“No.” Jacob shook his head then took the sandwich and finished it in four bites. He washed it down with cola, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and looked at Corby. “My mom doesn’t buy soda. She’s all for a healthy lifestyle. First time I tasted Coke was when I was twelve.”
Corby didn’t know why he said that.
“Thank you for dinner,” he said. “And for the information. There is something to think about.”
He stood and Corby almost started to shake. He didn’t continue the discussion because he was disappointed in her. Perhaps he was expecting something else and didn’t want to hear anything about Vera and Sylvia. She was such an idiot!
“Mom should be home soon, I’ve got to go,” he said.
“I understand.” Corby got up from the table and followed the boy to the door. She felt like her legs were rubber. She wanted to lie down and die.
When she opened the door and the wind swept her body, Jacob turned to her, lifting up the collar of his jacket.
“Do you want to meet for coffee somewhere?” he asked. “Or maybe yogurt or ice cream?”
Corby stood for a few seconds without speaking and without blinking, unable to digest what she just heard.
“What do you think?” Jacob smiled.
“Yes. That’d be great,” Corby said.
“Let me know when you have time.”
“Sure.”
“By the way, you look great.”
Jacob winked, went outside, and closed the door behind him, leaving Corby in full-blown confusion.
She stood there for a few seconds without moving, not even breathing, then she jumped up, grabbed her jacket, and ran to the fridge.
“He asked me out!” she cried as soon as she opened the lid of the freezer box. “Did you hear me? He asked me on a date! Not you, but me, okay? He didn’t even want to take you out, ever! You are two idiots! Especially you, Sylvia. You fell in love with him and he didn’t even know! He didn’t even like you.”
Corby stopped and listened to the silence inside the refrigerator. She thought she heard a voice or cry.
“Sylvia?”
But Sylvia was silent of course, down on her mutilated face.
“I didn’t hear anything. Just imagination. I think.”
Suddenly Corby felt sad. She had already started to forget that Sylvia and Vera humiliated her. It was all in the past.
“I understand you, Sylvia,” she said. “When you like a boy, you can do nothing about it. You like him and that’s it. I like Jacob a lot, now, but I didn’t want to like him. It just happened. And he likes me. He needs to think about what I told him. I hope he won’t change his mind.”
Corby zipped her jacket, straightened the collar.
“I can’t even explain how I feel, you know? I want to lie down and just think about him. Something inside of me ... something’s moving. I feel this movement. I don’t know what it is.”
Corby sighed.
“You know, girls, I can’t stay here with you for a long time. I’m going home, okay?”
Corby closed the lid and walked out of the refrigerator, then left the shop after making sure everything was clean as always.
It was still raining outside and she ran to the house under the glare of lights, thinking that she forgot to call Dad, that she forgot a lot of things lately, and that she needed to do her homework. She also thought about her parents and that she had to talk to them, because they wouldn’t just ignore her behavior. Finally, she thought about Jacob and that she wasn’t cold now, she was hot because thoughts about him warmed her mind and body.
“I love you, world!” Corby yelled, already on the porch of her house, raising her hot face to the rain. “I love you!”
CHAPTER 27
Corby, oddly enough, managed to escape a conversation with her parents about school, because their attention was focused on the fact that she didn’t call them when she started home. It was light outside and she didn’t think it would be important. Also she had forgotten that she failed two tests and two girls were missing from her school, so she had to be cautious. Corby thought that if they knew where those girls were, they would be even more worried. They would probably lose their ability to sleep for good. They didn’t know, they didn’t scold her for bad grades, and the day ended well. Corby went to school in a great mood. She didn’t think about bullying, she was sure she could correct her assessment (she didn’t turn stupid), and also the best boy in the world was waiting for her at school. She loved this boy more than anyone in her life. Corby didn’t doubt her feelings.
On her way to the building, in spite of her flight, she noticed that people turned to her and smiled. Why? What happened? Suddenly her good mood was forgotten and Corby felt anxiety, which grew into a panic at the threshold of the building. When she crossed the threshold and took a few steps toward the hallway teeming with kids, she thought she would lose her consciousness. All the lockers were covered with photos. Only one person was on those photographs. Corby immediately recognized her jacket and jeans. In the photo, she was down on her belly. Her jacket ran up showing her back and the top of her yellow panties. They were peeking out from under the belt of her jeans. She saw the folds of fat on her sides and her outstretched arms.
Pork for dinner!
That was printed on the picture.
“Great shot!” someone said behind Corby, but she didn’t turn around. She had lost the ability to move. She stood in the center of the hallway, without noticing people who passed her, and stared at the pictures. No matter what names she was called before, seeing herself on photos that were insulting and degrading was beyond her perception.
“Who did this?”
Corby blinked and saw Jane’s silhouette in front of her. She seemed to float out of a mist, while Corby was returning to reality.
“That’s just awful,” Jane said. “I would kick these jerks out of school. How could they do something like this? This girl must have felt so mortified.”
Then she rolled her eyes, grinned, and turned her back to Corby. Jane went to class and just now Corby noticed Molly, who walked after her popular friend, who needed her as much as a dog needed a fifth leg. After Corby punched her in the face, Jane took her back.
