by Seth Eden
“You talked about Molly?” Marco said, stepping into the room. “I’m surprised she didn’t kill you.”
“Hey there, brother,” Luca greeted. “Nice do.”
Marco fake puffed it. “Thanks.”
“Where’s Gabe?” I asked.
He nodded back toward the door. “Outside with Ricky and Willow.”
My heart came to a screeching halt. “Willow’s outside?”
Luca stepped to the side. “See for yourself.”
My heart started pounding even faster than it had when I had a gun to the back of my head. I was embarrassed to even face her after what I’d done. I’d put myself in danger, I put my family in danger, and by her being there, I’d put her in danger, too. What did I even have to say to her? Sorry that you overheard that I was going to do this terrible thing, but if it makes you feel any better, I went out and did a doubly terrible thing? I was never going to get to be with Willow again. The sooner I made my peace with that, the sooner I’d be able to move on in a way that wouldn’t leave me storming through the streets of Los Angeles like a one-man army.
I stepped outside the front door, and sure enough, Ricky and Willow were there, talking to Gabriel and Horatio. I let out a sigh of relief that someone found him in the back of that car and let him out. Willow turned and looked at me, and moments later, she was racing toward me at full speed. I stopped and held out my arms, and she leaped into them without a single moment of hesitation. I closed my arms around her, holding as close to me as atoms would allow.
“I thought I was going to lose you.” She pulled away and gave me a kiss on the lips, and I was blown away and confused, but not complaining.
She stepped a few feet back, cocked her fist, and punched me square across the jaw, and it hurt, like getting smacked with a baseball bat. To say she was sending mixed signals would be an understatement. “Ow! Why?”
“For fucking hitting your brother.” She pulled her fist back again, and that time gave me a low jab to the gut. “For damn near killing Gabe.” She grabbed my shoulders and kneed up into my abs, and I let out a gag, nearly falling to my feet. “For making Marco come out of hiding to save your dumbass!”
“God, I forgot how much I missed Willow. Hi, Willow!” Marco said.
Despite my dying in front of her, Willow waved back with a bright smile. “Hey, Marco! I dig the blond hair!”
Ricky tapped me on my back. “Shake it off, man.”
I held a hand up. “I’ll be okay,” I strained out.
“Do you have any idea how scared I was?” Willow asked. “I thought I was going to show up and see your dead body. Didn’t I tell you not to end up in a situation like either of our dads? What were you thinking?”
“I guess I don’t handle heartbreak well,” I huffed back. “Willow, I need to say that I—”
“Get down!” We all looked over, and Gabriel had pulled his gun out and had it smashed against Horatio’s head. “Down!”
I rushed over with Luca and Marco right behind me. I grabbed his arm and pulled it away. “Whoa! What are you doing?”
“This guy still narced on Marco,” Gabriel barked, and none of us knew where his sudden aggressiveness was coming from. Maybe he’d taken the same airborne drug I had.
“Yeah, but trust me when I say he’s learned that lesson, right?” I looked at him, and his head started bobbing up and down so quickly it nearly looked like it wasn’t moving at all. “Horatio knows that we know where he lives and where his wife lives, and if we have any more problems with him,” I tapped Gabe’s back, “we’re sending in the crazy one.”
Everyone snickered behind me, but I was trying to help Gabriel establish a little dominance. Luca walked over and put a hand on my head. “We’ve got guys on the way. We’ll get this all cleaned up.”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll stay. I’m gonna turn myself in.”
“What?” Luca waved his hand through the air. “No, we’re not doing that. This isn’t that bad. They’ll get it cleaned up. It’s fine.”
“I did horrible shit that I have to be held accountable for.” I looked at Willow. “I don’t want to be that guy.”
Willow shook her head. “It’s okay. Be that guy.”
“What? No. I promised you. I won’t take all the charges. It’ll be a long time, but I’ll be okay.”
“No,” Willow said. “You can’t go to prison.”
