by Erin Trejo
I wait and listen to the hushed words. I can’t make them out until the voices grow a little louder.
“We tell her!” It’s Bryce. What’s he doing here?
“Tell her what exactly?” Another voice that I’m not sure of. I’ve never heard it before.
“That all those sleepless nights that she sat awake and cried. All the times that monster came out of the closet and watched her. The stand offs that they had, it was always Jaxson.” My heart stops. No. he wouldn’t do that to me. Not Jaxson.
“Then what?” The voice asks. I don’t care what. I turn on my heel in a daze walking back down the hall.
“Jaxson wouldn’t do that to me.” Why wouldn’t he? He’s a monster. He doesn’t care what happens to me. He only cares that he got what he paid for with me.
I walk into his empty room and look out at the veranda. He wouldn’t do those things to me, make me feel alive if he was the one instilling all the darkness in me as a child.
He wouldn’t do that to me. Or would he? Maybe that’s always been his end game. Maybe that’s the hand he was dealt. He is playing his cards close to his chest, not letting anyone see them.
I walk in a stunned silence into his bathroom. Digging through the drawers, I pull out a razor blade. Why is he using me? Is it for the wealth that comes with my family? There isn’t any wealth that I know of but Jaxson would know.
I climb in the bathtub as I run my fingers over the slim blade.
Murdered. My mother was murdered. By who? My father? Or is that what Jaxson made it look like? He could have orchestrated the whole thing. He has the money, the power.
I shake my head as I look at the blade that glistens between my fingers.
“I won’t let him have me. He will have to lose that piece of his fucked-up puzzle.” I drag the blade up my arm watching the blood flow to the surface. It burns but the pain is bearable. It isn’t like the pain in my chest. The pain of betrayal. The pain of losing something that you’ve grown attached to. The pain of knowing that Jaxson was the real cause of all my nightmares.
My eyes feel heavy. There’s a lot of blood filling the tub now. I switch the blade into my other hand, ready to cut the other wrist.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jaxson’s voice booms through the bathroom. I bring the blade to my throat, halting him in his tracks.
“Put that down, little puppet.” His eyes are hard but there’s a shakiness to his voice.
“You ruined me, Jaxson. I won’t let you keep me. I’m cutting the strings. I’m no longer your little puppet.” I quickly swipe the blade down my other arm before darkness takes me away.
Chapter 65
I blink rapidly trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light.
“Stay still, honey.” Beverly? Is that her?
I glance over and see her smiling face before I look around the room.
“Why am I here?” I ask when the reality hits me. I’m back at Harvey’s. Why am I at Harvey’s?
“Jaxson thought you’d feel more comfortable here. You need to rest.” Why does he give a shit about where I’m comfortable? He did this to me. He forced me to this. I can’t even kill myself. What kind of failure does that make me?
I push up and sway slightly when I see Don in the corner.
“You’re here.” It comes out as a whisper but when tears spring to my eyes, he moves closer to me.
“Don’t cry, Jade. Everything is going to be ok. You’re home now. I won’t let anything happen to you this time.” His voice is almost reassuring. It’s a lie though. Jaxson will get to me. I know he will.
“Are you hungry? You’ve been asleep for a while now.” Beverly smiles as she sets a bowl hot soup next to me.
“How are you here? You belong at Jaxson’s.” The tears fall faster and harder now. His name causes an ache in my chest. One I’m not familiar with.
“He asked me to take care of you.” I shake my head.
“You have to leave. You can’t be here spying on me for him!” I snap. Don places a hand on my shoulder trying to calm me. “That’s why he sent you here isn’t it? You know what he did don’t you?” Beverly looks at Don before looking back at me.
“If this is about the auction.” I raise my hand to stop her. What? Is it possible she doesn’t know?
“No, not that. About him, sneaking into my closet when I was younger. Scaring me. Making feel like I was losing my mind. The man that would make me feel like I was insane.” Beverly and Don share another strange glance.
“Why do you keep looking at him!” I scream louder.
“Honey, Jaxson is only five years older than you.” What? No. he can’t be that young. How? No. the man in the closet was a man not a child. There was no way that he was a child.
“That can’t be.” I look down at my hands and vaguely recall Beverly saying she was calling Jaxson before leaving the room.
Don sits running his hand up and down my back in a soothing gesture as I let my mind run wild. I heard Bryce. I heard him say it was Jaxson. Why would he say that? Why do that?
“It wasn’t him?” I ask more to myself than anyone.
“Jaxson is only twenty-five, Jade. You said a man was in the closet when you were younger?” I look up at Don with so much confusion. I nod my head once.
“Then it couldn’t have been Jaxson. When did it start?” He asks.
“When I was ten. Right after my parents died.”
“Jaxson would have been fifteen then. I don’t think that would count as a man.” His words are left hanging in the air. I close my eyes and try to conjure up the image of the man but I can’t see him.
Chapter 66
The ache won’t go away. It’s worse than it was a week ago. Beverly hasn’t left my side and Don stands guard outside my door. What are they protecting me from? Who is after me?
