Parker quickly circled around his grandfather and rushed to the man’s side. “Yes, of course.” And in a very formal voice he continued, “Grandpa, this is Cody. Cody, this is my grandfather.”
Jonathan walked up to Cody and, without thinking about it, extended his hand in a greeting. Cody took his hand and shook it firmly, which surprised Jonathan immensely.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Cody said.
“The pleasure is all mine. How did you…? I mean, Parker told me you’re blind.”
“Oh, that.” Cody smiled broadly. “It happens all the time. I suffer from a condition known as ONH, optic nerve hypoplasia. My optic nerves never fully developed, or in other words, they never reached my visual cortex. So I am blind, yet I am not. There’s nothing wrong with my eyes, per se, I just can’t see consciously. My optic nerves end somewhere else in my brain, and I can see unconsciously, such as when you extended your arm before. It’s difficult to explain. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t—without my walking stick, I’d walk into walls all the time.”
“Ah, I think I understand.” Jonathan was still holding on to Cody’s hand and took the opportunity to study the young man before him: a youth of roughly Parker’s age, tall, with beautiful brown skin, intense honey-colored eyes, and short-cut curly black hair. Cody was handsome, and Jonathan had a hunch that his ancestry was mixed. Finally, he let go of Cody’s hand and gestured toward the living room. “Please, come on in. Have a seat. Parker, will you please get me another coffee and whatever it is you kids are drinking?”
“Sure, Grandpa, but remember, we brought lunch.”
“Oh, yeah, right. Well, let’s go to the kitchen, then. I’m sorry. I guess I’m still half asleep.”
Jonathan led the way back into the kitchen, where Parker had already deposited a white plastic bag filled with various carton containers from Jonathan’s favorite Chinese restaurant.
“What would you boys like to drink? Water? Beer? Wine? Or a soda?” With the company of his grandson and his boyfriend, people in the house, Jonathan was suddenly feeling elated.
“Water would be fine, sir,” Cody said, as Parker guided him to the table.
“Okay, Cody, let’s get this straight. Call me Jonathan or Grandpa, but please, please don’t sir me. It makes me feel so old and grown up. I may be almost seventy-nine years old, but that is not a reminder I need.”
“Yes, sir.” Cody blushed. “I’m sorry, I mean, Jonathan. Although that feels sort of odd, given Parker calls you Grandpa. Would you mind if I called you that?”
Jonathan picked up an almost pleading vibe to Cody’s voice. “No, of course not. Grandpa is fine!” He didn’t add that it made him feel as old if not even older as “sir,” but he let it go. After all, it was the truth. He’d been a grandfather for more than twenty-five years and was about to become a great-grandfather. Time to go with the flow.
“So, water for Cody, and you, Parker?”
“Got any root beer left?”
“I sure do. You know I can’t be without my favorite drink.” Jonathan grabbed two bottles of root beer from the fridge and put them on the table, along with three glasses. He poured water from the tap into a jug and placed that on the table as well, while Parker grabbed plates and cutlery from a cupboard.
“Anything I can do to help?” Cody asked.
“Almost there. Today you’re my guest, so you just sit and enjoy. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?”
Once everything was on the table, Parker and Jonathan also sat down, and the three men dove into the containers of rice, steamed pork stew, shrimp and other delicacies that Jonathan loved from Madame Wong’s. For a while, they ate in silence, before Cody took his cue from Jonathan and began to fill him in on his story.
“There’s really not much to say. I was born in Detroit. My dad was one of the last workers at the car plant up there before they closed it. He and my mother were never really meant for each other, and after I was born, my mom decided to move down here. I basically grew up here in the city. But my grandparents are still in northern Michigan. I don’t see them very often.”
Jonathan nodded in acknowledgement. “So, how did you boys meet?” Jonathan looked expectantly at both Parker and Cody, and he could see how they both were flushing a bit at the question. “Did I ask something inappropriate?”
