Hands suddenly touched her, stoked her face. The hands were large and male. She knew them. She knew his scent. She struggled harder to free herself.
"Trista, please,” he whispered urgently. “You need to be still. Do not damage yourself further. Please, love."
"Q'winn,” she whimpered.
"I am here."
She'd never thought to hear that voice again. Never believed she would feel his touch again. She tried to say his name, to have him speak again so she could be certain. She felt the pinprick of a needle. She struggled against the drug in her system. It was going to knock her out again. She had to be sure he was here.
"Q'winn.” His name was barely a whisper. It was all she could manage. The blackness was winning, creeping into her again.
"I am here, love. I am here."
* * * *
Trista slowly became aware of the touch of hands on her body. There was the sensation of being touched by a cold hand then suddenly the spot would turn very warm. She struggled against that touch when it pressed painfully on her abdomen.
"It's all right, love.” Q'winn's voice was so very soft, and near her ear. “Let him help you. I'm right here."
"Q'winn.” She tried to speak but the words wouldn't come. She tried to look around at where she was but the room was darkened. The one lamp that was lit appeared in her vision as a blurry fireball.
A lamp? Was she in the Believer's Chapel?
"Shh. Be still.” His hand found hers.
"I'm dreaming again,” she said in a ragged whisper.
"Yes, love. Close your eyes. Sleep some more. You'll feel better when you wake. I'll be here and I'll fix you some ... tea."
"Q'winn? Where am I?"
"On the Anakin.” He stroked her face. “You need to be quiet. If Vanteen hears you talking I'll be in trouble because I didn't call for her immediately."
Trista almost laughed but it hurt too badly to draw that deep a breath. Lips brushed her temple. The unknown hands kept up their work. The pain lessened, but she ached dully.
"What's he doing to me?"
"Healing you. Now be still, love,” he urged her again.
"I said hurtful things to you..."
"Shh. It doesn't matter."
The man who'd been touching her spoke. “I've done all I can for now. She needs to rest, as do I. I'll begin again in a few hours.” The voice was deep and weary and Trista strained to see its owner, but could not. Blankets settled over her.
She was immediately drowsy with the extra warmth. Hands stroked her forehead, her eyes. Q'winn's hands. He was using the trick on her that one used on small babies to get them to sleep. She tried to smile, she thought maybe she had, then she let sleep take her.
She woke again with no sense of ever being asleep. The room was still dark, but now she could focus on the lamp. Shock jolted through her. It looked like the lamp Q'winn had broken before leaving Damali. She suddenly realized she was in Q'winn's room on the ship.
She gingerly moved her legs, then her arms. There were no sharp pains, only the sensation of weakness, or maybe just tiredness. She tried to lever herself up onto her elbow but a gentle hand stopped her.
"Stupid girl be still,” came a soft voice from the dark.
"Vanteen!"
"Be quiet. Q'winn sleep. Not sleep good long time. Worry over stupid girl hurt self.” Vanteen dropped into the chair beside Trista's couch with a sigh. “You got pain?"
"I'm glad to see you, too. I missed you, too,” Trista said, trying to glare at the other woman.
Vanteen snorted. “Vanteen miss Trista. Sat-iss-fiid?"
"Yes. Where are we? Who was that man that was in here?"
"You remember healer?” Vanteen asked, surprised. “We at star Berrel. Six world from sun. People here have gift heal. Q'winn break more rule bring stupid girl here."
Trista felt buoyed by Vanteen's words. She wouldn't be calling her stupid if she were dying. And being Vanteen, it wasn't an insult, not really. It was Vanteen hiding her feelings.
"Is he in trouble? Vanteen so smart she come be in trouble, too. Where's W'eylin?"
"Maybe not trouble. All know Q'winn follow heart. W'eylin work duty. Is kaden now. Make Vanteen proud. You thurss-tee?"
"Yes. Help me up."
"Not do!” Vanteen told her firmly planted her hand on Trista's shoulder.
