbing his soapy hands over my breasts and nipples. I never realized my body could feel such heightened sexuality while lying in a bath tub!
If I hadn’t just given birth, I knew where this would have ended; however, we both knew it was not the time and all my important places were sore right now. He didn’t say a word. He washed my hair, rinsed it with glassfuls of water from the tub faucet then let me lie there quietly. He left the room, and I could hear him preparing the bed, fluffing up the pillows and straightening the sheets and comforter.
Returning to the bathroom, he took my hand and helped me out of the tub, then wrapped me in an oversized fluffy towel. When he finished drying me off and patting the water from my hair, he led me into the bedroom and helped me dress in a nursing gown Cecilia had bought for me.
Jessica whimpered, so he gathered her up in his arms, kissed her on the forehead, then placed her on my stomach to nurse. As he walked out of the room, I whispered “Thank you,” and he turned around and smiled. I had just been given a gift, an unselfish act of love, from a man I never thought would be a part of my life. I could picture my mother’s voice saying, “Oh, Brandy, wonders never cease!”
Chapter 30
I nestled into the pillows to take a short nap until Jessica’s next feeding. It was still dark outside when I awoke and found Edward curled up next to me in bed asleep. I hadn’t heard him come in, but I didn’t mind he’d joined me under the covers. I turned toward him.
He was so beautiful. His features were perfect—nicely shaped nose, full lips under a dark mustache, long dark eyelashes I knew covered the most gorgeous blue eyes ever. His physique was muscular and his chest and legs were covered in thick dark hair. He’d told me he went to the same gym as Cecilia and worked out with weights at least four times a week. He was in very good shape. I could lie here and watch him for hours.
His eyelids fluttered open. “Hi,” he whispered.
“Did you get any sleep?”
“A little. I hope I didn’t waken you. I had so much paper work to do.”
“Why don’t you go back to sleep. Jessica should be waking up soon and I’ll try to keep her quiet. As long as she’s nursing, she doesn’t make any noise.”
“Wanna cuddle?”
“I’d love to.”
I turned toward the windows and he put his arm around my waist, spooning me from behind. It was so comforting having someone in bed with me again. It had been months, and I missed it. I fell asleep within seconds but woke up when Jessica whimpered. I picked her up immediately and sat up in bed in the dark, relishing the quiet time with my baby, listening to Edward’s steady breathing while Jessica sucked and swallowed. When she finished, I laid her back in her cradle and turned on the rocking mechanism so she could be lulled through the night.
The next morning she slept longer than usual so I picked her up to nurse. She was ravenous and it took half an hour until she was satisfied and sleepy again. Edward had already gotten out of bed, and I assumed he was fixing breakfast. After I placed Jess in her cradle, I heard him coming up the stairs.
“How are you feeling, oh Princess of Lauren Drive?” he asked with a mischievous grin.
“Much better, thank you.”
“You didn’t wake up when Jessica cried last night at three a.m.”
I furrowed my brows. “You’re kidding me.”
He put both hands up, palms facing outward. “I kid you not.”
<
br /> “Why was she crying? She’d already been fed.”
“Her diaper needed changing. I figured out how to do it without waking you up to ask.” He motioned toward the bedroom door. “Did you want to come downstairs and eat?”
“I think it’s about time I did, yes,” I said, looking around for my bathrobe. “I’m feeling strong as ever and I need to start walking again. I’m not sick, Edward, just postpartum. I’ll be fine. And I’m ravenous.”
He walked over to the closet where he took my bathrobe off the hanger then brought it to me. “Soft-boiled eggs, whole wheat toast, butter, jam, and Peet’s decaf coffee—all waiting for you in the kitchen. How does that sound?”
“Great! What are you up to today?”
“Depends,” he said, helping me put on my robe. “If you’re ready to return to your normal routine, I’ll go home to my place.”
“Sounds like a plan.” After slipping my arms in the sleeves of my bathrobe, I turned toward him. “I really appreciate you helping me out like this. You don’t know how much it means to me—that you took time off work, helped out with the baby. You’re really good at this whole ‘daddy thing’.”
He nodded and smiled. “I hope to be. When she stops nursing, I can feed her bottles, too. I’m a man of many talents.” Pausing, he looked serious. “Maybe now’s the time, Brandy…to talk about marriage?”
I took hold of his hands and gave them a light shake. “I still think you need to go home, rest, think about this with a clear head, away from me and Jessica.”
“I don’t need to think about it,” he said then grasped me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. “Do you honestly believe a man of my age—by the way, I’ll be thirty-two, February first—anyway, that I need to think about it? I’ve lived my life meeting women who wanted to get married. I told you that. And it was never the right time, or the right woman. But I know what I want, Brandy, and I want you.”
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