Instead of admitting his insecurity to the man that he’d been trying to impress since he’d decided to stop being the Hightower screwup and repent for the loss of his cousin’s life, Lawrence opted to play it cool.
“I don’t know if we’re there yet, Dad. We’re still getting to know each other. And there was the trust issue. I had to be sure she wasn’t a criminal. And now, well, if she stays in town, then I suppose we can explore a relationship. Plus you know, she’s got a lot going on, a lot to deal with—”
“Cut the bull, son. This is your father you’re talking to. I know you better than you know yourself. And I only have a few things to say on the topic. First, we could all tell at Penny’s party the other night that you were a goner. And because we could see how this special young woman had opened you up and put a smile on your face, we became just as smitten with her. You know your mother, she’s already dreaming of the wedding and her grand-babies.
“So, you might as well come clean about your feelings so I can properly advise you. What’s really holding you back? And it better not be that foolishness you’ve been spouting over the years about only marrying a woman if she can cook like your mama. Because they don’t make ’em like my Celia anymore and you’re going to miss out on a great love waiting for that.”
Lawrence had to laugh, even if it was a nervous chuckle. How had his father figured out his feelings for Minerva when he was only now starting to figure them out himself?
“Actually, dad, the girl can throw down in the kitchen. She is right up there with Mama. And you’re right. I do love her. I just want to make sure she’s really the one. For her sake and mine. I’m still getting to know her. She isn’t the little ’hood girl hanging with drug dealers I thought she was. She’s an amazing college graduate with aspirations to get her master’s in social work so that she can help the community. She doesn’t just have a smart-aleck mouth. She’s actually smart and well read. She’s funny. She’s sexy as all get-out. And when she looks at me…man…Dad…I just want to be sure. I want to be able to trust what I think I see in her eyes.”
“So what is the problem? Are you still worried about proving yourself, based on what happened to Michael? Because at this point in your life, son, you have to know that you’re not that same kid. You can’t keep living your life trying to make up for something that wasn’t your fault.”
Lawrence closed his eyes. He thought about what his father said. His feelings for Minerva had nothing to do with the guilt he carried about his cousin.
“At first, I didn’t really trust her because of what happened to Michael. I saw what my trusting the wrong person had done and how he basically paid with his life for my misplaced trust. And to tell the truth I haven’t even wanted to trust anyone but family since then. And then Minerva came along and…I don’t know…I wanted to trust her.”
“Son, based on everything you’ve just said, you already have it bad. Let me tell you a little story about a rookie cop whose first beat was down in the Fourth Ward. He was very serious about his job and cleaning up the streets. He strongly upheld his family legacy of honor and didn’t want to do anything to call that legacy into question. His parents and his older sister had drummed the mantra of Hightower honor into his head from the time he could understand words. So imagine his reaction when he saw one of the young women from the teen group that his sister mentored out on his streets with a female gang. Not only was she in a gang but she seemed to be the ringleader. And if you think your Minerva had a smart mouth, you should have seen your mother back in the day.”
“My mama? Mama was in a gang?” Lawrence couldn’t even finish his coffee. His mouth just hung open as he tried to picture his mama in a gang.
“She sure was. They were nothing like these gangs today, but they caused their fair share of trouble. And Celia was as complicated and confusing to figure out as your Minerva. What I later learned was that those girls had been her childhood friends and she kept them from getting into much more trouble than they would have if she weren’t with them. And since the Fourth Ward was just as troubled then as it is now, they protected one another. But I couldn’t see all of that then. All I could see was she was clearly a liar, a troublemaker and drop-dead gorgeous to boot.”
“I don’t believe it. Not my mama…”
“Believe it. And how about your mama used to be really close with your aunt Sophie, too. Sophie was in charge of her sorority’s teen program and she had taken a liking to Celia. Sophie saw to it that Celia got the sorority’s scholarship for college. And really took her under her wing. She said that the girl had potential and Celia tried her best to live up to the faith that Sophie had in her.”
“Okay, now I know you’re lying. Aunt Sophie and underprivileged youth? Mentoring Mama? Them being friends? Nah…” Lawrence shook his head in awe and disbelief. He figured there were probably lots of things he didn’t know about his parents. But this took the cake.
“I’m telling the truth. They would still be close today and Sophie might not be so troublesome if I hadn’t come into the picture.”
“Wow…I’m stunned. You would think your falling in love with Mama would have made them closer.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t done everything in my power to try and prove that Celia was just a gang girl not worthy of the attention Sophie was giving her. I was so bent on proving she was up to no good, I almost threw away the love of my life. By the time Celia was getting ready to graduate from college, I realized that I couldn’t fight my feelings anymore. Sophie felt betrayed. She thought that Celia had used their connection to snag a husband. And Celia felt that Sophie had been a fraud who lied because, even though she’d pumped Celia up to believe she could do anything, she didn’t think she was good enough for her baby brother or the Hightower name.”
Lawrence just stared at his father. He couldn’t think of a thing to say.
