by J. B. Miller
He rubbed a finger over my cheek then bent down and casually kissed me with feather light caresses. "I can do that," he murmured. "Understand that it will not change anything. However, an explanation is deserved." Cernunnos settled us into a more comfortable position before beginning his story.
"I am ancient, Dianthe. When I say this, I do not mean a few millennia. I am as old as the Earth herself. I was not born but came into being fully formed. One day I did not exist, the next I did. In all the eons of time I have wandered this planet, never have I experienced what we did today.
"Remember, I am a god of fertility, life, animals, wealth, and the underworld. Many have come to me asking, praying, even begging, for my help. Never have I sought anything for myself.
"I have a purpose. The Hunt is my responsibility on top of my duties as a god. In the past few centuries, fewer souls have called upon me and I have felt an emptiness growing within me." He paused and gazed at me for a precious moment.
"That is until I met you. You intrigued me from the moment I took you. The fact that you won the loyalty of not only one of my hounds but our Sorrow as well, is unbelievable. She is more yours than mine now. I observed and became intrigued.
"Over the past weeks, I have quietly studied you. Dianthe, you bring hope to all those around you. I can see your determination as you wrestle with your new roles. There has always been an attraction and it grew little by little until today."
"What happened to change it today," I asked him. It was fascinating to hear him tell his story. Cernunnos was not one to share. The fact he had told me as much as he had beggared belief, my heart ached for him. He had been so alone for so long. Surrounded by others, he still walked a solitary path.
"Shall I tell you sweet, little godling? Do you truly want to know what brought me to my knees before you? I will." He nipped my ear and sent a shiver through me.
"Yes," I whispered. I couldn’t help the shiver that slid down my body at his words and action. "Tell me, Cernunnos. I need to understand what this is."
A rueful smile tilted his lips before he tugged me closer and rested his chin on my head. "I saw you with your hound, Caomhnóir, earlier. I listened as you spoke to him. You do not treat him as an animal but a friend, the same with Nightmare. Most of my Hunt treat their mounts like brother in arms but treat the Cú as if they were common hounds. You, my beautiful girl, see they are not."
I bristled, "That’s ridiculous. They are sentient beings," I argued. "Just because they can't talk like you and I do not make them animals." I tried to stand but Cernunnos pulled me back against him. "Just you wait until I get hold of Caratâcos. I'm going to put a flea in his ear. How dare they treat the hounds like that?"
My rant was interrupted by Cernunnos's laughter.
"What," I questioned, "is so funny?"
"That beauty is exactly why I fell," he whispered.
"Fell?" I questioned.
"Yes, fell," Cernunnos finished. He tipped my chin back until I was looking up into his chocolate colored eyes. "The exact moment I fell in love with you, Dianthe, was just now while I watched you pray. All around you the divine stand. I am a god myself. However, your faith has never wavered. So strong," Cernunnos murmured. "So very perfect."
His lids lowered slightly and heat blazed in the depths of his eyes. "You are everything I have ever wanted, Dianthe, but never knew I craved. No matter what it takes, I will prove that to you. Are you willing to give me that chance? I will not push you for more than you are willing to give. We have eternity to explore our sexual natures.
"There is so much more to a relationship, little girl, than sexual gratification." Cernunnos stroked my cheek tenderly before continuing, "Will you give me that, my heart? Give me the chance to prove to you what we will be?"
Oh my God, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t keep collecting mates. Damn it, there is something major here though, I could feel it. Thinking rapidly, I tried to work out something that everyone would agree to.
"Cernunnos," I held up my hand. "I will agree but I have conditions. I know there is something between us. It would be stupid to try to deny it. A blind man can see it. However, I'm not ready to jump into bed with you. There has been too much of that going on recently," I sighed.
"Since my birthday, my life has been turned upside down. Instead of finding a boyfriend like most girls my age, I found myself with three permanent mates. With," I stopped him before he could comment, "a fourth knocking at the door.
"I have been pulled from my world and forced to hit the ground running. Even after all that I'm still willing to try. With the provision, we really get to know each other first and no means no, got it? Oh, and you will be smoothing things over with the boys. I will not be the bone in the middle again. Do we have a deal?" I was out of breath after that but it was the best I could do on the fly.
Cernunnos looked at me intently as if mulling over all that I had said. "This no means no, does that refer to sex?" he questioned.
I could not help it I rolled my eyes. "That refers to anything I do not want to do."
He nodded his head before responding, "This is mostly acceptable. I also have conditions, if you would." He paused while waiting for me to respond.
"Okay, tell me what they are. I can't agree or disagree until I have the terms." Man this was sounding more like a contract. My spidey senses were trying to warn me about something but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what.
"Understood," Cernunnos intoned. "My terms are simple. You openly and whole-heartedly agree to this relationship. You cannot pretend. You will be seen as the Lady of the Hunt from this moment on and my consort," he said the last with a wicked glint in his eye.
Okay, this was getting into dangerous territory but I kept quiet while he continued.