“No, Grandpa, not at all. We’ve known each other a couple of years, as pals, but we didn’t know about each other, until we were both at a bathhouse at the same time. You know…” Parker let the last words trail, figuring that Jonathan knew what he was referring to. The old man chuckled.
“Oh, yeah, I remember those. I didn’t even know they still had them. I presume this isn’t something you’ll be telling your mother?” Jonathan had to laugh. He knew full well what happened in bathhouses, having visited them himself a few times when he was younger, but this was something parents wouldn’t understand. Given Jeanette’s protective attitude toward her kids, he doubted she’d appreciate that her son had met Cody in a place where men went to simply get their rocks off.
“No, Grandpa, and I hope you’re not going to tell her, either?”
“Nah, don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. But you boys better have a cover story ready for her. She’s as curious as I am.”
“Gotcha. Yeah, we’ll just say online dating, then. Right Cody?”
The young man was clearly blushing now, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken, and Jonathan felt he needed to come to his rescue. “Don’t worry, Cody. I’m gay, too. Not sure if Parker told you.”
“Yes, sir, I mean, yes, Grandpa, he did, and please forgive my bad manners. I completely forgot to tell you how sorry I am for your recent loss. That must be really hard for you.”
Jonathan’s mood suddenly dropped. “Yes, it is hard. When you’ve shared so much of your life with someone, losing that person is extremely difficult and not something I want anyone else to experience. Yet such is life, and both Dan and I knew this day would come. My husband was twelve years my senior, and we always knew there was a likelihood that he would go first.
“When we were young, it wasn’t something we discussed. Our age difference never mattered. We had similar interests, shared the same passions, and it never got in the way. I think the first time we really began to notice it was when Dan retired. Suddenly he was an old man, and I was still working, going to the office every day, and I wasn’t ready to let go. In hindsight, I was foolish. I could’ve spent those years with him, we could’ve traveled together, seen the world—”
Parker interjected. “But Granddad didn’t like to travel.”
“Huh, yeah, you’re right of course. Oh, well, we’d have been up at the cabin, and we’d have been fishing instead, reading books and just spending time with each other. He loved being out there. He was always at peace when he sat on the porch, looking out over the lake, or sat in front of his fireplace…” Tears sprang in Jonathan’s eyes, as he remembered and missed Dan. Realizing he had a guest in the house, he quickly wiped them away. “I’m sorry. Please forgive my emotional outburst.”
“No need to apologize.” Cody placed his hand on Jonathan’s. “I can’t even fathom what it must be like to lose someone you love. Not after so many years. I mean, Parker and I have been dating seriously for a few months now, and already the thought of losing him is so painful I can’t even imagine it, let alone after a lifetime. I’m sorry if I brought up sad memories.”
“It’s okay, Cody. I’m almost eighty years old; Dan and I had sixty years of amazing memories, and I cherish them all, good and bad.” Jonathan patted Cody’s hand and smiled. “So tell me, guys, why did you want to see me first?”
Parker straightened his back. “Well, Grandpa, like I told you, Mom and Dad don’t know that Cody is a person of color, nor that he is blind. I’m just afraid what they’re going to say.”
Jonathan was confounded. “Do you have so little faith in your mother and father?”
/> “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean, no. Well, I, uh…” Parker was struggling for the right words. “It’s just that, me being gay and all, I guess it could just be one thing too many for them?” Parker knew instinctively that he wasn’t making any sense, and Jonathan could see that.
“Here’s the deal, Parker. This isn’t about Cody being blind, or Cody being black. This isn’t even about you being gay. This is simply your fear of rejection. You’re afraid that your parents aren’t going to like the person you bring home. You’re afraid they might disapprove of your choice of loved one, am I right?”
Parker nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it.”
“Is there another?”
“No, well, I, uh, no. Sorry, Grandpa. I guess I’m just nervous. What if they don’t like Cody?”