“But that’s their story. The important part of this story is for you. You can learn from my mistakes. I almost lost the woman I loved. There comes a time when you have to trust your own heart. Stop thinking about whether you can trust her, or whether you can trust her feelings for you, or whether she’s really trustworthy, and put some trust and faith in your own heart. What has your heart been telling you from the first time you laid eyes on her? Why did you feel the need to stay so close to her? Do you really think it was just your cop instincts? What is your heart telling you right now? You need to trust someone all right, son. You need to trust yourself. Trust your love.”
The words his father said felt like a lead weight being lifted off his chest. Why hadn’t he seen this before now?
“I gotta go, Dad. Thanks! I love you.”
Minerva woke up to the most intense headache she had ever had. The entire afternoon flashed in her mind and she thanked God she was still alive. She winced as she tried to sit up a little and opted to just lie there instead.
The stark white surroundings, the antiseptic smell and the bars on her bed meant she was in a hospital room. Lawrence wasn’t anywhere in sight. So she could only assume that David was right; Lawrence didn’t want anything to do with a woman who had carried drugs across state lines.
“So you’re awake” a woman’s voice came from her right. It had a snide and condescending tone.
When she turned her head to look at the woman, she noticed that the tone matched the facial expression. Her head hurt too much to put up with crap from people she didn’t know.
“Who are you and why are you in my room?” Minerva knew she could do snide just as well as the pointy-breasted old lady sporting a tight graying bun on the top of her head.
“My name is Sophie Hightower. I’m the matriarch of the Hightower family. I’m Lawrence’s aunt. And I’ve heard all about you from various family members and my friends here at the hospital. I’m a retired nurse and this was my place of employment for years.”
The Aunt Sophie? The one who all of the Hightower women she’d met at Penny’s party had had some kind of run-in
with? The one who didn’t think any woman but herself was good enough to have the Hightower name? Hmm….
If the woman’s history and condescending tone hadn’t already turned Minerva off the self-important I’m-the-queen-of-the-world speech would have done the job just fine. There was really no reason to ask why the woman was there. But she felt like being a smart aleck anyway.
“Okay, now I know who you are. Why are you in my room?”
The woman reared her shoulders back and poked out her ample chest. “I’m here to let you know you are all wrong for my nephew.”
“Well, you could have saved your time. I already know that. Anything else?”
Sophie huffed and her back straightened. “If you already know this then why were you shacking up with him all week doing God knows what and dancing with him at that…that girl’s party.”
“You mean Penny’s party? It was a wonderful party. I don’t remember meeting you there. Were you invited?”
“Please! I wouldn’t go to a party for that little street urchin if you paid me. And speaking of street urchins…You have to know that a man like my nephew is too good for you. He needs a woman with class, breeding, not to mention someone closer to his own age. Someone without the stench of drug dealers and gang bangers so close to her…” Sophie tilted her head and turned up her nose as she spoke.
Taller, shapelier, crime-free… Lawrence’s words came back to haunt her as she listened to his siddity aunt. As much as the mean old woman was getting on her nerves, she had a point. As much as Minerva loved Lawrence, it wasn’t going to work between them. The fact that he wasn’t there at that moment spoke volumes.
She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. She was not going to let Sophie Hightower or the fact that Lawrence didn’t want her make her cry. She had gone through too much to let this bring her down.
“Anything else?” She pointedly glared Sophie in the eye, even though her voice cracked under the words. “Because if there’s nothing else you feel pressed to let me know, I’d like you to leave now.”
“You don’t have to be so rude, young lady!”
“Rude? Rude is coming into a person’s room whom you hardly know and telling her you don’t think she is good enough for someone else. Rude is presuming you know enough about a person without saying one word to her, or even having a basic conversation with her, to make any judgments about her worth one way or the other. You are rude, Ms. Hightower! But I don’t have to suffer your rudeness.”
“I am old enough to be your grandmother!”
“And that means I should let you insult me? Please leave or I will call for someone to remove you.”
“What’s going on in here? Aunt Sophie, what are you doing here?”
Minerva had never been happier to see Lawrence. Even if he didn’t want her, at least he could get rid of his annoying aunt. She glanced at him and the concerned expression on his face made her heart melt.
He walked over to her bed and brushed his lips softly across her forehead. The mere touch heated her to the core.
“Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, baby. I went to grab a cup of coffee with my dad.” He narrowed his eyes at his aunt. “I hope Aunt Sophie wasn’t bothering you. Why are you in here, Aunt Sophie?”
“I just wanted to meet the young woman. I’ll leave since I’m clearly not wanted.” Sophie straightened her back and her pointy breasts poked out even farther. “Just remember what I told you, young lady.”
“Yeah. Got it. Goodbye.” Her voice was snappier than she felt as she pointed toward the door and pursed her lips.
“She’s rude, Lawrence, and totally unworthy! I hope you aren’t considering getting serious about this one. She’s—”
“None of your business or concern, Aunt Sophie. And we’d both like you to leave.” Lawrence stepped out of the door and used his arms to signal the way out for Sophie.
