Suddenly an image of Joe’s mother popped into his mind. He could see her shaking her finger at him. He could hear her shouting, “You’re a slob, Joseph Andrew Richey! Why can’t you do anything right?” She slapped his face then ran from his room, sobbing and shouting obscenities.
“Why was she always so critical?” Joe mumbled to himself. “Why was everything I did never good enough?” His voice lowered even more. “Why couldn’t she at least say something positive about me?”
“Who was critical of you, Joe?”
Joe raised his head. Pastor Cummings was staring at him. “Oh. I guess I was sort of daydreaming. All of a sudden I could see my mother and hear her shouting at me.”
“Both of your parents are dead, as I recall from what you told me when you first started coming here. Is that right?” the pastor asked.
Joe nodded.
“Were you and your mother close?’
“I—I guess so. I did everything she asked, even when she wouldn’t take her medicine and sort of flipped out.”
“Was your mother ill?”
Joe swallowed past the lump wedged in his throat. How could he explain about Mom? Would Pastor Cummings understand, or would he be judgmental, the way Joe’s childhood friends had been when they’d seen his mother in one of her moods?
“Being able to talk about your feelings will help you get in touch with them,” the pastor prompted.
“My mother was mentally ill,” Joe blurted out. “She was diagnosed with manic depression, but she never acknowledged it or took the medicine the doctor prescribed.”
“I see. And how did her illness affect you, Joe?”
Joe stood suddenly. “I’ve spent the last week alone, wrestling with my past, and I thought I was ready to talk about it—but now I don’t think I am.”
The older man nodded. “It’s okay. We can talk more when you’re ready.”
Joe was almost to the door when he felt the pastor’s hand touch his shoulder.
“I want you to know, Joe, that I’m here for you. Anytime you need to talk, I’m available,” Pastor Cummings said in a sincere tone.
Joe nodded and forced a smile on his face. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”
Chapter 21
Lois stared at the telephone, praying it would ring. If only she would hear from Joe. It had been two weeks, and she was getting more worried. She was reaching for the phone when it rang.
Startled, she grabbed the receiver. “Hello.”
“Hi, Lois. It’s Joe.”
Lois felt as though the air had been squeezed from her lungs. She hadn’t talked to Joe since Thanksgiving and had almost given up hope of ever hearing from him again.
“Are you still there, Lois?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“How have you been?”
“Fine. And you?” Lois knew they were making small talk, but she didn’t know what else to say. Things seemed strained between them.
“Well, the reason I’m calling is, I was wondering if you’re still mad at me.”
“I was never mad, Joe.”
“Okay. Irritated, then.”
“Not even that. I was a bit disappointed because you left so abruptly on Thanksgiving and wouldn’t tell me what was bothering you.”
“I’m sorry, but my brother had me pretty upset,” Joe said. “I took off for Ocean Shores and stayed a whole week.”
“An impromptu vacation?” Lois asked.
“I needed time to think. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.”
“What have you been thinking about?”
“You. Me. My past.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“I’d like to talk about you and how you make me feel,” he replied.
“Oh. How’s that?”
Joe paused. Then in a high voice he sang, “Some might think I’m a clown who laughs and doesn’t like to frown. But I’m really a lovesick fellow who’s too scared to say so ’cause he’s yellow.”
Lois laughed, in spite of her confused feelings. “Did you make up that little ditty?”
“Guilty as charged.”
Lois wondered if Joe really did love her. In a roundabout way he’d said he did, if his silly tune proved how he felt. She chuckled as she played the words of Joe’s song over in her head.
“You’re laughing at my love tune?” Joe asked.
“Not really. It’s just—”
“I’ll be the first to admit I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.”
Before she could reply, he asked another question. “Are you doing anything special for Christmas?”
Lois hesitated. Was he hinting at spending the holiday together, or was he trying to change the subject? “I’ll be spending Christmas Eve with Tabby and Seth and his grandparents, at their retirement home. On Christmas Day we’ll be in Olympia with Mom, Dad, and my grandmother.”