Jonathan sighed. “Here’s the deal. It doesn’t matter what they say, or feel. Let me ask you this: do you love him? Do you love each other? Do you think he’s ‘the one’?” He made quotation marks in the air as he said the last words and then looked at both Cody and Parker.
“I certainly love Parker, from the bottom of my heart, and I want to make him happy,” Cody said with emphasis.
“I love you, too, babe, and yes, you’re the one for me.”
Jonathan smiled and more tears filled his eyes. “Wow, well, so what’s the problem?”
The two boys looked at him, waiting for more.
“I happen to know your mother, and I know your father, Parker. And if your granddad and I didn’t fuck up completely when we raised her, or when we accepted Paul into our midst, then you have nothing to fear. Absolutely nothing. I guarantee you that…” He paused and took a swig of his root beer. “However—and this is entirely hypothetical—if they were to act differently, then you have to make sure you live your lives, not theirs. They’re not going to spend the rest of their lives with Cody, Parker. You are, and you must make that decision if he’s the one for you. Not your mom, not your dad. Did I ever tell you the story of how I cut ties to my own grandparents?”
Parker nodded.
“So you know they couldn’t accept me for who I am, and I just didn’t have space in my life for people who didn’t accept me, even though I have very fond memories of spending my childhood summers on the Bates’ farm. But the grandmother I met with Dan was not the same person I remembered from my childhood. So we cut those ties. And your granddad had no relationship with his family. He never talked about it, so I can only assume it was for similar reasons.”
“He never told you?” Parker asked.
“No, and I had to accept that. I trusted him, and if he felt that was necessary, I wasn’t going to pry.”
“Not even now?”
“No.” Jonathan was firm, although he was still curious, even now, with Dan gone. But after all these years, the likelihood of finding any clues was minimal.
“So you think Mom is going to be fine with Cody and me?”
“She was when I talked to her. We’re going to Madame Wong’s this Sunday for a family dinner.” Jonathan smiled.
“What?!” Parker was shocked.
“Listen, I told you earlier today. I have no secrets from my kids, and you should take this to heart for your own future. I called her, and she’s worried about you, of course. Any decent parent would be. They love you unconditionally, and all they want is your happiness.”
Parker was visibly shaken, his face drained of blood. “She knows?”
“She sure does, and you’re good. So stop worrying, eat your food, and don’t let your root beer get stale.” Jonathan patted his grandson’s back encouragingly.
“What about your family, Cody? How are they taking the news?”
“My mom’s fine. She’s just happy I found someone to love. Her biggest worry was that no one would see past my blindness. She and Parker get along famously.”
“I’m glad to hear it, and I hope I get to meet her at some point. So you two are serious? Like engagement serious, or don’t people do that anymore?”
“Actually,” Parker blushed again, “we got engaged just a couple of weeks ago. We were going to tell you, but then Granddad got sick, which is why this is all a big mess.”
“That’s amazing!” Jonathan sprang to his feet and walked over to the fridge. “We have to celebrate.” He took a bottle of champagne from the fridge and put it on the kitchen table. To the amazed expressions of both Parker and Cody, he grabbed three flutes from a cupboard and poured the precious liquid, passing a glass each to Cody and Parker, keeping one for himself. Still standing, he raised his glass in a toast. “Here’s to you, boys! Congratulations on your engagement. Have you set a date yet?”
They toasted and sipped from their glasses.
“This is amazing!” Cody said. “I’ve never had champagne before.”
“Oh?” Jonathan looked at him. “Drink more, then. This is the nectar of gods, my favorite beverage. At least, it became my favorite after I first had some, many, many years ago, when Dan and I celebrated our first New Year’s Eve together…” Jonathan’s memory was still clouded by the events that had followed dinner that night. Luckily, everything had turned out for the best.
Parker explained for Cody’s benefit, “It’s a vintage Dom Perignon, Grandpa’s favorite. Let me see the label. It’s fifteen years old, a great vintage, too.” He whistled in appreciation.
“So,” Jonathan continued, “have you set a date?”