"Yes, do. Help me sit up,” Trista said just as firmly. The quick tap of boot heels made her freeze. Q'winn.
She reached for him as he sat on the edge of the couch. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carefully gathered her into his arms. He was real.
They held each other for long moments. Trista struggled to keep from crying. He was here. He was alive. He'd found her. She had so many questions for him and only one really mattered.
Did he love her still?
She'd lost him, lost all the hope and the promise of him, and suddenly, without warning, he was here. She wanted to tell him she still loved him, that she wanted a life with him, but she couldn't form the words. She couldn't let go of him, wouldn't let go, just to talk.
To say what words cannot. His words came back to her in a whisper of memory. She eased her grip on his neck and pulled back to look at him.
He had changed. He looked older and thinner. The lines at his eyes were deeper. His hair was shorter, the unruly locks gone, and there was a hint of grey at his temples.
But his eyes—his eyes were unchanged. They were alive with feeling, drinking in her presence. She let herself go into their depths. She could look straight to his soul. Her own eyes overflowed and his suddenly flooded.
He smiled and her world exploded in sunlight. Her lips parted as he leaned toward her and ever so gently kissed her.
"I won't break,” she said as he drew the barest inch back from her.
"Will you not?” His voice was steady and strong.
"Not completely,” she said as she drew his lips back to hers.
She felt his concern for her, tasted his overwhelming relief at being able to hold her. His kiss was that, and more.
"I thought you were dead,” she said, choking on the last word.
"No. We tried to get a message off before the worst of the malfunctions. We thought we had. Obviously, it didn't get through.” He stroked her hair, her face. “It took us two years to get back to our timeline, and another year to get the ship home."
"Oh, God, Q'winn,” she almost sobbed. He held her and she steadied herself. “What did you do?"
"The only thing we could, love. We just kept making little jumps in the right direction. We did accomplish one of our mission objectives, though."
"Don't sit there and talk to me about mission objectives!” she said to him, not knowing if she should laugh or cry that he would sit there and talk about a mission objective that everyone thought had killed him.
"All right. When you are ready to hear, say so and I will tell you.” He smiled at her again. “Just imagine the faces of my brothers and father when they saw me. My father was so pleased to see me alive and whole he forgave everything."
Trista did laugh then. She laughed and cried and held him tightly. He held her and rocked her as if she were a child and whispered words to her that she didn't hear.
"It's all right, love. Let it go, let it out."
She wept until she could weep no more. Four years of grief and loneliness, sadness and heartache poured out of her leaving her exhausted and shaking but washed clean and alive.
Reborn and so very alive.
"What happens now?” she asked.
"Whatever you wish. What do you remember about what happened?"
"I think someone hit my car. I'm not sure.” She buried her face in his neck. “How did you find me just then, when you did?"
He took a deep breath. “When we got the Elsu back to Dannar, and I went home to Mahdis, you were gone. I understand why you couldn't stay. Please don't think you need to explain any of that to me."
"You're not angry that I didn't stay?"
"No. I had hoped, of course. But the longer it took us, the more I knew it was unlikely you'd be there. By the time we got on the proper timeline, the equipment was damaged to where we didn't dare try to shift back two years for the trip home. Our communications were out. There was nothing to do but set the course home and hit our best speed."
"But someone had to have located you. Didn't they?” she asked.
"Of course. And I learned you were gone. I couldn't abandon the Elsu and the crew. I stayed with them even though I knew how long it would take to get home. I'm sorry, love. I couldn't leave them."
"I understand. I really do.” And she did. Despite those years of loneliness, she understood. He was a kaden and the Elsu had been his ship and its crew his responsibility.
"Q'winn. The Raku. What's happened?"
He looked at her intently. “This can wait, love. You need to rest."
"I need to know.” It was true. She'd spent the last four years wondering what was happening out in the stars above her world.
