by Gini Koch
“Okay, hope you’re not wrong.” He let me out of his arms. “Thanks for defusing Aunt Carla.”
He grinned as Martini pulled me next to him. “Spent enough time around people like her, it was easy to spot. If they lead with the money, that’s what they care about.” He rubbed his hand over his head. “I need a freaking hat.”
“You carry bald off well.”
“It’s gay.”
“You are gay. And so’s Paul. And he’s bald, and he looks hot, and you’ve never minded bald on him.” I knew why he didn’t like it, of course, but I wanted to hear him say it.
“Two baldies is totally gay, okay?” Reader looked disgusted, and more so when we all started laughing. “You mentioned this to them?” he asked Gower.
“Maybe once.” Gower put his arm around Reader’s shoulders and pulled him close. “Bald over dead? Bald is great, Jamie.”
“Yeah. So, how’s the party been?” Reader was looking around, and I noted his eyes were lighting on everyone from Alpha and Airborne. I shot a glance at Kevin. Same thing. Well, he was our other rook, after all.
Looked to Chuckie. “You want to tell us what’s going on, now that all our side of the board is here?”
He smiled at me. “No. We have time. Let’s eat. We’ll need the fuel.”
“You know, mystery statements like that make it hard for me to get excited about food.”
Martini stroked the back of my neck. “You sure we have the time?”
“Yes,” Kevin said. “Though none of our team should be drinking. I’ve already passed the word to the humans on Alpha and Airborne. Oh, and Serene’s briefed, too.”
“Serene’s coming along on whatever we’re doing that none of you will tell me about?”
“Yeah. And Tito. Geez, I’m down and you replace me with the maintenance guy? I’m touched.” Reader grinned at me. “He’s great, Kitty. Good choice.”
Dad sighed. “Kitten, really, enjoy this party. As much as you can.”
“The doom and innuendos are really causing the word ‘enjoy’ to leave my vocabulary.”
Kevin sighed. “Look, Reynolds, just tell her. She’ll handle the news just fine, and maybe be able to relax.”
“Go ahead,” Chuckie said. Ah, this was a protocol issue, and Kevin was still reporting in to Chuckie like the rest of us.
Kevin looked at me. “Our NASA team picked up radio transmissions. We’ve translated them, accurately, and confirmed against molecular disturbance. We expect a spaceship of significant size to arrive from the Alpha Centauri system within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”
CHAPTER 46
“OKAY, YEAH, LET’S EAT.”
It was worth it to see every one of their jaws drop. “Uh, great.” Chuckie looked sort of dazed.
“Wow, dudes, you crack me up. First you’re all Mission: Impossible and then you’re shocked when I take the news the way you said I’d take the news.”
“We don’t believe you,” Reader said.
“Well, I could start screaming, but I don’t think it’d do us any good. Besides, I think better on a full stomach.”
“Think?” Kevin asked.
“The plots. Geez, guys, keep up. The mystery imageer spies who are bugging us and giving orders pretending to be Christopher, the laser light show, the so-called emissaries, our whacked-out Amazonian assassins, political intrigue in the A-C system—there’s clearly something bigger going on. We have less than twenty-four hours to figure out what. And, as I said, I think better on a full stomach.”
I heard a sleepy mewling coming from my purse. “Oh, right. Can someone find out what the Poofs like to eat? I’m sure they’re starved.”
Christopher called Alexander over, and my Poof concerns were explained. “Any meat should be fine.”
“Alex, they’re from your world. What, I’m supposed to toss them a steak?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Or some chicken. If it was once a living beast, they’ll eat it. They’re carnivorous.”
“Okay. So, food for me and a dead cow for my Poofies. Should make the waiter’s night.”
Chuckie shrugged. “The moment I realized this had turned into a party of epic proportions, I got the buffet going. Help yourselves.”
“Chuckie, did you pay for this?” I didn’t want him to, and I knew without asking Martini wanted that even less than I did.