I can hear arguing outside the door before it flies open. Jaxson comes in wearing jeans that hang off his hips and sweatshirt that’s half zipped showing off just enough of his skin to make me blush.
“Stop doing this, Jaxson.” Don follows him into the room. Jaxson doesn’t look at me, he walks around throwing things into a bag that he pulled from the closet.
“Stop doing this? Have you lost your fucking mind?” He growls at Don.
“She needs to rest. She’s not well.” Don argues with him as though I’m not in the room.
I watch the two of them not knowing what may happen next. The room could explode with the amount of tension in it.
“She will rest. Have no worries about that. In fact, you might as well join us. We have things to discuss.” Once he has my bag stuffed, he tosses it to Don. Don looks at me the same way I’m looking at him. Confused.
Jaxson still hasn’t looked at me but he moves toward me. Reaching down he lifts me into his arms not even saying a word.
“I can take care of myself.” I mutter. Jaxson’s chest vibrates with laughter.
“I can see that by the bandages on your wrists.” Asshole.
“Let me down!” I snap trying to wiggle out of his hold. A lot of good that does me.
“I don’t think so. We don’t want any other episodes, now do we?” He’s being short, like he does when he’s angry with me. It isn’t my fault I heard what I did.
He moves quickly down the stairs and out to the waiting limo.
“What about Beverly?” I ask.
“She’s in another car.” The door closes behind us but Jaxson still doesn’t let me go. I look up at him, his lashes lying against his cheeks, his eyes closed. He looks tired and worn out. Like he hasn’t slept in a week.
I reach up and touch his cheek, running my fingers over the stubble that lines his strong jaw. I’ve missed his touch. I’ve missed his warmth.
“I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say to him. It seems so useless in the grand scheme of things.
“You could have died, Jade.” That’s all he says. He doesn’t even open his eyes to say it.
“I didn’t though. You can
let me go now.” I say meaning out of his lap.
Jaxson’s head falls forward, his lips pressing against the top of my head. A long sigh escapes him.
“I don’t think I can do that.”
Chapter 67
I don’t force him. I let him hold me and the longer he lays his head against mine, the tighter he squeezes. I wonder what’s running through his mind right now?
I want to ask him but I don’t want to risk breaking this moment. The tiny shred of normalcy that we are having right now. I need it. I crave it. I don’t think it’s so much the normalcy but the intimacy. Jaxson may be a lot of things but he does make me feel safe.
The car stops but Jax makes no move to get out. He just inhales and exhales, his warm breath against my scalp.
“I am always man enough to tell the truth. Somethings are better left unsaid. You scared me, Jade. I wasn’t afraid, I was scared. When you passed out, I thought you were gone.” His words are as sincere as I’ve ever heard them. My heart picks up its pace.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” There it is. The angry huff I’d been waiting for.
“You didn’t? You cut your wrists in my bathtub, Jade! What the hell did you think you were doing?” I want to tell him what I heard but I can’t. What kind of fool would he think I was?
“I thought I was making things right.” I whispers ashamed of what I did now. I thought it was him. I heard what Bryce said.
“Making it right for whom? You?” He asks, his tone slightly calmed. I can still hear the hitch in his prefect voice.
“Me, you, everyone.” I sigh.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, little puppet. Ever.” His voice has turned demanding. The one that tells me to undress. The one that tells me to take what he’s giving. The one I’ve missed this last week.
The ache in my chest is still there. It’s lessened though. Being near Jax has a settling effect on me. It calms the wildest storms.
“Let’s get you inside. You need to rest.” He mumbles into my hair. I snuggle my face into his shirt, savoring his scent.
“You’re not dressed in your suit.” I close my eyes as he lifts me out of the car.
“I had some things to handle. It got a little messy.” I don’t ask because frankly, I don’t want to know what he means by that.
Jaxson walks in the front doors and an overwhelming peace settles upon me. Is it being here in his house? Or being near him?
Everything about Jaxson should cause you to run and hide but not me. I invite it in. I let his strength seep into every pore of me.
He walks up the stairs and instead of going into my room, he goes into his. The bed is already turned down like he was expecting me to come back willingly.
“I can go to my room.” I say softly. Jax chuckles before climbing on the bed with me still in his arms.
“You think so little of me, do you little puppet? I need to make sure you rest and get better.”
“Why?”
“Because, this is just the beginning of the battle.”
Chapter 68
I lay curled up in his arms. He holds me tightly. I wonder if he’s even asleep. Every time I shift slightly, he pulls me closer. Maybe he doesn’t realize he’s doing it.
I settle my head against his chest right under his chin. It’s one of my favorite places to be. I can hear his heart beating.
“I know if I asked you why you did it you wouldn’t give me an answer. What I can ask you is that you never do it again.” His voice is gravely from sleep.
“How did you know I was awake?” A small smile crosses my face.
“I told you, little puppet. I don’t need to see you to feel you. I feel you. I can’t explain it either. It’s strange, nothing I’ve ever felt before.” He’s giving me a piece of himself. A piece that he’s kept locked up until now.
“I thought you were someone else. Can we leave it at that for now?” Jax inhales sharply before blowing out a breath.