“I deserve it,” I retorted.
“No, you can’t go,” Willow squeaked. “You can’t go to prison because you have to be here with me.”
“I don’t deserve you, either,” I said. “I put you in all this danger and—”
“I’m pregnant.”
Only the wind made a sound for about five solid minutes. Finally, I broke the silence. “You’re… really?”
She nodded. “I took a test last night.” I stepped in to hug her, but she took a step back. “I’m not raising a baby in this world, Sandro. It’s either us or—”
“You.” I didn’t even let her finish. “It’s you. I mean,” I looked over at Luca. “We’ll have to figure out how it’ll work, but…”
“You think I’d let you stay working for my organization after this fuck up? Uh, no. You’re fired,” Luca said.
“W-what?” I asked.
Luca walked up to me and held out a hand. “You wanted out.”
I took his hand in my own. “You’re sure?”
Luca nodded. “At this point, Gabe is clearly more stable than you are, anyway. Go, raise your family.”
I pulled Luca into a hug. “Thank you.”
I looked over a Willow and grabbed her hand. “Will you forgive me?”
Willow shrugged. “I’ll think about it.” She smiled at me.
“Then,” I got down on one knee, “will you marry me?”
Epilogue
Willow
I stood, looking myself over in the tall, ceiling to floor mirror against the wall. The top of my white dress was strapless and grabbed my torso in a way that was flattering and not too sexy, capping it with a sweetheart neckline. Carefully laid lacework spiraled along the bodice, leading down to my waist and disappearing behind my navy blue belt. After the belt, chiffon layers flared out and waterfalled toward the floor, covering even my feet, which were equally decked out in white pumps with straps around the ankles. I fluffed my hair, despite that after she finished curling it, Sasha told me if I touched it, she would murder me. Around my neck hung the beautiful engagement gift Ricky had gotten me, a diamond enclosed in a web of silver, interwoven hoops. He gave it to me with the promise that, no matter what happened, he would always be there for me. I didn’t need a necklace to know that, but it was times like this, as I was standing alone, a regular ball of nerves, that it was nice to have a reminder.
There was a small knock at the door behind me, and I turned around. “Come in.”
The door opened, and in walked my dad. He’d been granted a furlough from prison to attend my wedding because in the twelve years he’d spent there, he hadn’t made a single, solitary wave. I was smart enough to know that it was probably Varasso protection keeping him safe, even on the inside, but whatever the reason was, I was glad he was there.
“Daddy,” I said with a smile.
It had been that entire twelve years since I had seen him last. After everything finally settled down, I came to regret never going to see my dad. I finally understood that the decisions he made as a young father, he’d made because he thought it was what was best for Ricky and me. All that time, I’d believed that he chose the Varassos over us. Actually, he was sacrificing himself to make sure that my mom, Ricky, and I were well taken care of, without even a second thought. He knew the Varassos would make good on their promises to make sure we were covered, and he was prepared to rot in prison to see it through. My mom, my dad, and Alessandro, they’d all taught me an important lesson about thinking in black and white—I’d miss the color. The beautiful things that are hidden just behind what appears to be trag
edy and misfortune. I understood it much better now.
“Baby, you look…” He was getting choked up already. “Like your mother.”
I smiled. It was as nice a compliment as any. “Thanks, Daddy.”
He stepped forward, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “Wow. You’d think prison would change a man.”
I chuckled. “I’m glad it didn’t.”
I welcomed his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me, and it felt good to be hugging him again. I hadn’t had him there for my birthdays, my prom, or my graduation; that he could be there for my wedding day meant the world to me.
“Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck, not that you need it.” He stroked my cheek. “That Alessandro better act like he knows how lucky he is.”