Chuckie grinned. “Yes. Compliments of the C.I.A. You’re all operatives, and this is part of our cover.”
“I like how he thinks,” Reader said with a laugh. “Come on, let’s get some food and try to help Kitty think right.”
It was there, on the tip of my mind. “James,” I said as we shoved our way to the buffet, “what do you think’s going on?”
“No idea.” He took a plate and passed another one to me. “God, I’m starving.”
“Me too.” We worked our way through the buffet options. “What commonality is there in everything that’s going on?”
“Girlfriend, you’re the brains of the operation, remember?”
“No, you are too, and you know it. Does your head still hurt?”
“Honestly? No. I feel great. I don’t even have a scar; your dad pointed that out.”
I looked his head over. How could he not have a scar? His head had been bashed in. But he was right-he looked just fine. I wanted to worry about it, but there were bigger issues. “Chuckie says we have to find who has the most to gain or the most to lose.”
“Earth has the most to lose.” Reader said this calmly, as he snagged some Chicken Kiev.
“Why so?”
“It’s our planet that’s being invaded. We don’t have long-range spaceflight that can guarantee us safe passage to another planet. The gate’s locked on the A-C side of the galaxy, so no way to get through there. Whatever’s happening, it’s happening here, and that sucks for us.”
And there it was. Pretty much perfect clarity. “I know what’s going on.”
“Uh-huh. Do you think that stuff’s safe to eat?”
“Yes, it’s goulash. James, did you hear me?”
“Yes, you know what’s going on. Fill the plate, sit down, eat what’s on the plate. Starving here, and I want to have the food, in you and in me and the others before you explain what’s really going on, because experience tells me the minute you do explain it, food and rest are a thing of the past.”
“Fine.” Couldn’t argue, it was true.
We finished loading the plates and squeezed in at a table. Happily, we could set our plates down. I put one of the three Chicken Kiev pieces I’d taken on the ground and put the Poofs down there to eat. From the purring, I assumed they liked it. By craning my neck I could see my mother’s table. Dad was there now, and Mom looked a lot better. I got a warm feeling inside—A-Cs weren’t the only ones who mated for life.
Martini, Christopher, and Gower managed to shove in with us. I had to sit on Martini’s lap, but I didn’t mind. Everyone had brought extra for the Poofs, which was good because they were eating up a storm. Chuckie came by with a plate of raw chicken that also went under the table. He stood and ate.
“I know what’s going on,” I told him as I stuffed in some cabbage rolls. Red Square had what I’d call “regular nice food,” too, but they could pull out the Russian and related specialties when they wanted to, and this meal was excellent proof.
“Good.” Chuckie took my empty plate, wandered off, and came back with it filled up. With everything I liked. Martini muttered only a little bit.
“No one seems to care that I know what’s going on.”
“Baby, we’re all starving, and we know we have time. You gonna finish that Kiev?”
“Yes, but have it anyway.” He speared it quickly, and it disappeared from his plate almost as fast. Martini rarely used hyperspeed to eat; all the A-Cs were trained to do “human” things slowly from birth, so I knew he was starving. Well, we had been amazingly active for hours on end. I put my last cabbage roll onto his plate.
; Chuckie grinned, wandered off, came back with another loaded plate. He put it down in the middle of the table. “Group feeding trough.” This food disappeared quickly, and Chuckie waved someone down. A waiter managed to get near us. “Can I get more of the main dishes over here?”
“Yes, sir.” The waiter hustled off.
“Nice to have them at your beck and call,” Reader said in between mouthfuls.
“Pay to have a place closed for your own private party, tell the chef to pull out all the stops, the only goal being all the good food and drink that the guests can eat be available and coming nonstop, and add that money is no object—you get treated right.” Chuckie beat me to the last cabbage roll on the group plate. “More’s coming, and I’m bigger than you,” he said with a laugh.
“Where’s Kevin? Bet he’d like to know what I think’s coming.”