"We have had some successes, some losses. We have lost five ships, but no Raku have escaped to tell the tale. We have observed a general shift in their movements away from this side of space."
"Away from Terra? Away from Dannar?"
"Yes. And Okar. We now debate if we should contact other worlds around the Raku's perimeter. We debate how far our responsibility extends.” He sighed. “It will not be settled anytime soon."
"So while there is debate, what do you do?"
"We watch and do what becomes necessary. And we live, Trista. Our people live free."
She could see it had cost him to speak of it, but she had one more question she had to ask.
"Have you seen any of the Raku?” She couldn't bring herself to ask outright if he'd been forced to kill.
He looked away and drew a breath. She saw the relief in his eyes when they rose to hers once again. “No. I have been spared that."
"Kiss me again, please, Q'winn."
He quickly obliged. The kiss left her dizzy, or so she thought. Maybe she was just dizzy.
"I think I'd better lie down,” she told him and watched the worry darken his gaze. Q'winn eased her back onto the pillows and tucked the blankets around her. He sat on the chair beside the couch. She felt bereft of his embrace.
"The healer will be back shortly. He says he needs some more time with you. Do you remember any more?"
"It's very odd. Bits and pieces. I was at the emergency room. There was a nurse.” She paused and looked at him. “Did I die?” she whispered.
"No, love. Very nearly, but you did not."
"How did you find me, Q'winn? Tell me everything."
"You had been through the beam twice. We had your pattern, your signature, if you will. We set the equipment to sweep the planet and locate you. We started at the point where you were retrieved and returned, and worked outward.” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a wry smile.
"It would have been easier had you stayed near there,” he said.
"Sue me. I never lived near the ocean. I told you that."
"You were five hundred aveni away!"
"Is that far?” she quipped and bit her lips to keep from laughing as his chin dropped to his chest and he rubbed his face in exasperation. He looked up at her.
"No. Not far. Only a weeks worth of sleepless nights worrying that now that I was here I'd find you with someone else."
"And then you found me and brought me up to the Anakin. If I were in a hospital, people will be looking for me. They'll call my family."
"It could be so. There are prohibitions regarding retrieving a person from an area where it will be readily discovered."
"So you're in trouble? My family. I need to let them know."
"That may be unwise."
"Q'winn. I'm not ever going home to stay again. I need to tell them goodbye.” She bit her lip. “I have to know if someone found my cat."
"Cat?"
"A small pet. I have to know if ... if he's all right."
"Very well. I will try to arrange something, although...” Q'winn licked his lips and looked at her.
"Just tell me what you did, Q'winn. Don't even think to gloss it over."
"You're tired. We can finish this later."
"Coward,” she challenged him.
He sighed in defeat and continued talking.
"We ... hopped ... if you want to call it that. A mere blink. Back to the moment of the accident. I'm sorry, Trista. We missed where we wanted to go by just a few minutes. Had we come in on target, we would have spared you the injuries."
"What do you mean? You would have just plucked me from a moving car? That would have endangered others!"
"No. We would have waited until you were stopped, or even before you'd gotten in your transportation. We would not have done anything to risk others or risk detection."
"But, if you picked me out of the wreck, the authorities will wonder where I am!"
"In all probability,” he said calmly. “You are tired. No more of this right now. The healer will be here in a few minutes. Do you remember any of that?"
"I remember someone touching me all over. Vanteen told me we were at a planet where the people can heal. She said you broke the rules to bring me here."
"Vanteen talks too much."
"So what rules did you break?"
"Let's see. The one about using a ship for personal reasons. The one about retrieving a person a second time without it being pre-arranged. The one about shifting between the timelines to a precise moment to change an event. The one about contacting the people on this planet without their government's permission. There's probably a few more the Kaden-ati will remind me of later."
"So why did you break the rules?"
"So why did I...?” he echoed in disbelief. “I love you!"
The universe righted itself around her.
"I love you, too, Q'winn."