I thought about Alessandro going berserk the day he moved to California. He saw my cobbled together apartment of cheap furniture, found mostly from flea markets or garage sales, and dropped to his knees in dramatic, movie star fashion, saying I deserved the best and that the apartment was getting a complete overhaul. I was still committed to not accepting any lavish gifts paid for with the Varassos’ blood money, but Alessandro assured me all the money he brought with him was what was earned at some of their above the board businesses, like a restaurant Marco had purchased and a casino Luca had invested in. It wasn’t that fashion buying didn’t pay well, especially for the kind of clients I worked with, but I wasn’t a picky kind of person. I supposed maybe it was me trying to reject my mother’s obsession with money by doing the exact opposite of what she did. Regardless, Alessandro spent the next few weeks buying me everything I so much as breathed in the direction of. I eventually had to start punishing him when he didn’t clear money with me first.
“He does,” I responded.
“Well, I’m gonna go take my seat,” he said. “I’ll see you out there, probably bawling like a baby.”
“Okay, Dad. I love you.” I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek.
“I love you, too.” He walked out of the room but left the door open with a wink as he stepped through.
My dad was at my wedding, for which I was grateful, but he wasn’t walking me down the aisle. He understood entirely when I told him that I was granting that honor to someone else. In fact, he’d told me he wouldn’t have it any other way. I stepped across the doorframe, and leaning against the wall outside was Ricky. He was the one I’d be arm in arm with. The man who’d taken the best care of me ever since the day we were born.
He grabbed his chest like the wind had been knocked out of him. “Wow.”
I did a little twirl. “Right?” I had, of course, purchased my own wedding dress using my connections and fashion expertise. I knew I looked good in it. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that.
He stood upright and made a loop with his arm, and I linked mine into it. He kissed my cheek, and then we started off down the hallway. We’d gotten even closer since he came to live in California with Alessandro and me. I wanted to believe that it was because he couldn’t see living without me, but in truth, I thought his number one motivation was the way he hit it off with Sasha. When I was staying in Philly for those couple of weeks after my grandpa’s funeral, I’d heard him turn page after page of stories about the scores of women he’d been out with. Ricky was a guy, and guys were guys, but deep inside of him, he was a romantic. He’d seen Luca with Molly, Marco with Kelly, and Alessandro with me, and really wanted the same for himself. He had some idiosyncrasies, but nothing I thought was impossible to love. Apparently, Sasha shared the sentiment.
They started dating not long after Ricky and Alessandro moved in. We were so busy getting ready for the baby, and Ricky was behaving much like a child who was reluctantly becoming an older sibling. He kept trying to distract Alessandro while we were working on the baby’s room or begging me to go do things with him even when I didn’t feel up to it. It was all the experience Sandro and I needed to know that we would probably stop after one kid. I complained to Sasha, and she started to come over to help distract Ricky. The distraction took the form of many dates until soon, my own best friend was coming over to see my brother instead of me. Then, I was the one acting like the baby.
Still, as their relationship grew, Alessandro and I started to enjoy having them around as a couple. We could do couple things, and Alessandro was a fanatic for anything overly domestic in nature, a carryover from thinking he’d never have that kind of life. We appreciated the way it brought us together, that was until we overheard them having sex in a room not far away. Alessandro and I could both, miraculously, sleep through Ricky’s horrid snoring, but the raucous love-making was a bird of a different color.
“Yeah, we’re going to need to get a house,” Alessandro said instantly, and I couldn’t have agreed more.
It was over a year later, and Ricky and Sasha were still together. He was killing it as a defense attorney in L.A., and the media loved seeing him on Sasha’s arm during red carpet events and on social media.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Ricky asked.
“Nothing. Everything,” I replied.
We made our way to the top of the Varraso estate’s marvelous, curved staircases and looked down. People were sitting on either side of the foyer, in all manner of formal dress, looking up at us. We’d gone atypical, lining the foyer with chairs and placing our wedding arch right in front of the front yard fountain. The back fountain was prettier, but to be avoided due to bad memories. A quiet chorus of strings filled the air, and everyone stood up from their seats. Ricky led me carefully down the stairs, something we’d practiced about twelve dozen times to ensure that I wouldn’t fall. There were sniffles coming up from random spots across the crowd, and it took everything in me not to ruin my own makeup with emotions as well.