“For now. You will tell me in time.”
“What did you mean by the battle is just beginning?” His hands move up and down my back. Such a soothing gesture from such a dark man.
“It means that I have been put in a position. A position that will cause a war.” His hands never stop their motions. I lift my head to look at him, his features as hard as ever.
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” I already know the answer I just need to hear his confirmation.
“Don’t worry about that. You need to rest.” Always changing the subject.
“Answer me, Jax. Is it because of me?” I look into those blue eyes, the golden specks dance in the fire.
“Yes and no. I made things personal so to speak.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means that at first it was about you. I took the brunt of it so you don’t have to.” I’m still confused.
“Jax.” I begin to say when his lips press into mine. And just like that, the world filters away. There’s only him and the way he makes me feel.
There’s only Jaxson and his sweet lips against mine.
“Don’t go to war for me. I’m not worth it.” I whisper against him.
“I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what to do. In fact, if you think you wield that much power, I need to tug on those strings a little better.”
He kisses me once more before whispering, “Now sleep before I wear you out.”
Chapter 69
I wake up alone in this big room. It’s unnerving. I don’t like not being near him.
I climb out of bed and grab his dress shirt. I pull it on before buttoning it up. I inhale his scent.
I walk down the hall before taking the steps quickly. I feel energized today. It’s not a feeling I’m used to.
I head into the kitchen when I hear Jaxson’s voice. A smile plastered on my face.
“Morning.” I gush as I walk into the room.
All I see is a ghost. What the hell is going on? How is he here?
Jaxson watches me intently but never says a word. My heart leaps in my chest. I don’t know what to feel, what to say.
“You were dead.” Or at least I thought he was. It turns out nothing I have believed for years is true.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Dad.” It falls from my lips. It shouldn’t though. So many questions. What happened to my mom? Why did he pretend to be dead? Why did he leave me to this? Why was I included in one of his deals?
My chest suddenly feels tight. The air in the room thicker. I gasp for air before I feel Jaxson’s strong arms wrapping around me.
“It’s ok, Jade.” He whispers in my ear. It’s not ok. How is he here? Why is he here?
“He was dead, Jax.” He pulls me against his chest tighter now.
“He wasn’t. Things are happening Jade.” I push at his chest but he doesn’t let me go.
“You lied to me!” I roar.
“No, I didn’t.” Jax tries to defend himself.
“Not you. You! You are liar. Do you know what kind of hell you left me in?” Anger surges inside of me.
Jaxson releases me slowly as I let that anger and rage unleash on the man that was supposed to protect me.
“Where were you? When I cried at night? When I needed you! Where were you when I was supposed to be protected from people like him!” I look to Jax and see the hurt flash in front of his eyes before he hardens himself.
“There are so many things we need to discuss, Jade.” He says.
“No. Get out!” I point toward the door. My dad looks to Jaxson but he just stands tall beside me.
“Let’s talk about this, Jade.” Shaking my head, I don’t want to hear it. Not now.
“I said, get out. I haven’t seen you in nearly eleven years, I don’t need to see you now.” I grit my teeth.
“That’s the problem, Jade. Your birthday is soon. We need to talk. I know I can protect you.” He says. He can protect me? Where was he when I was being sold?
&nbs
p; “Jaxson can protect me.” I say with the most confidence that I can muster.
“Is that why your arms are bandaged? Because he protected you?” He barks.
“That was my own stupidity. Trust that it will never happen again. Jaxson can and will protect me.” I grind my teeth painfully.
“She’s right. I will protect her. From them, from you and anyone else that tries to hurt her for their own wealth.” Jaxson steps up next to me, a pillar of strength.
“For your own well-being or hers? Does that include the money she inherits on March 3rd?” I narrow my eyes at my dad.
“Hers of course. I’m wealthy, Brandon. Far more than you ever were and I mean that in many forms.” His hand locks around my shoulders before he continues. “What Jade is set to inherit has already been established in an account for her. Her name and her name only is on that account. That means I nor you can touch a single cent.”
Chapter 70
The stare down between the two of them is intense. Jax’s fingers dig painfully into my arm.
“Does she know the full story?” My dad asks. Jaxson tenses up before relaxing once more.
“Not all of it. She doesn’t need to at this point.” My dad laughs. That laugh is as evil as any other.
“See to it that she learns the rest, Jaxson. We wouldn’t want any other accidents.” His gaze drops to my wrists before moving back to Jaxson’s.
Before I have a chance to say anything, Jaxson moves. He’s stealthy. My dad never saw him coming and I never saw him move. He has him pinned against the wall, a fierce look in those beautiful eyes.
“Accidents happen all the time now don’t they, Brandon. If you ever threaten her again, I will kill you. I will watch your blood drip down my fingers as I rip you piece by piece.”
“Jaxson.” I call his name but he’s gone. He isn’t here in this moment.
“Never step foot on my property again. Never contact her. Never even glance at her. She isn’t your little girl anymore, she’s mine.” His teeth are grinding, I can hear it from here. He’s going to lose himself and do something he may regret later.