“He’s with your parents,” Chuckie told me. “And we’re all fascinated. I’m wondering how you’re missing the part where we’re surrounded by your relatives and at your engagement party, though.”
“My surprise engagement party.”
He grinned. “Pontifex White, Mister Martini, Senior, and I thought it was appropriate. And, again, it’s a great cover. Your mother felt it would make her job easier, too, so we’re approved up to the Presidential level.”
I would have been impressed by our importance, but the waiter arrived with four laden plates and I was too busy trying to get food to care about it. The men cleared them to their own plates before he could set them down. I managed to snag a couple of cabbage rolls before they were all gone but got stuck with a lot of potatoes and goulash.
I looked at Martini. “Did you know about this?”
“No. You eating that goulash?”
“Go for it.” I wolfed down my cabbage rolls and eyed the ice bar with a touch of nostalgia. It was exactly that, a bar made out of ice, to keep your vodka martinis nice and frosty. Chuckie and I had come here every day when we were in Vegas.
“Hate your line of thought,” Martini muttered as he snagged some potatoes off my plate.
“Just occasionally miss having a drink.”
“So have one.”
“Right. Like I want to risk killing you? Or, worse, not being able to kiss you?”
He grinned. “Okay, love this line of thought.” He kissed me, then finished the rest of my potatoes.
I looked around some more. “Chuckie, how did my entire family get out here? I mean, my cousins are all here, not just my aunts and uncles and grandparents. The only ones missing are the kids under eighteen, ’cause I see the older ones. At the bar. Drinking.” Lucky things. I wanted to give the ones under twenty-one a severe talking-to, but they’d know it was because I wasn’t having a drink myself, so I let it pass.
He shrugged. “I think your grandparents called them. Apparently it wasn’t sitting well with anyone that they hadn’t met any of Martini’s family. Once they did and could confirm that Alfred and Lucinda seemed to believe you two were really getting married, it snowballed. The more of your side that came out, the more of Martini’s side Lucinda called in, basically.”
“Huh.” Most of my family lived in the West, so it wasn’t a long flight or even drive to get here for most of them. But some of them had come from farther away. “What day is it?”
“Thursday.” Chuckie gave me a long look. “You slept last, when?”
“No idea.” My brain was whirring. “I think I know the rest of the plot.”
“Great. Is there anything for dessert?” Martini had finished everything on my plate and his.
“Yeah.” Chuckie made some signals and two waiters appeared, laden with dessert plates, teacakes, and some other things. I couldn’t identify the other things because the men devoured them before I got a good glimpse. Fine. I liked teacakes. I took a few and clutched my dessert plate to my bosom.
“No one cares what I think,” I muttered to my teacake.
“We care. You gonna eat that other one?”
“No, Jeff, I took it for you.” He ignored my sarcasm and snagged it.
“Thanks. Reynolds, call those waiters back, will you?”
“Geez, I’ve never seen you guys eat like this.”
“Kitty, we haven’t eaten in at least twenty-four hours,” Gower said patiently, as he grabbed some dessert off the new platters the waiters brought by. “By the way, ACE says he’s fascinated by what you think and is waiting patiently for us to finish so you can share it with us.”
“At least someone cares.”
“He says we have the time to eat,” Gower added, as he started in on what looked like German chocolate cake. I had no idea—the platters were never getting close to me.
Finally the men seemed somewhat satiated, and by that I mean I could see some of the food on the platters before it disappeared. Then I heard a sound I didn’t like.
“Everyone!” Nono Dom shouted. “We need to have a toast!”
“Oh, no. Please not this.” The Poofs were done eating and I put them back into my purse so I could run as soon as I needed to.
“Oh, relax,” Martini said as he finished the last teacake on the table and leaned back. He pulled me closer to him. “This is the fun part.”
“Is it?” I knew what my family’s toasts were like. Long. Detailed. Embarrassing.
I was saved from finding out how bad it could have been because an A-C who looked fairly familiar came up to us. I was pretty sure he hadn’t been at the party all this time.