"I accept that no means no, but you must be open to new things and cannot dismiss them arbitrarily. You must be willing to take on new experiences without prejudices. All I ask is that you give it and us a chance?" The serious expression on his face concerned me. I knew I was in over my head, but at this point, what was I supposed to do?
"Okay, I am willing to give it a go. I am serious though. I am not hopping into bed with you. I did that already with Daniel and within a week I had three guys permanently attached to me," I sighed resignedly. "I'm not promiscuous but sometimes I feel…" I trailed off. How could I explain that even though I knew on a deep level that having three mates was all right, I still felt like a slut at times?
He tilted my chin up so I was forced to meet his gaze. Fire blazed from his eyes and the first true hints of anger shown there.
"Never," he told me softly. "Never belittle yourself like this again. You are not a whore." I flinched at the harshness of the word. Cernunnos's eyes softened before he continued, "You are so very innocent, my sweet girl. Sex is not the immoral things mortals make it out to be. It is a natural function of all living creatures. We have sex to reproduce and for pleasure. The longer-lived species tend to have embraced it more and their practices tend to be more varied.
"I am sure you have already seen hints of this in your relationship with Puck?"
I flushed a deep red with embarrassment at some of the things we had done together over the weeks we had spent together. It had been hard for me to accept some of the things the boys were into, but Robin and Daniel had told me over and over pretty much the same things that Cernunnos told me now.
"Robin is Bi," I whispered. "So is Daniel. It's kind of hot watching them together, then when they gang up on me…" I trailed off, blushing again.
"And your wolf," he raised a brow.
"Um, well, he doesn't join in when the boys play." Cernunnos just raised a brow waiting for me to continue.
"But, he is pretty kinky. He loves anal sex. I think it is because it's such a dominant position. I had to promise to let him be my first there."
Cernunnos was trying to hide a smile but he failed miserably. Laughing softly he rubbed a finger over my brow smoothing out the
thoughtful wrinkle.
"Was he? Did you give your wolf that first taste of this sweet ass?" he asked as his other hand gently ran over the globe of my left cheek.
"Yes." I bit my lip. Damn, I could really do with some of the suaveness of my mates right now. I felt like a fifteen-year-old girl spilling all her deep dark secrets. There didn’t seem to be a filter or a mute button for my mouth. I felt so very young in that moment. I had lost complete control and Cernunnos was in charge. There wasn’t a choice other than answering his questions right now.
The light in his eyes told me that he knew it and was taking advantage of it. "Did you like it," he murmured.
"Yes, I did. I was scared at first and it did hurt. But so did losing my virginity and I understood that there would be some discomfort. But since then, I have grown to really like it." I looked at him from under my lashes and decided to be brazen.
"You know what I really like though?"
With his eyes heavily hooded, he asked, "What is that, Grá mo Chroí?"
I smiled at his choice of words—love of his heart, he didn’t know me well enough. All my boys were the same. They professed their love for me before they knew me. Who I was, the real me, this person inside the body of the woman they wanted. I understood that some mystical mate bond linked us and tied us closer than anything else. But they failed to understand that until they knew all of me, the good and the bad, that I would not be able to accept their words as truth.
In truth, I had been with Cernunnos longer than the others. However, time here was strange. I had lost count and when I asked, the answer was usually along the lines of how long is a piece of string.
I cleared my head of such thoughts and came back to the matter at hand. He was still waiting for my answer. I leaned so close to him that our noses were touching and told him silkily.
"When all three of them have me together. The feel of all of them inside of me at the same time is overwhelming. I love knowing that I am giving them pleasure and the fact that I am not in control. They take and take until I can give no more and then it all comes crashing back to me in the largest orgasm of my life."
His eyes had glazed over and I could tell he was picturing the scene in his head. I almost laughed. At the end of the day, even though he was a god… He was still just a man.
I stood quickly and backed away from him. It only took a fraction of a second for his eyes to home in on me but I was already backpedaling out of the grove.
"Look at the time," I winked at him. "I must get going, I have training you know. My boss doesn’t like it when I'm late. And he's a real ball breaker you know." I turned and ran from the little grotto I had claimed as my own. His laughter rang out behind me and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.
Chapter Nine
Dia
Animism, I mentally shook my head. Why I was even surprised that a Celtic God of the Hunt believed in animism, I had no idea.
You would have thought by now that I would be devout as well, but hey, twenty years of Catholicism is hard to ignore. Right now, my lord and would be slave driver, Cernunnos, was taking a break in my Hunt training to drill me on the way of this new world.
"Dianthe, are you listening?" His voice was full of exasperation. I didn’t even realize I had it in me to annoy a god this badly.
"Spirits and divine beings inhabit everything in our worlds, Dia. Even humans can commune with them. Every mountain, river, spring, marsh, tree, and rocky outcrop around us has a life essence."
Cernunnos raised his arms to encompass the whole world.
"Once the Celts understood this and lived in harmony with nature and gods." A sad smile tilted his lips in memory before he continued, "That was a time the Fae and gods both walked the world of man. We were almost at peace. How I would love to see that time again. When the land was not poisoned by overreaching mortals whose goal was to rape the earth for their own profit."