“What’s this? Who put these up?”
Corby had to shake her head again to come back from prostration where she was successfully sinking. This was the principal. She marched towards Corby, tearing pictures from the lockers along the way, collecting them in a thick pile.
“Who did this? Who’s in the picture? Mackentile? You always know everything.”
Corby looked at the principal, at the students who, unlike the adults, knew exactly who was in the picture, and shook her head. She wanted to run out of the school, she wanted to hide, but thought better of it. She couldn’t just walk away, she couldn’t. The school would contact her parents, they would call her, they would make her write an explanatory note. That was why Corby went to the office, told the secretary that she was sick and her explanation was entered into the system. The secretary asked how she was going to get home and Corby said that her dad was on the way, and after that she left the school building. She almost ran and nearly crashed into Jacob on her way to the door, but didn’t stop.
“What happened?” he shouted after her. Corby just ran. First she ran out of the gate surrounding the school, then along the sidewalk to the bus stop. She had never taken a bus before and didn’t even know how they worked, but today was the day. She didn’t cry, she didn’t know what to feel. She was flying in the clouds with her wings spread and fell hard on the ground, crashing into pieces. The highest and the lowest point in her life happened in a split second.
She ran to the bus stop and sat down on a bench to catch her breath.
There was no one at the bus stop. The bus arrived, stopped, opened the doors, and left without waiting for the only possible passenger. Corby opened her bag and looked for her phone, which had fallen to the bottom from the pocket. She had to call her da
d and ask him to pick her up and not to tell her mother. It was better than going with strangers in an unknown direction. She didn’t know how buses worked. Or taxis. Should she tell her address so they would bring her to her house? What would other passengers do at this time? Just wait for her? They could get angry. No, she preferred her dad and his questions.
A drunk man joined her a minute later. He was dressed in dirty clothes, smelled like mold and raw fish, and began to give her compliments. He scared Corby, so she threw her bag on her shoulder, clenched the phone in her hand, and waited for her father by the wall of a building to stay unnoticed.
“That was a weird story,” her father said as soon as she climbed into the passenger seat. Corby noticed that she was doing it a lot easier than before. Did losing weight and feeling thinner really make her feel lighter and more comfortable in life and was it really about more than just looking good to turn the boys’ heads. It was easier to breathe, easier to climb stairs, and to jump out of bed.
“Why?” Everything inside Corby twisted. She wanted to cry and not answer questions, even though she was ready for them and her question sounded rude.
“Your stomach hurt so much that you left the school without waiting for me?”
“Yes. So what? What’s weird about that?” Corby said even ruder.
Dad raised his hand.
“I’m not going to talk to you while you’re using that tone,” he said. “I interrupted what I was doing to come here and pick you up and you are so rude.”
“I’m not rude and you have nothing to interrupt.”
Dad took a deep breath through his nose, exhaled through his mouth, then again and again. It was his favorite technique to calm down and he constantly reminded his wife about it, which made her even angrier. Corby turned to the window, so he wouldn’t notice and did the same. It didn’t help her.
“I’ll take you home and leave for the meeting right away.”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t have to answer. I understood without it.”
“Wow! Buddhism helps you to read minds?” Corby didn’t want to be impolite, she didn’t want it at all, but couldn’t stop herself.
Dad filled his lungs with air again, and then suddenly turned off the road and stopped in the parking lot at a small cafe.
“I’ve never spanked you,” he said, “but that’s exactly what I want to do now.”
“Wouldn’t that be in contrast with your philosophy?”
“It would,” Dad nodded. “But I already do a lot of things in spite of my philosophy. One more action won’t make the situation any worse.”
“If you hit me, I’ll hit you back,” Corby hissed and couldn’t believe her words. She threatened to hit her own father! He shouldn’t get involved in her life! What did he want from her? He had never understood her and would not understand now. Neither he, nor her mother would understand. They didn’t have a clue as to what she felt or wanted.
“Don’t you think this is too much?”
“What about you?”
“Corby!”
“That’s my name, for fifteen years!”
Dad puffed for a few seconds, his hands were clenched into fists, and Corby thought he was really going to hit her. Not just hit, but punch her in the face so that blood would run out of her nose. The way she punched Molly. That didn’t happen. He seized the steering wheel and went back on the road.
“I’ll let your mother deal with you. But for me, if you continue talking like this, I’m going to send you to Tibet.”
“What’s that?”
“You will live in the mountains and study Buddhism. It will make you feel better.”
“Go there yourself.”
“With pleasure. Let’s go together, have a great time. You’ll start to meditate with me. This will lead you to harmony with your own spirit. Only lazy people talk about adolescence and all these problems. They just want to sit and wait rather than make at least some effort ...”
“You don’t live in harmony with your own spirit and now you are trying to teach me!”
“I don’t? I physically depend on circumstances that cannot be changed. I’m torn inside. You’re a kid and you can start from scratch. If you will understand the full depth of the Buddhist philosophy now and understand that you need to let go instead of holding on, you can review the whole essence of your creation. Each of us has our own universe for which we are responsible. You’re responsible for it as for your own house. The house of your universe is your soul.”