“Commander Martini?” He seemed stressed, and I felt all of us shift from relaxed to alert.
“Yes, what’s up?” Martini had his Commander voice on.
The A-C took a deep breath. “The prisoners held in Dulce. They’re gone, sir.”
CHAPTER 47
WE ALL STOOD UP. “ARE THEY in the complex?” Martini asked, while Chuckie went off to pull our teams out.
“No, sir. We’ve already checked. They’re gone completely.”
“Did anyone get hurt?”
“No, ma’am, Commander Katt. Not even Security.”
“Then how did they get out?”
He shook his head. “We don’t know. Security wasn’t alerted. Including the agents on the floor with the prisoners.”
“Where are the dogs, cats, and lizards?” I asked Gower.
“Here.” He pointed out some people I realized were the aliens, all of whom were moving through the restaurant to the exit.
“Well, that’s convenient. I have to go say good-bye to my parents and grandparents.”
“I’ll come with you. Christopher, contact Gladys, I want her info. Tell Commander White the rest,” Martini snapped at the A-C. He took my hand, and we started to the back.
My family could tell something was going on. “What, they don’t like toasts?” Nono Dom asked as we got closer.
“No, Nono, that’s not it. We have an . . . emergency.” This was going to suck. Because I hadn’t told Martini just what it was I’d been telling my family I did for work now.
“What kind of an emergency that calls you away from your engagement party?” Papa Abe asked, in the tone of voice that said it couldn’t possibly be important enough for me to get a free pass to leave.
I took a deep breath.
“Our main client just rejected the full ad campaign and is threatening to go to a larger agency,” Reader said calmly from behind me. “Business-ending kind of stuff, unless we get right on it.” He shrugged and gave them the cover-boy smile. “You know how it goes when you own your own company. There’s always something threatening to end your world and put you right out of business. They won’t settle for less than me and Kitty, and since half of our creative team is here, we’re going to have to go into full-on ‘save the world’ mode.”
“What James said.” I didn’t look at Martini. “So we have to go. Hopefully we’ll be back tomorrow. Everyone’s staying at least the weekend . . . right, Mom?” I looked straight at her. “Since that’s the idea, isn’t it?
” I looked at Lucinda, too. They both looked hugely guilty.
“What’s going on?” Martini asked me quietly.
“Ask your dad—he’s in on it, too.”
“In on what?” Martini sounded confused and suspicious.
“Tell him about it on the way,” Reader said with a lot of authority. “We don’t get moving, we’re out of business. Permanently.”
“Right. Mom, can I steal Renata and Kevin, please? The only thing the client liked about the campaign was the two of them. They’re into the unprofessional model/real person look.”
“Sure, Kitty.” Mom gave me a long-suffering look as I glared at her. “It wasn’t my idea, okay? But it’s not out of the question, either. You haven’t put any deposits down anywhere yet.”
“Invitations are out.” Renata and Kevin were saying quiet good-byes to my grandparents. “And we sort of have a deposit out.”
“We aren’t charging you to come to our home,” Lucinda said dryly. Yeah, okay, I’d given up, and we’d asked Martini’s parents if we could get married at their estate. It would suck for my family, but we hadn’t found any place else we actually both liked. Reader, in particular, felt us getting married in Florida was insane.
“It’s been taking you two forever to make any kind of decision,” Mom added in an exasperated tone.
“And pretty much everyone invited is here, yes, got it. Wow, the timing is just so impeccable and all. I’ll ponder why you all thought now was such a great time to spring this on us while I go try to save the . . . business. Back in a while.” I hoped.
My dad shook his head. “I was with James.”
“You helped.”
He smiled. “I did. Take care of things, call us if you need us—we’ll have our cell phones on us at all times.”
“Thanks.” I hugged my family good-bye, asked my mother to make some phone calls for me, Martini and Reader hugged my parents and Martini’s and shook hands with my grandparents, and then we left.
Chuckie was at the door, ushering our teams out. He looked at me. “I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“But you knew it was going to happen.”