We walked between the two groups of people, not divided in any particular way, just interspersed with our family and friends. Toward the back of the seating were a majority of the Varasso’s lower men, and most of them had tears in their eyes. We continued on into closer family and friends. I spied my cousin Hannah and her husband sitting among the fray. We crossed through the door frame and down the front steps, where I could finally see Alessandro standing, waiting for me in front of the white-rose-covered arch. Gabriel stood behind him as his best man, followed by Luca and Marco. To the right, Sasha and Bella were already standing, in rose-colored dresses, smiling at me as I walked.
I grinned at the rest of our family. My parents and grandmother, all drenched in tears. Molly and Kelly, each with their children next to them. In Molly’s lap, waving at me with Molly’s aid, swiping her tiny hand up and down, was my baby girl, Alexis. We’d stuck with the theme of A-names in the family; Anna, Antonio, Amanda, and now Alexis. She had her dad’s curly brown hair all over her head, and our pristine blue eyes, with my freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. She squealed when she saw me, and I stopped briefly to walk over and give her a kiss on the forehead.
A second later, Alessandro was next to me, with his hand on my back, waving at Alexis. We started to walk away to continue with the ceremony, but the second we moved away, she started to scream. Everyone laughed as Molly tried to calm her, but she was reaching out for us and filling the entire, massive yard with her bellowing.
“Okay.” Alessandro stepped up and lifted her out of Molly’s hands. “I guess we’re getting married with a baby now.”
It seemed only fitting. Nothing with the Varassos was normal.
There was a time when that thought was daunting to me. I thought life was supposed to be normal, that the more par for the course things were, the greater chance life had of being easy. I wanted a life with Alessandro that didn’t have pressure. I guess I was afraid too much pressure would break us, as it had done so many times before. I’d seen the Varassos crack under pressure, all of them, Alessandro included. I’d seen the effect the life had on them, which was why I was so desperate to keep Alessandro out of it. He had responsibilities now, our little girl, and our ne
w lives. I demanded he take it seriously, and he did.
He enrolled in school not long after arriving in California. He’d always been a whiz with computers and techy stuff. It was something he found very interesting. Even though we did eventually move away from the apartment that sat next to the tech farm I’d told him about, it wasn’t long before he went over to inquire about a job. The people there were shocked to see him, never having had a guy of his stature walk in looking to work on computers before. They let him take up a low-level position while he worked on his degree, and once he graduated, he’d move up the ranks, probably at an alarming rate from how much they adored him.
Alessandro balanced Alexis in one arm, took my hand with the other, and walked us both to the arch. I giggled the entire time, as all throughout the priest’s speech and even through our vows, Alexis pulled at Alessandro’s hair and smacked at his face.
It was so unorthodox, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“Do you, Alessandro Vara—”
“I do,” Alessandro barely let the priest get the words out.
“Okay,” the priest said, turning toward me. He opened his mouth, but I held up my hand to stop him.
“I do.”
“Then, by the powers vested in me by the state of Philadelphia, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He smiled at Alessandro. “You may kiss—”
Alessandro’s lips were on mine before he was even done with the order. When Alessandro pulled away, he grinned, swiping his thumb along my cheek. “Can’t really avoid the Varassos now. you are one.”
I smiled back at him. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.”
Alessandro Varasso was probably the only man I would have let convince me to be with him three different times, and now that I was his wife, I was going to have to get used to the craziness that came with that. My daughter would not be involved in the life, of that I was certain, but I had to accept what Alessandro had tried to convince me of all along. Family was more important than anything else, and as a Varasso, the mob was in your blood. We were looking at freedom for now, but it didn’t stop me from having a tiny bundle of nerves sparking at the back of my brain.