The distant look in his eyes faded and he came back to the present. "Do you know what the Bile trees are, A rúnsearc?"
"Cernunnos," I began. "I am not your secret love."
Devilment played in his gaze before he replied, "Indeed you are, A rúnsearc. You will not accept me openly yet as your mate. Therefore, you are indeed my secret love.”
"We have had this conversation, Cernunnos. I already have three mates. I don’t think I can handle another one. Besides, what would Robin, Kale, and Daniel say?"
"They would understand, Dianthe. They would see the bond is there and know that I am ensnarled just as they are. You are meant to be ours. The heart has a great capacity for love."
I was about to argue when he held up a finger to pause me. Then he continued his thought. "If you were blessed with three children and then found yourself expecting again. Would you love the fourth any less than the other three? Could you say, I already have three children, I cannot possibly love another?"
"That is hardly the same thing," I exclaimed.
"Is it not," he replied calmly.
My mouth opened then shut. Damn it, why was it different? Because society told us that we could only love one person romantically? The way that I thought and saw things were steadily changing.
"You have a point, Cernunnos. I am just not ready to take the step of having another mate. The guys all hit me at once and it was," I paused searching for the right word before I finished with, "overwhelming."
A look of understanding crossed his features and his gaze softened. "That I can believe, A rúnsearc. I am happy to wait until you are ready to take that next step. I will not stop trying though. Now Bile, what does it mean?"
I blinked. He switched gears faster than any male I had ever met. I sent a glance to Brónach who had been watching patiently from the sidelines and she just shrugged as if to say, "Hey, this is a totally different Lord of the Hunt than I have ever seen. You are on your own sister.” Great, now even his own people didn’t even have a clue what direction he was going in.
Oh well, go with the flow. "Sacred trees, the Bile are sacred trees. In particular Ash, Yew, and Oak."
"Good, Dia. If you are ever lost, seek out the trees. Ask them for help and they will help you."
"How will they help? I mean, will they actually speak to me?"
The horned bastard just laughed.
"You will know when you have need to ask," he grinned boyishly.
Something inside my mind went snap!
I think having got the run around for so long now with all my paranormal other halves had finally sent me over the deep end.
"Arghhh! What is wrong with you freaks?" I threw up my hands and yelled at him. “A god freak," I pointed a slender finger at him. "That’s what you are. I swear, freaks surround me!" By this time, my hands were waving in the air while I vented. "Fae, furry, and now godly, I can't win." Storming up to him, I poked him in the chest. "You want me to learn how to be part of the Hunt right, god boy?" The gasp behind me did not come only from Brónach; it was more of a communal intake of breath. If I hadn’t been so wound up with losing my ever-loving last nerve, I might have noticed the majority of the Hunt behind us. Even my hound had lowered his belly to the ground while whining in worry. As it was, my attention had zeroed in to the current bane of my existence.
I continued to poke him in the chest. Each time my fingernail stabbed those rock hard pectorals, I enunciated a point.
"I was blissfully unaware of any of this until a vampire tried to eat me." Poke.
"I had my own place and for the first time ever was living on my own!" Poke.
"I was happy!" Poke.
"Then," I swallowed. "Then a stupid vamp gets hungry, Kale saves me, Robin breaks into my first ever sex time, and then Kale fucking bites and knots me!" Poke… Poke... Poke…
"But," I paused again. "That’s okay. I got past that. I got past having three men in my life and meeting my bio-mum. I handled my mates going off to Faery for weeks and finding out my dad is an honest to goodness god.
That�
�s all g..r..e..a..t! Then lo and behold, from the fucking sky a horde of nightmares ride down and kidnap me. My guys have no idea what has happened to me. I bet they are worried to death," I sniffled forgetting to poke him.
"Dianthe," he reached for me but I slapped his hand away. Again, I ignored the shocked murmurs behind us.
"No, you don’t get to Dianthe me. Not only did you kidnap me, you bound me with my thanks. You declared like the almighty king you obviously are, that you are my mate as well.
"That’s not normal! You can't expect me to just fall at your feet as if I should be thankful. To top it off, over the last weeks you have made me want to love you. You're right. I would not love a fourth child less because I already loved the other three. Damn you," I choked on the last word.
Emotion had clogged my throat as tears poured down my face. I slowly sank to my knees while covering my face with my hands. "I don’t know what to do anymore," I sobbed. "What to think… I just feel so lost."
I shuddered and lost it then. All of the repressed emotions I had been ignoring over the past months seemed to explode outward.
Everything, every fucking thing that had happened from the night Annie and I went to Cable flashed through my mind. My body hunched over tighter as I curled into a ball trying to block all the memories. The reality that paranormal creatures were real and that I was one of them was only the tip of this colossal clusterfuck.
Images of my family came to blaring clarity in my mind. My mother, the one woman in the world who was always ready with a smile and a word of encouragement, now had eyes that always looked strained and worn from the infighting.
My sister, Mara, who was the cookie cutter wife and mother and had thought having a little sister was the best thing ever. Just weeks before my birthday she was helping me pack as we laughed about how dad would be harassing Sean to make me move in with him. Or better yet, to send me packing right back home.