Dad was angry, very angry, and talked nonsense. For Corby it was nonsense and she didn’t even know what to say. After realizing that an argument with her father distracted her from really important things in her life, she turned to the window and thought that now she could understand why her parents argued all the time. They filled the air with energy. But was this energy positive as dad wanted or did he only pretend to strive for it? Corby didn’t want to be like them. No way.
Once at home in her room Corby checked her phone, and found a message, but wasn’t surprised that she didn’t hear the signal. It came just at the moment when she was arguing with her father.
I know what happened. Don’t worry about it. Want to meet somewhere? I saw a coffee shop near your place.
Corby thought that now she would certainly black out. She was happy in the morning, then shattered, and now soared to the clouds again. Now even closer to the sun.
“Jane will die of jealousy and envy. Or kill me,” Corby muttered, looking at the message. From Jacob. The same exact text that she just read. No mistake. “Or I’ll kill her.”
What just happened? He invited her on a date? On a real date? Despite the fact that she was humiliated this morning in front of the whole school? He didn’t care? He didn’t change his mind no matter what. It meant that he really, really liked her.
Corby wanted to scream, wanted to tell someone, to share, to brag about it. She wanted to have friends now, at least one friend. Someone she could gossip with on the phone and someone who could be happy for her now.
Okay. What time? I know the coffee shop you are talking about.
He didn’t answer immediately, but Corby knew that he was in school at the moment, in the classroom. If he invited her then he would go, no doubt about it.
Corby dressed in a sweat suit and took out a box with two pieces of jewelry from the far corner of her nightstand. She put on the earrings, then the chain with the pendant and went to the mirror. The smile on her face had never been so wide.
“Who’s the boss now?” she said. “Swallow your tongue, Jane.”
Corby was happy and even a message from Jane didn’t spoil her mood. It was a message with one question.
How did you like the exhibition?
CHAPTER 28
The jewelry looked great, but Corby couldn’t find clothes in her closet that would be good enough for a first date with the most beautiful boy in the world.
She went over all her T-shirts, sweaters and jeans, tried them all on in front of the mirror. Nothing was good enough. Plus, she discovered that almost all of her jeans were large for her, too wide at the hips and waist, so she had to tighten the belt. Finally Corby became desperate and went to her parents’ bedroom, then in her mother’s large closet that she didn’t share with her husband, using it for her belongings only. Corby went through hangers with colorful and beautiful, soft and fashionable dresses, blouses, jackets, realizing that there was nothing her size. Her mother was skinny and, as she claimed, she had always been that way. Corby opened a drawer with sweaters and found her luck. One of the sweaters, black and fuzzy, was too big for her mom as she remembered, because someone gave it to her as a present and it was not the right size, but when Corby pulled the sweater on, it was almost perfect on her. A little too tight and uncomfortable, but inspection in the mirror from floor to ceiling showed that it fit like a glove and displayed her figure. Boobs, as Vera said. She had plenty of those. Corby smiled, touched her earrings, and then
chose black shoes from her mother’s collection. If she didn’t notice the disappearance the last time, she might miss it this time around also.
Corby put mascara on her eyelashes and lip gloss on her lips, this time without any problems. She stood in front of the mirror and couldn’t stop looking at herself. Her shoulders were spread, her chin was up. If she went to school like this, Jane would eat her tongue.
“Or do something nasty.”
Not allowing sad thoughts to take over her mind, Corby put her jacket on and went to the shop. She planned to wait there until it was time to meet Jacob and not respond to her mother’s questions when she came home. She had already sent her a message about it. Her mother’s questions would destroy Corby’s attitude and she didn’t want that. She wanted to think only about her date and nothing else. She also was going to eat salad (they sold three kinds) and wash it down with water. Because now she intended to stay on a diet and exercise. She envisioned herself as skinny as Jane and her friends.
She couldn’t wait to go on a date and kept checking the clock, ignoring messages from her mother who asked what Corby would like for dinner. She replied that she was busy and asked her mother not to bother her anymore, but Mother sent three more messages before leaving her daughter alone. Time moved more slowly than ever before. Corby didn’t want to arrive on the first date earlier than the guy, but she was still there before him. If she had waited a few more minutes, her heart would have exploded. She felt like it would happen for sure. Her emotions were on edge, but this edge she liked a lot more than what she felt before killing Sylvia. These emotions were different.
Jacob was dressed in tight jeans, a blue sweater, and a fashionable gray jacket. It was cold, but he was still without a hat or a scarf, his face was red.
“Hi,” he said with a smile and gently hugged Corby’s shoulders. She didn’t return the hug, afraid she would fall. This was too much. She already melted from his smile and now hugs! Corby froze in place instead of making any movements and wished that he would never let her go. But he did and then stepped back and looked at her from head to toe. Corby regretted that she took off her jacket and hung it on the back of the chair of an unoccupied table. Now she wanted to bend her straight shoulders or even fall through the floor. This desire was the strongest. Why did she put on her mom’s sweater and shoes, why did she do her makeup to look like a fool?
Mean girl_A dark, disturbing psychological thriller Page 16