“No.” Cody quickly shook his head and sipped more of the champagne. “We’re in no hurry, and anyway, we want both families to be a part of this, the planning and all…”
“Makes sense, and I presume your family knows?”
“Yes, sir, they do.”
Jonathan sighed. At least he’s well mannered.
“Well, let’s finish lunch before it all gets cold.”
They ate in silence, until there was nothing left but empty cartons. Parker got up and disposed of them, making Jonathan an espresso, and tea for Cody and himself.
“So, tell me, Cody, I’m admiring those beautiful eyes of yours, that honey color. I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes like yours before. Is that part of your condition? I hope I’m not insensitive in asking you…”
“No, that’s okay. I’m used to answering questions. The eyes come from my father’s family. My mother’s lineage traces all the way back to the Ivory Coast. Her ancestors arrived on one of the first slave ships from West Africa to the new colonies. Over the centuries, I guess there was a blend in from white men, presumably the owners—our genealogy is a bit uncertain—but my mom had a DNA test done, and she was able to trace her heritage back to a tribe in the Ivory Coast. My father is Georgian, and apparently, there are several members of his family with honey-colored eyes. I guess I got lucky.” Cody smiled, although Jonathan could tell that he was pained by the fact that he had never gotten to know his father.
“I’m glad you have such a positive outlook on life, and I can see how Parker fell for you. What is it you do?”
“I’m going to college, majoring in mathematics and economics. I’ve always had a head for numbers, I guess.”
Jonathan nodded, but his mind was elsewhere, remembering a conversation long ago.
* * * * *
Chapter 6 - Family Ties
The sun had just set over the edge of the forest, and the lake was colored in orange hues, lying perfectly still, like a mirror, as not a single puff of wind touched its surface.
Jonathan and Dan were sitting on the porch of the cabin, overlooking the lake. After a long and intensive week in the city, they had come out to the cabin to unwind and relax, as they often did. It was their retreat away from the hustle and bustle of city life, society and their social life. Despite having been together for almost two years, and after all the dust around the passing of Jonathan’s parents had settled, they had only recently begun to live what most people considered a “normal life.” They still preferred to spend time alone, just the two of them, and Rascal, o
f course.
The dog was, as always, lying at Dan’s feet, fast asleep. Never was Rascal more content than when he was out here in the forest, where he could run and rummage the countryside free, without a leash. Not that he seemed to mind being in the city, as long as Dan and Jonathan were there, his pack. But out here, by the lake and the forest, was where the canine felt he belonged.
In the quiet of the evening, Jonathan appreciated how good their life was now, yet there was one question he had never asked his husband.
“Dan, how come you never talk about your family?”
“Not much to talk about, really. We didn’t see eye to eye on most things that matter to me. So I left.” Dan put his hand on Rascal’s furry coat, clearly uncomfortable with the question. “Why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering. You’ve seen what my family is capable of. Surely yours can’t be worse? I just…wanted to know. Can you understand that? I mean, one day we might have children, and they’ll want to know their heritage.”
“I’d really rather not talk about it.” Dan’s voice had a defensive edge.
“Why?” Jonathan asked, trying to make light of the situation. “Did you kill them?”
The joke fell flat, and Dan provided Jonathan with a look that instantly shut him up.
“Listen, Jon, please don’t take this the wrong way. I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family in almost two decades, and no, I didn’t kill them, but they’re dead to me. I’d really appreciate it if we could let this rest. I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I’d give my life for you. I just need for you to let this go, okay?” He looked deep into Jonathan’s eyes.
Jonathan nodded. “Okay. Don’t worry, I won’t bring it up again.”
***
And he didn’t, ever. Not for as long as Dan was alive. Sure, there were plenty of times when Jonathan had burning questions, particularly after Jeanette was born. Does she resemble your mother? Your siblings? But he never asked, honoring the promise he’d made to Dan all those years ago.
Jonathan's Promise Page 4