I could still let go…
He swung his right hand up to join his left, and braced the soles of his boots against the vertical rise. He glanced up at the brilliant blue sky above him and wondered what could be beyond this. What would he see when he stood upon this last precipice? Or would he cease to exist the instant he had achieved his goal?
His shoulders protested his weight, and his fingers began to cramp. He pressed his forehead against cold stone.
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want this…
He snorted humorlessly, as he considered that these thoughts were only aiding his demise.
When the thing you must lose is too great to bear…
He took a mighty breath, a gulp of life, and allowed Bray’s emotions to pop into his mind. As uncomfortable as it was to have someone else inside his own head, he did not want to do this alone—he wanted her with him, at the last.
She was annoyed in that moment, and his lip trembled. Doubtless she was irritated that he had sent her on a false errand. She would resent him for that lie, later.
I could still let go, he thought again. But at once he knew this to be untrue. There was no turning back.
“Okay,” he said aloud. “Now, it is.”
He began to haul himself up, teeth gritted, until he could throw his elbows over the ledge. He pulled his knee up over the lip and rolled flat onto his back. As he did so, the connection he felt with his body, still performing the Ada Chae in Accord, snapped—a severance both jarring and complete. He was no longer a part of that world. He breathed heavily and blinked up at the blue.
In a rush, a surge of memories flooded his mind, overpowering him with their number and magnitude. His memories, his life. His family, all of his abundance of brothers and sisters. His youth. Bray as a girl, and his early years as a Cosanta. Quade. Arella.
He lay for a long time, mentally sifting through it all, like a man paging through a collection of long-forgotten, once-favored books. And he could not say what emotion dominated, in all that muddle of feeling swimming through his spirit.
At length, however, curiosity won out over nostalgia. He pushed to his feet. He glanced down into the crater that was the Aeght a Seve. The Confluence looked miniature from this vantage, far removed.
He turned his back on the Place of Five, and found that the stone beneath him gave way to a sandy shore. He gazed out across clear waters. He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the glare of the sun. In the distance he spied an island, verdant against the blue of the sea. A glass spire—a structure no man could make—towered above the trees.
With trembling hands, Yarrow bent to unlace and remove his boots. He wiggled his toes into the soft white sand, and trod down to the water. A wave lapped up over his feet, wetting his pant legs, and he relished the cool sensation.
Glancing up, he found that a small boat had set out from the distant shore, cruising in his direction with unnatural speed. It was propelled by a single man with an oar.
“Yarrow!” the man called, waving to him.
“Adearre?” Yarrow shouted back, with a puckered brow. If Adearre were here with him, perhaps he had truly died.
The canoe, aided by the tide, cut through the sea with all haste. Yarrow waded into the waves to help pull the vessel ashore, but Adearre vaulted into the sea and embraced him with force. Unlike when he had seen him at the Confluence, Adearre now seemed as solid as Yarrow himself, a fact which lent weight to his ‘I-must-be-dead’ theory.
“It’s good to see you, love,” Adearre said, pulling back. “Here, get in.”
With the aid of his deceased friend, Yarrow scrambled into the wooden boat, sodden and confused. As Adearre climbed in, the boat swayed dramatically from side to side. Yarrow gripped the gunwale. He could feel the splintery grain beneath his fingertips so precisely, it seemed that it—and he—must be real.
“Adearre, where exactly are we?”
His friend did not answer immediately; he was busy lapping his oar into the water, pushing against the current.
“Have you ever read the ancient Adourran legends about the afterworld?”
Yarrow nodded. “Death shepherds departed spirits across the Spectral Sea.” He cocked his head to the side. “Does that make you Death, then?”
Adearre laughed, flashing his bright white teeth. He appeared almost otherworldly, standing above him, awash in sunlight. “Not Death, merely dead.”
“And, am I…?”
Adearre looked down, his amber eyes full of understanding. “No, Yarrow. You are not dead. Your body and your spirit both live, though separately.”
Yarrow let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
“It is for this reason that we have been awaiting you. You have been long expected.”
“We?”
The coastline of the island grew nearer. Yarrow could make out the ridge of a dune and the start of the tree line. The glass spire that rose from the forest seemed impossibly large.
“The Company of Spirits.” Adearre darted his oar from one side of the vessel to the other with a slight splash, propelling them further away from the Aeght a Seve. From home. From Bray. “There is a Counsel underway to determine the future of the Chisanta. And your perspective is greatly desired.”
Yarrow leaned back in the boat with a frown. “Why should that be?”
“Because,” Adearre said, as if it were obvious, “you alone can speak for the living. And it is to decide the fate of the living that we meet.”
Yarrow had no ready response to this. Everything had turned strange. He felt a kind of dream-logic dragging him forward, and was half certain that he would wake at any moment.
He searched his mind for Bray—for the point that contained her living self—but she was beyond his reach. He had only his own uncertain feelings to ground him.
Bray… he called out into the void of his mind. Bray? he thought again, but softer, without hope.
She could not answer. He had taken himself too far from her.
The glass spire loomed above them as the keel hit sand. Sunlight refracted into its infinite facets, painting a constellation of rainbows.
