by Seth Eden
Unless I had to run an errand for my father, I didn’t deviate from this much.
It was during the evenings that I struggled the most.
Anna was a sweet child who rarely fussed, and that sweet innocent disposition reminded me of her mother. Right after Alana died, I’d stayed out with the baby driving aimlessly till the wee hours of the morning. So tired I’d nearly dozed off at the wheel, I’d crashed at our apartment. I’d fallen into our bed to discover that the sheets and pillows still smelled like Alana.
Which hurt.
Then, her scent gradually faded away. And that hurt worse.
But I couldn’t part with the bed, so I’d moved it with us here to the Varasso family home. Rarely did I sleep in it, though. Well, never. Almost always I’d kip on the sofa in my seating area instead. I’d go to the wine cellar and down as many glasses as it took to get drowsy enough to sleep. Or to at least put myself in a daze.
That’s what I’d been doing when I heard the tough, feisty, take-no-prisoners Molly Greene bawling her eyes out. I’d stopped to listen to her, thinking this must just be a brief moment of weakness, but it hadn’t been. She’d wept audibly for hours.
I hadn’t been able to leave. It was as if she’d held me there through some sort of spell. It’d taken me quite a while to realize that while I’d been torn between grief and numbness for the better part of a year, I now felt more. Molly Green made me feel more. First, desire. And now, compassion.
I’d gone to see her. To make certain what I thought I’d heard was real. And the evidence of it had been written in her puffy, bloodshot eyes. In her reddened nose. It’d been undeniable, yet she denied it anyway. Even when I told her I knew the truth. There was something about that which drew me to her. A courageousness I’d never witnessed in anyone else.
It caused me to come up with a plan. A crazy plan.
I hadn’t expected my father to approve it, but he had. With the understanding that any failures would be on my head. But I didn’t think she would fail. She’d be a success because she was a fighter. And fighters don’t stay down even when they take a punch.
I knew from the history Alessandro had dug up on her that she’d already survived numerous punches.
She’d managed to avoid showing an ounce of outward fear until I’d approached her. Until she’d believed I would… hurt her. And even then, she’d displayed ferocity more than anything else. Such ferocity should be rewarded.
It would be rewarded.
“I would like you to work for us,” I told her, observing her closely. If she refused, she’d have to stay imprisoned here until my father came down to finish what he started. He’d already made his feelings on the matter clear. She’d be given a chance, but only one. If she squandered that chance, then her life would be forfeit.
“Work for you?”
“Yes. I was able to arrange this, but you’ll have to do exactly as you’re told. You’ll live with us here in comfort. You’ll have your every physical and material need taken care of. But if you refuse or if you betray our trust, my father will insist on killing you.” There was no sugarcoating this.
I wondered if she’d simply throw another disparaging remark at me and seal her fate for good. But she didn’t. Instead, she sat on the concrete floor and asked me a question. “Why? Why offer me this?”
I sat beside her but stayed at arm’s length, hoping to remain more nonthreatening. “Because you’re different. I see potential in you. A potential I’d hate to be wasted.” Even sitting this close brought her scent to me, something spicy and delectable, like cinnamon. I felt a current of something pleasant roll through me as I breathed it in, something enticing.
Addicting.
Which was bad. Already I was beginning to feel attached to her, to the outcome of what she decided. And I couldn’t afford that. I couldn’t go through that again. I lowered my voice to a near whisper, letting some of the darkness I’d felt over the past year seep into my voice.
“You’re a gorgeous woman, Molly Greene, and I’d prefer to not bear witness to your blood splattered all over my floor.”
She didn’t so much as flinch. “What would I have to do?”
“We would train you to be in charge of a certain segment of our drug operation. We handle various substances coming from Central and South America, most of it opiates like heroin, morphine and Oxycontin, though we also distribute cocaine, marijuana, and meth.” I waited for her to balk, to act appalled, to say no. But she didn’t, so I went on.
“You would be responsible for coordinating our runners and fulfilling their needs for transportation. You’ll need to be organized and discreet. This job requires diligence and subtlety. Are you up for it?”
“Yes, but with one condition.” I almost chuckled at her audacity. At her sheer cockiness. Even under these circumstances, she strove to control as much as she could.
“That being?”
“I need to contact my sister.”
“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be wise.”
She placed a hand on my arm, and that pleasant current jolted through me even stronger this time. “She’s all I have, Luca. I need to tell her I’m okay and not to worry.”
Inwardly, I sighed. My name on her lips did peculiar things to me. Things I hadn’t felt in a long time. “I’ll try to arrange something.” I went up to the large den on the third floor we used as our main operational headquarters. In it was a suitcase of burner phones meant for a one-time use only. I secured one, hesitating when Gabriel strode in and put a hand on my chest.
“How’s our new guest?”
“She’s under my protection.”
Gabriel’s brows disappeared into his hairline. “Your protection?”
“Yes.”
“That’s new.”
“Your point?” I asked, irritated at his nosiness.