“But, Lawrence—”
“Leave. Please,” Lawrence barked.
Minerva watched the woman walk out of the room and angrily wiped away a tear that escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek.
The nerve of that tear! I refuse to cry. I’m not going to! She took a deep breath and focused her energy on the sexy cop in her room.
Lawrence wrapped his arms around her. “Seeing you here all bruised and knowing it’s my fault is hard. I’m so sorry, baby. I should have protected you better. I’m sorry.”
His words and his touch had a soothing effect on her and she was able to calm down a little. But she was still left with the ache in her heart, the ache that came from knowing they weren’t going to make it. She wouldn’t be able to have him in her life, feel his touch, any of it, for very long.
“I can’t believe I almost spazzed out on you again.” She pulled away and forced a smile her heart didn’t feel.
“You’ve been through a lot. If anyone deserves to spazz out, it’s you. I wish you didn’t have to go through any of it. I wish I could have gotten in there before he—”
“If his confession sends him to jail for killing my brother, then it was worth it. I’ll heal.”
“But will you ever be able to trust me to look out for you, to protect you? I—”
“You have been protecting me all week, whether I wanted you to or not. If it weren’t for you, David’s goons would have snatched me up and they might have really hurt me in front of the police station. You’re my very own Superman. And even he couldn’t save Lois Lane all the time. I don’t blame you for what happened.”
She nibbled her lower lip. “Are they going to arrest me?”
“Arrest you for what?”
“David said that he had me bring drugs to the McKnight twins in that jacket. I had no idea that anything was sewn in the jacket. I would never have—”
“There’s no evidence of that. It would be your word against his with the McKnights dead. No one’s going to arrest you. No, the only person going to jail is David Sims. He was charged with selling drugs and the murders, and they are looking into money laundering in relation to some of the small businesses he dealt with as a brokerage agent. He’s going away for a long, long time.”
“Oh. So I guess I can go back to California when I’m released from here.”
He shook his head. “No, you can’t.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“You said you would stay and we could see where this relationship could go. So you can’t go back to California because you’re staying here.” He brushed his lips across her forehead again and she felt the tingles all the way down to her toes.
It was time for a reality check. Was she the only one of the two of them who realized that things weren’t going to work between them? She took a deep breath, as she got ready to do the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.
Everything inside of him told him to just blurt out that he loved her. And he would have if she didn’t have a look on her face like she wanted to bolt out of the room. She was the one. He had to trust his gut no matter what.
“Listen—” he started.
“Lawrence, I—” she started.
They both stopped and the gentleman in him said let the lady go first even though his gut told him he would regret it.
“You go ahead.”
“Lawrence, this past week has been amazing. Hell, the past few months with you acting as my personal shadow have been amazing. If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I fell for you hard the first time I saw you. And that’s why I can’t stay. Your aunt, for all her stuck-up opinions, was right. I’m not the right girl for you. You need someone, like she said, ‘without the stench of drug dealers and gang bangers.’” She gave a soft smile as tears slid down her cheek. “Maybe someone taller, shapelier and crime-free.”
“I want you, Minerva.” Tell her you love her! The voice inside his head screamed. “You promised you would stay.”
“I know. But it would only be putting off the inevitable. My heart is breaking now. But if I stayed and things ende
d up going to hell later, I don’t think I could take it. We could just part friends and…”
Grasping, he threw out the first thing he could think of. “You could be pregnant.”
“I know. If I am, I’ll be sure to let you know as soon—”
“That’s not good enough. I’d like for you to stay here until we know for sure.”
She paused and then a hurt expression transformed her face and made him want to kick himself.
Why couldn’t he just put his heart on the line and tell her the truth?
“You don’t trust me…I…Okay…I’ll stay until we know one way or the other, if that’s what you want.” Her voice cracked. “Can you leave now? I’m tired. I promise I won’t escape from the hospital or anything like that. I’m just not in the mood for company right now.”
He left feeling like the biggest idiot and the worst kind of jerk combined. He had to find a way to make things right and get the woman he loved to see that they could work.
Chapter 17
Lawrence was going to kill his family. The women in his family were at his home.
“You can just sublet my apartment, Minerva. And it will work out perfectly if you accept the position at Hightower Security that James and Joel offered you. My place is right in Elmwood Park and the offices are right in Fair Lawn. You’ll see that you can walk a block in North Jersey and be in another town.” Samantha lounged on Lawrence’s sofa trying to move Minerva out of his home as if she were discussing the weather or something.
No doubt they meant well. They were trying to be helpful. But in the two weeks since Minerva had been released from the hospital, his family had hovered all around his place with their helpfulness. Lawrence had barely had a chance to tell her how he really felt about her. And now they had figured out a way to talk her into staying in the area. But they were taking her right out of his house.
That wouldn’t work at all.
The Law of Desire Page 17