“If you’re coming to Olympia, why don’t you stop by my house for a while? You could make it either before or after your visit with your folks.”
Lois considered Joe’s offer then asked, “Don’t you have any plans for Christmas?”
“Brian said he might stop by sometime on Christmas Eve, but other than that I’m on my own.”
Lois’s heart sank at the thought of Joe spending the holiday by himself. It wasn’t right for anyone to be alone on Christmas Day. “Why don’t you come over to my parents’ place for Christmas dinner? They aren’t Christians, but they’re very hospitable, and I’m sure they’d enjoy meeting you.”
“Will Seth and Tabby be there?”
“As far as I know.”
Joe was silent for a moment, and then he chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I’d like to join you for dinner. Just give me your parents’ address, tell me what to bring, and I’ll be there with my Christmas bells on.”
Lois groped for her slippers and padded to the bedroom window. She had been hoping for a white Christmas, but the brilliant blue sky that greeted her on Christmas morning was filled with sunshine and fluffy white clouds. She studied the thermometer stuck to the outside of the glass. Ten degrees above freezing, so there was no snow on the horizon. At least it wasn’t raining. Lois would be driving the freeway from Tacoma to Olympia on bare, dry roads, and for that she was thankful.
She had spent Christmas Eve in pleasant company with Tabby and Seth and his dear Christian grandparents. Today would be a sharp contrast. Although her grandmother had recently become a Christian, her parents still refused to see their need for the Lord. Lois hoped her light would shine so they could see how God had changed her life for the better. Tabby and Seth felt the same way. And with Joe there for Christmas dinner, her parents would be surrounded by Christians. She hoped it would make a difference in their attitude toward spiritual things.
Whistling “Jingle Bells,” Joe sauntered up the sidewalk toward the Johnsons’ brick home. He was in better spirits this Christmas than he had been in many years. Brian had come by his home the night before and told him he’d found a tract someone had left in his cab. He’d been civil and even said he was thinking about going to church. That was an answer to prayer, and if Brian did start attending church, maybe he would finally see his need for Christ. Joe had witnessed to his brother several times over the years, but Brian always refused to talk about it. Now Joe felt as if there might be hope. He would continue to pray for his younger brother and with God’s help try to understand him and work toward a better relationship.
Joe glanced down at the Christmas present he’d brought for Lois. He was also carrying a box of cream-filled chocolates he planned to give her folks. He was eager to meet them and hoped they liked candy.
He hesitated a second then rang the bell. Almost at once Lois opened the front door, and the sight of her took his breath away. She was wearing a blue velvet dress that matched her eyes and almost reached to her ankles. Her hair hung down her back, held away from her face with two pearl combs. He thought she looked like an angel.
He handed her the wrapped package, along with the chocolates. “The gift’s for you, and the candy is for your folks.”
“That’s so sweet. I have something under the tree for you, too.”
Joe followed Lois down the hall and into a cozy living room, where Seth and Tabby sat on the couch beside a middle-aged woman he assumed was Lois and Tabby’s mother. She had brown hair and eyes like Tabby’s, and her smile reminded him of Lois. Across the room sat an older woman with short, silver-gray hair and pale blue eyes. Lois’s grandmother, he guessed. A man with thinning blond hair, a paunchy stomach and eyes the same color as Lois’s was relaxing in a recliner near the fireplace. He stood when Joe entered the room. To complete the picture, a fir tree decorated with gold balls and white twinkle lights took up one corner of the room. Joe inhaled the woodsy scent and smiled. It was a pleasant scene, and he was glad he’d come.
“Mom, Dad, Grandma,” Lois said with a sweep of her hand, “I’d like you to meet Joe Richey.” She turned to Joe and smiled, then nodded toward the woman sitting beside Tabby. “This is my mother, Marsha Johnson.”
Mrs. Johnson offered Joe a tentative smile. “Welcome, and Merry Christmas.”