He took me by both shoulders, something I didn’t normally allow, but before I could push him back, he made eye contact. “You’re different. Good different.” I didn’t know what to say to that. “Anyone gives you a hard time over this, I’ll be sure to set them straight.”
This took me totally aback. When I’d first started dating Alana, I’d received nothing but shit from my father and brothers. I’d been told over and over that she was too soft for this business and this family. That she wasn’t prepared. Things had only settled down from my siblings once she’d become pregnant. And then, my father had needled us incessantly about tying the knot.
Something, to my eternal regret, we’d never done.
“Why this sudden show of support?” I asked Gabriel, unable to allay my suspicious nature.
“I haven’t enjoyed watching you sink into the black pit of despair you’ve been in. If this helps you climb out, I’ll be glad. Truly glad.” I could tell he meant it, and despite the harrowing lives we all lived, I felt another positive emotion I hadn’t felt in months.
Gratitude.
Genuinely touched, I made my way back downstairs.
7
Molly
After Luca left, I studied my surroundings, going over every nook and cranny. I knew escape would be difficult if not impossible, and the truth of the matter was that the Varasso family appeared to have a lot of resources. Even if I did somehow manage to find a way out of here, they’d be able to hunt me down anytime they wanted.
They knew where I lived. They knew about my family, about Tara. I couldn’t endanger her like that. I went from scrutinizing my environment to pacing, whipping back and forth in a burst of pent up energy and angst.
As I wore a path into the floor, I considered my newest option. Working for them. It sounded insane. Like going cuckoo insane. But by doing their bidding, I might be able to keep their attention off my sister and on me. I still didn’t know exactly how much time I’d spent in here, but it couldn’t have been more than twenty-four hours.
Even though it felt like a goddamn year.
If I could continue to make deals with them, maybe somehow I cou
ld sneak away at some point in the future. Once their guard was down.
If it ever went down.
I thought of Luca Varasso. He seemed far more complicated than I’d first thought. He’d struck me as this attractive villain to begin with, and he still was, but there was more to him, too. He’d gone out of his way to save me. He could’ve taken whatever he wanted from me, my body and my life, but he hadn’t.
I still didn’t understand his motives. Except for one. For whatever random reason, he seemed to be attracted to me. I’d seen it in those dark eyes of his. Physically, he wanted me. But at least for now, I knew he considered himself above forcing himself on me.
Which was definitely a comfort.
Now if I could turn that into an advantage. Getting a meal and some drinks out of most members of the male species didn’t require much thought. Low cut top plus short-assed skirt equaled a win. Especially when I was willing to take a quick roll with them in the back of their car or in their bed. Easy.
I had the added bonus of him being good looking to the point of absurdity. I lived in a city of a million and a half people. I’d flirted with and dated lots of guys. Lots. But not once had I seen one so jaw-droppingly handsome. And he’d smelled wonderful, too. His aroma had been potent, a fragrance reminiscent of the ocean mixed with something lighter I couldn’t quite name.
Too bad he was evil.
Though if I was being honest with myself, that evil side hooked me in, too. At least a little. I’d always been drawn to the bad boys. The rebel without a cause type. Even the boys in juvie type. There was something so alluring about a guy who’d flip authority the bird, wrap an arm around my shoulders, and kiss the bejesus out of me.
Those bad boys knew a lot more about pleasure than the nice boys did. I knew that from experience. I knew how to grab a guy’s interest and reel him in. I knew what to do to ensure myself a very enjoyable and satisfying night. I didn’t find that part difficult.
The part I did find difficult was keeping them long term. That had always eluded me. It was a skillset I lacked. Which since I needed that skillset now, sucked.
In my mind, I checked off what I knew about Luca that I could work to my benefit:
One, he was attracted to me.
Two, he wanted any sex we might have to be consensual.
Three, he’d been affected by my breakdown.
The dude might be a mobster with a capital M, but he wasn’t heartless. And I could totally use that.
I heard a creak as he opened the door, and I halted in my tracks. I noticed this strange awareness I had of him when we were alone together, like on some subconscious level I knew where he was in respect to me at all times. Which again was downright cuckoo. Being kidnapped and imprisoned must be affecting my mental stability.
Not that I’d felt all that stable to begin with.
Luca held something behind his back. As he approached, his eyes stared holes through me. It was like being scanned by twin laser beams. Except I doubted lasers would give me shivers that raced up and down my spine in a way I never could have anticipated.
“Oh, honey, you’re back from the store. Did you remember to get the tampons and maxi pads?” I quipped, my go-to in any horrendous situation kicking in again. My inappropriate attempts at levity were as instinctual to me as breathing.
He paused on the steps, lifting an eyebrow. “Do you need such things today? If so, I can acquire them for you.”
He was dead serious but not embarrassed or hesitant. Every male peer I knew tended to freak out anytime I mentioned anything feminine hygiene related. So Luca’s maturity came across as refreshing. And unique.
If I had to guess, I’d imagine him to be somewhere near thirty. He might even be in his mid-thirties. Maybe it was his no nonsense attitude, or the nature of his day to day life, but Luca Varasso struck me as much more of a grown man than other guys in my age group. Steady. Calm. Almost frighteningly so. And cold. Verging on icy, even.