Yarrow gazed up at it with his mouth agape.
Adearre hopped out onto the beach and held out a hand. Yarrow stared at it, unmoving.
“Come. You will want to see this.”
Yarrow paused for only a heartbeat, then took the offered hand and leapt into shallow waters.
Chin up, he reminded himself. Feet flat.
Afterword
Thank you for reading Lamentation of the Marked. An extra big thanks to those who have been waiting a long long time for its release. I appreciate your patience and support.
Please consider leaving a review at your eBook store of choice, as I would love to hear your feedback. Reviews help indie authors (such as myself) sell our work, and so they’re always appreciated—positive or negative.
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A little about this book…
Lamentation has been a trial for me. It was far more difficult to write than the previous two in the series. I struggled. I doubted. I suffered technological set backs, which necessitated the complete rewriting of portions of the story—all of which had me feeling like Sisyphus with his boulder. I bobbed between total writers-block and days of extreme, frantic long hours of work. There was pain in the process. And I imagine that for some of you, there was pain in the reading as well.
But for all of it, I still believe in this story. It’s sad and it’s dark, but it’s true to the characters and the world. In the end, these stories come down to sacrifice and struggle. This is the tale of people who lose pieces of themselves and keep moving anyway. Accepting that this story was going to be tragic was a hurdle I had to overcome. I had to let it chew me up a bit.
I wanted to address this here, because I receive many messages
from readers who are also writers, or hope to be writers in the future. And while it would probably be nicer to read in an “afterword” that the writing of the book was a pleasure—that it poured effortlessly from my fingers as a muse whispered in my ear—I think the truth is more helpful. Sometimes writing is hard. Sometimes it’s less hard. Sometimes it’s torture. The key is to keep pushing forward and to have faith in your vision.
I learned a lot while writing this book. If it had come to me more easily, I suspect I would have learned less. But that’s life, I suppose. Now on to the next one!
Acknowledgments
This book might never have been if it weren’t for my wonderful husband. He has worked tirelessly to support us while I chase my dream. Thank you. I love you.
Thanks to my parents, who offered me a tropical getaway when winter blues were cramping my writing style. And to Dad especially, who always helps me spiff up my final drafts.
Thanks to Troy, Cheer, and Greg for taking the time to read for me and offer feedback.
A big shout out to all of my Jiu Jitsu friends and teachers, who have helped me write better fight scenes, especially Ju-Hwan, Ji-Ung, Rob, Scott, and Tom. 감사합니다!
Also, much love and gratitude to my supportive extended family, in particular my Aunt Ellen, whose tax savvy has been a lifesaver.
And, once again, thank you readers—thank you for not forgetting about me and my story, even in a world of binge consumption and short attention spans. Thanks to those who sent me messages, particularly of the pestering “when’s-the-next-book-coming?” variety. Sometimes I needed those!
About the Author
March McCarron is the author of The Marked Series. She writes character driven fantasy and science fiction stories. She grew up outside of Philadelphia, but has relocated several times, including a three year stint as an English teacher in South Korea. In addition to writing, March is an avid traveler, a student of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and a sore loser at Scrabble. She believes strongly in the continued value of the Oxford comma. Her other interests include photography, talking about herself in the third person, and coffee as black as her villain’s soul.
Get in touch:
www.marchmccarron.com
[email protected]
Glossary
Accord: The walled capital city of Trinitas, home to the royal family. Located on the Dalish continent, surrounded by marshes.
Ada Chae: (ah-duh CHAY) A martial art form practiced by the Cosanta for health, self-defense, and meditation. Used to aid Cosanta in entering the Aeght a Seve.
Adearre Mallez: (Uh-DEAR-aye Muh-LEZ) An Adourran Chiona, gifted with exceptional observation. Worked in criminal justice with Bray Marron and Peer Gelson.
Adourra: (Uh-DOOR-uh) The southernmost nation of Trinitas. Having a hot, dry climate, Adourra is known for its wine and spicy food.
Aeght a Seve: (ITE ah SAY-vay) Place of mental retreat for the Chisanta. It consists of a grassy circle and tree surrounded by four massive stony steps. All told, there are five levels, each representing a level of gift and sacrifice. In order to gain a new gift, a Chisanta must climb to the next step within the Aeght a Seve.
Ander Penton: An elder Cosanta who lives at the Temple and helps run the “testing.” A Cosanta liaison to the Chiona.
Arella Lamhart: The potential daughter of Yarrow and Bray, witnessed by Yarrow within the Sphere of Chisanta.
Arlow Bowlerham: A Dalish Cosanta who grew up wealthy and aspires to politics. His gift is luck, though he conceals it. He served Quade until he switches allegiances to the Pauper’s Men.
Bevolder: Old word for spirit-mate. A couple—one Cosanta and one Chiona—who are supernaturally linked.
Bray Marron: A Dalish Chiona gifted with the ability to phase through solid objects. Growing up in Mountsend, a mining town, her experience with an abusive uncle led her to a career in criminal justice.