Lois gestured toward the older woman sitting in the rocking chair. “I’d like you to meet my grandma, Dottie Haskins.”
Grandma Haskins winked at Joe. “It’s so nice we’re finally able to meet. We’ve heard a lot about you, young man.”
Joe grinned when he noticed Lois was blushing. Apparently she’d been talking about him to her family. “Thanks. It’s great to be here.”
Lois’s father came forward, his hand extended. “And I’m Earl Johnson.” He scrutinized Joe a few seconds then his face broke into a broad smile. “I understand you’re a clown.”
Joe nodded, reaching for his hand.
“I remember seeing some hilarious clown routines when I was a kid and went to the circus. Have you ever worked in a circus?”
“No, I’m a gospel clown, but I also do kids’ birthday parties and some other events.”
“Well, I’m pleased to meet you, Joe.”
“Likewise, Mr. Johnson.”
“Earl. Please call me Earl.”
Joe pumped his hand. He liked Lois’s dad. The man had a firm handshake, and he seemed taken with the idea that Joe was a clown.
“Look what Joe brought,” Lois said, handing the box of chocolates to her mother.
Mrs. Johnson looked at Joe and smiled warmly. “Thank you. I’ll pass the candy around after dinner so everyone can have some.”
“Unless Tabby gets one of her pregnancy cravings and can’t resist the temptation to dive into the box before then,” Seth said with a deep chuckle. He winked at Joe and nudged his wife gently in the ribs.
“How would you like to sleep on the couch tonight?” Tabby asked, wrinkling her nose at Seth.
He held up one hand. “Not on Christmas Day. It wouldn’t be right to kick a man out of his warm bed on Christmas.”
Everyone laughed, and Joe took a seat on the floor in front of the fireplace. It felt good to be here with Lois and her family. It had been a year since he’d spent Christmas with anyone, and that had been just him and Mom.
Lois placed the gift Joe had given her under the tree and dropped down beside him, settling against a couple of throw pillows. “Dinner should be ready soon, but if you’re hungry we put some cut-up veggies and dip on the coffee table.”
Joe glanced at the tray on the table, and his stomach rumbled. He was hungry, but he thought he’d better not fill up on munchies, since the real thing would be served soon.
Everyone engaged in small talk for a while then Mrs. Johnson stood up. “I’d better check on the turkey.”
“Would you like some help, Mom?” Tabby asked.
“That’s okay, honey. You look kind of tired today, so stay put and rest.”
Mrs. Johnson’s gaze swung to her younger daughter, and immediately Lois stood to her feet. She looked down at Joe. “Keep the fire warm. I’ll be back soon.”
Lois helped take the turkey out of the oven then mashed the potatoes while her mom made gravy. She hoped everything was going okay in the living room. Joe appeared to be well received by her family and at ease with everyone.
“Dad seems to have taken a liking to your clown friend,” her mother said.
Lois smiled. “Joe’s an easy guy to like.”
“Like or love?”
Lois’s head came up at her mother’s direct question. “Who said anything about love?” She searched for words that wouldn’t be a lie. “Joe and I are good friends, and even though I care deeply for him, we do have a few problems.”
Her mother stirred the gravy. “What kind of problems?”
“Joe’s very reserved when it comes to talking about his past, and he doesn’t show any emotion but laughter.”
“But don’t you think being around someone who looks at the bright side of life would be better than having a friend who’s full of doom and gloom?”
Lois nodded. “Yes, you’re right about that. But too much laughter and clowning around could get to be annoying at times. It seems as if it would be better to have something in between, more of a balance, for a relationship to work.”
“You have a point, dear, but keep an open mind. A man can have much worse traits than being a funny guy.”
“I know, Mom, and I’m trying to stay open minded.”
Her mother moved away from the stove and went to the sink. “This gravy is still a bit too thick. I’d better add more water to the flour mixture.”