She smiled as Q'winn lifted her hand to his lips, then held it over his heart.
* * * *
Trista suffered the healer's last visit without comment. He was an older man, strange in his stick-like appearance, but kind in his manner and witty in his speech.
Despite his gentleness, everywhere he touched her she flared painfully hot. The sensation faded quickly, but after enduring it for an hour, she started asking him to stop.
He told her he liked to see his patients growing annoyed and irritable with him. It meant they were feeling better. He returned to the places that had burned the worst, then told her he was finished.
She was feeling better. She bit back the questions about how this strange healing worked. Vanteen had told her it would be rude beyond forgiveness to ask. Trista agreed one should not be rude to someone who'd saved your life.
She lay quietly while Q'winn thanked the man, offering him a gift from Mahdis. The man accepted the small carved stone dorri with a smile. He bowed to Q'winn, and to Trista, and left in a graceful fluttering of his dark blue robes.
"Vanteen is bringing you a meal,” Q'winn told her as he settled on the couch beside her. “It will not be to your liking,” he warned her, “but you must wait a few days for meat."
"Can I take a bath before the food gets here?"
He hesitated. “You should not be left alone just yet."
"You can help me,” she said, wondering at the odd look on his face.
"It's been a long time since we ... since we were together."
She was disconcerted by his manner. “Nothing has changed for me,” she said, meeting his gaze.
He looked relieved. “Nor for me, love.” He helped her sit up and slipped her night robe over her head, then gently kissed her. She clung to him, not wanting to let him go.
The years apart faded away. It was as if she'd just held him yesterday. She blinked the tears away.
"You are beautiful, Trista,” he whispered as he held her tighter.
She was relieved. His restraint was simply fear of hurting her, not lack wan
ting her.
"You are visually impaired, Q'winn."
He snorted at her, then lifted her into his arms and carried her to the tub. He eased her onto her feet and the tub began to fill. She ordered a cup of tea while she was soaking and he brought it without comment.
Her soup arrived and he got her dried off, into a fresh night robe, and settled back on the couch. She protested about the thin broth, but drank every drop. Her eyes started to droop. She reached for Q'winn's hand.
"Will you stay here with me? Will you sleep with me?” she asked drowsily.
"Do you wish it?"
"Yes. Mekka, please, Q'winn."
He stood and undressed as she watched. He was still lean and muscular. Time had not changed that. She hid a smile as he dropped his pants to floor and quickly pulled on a pair of raggedy shorts. He was not fully aroused, but obviously the thought of being under the blankets with her had affected him.
She'd not thought about him being jayalor in all the time they'd been apart. She'd never thought of him as different. That he still held his rank and his position likely meant it was still their secret to keep. But she would not ask about it this night.
She rolled into his embrace as he slid under the blankets. He kissed her warmly, tenderly, passionately, for several minutes. His arms cradled her. She sighed in contentment. She wished she felt strong enough to able to make love with him. It had been a lifetime since they'd loved.
But she was tired with a lethargy left from the healer. As much as she wanted to hold Q'winn, she needed sleep more. He seemed to know her thoughts.
"Sleep, Trista. In a few days, you will be fully recovered and rested. There is time."
"I know. Stay with me. Hold me."
"I will. I am here. I will always be with you,” he said to her. “I would like us to partner."
"I'd like that, Q'winn. Very much,” she said, raising her lips to his. She'd ask him to say the vows of her world, too.
Trista closed her eyes. In a few days, he'd said. She smiled as she drifted into sleep, safe in his arms.
If she had her way, and she would, it would only be in a few hours.
Epilogue
Trista stood looking out the view port, an unhappy, but curious, Tux draped over her shoulder. Earth was a blue speck in the distance, growing smaller by the moment. It was strange to see it this way and know it was the last time she'd ever see it. Soft lips touched her neck. She leaned back against Q'winn. Tux clawed his way up her shoulder to get to Q'winn.
The Skies of Mahdis Page 21