Britt Penrose: A Cosanta with a stern personality and a gift for camouflage.
Cagsglow: A remote town in southern Daland, where Ko-Jin and the royal siblings spent many months in hiding.
Cape Cosanta: Home to the Cosanta, located on the southernmost peninsula of Chasku.
Chae-Na Bellra: Daughter of the former king and queen, and younger sister to King Jo-Kwan. She is a gifted archer.
Charlem Bowtar: A Chiona of the previous age, who became the first modern Chisanta after all of his companions and his wife, Jae-In, died to protect the Confluence. Yarrow witnesses his history in a vision at the Confluence.
Chasku: (Chah-Skoo) One of the three nations of Trinitas, located to the northwest. Some areas have extreme cold weather. Known for pottery, seamanship, delicious food, and rice liquor.
Chiona: (Chee-OH-nuh) One half of the Chisanta. Typically more aggressive and fiercer than their counterparts, the Chiona wear leather and keep their hair shorn. They practice the Tearre, a fight against oneself.
Chiona Isle: The island home of the Chiona, a tropical island south of Chasku and west of Daland.
Chisanta: (Cheh-SAHNT-uh) A group of people with exceptional fighting skills and superhuman abilities. They are marked by a symbol on their necks. The Chisanta are split into two halves, the Chiona and the Cosanta.
Confluence, the: The place where the world of the spirits and the world of the living connect. It takes the form of a tree at the center of the Aeght a Seve. Those who approach it see visitors from the dead; those who touch it receive visions and/or gifts.
Cosanta: (Coh-SAHNT-uh) One half of the Chisanta. Focusing more on fluidity, evasion, and balance, the Cosanta are typically perceived as the calmer half. They wear robes and keep their hair in long braids. The Cosanta are best known for practicing the Ada Chae, a martial art form beautiful enough to look like a dance.
Da Un Marcu: An autumn holiday; at midnight fifty boys and girls across Trinitas are marked as Chisanta.
Daland: The largest of the three nations, a mineral rich continent that spans from a chilly north to a balmy south. Known for its architecture, dance, and agricultural advancements.
Dedrre Alvez: (Dead-RAY Al-VEZ) An Adourran Cosanta who makes use of his gift for understanding mechanics as an inventor. Grandfather to Vendra and mentor to Yarrow.
Deltish: A nearly extinct language spoken by an ethnic minority in Daland.
Divisionary Prophecy: A three-hundred-year-old prophecy, delivered by a Fifth, predicting that the Chisanta will one day go to civil war. Since this prediction, tensions between Chiona and Cosanta have greatly escalated.
Dolla Adder: A Dalish Chiona with an expertise in criminal justice, mentor of Bray Marron.
“Elevated, the”: The name for those youths stolen and raised by Quade Asher. They typically have a greater number of gifts than other Chisanta, and those gifts are more exceptional.
Ellora Asher: Sister of Quade Asher, who along with a husband and son, has carved a secret life for herself as an art teacher on a remote island.
Fernard “Fernie” Thatcher: An Elevated gifted with a perfect memory. Bray and Yarrow snatched him away from Accord for information, and ever since he has been a companion and young friend to Ko-Jin.
Fifth: A Chisanta who has made the fourth sacrifice and obtained the fifth gift—a mad truth-speaker and prophet.
“Five, the”: A group of five exceptional Elevated used by Quade as an elite force. The “five” are: Whythe (who can stop gifts), Elda (who can immobilize people), Wynn (who can amplify other gifts), Hae-Eun (who can connect minds for silent communication), and Andrre (who can locate Chisanta).
Foy Rodgeman: A highwayman and trusted member of the Pauper’s Men. Arlow first encountered him as a boy when he was robbed on the road to the Temple, and later when he joined the criminal group. Foy has long loved Mae.
Gift: A special ability given to a Chisanta, traditionally believed to come from the Spirits. Gifts are determined by the need and desires of the individual. The first gift is received freely, the latter four require sacrifices. (See Sacrifices
of the Chisanta)
Glans Heath: Small town in Daland, childhood home of Yarrow Lamhart.
Jo-Kwan Bellra: Son of the assassinated king and queen, now king of all Trinitas. He is interested in political history and theory, and determined to improve his nation.
King Oren Bellra: The king of Trinitas. The Bellra line has ruled for over two hundred years. He will be followed by his son, Prince Jo-Kwan Bellra.
Ko-Jin, Sung: A Chaskuan Cosanta gifted with exceptional strength and agility to compensate for a former physical handicap. Expert in martial arts and warfare.
Lendra Kerris: The Chiona woman who once administered the “test” on the newly marked.
Linton Bearnall: see Pauper’s King
Mae Bearnall: Sister and trusted right-hand woman to the Pauper’s King.
Mark of the Chisanta: The symbol that appears on the neck of the Chisanta. Five concentric circles halved by a single vertical line. The five circles represent the five gifts a Chisanta may receive, the vertical line stands for the two halves of the Chisanta.
Mearra: Name for the imaginary self a Chiona fights when practicing the Tearre.
Lamentation of the Marked (The Marked Series Book 3) Page 41