“I imagine you’re looking forward to becoming a grandmother in the spring,” Lois said then.
Her mother groaned softly. “I’ll say, but it’s kind of scary to think about being a grandma. It’s been a long time since I held a baby, much less changed diapers or tried my hand at burping.”
Lois dropped butter into the potatoes. “It will come back to you.” She chuckled. “It’s probably like riding a bike. Once you learn, no matter how long it’s been between rides, you still remember how to hold on to the handle bars and steer the silly thing.”
“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to mess up my role of grandma as badly as I did mothering.”
Lois whirled around to face her mother. “What are you talking about? You were a good mother. You always saw that our needs were met.”
Her mother’s eyes filled with tears. “I did my best to see to your material needs, but I’m afraid I failed miserably at meeting your emotional needs.” She blinked several times. “Especially Tabby’s. I should never have let your father make fun of her the way he did.”
Lois wiped her hands on a dish towel and hurried to her mother’s side. She put her arms around her shoulders and hugged her. “I’m afraid Dad wasn’t the only one guilty of tormenting Tabby. I did plenty of that myself.”
“Another area where I failed,” the older woman said tearfully. “I should have prevented it from happening. Instead, I watched you and your father become close while Tabby stood on the sidelines feeling insecure and ugly.” She gave Lois’s arm a gentle pat. “I’m glad the two of you have mended your fences. Even Dad and Tabby are getting along better these days.” She stepped back then looked at Lois. “I … went to church with your grandmother last week. Did she tell you?”
Lois’s mouth dropped open. “She never said a word, but I’m glad to hear it.”
“We asked Dad to join us, but he wouldn’t budge out of that recliner of his. He said a game was playing on TV, and he wasn’t about to miss it.”
Lois smiled to herself. She was so grateful her grandmother had made a commitment to the Lord, and now her mom had attended church. Hope for her dad, for both of her parents, welled up inside her.
Joe sat at the Johnsons’ dining room table, enjoying each bite of food he ate. Lois’s mother was a good cook, an
d she also seemed quiet and steady. Nothing like my mom, he thought. Being around Lois’s father was a pleasure for him, too. Since his own dad died when he was young, he’d grown up without a father. Maybe if Dad hadn’t been killed, Mom would have been easier to live with. At least she’d have had a husband to lean on, and Dad might have persuaded her to take the medicine the doctor prescribed. Maybe if she’d become a Christian sooner—
“Lois mentioned you use balloon animals and some juggling in your clown routines.”
Grandma Haskins’s pleasant voice pulled Joe abruptly from his thoughts.
“Oh—yes, I do,” he said, blinking.
“Maybe you could give us a demonstration after we’ve finished dinner and opened our gifts,” Lois’s mother suggested.
Joe looked at her and smiled. “I suppose I could put on a little skit.”
“When I was a boy I used to dream about running away from home and joining the circus,” Lois’s dad put in. “I either wanted to be a clown or a lion tamer.” His stomach jiggled when he laughed.
Joe chuckled. “Now that’s quite a contrast, Mr. Johnson—I mean, Earl. Did Lois tell you she’s learned some clowning tricks?”
He felt an elbow connect to his ribs and knew Lois wasn’t thrilled with his question.
“She’s never mentioned it,” her mother said, raising her eyebrows. “Lois, maybe you and Joe could perform a routine together, the way Tabby and Seth do.”
“That would be fun to watch,” Tabby agreed.
Joe glanced at Lois and saw her frown. He knew she wasn’t happy about doing a clown routine with him. He reached for her hand under the table. “Lois has taken only a couple of clowning classes, and she’s still practicing. Maybe it would be best if I went solo this time.”
Lois let out her breath. “Joe’s right—he will do much better without me.”
Chapter 22
During the rest of dinner, Joe remained quiet, answering questions only when they were directed to him. He was reviewing in his mind the clown routine he planned to do, as well as thinking about what he wanted to say to Lois before he went home.
Time to Laugh Romance Collection Page 28