“I’m fine for now.”
He nodded at me but didn’t smile. I’d never seen him smile. His father had cackled in an almost disturbing way, and his brother Alessandro had smirked in my presence, but Luca? Not so much as a partial grin. Not that I expected him to be a barrel of laughs or anything. I just wondered why he was so much more melancholy than the rest of his family.
He’d come to within arm’s reach when a question occurred to me.
“Are there other women here? Is that how you’d acquire whatever I need?” Something flashed across Luca’s face. Pain. It’d been so pronounced. I knew little about this man, but the fact that he’d suffered something terrible became immediately clear to me. I couldn’t help but soften my tone. “Luca?”
He turned his back to me, and I heard him cough as if to clear his throat. “We employ a small staff who provide us with whatever supplies we require.” His voice sounded gravelly and raw. I felt this impulse to touch his broad back, to soothe him.
I wasn’t used to watching men have to fight off their emotions like this. Other than Old Man Bertolli, I’d never known a man to have such deep feelings to express in the first place. Yet this man had these feelings. No matter what else he might be or what he may have done, Luca Varasso was full of anguish, and observing that anguish melted something inside of me.
Not that I wanted him to ever know that.
After a long moment, he turned back around to face me, his features back to the shuttered mask he typically wore.
“I brought you something.” He handed me a nondescript cell phone. “It’s only good for one three-minute usage, so measure your conversation carefully. I can’t allow you to tell your sister where you are or what you’re doing. This is an act of faith and trust, Molly Greene. Break that faith or trust and there will be consequences. Exceedingly negative ones. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” I said, my hand shaking as I took the phone. This was the opportunity I’d been waiting for, my only chance to call for help. I dialed Tara’s number. I’d never believed in God or any higher power, really. But right then, I tried my hand at praying. I prayed that she’d pick up. It rang four times, and my stomach sank to my knees. It was going to go to voicemail.
The number would show up as one she didn’t recognize, so it shouldn’t surprise me. Now, I had to decide what to say. Did I just yell out to call the cops? As a teenager, I’d had to shoplift in order to sell stuff to make some money. I’d done it for about six months before I was caught. I’d tried to tell the police that I was homeless and desperate. That I needed help.
But they couldn’t seem to care less.
They kept repeating that I’d broken the law. That I had to pay the price for that. That I was attempting to keep my sister fed didn’t matter. The only thing they’d cared about was their precious laws. It’d been black and white for them. Cut and dried. But life wasn’t any of those things. Life was gray. Messy. Complicated. Difficult.
So I’d picked up trash for free as a part of my community service punishment. It had been that incident that led me to have sex for money. It’d been the worst fifteen minutes of my life. I hadn’t been a virgin, but at that point I’d only ever been with one guy. The experience hadn’t been great, but it hadn’t hurt.
The sex for money had. He hadn’t beaten me, but he’d been rough. Way too rough. He’d left me bleeding with bruises and hickeys all over my body. I hadn’t had sex again for three years after that. I was too scared to.
While I could ask my sister to contact the police, would law enforcement even do anything? Could they? Wouldn’t the Varassos just mow them all down if they tried? I was beginning to doubt that Luca would kill me if I defied him, but I couldn’t say the same about any of his brothers or his father. Angelo had nearly shot me at pointblank range.
Had it not been for Luca intervening, I’d be dead.
It suddenly occurred to me that contacting Tara meant I’d be casting a spotlight on her. The Varassos already knew who she was and probably where she was, and
if I betrayed them, they might not stop at shooting me. They might go after her, too. There’d be nothing I could do to prevent it, either.
“Hey, this is Tara. You know what to do.”
“Tara, it’s me. Can you pick up?” I waited, not knowing what to say. I could almost feel the clock counting down like Dorothy watching the hourglass in the Wizard of Oz. “Please pick up.” Still nothing. Seconds ticked away, disappearing forever. I began to pace again. Luca stood against the wall and though I’d been avoiding looking in his direction, I glanced at him now.
He’d turned his face into that cautious mask again, but his body language didn’t match that stony visage of his. He seemed tense. It was almost as if he felt… nervous.
He wanted me to do as he’d asked. He wanted to trust me. I saw myself reflected in his eyes, and any confusion I may have felt vanished as everything clicked into place.
I made my decision.
8
Luca
I waited, feeling far more anxious than I liked. Her next words would seal her fate, one way or the other. I was playing Russian Roulette with her, and now that the moment of truth had come, I felt like a fool. If she made the wrong choice she’d be killed, and I couldn’t stand the notion of that. I barely knew this woman yet somehow, she’d become important to me.
How had that happened?
How had I let it happen?
I wanted to prove Molly Greene to be savvy and capable. But this felt like playing fast and loose with her life. Being raised a Varasso, I used to excel at hiding how I felt most of the time. Exposing fear or a lack of confidence could get me or my family killed otherwise. Yet keeping up my usual barriers around this woman seemed more challenging than it should be.