by Joyia Marie
“It wasn’t a question of hiding anything Harold never asked, was never interested, so I felt no need to tell him. The LV thing was late in our marriage when we didn’t even discuss my writing anymore.”
Again, I felt a frisson of hurt about this. I could describe the paper making process from tree to desk and he couldn’t even be bothered to ask how my work was going? Just because I wasn’t willing to totally desert my former self and ‘cleave only to him’?
“It’s his loss and don’t worry, I wouldn’t be as good as I am if I couldn’t keep a secret. I’ll frame you not demanding spousal support for him in exchange for him not demanding child support from you so the finances should stay out of it. If he does decide to push, then he’s leaving himself open to supporting you. If the fiancés come out, your LV money can be shown as proceeds of your writing without disclosing your pen name,” she said crisply, her cheeks slightly flushed.
I think she as a little embarrassed for acting like a fan there for a second. She needn’t have been, it was nice. I enjoyed interacting with my fans and I love to go on a book tour. When the kids were older, I would if the fan base was still there. Writing is such a solitary career that getting feedback was fun.
“Okay, I think we’ve covered everything,” she said looking over her notes. “I can draw up the papers and get them filed by close of business today. Baring any obstacles you could be divorced in as little as three months. I’m going to fast-track this as much as possible to avoid anyone getting curious about anything.”
I nodded and felt my eyes well up. I wanted this over with but it was still a bit of a blow to realize that 14 years of my life could be dismissed in as little as three months. I blinked back my tears and got out my checkbook to write a check for the retainer.
Ms. Smithfield called in her assistant to take the check for verification. We covered a few more points and our meeting was over. She set another meeting for the following Friday that should be long enough for Harold’s lawyer to respond to the divorce filing. She ignored my brimming eyes until I got them under control, which I appreciated.
“ Mrs. Dudley, I appreciate the business and I hope to make this as painless as possible for you,” Ms. Smithfield said holding my hand between her two tiny ones. I nodded and left before I lost it.
I made it down to my car before I broke. I dug through my purse, found a package of tissues, and put them to good use. What was wrong with me, I wondered, as I sobbed. This was a good thing.
If Harold and I weren’t working then it was time to cut ties. The security guard looked at me with distant concern but didn’t approach my car. I guess weeping women weren’t that rare a sight coming out of this building.
Okay, I told myself when I finally finished crying. I wiped my face, put on my sunglasses and pulled out of the parking garage. I gave the security guard a wave to show I was okay as I pulled into downtown traffic.
I forced my mind to be blank as I drove to the storage facility. I went to my unit and added ‘Days/Nights’ to the other canvases there. I had told Harold about my legacy but he hadn’t acted all that interested other than to say one of my grandmother’s paintings in the house was more than enough.
I had picked Days/Nights because it was her biggest canvas and the one she was the most famous for. Every time I looked at it, it was like looking into my grandmother’s kind eyes. I looked at it now before I crated it and I swear I could feel her compassion. She might not understand why Harold was still walking around without a cap in his ass but she still had my back.
After the storage facility, I drove by a place to pick up an early lunch to take back to the loft. I was scheduled to meet my friend a little after noon for him to pick up my stuff for my other storage unit. 50 bucks will buy a lot among the starving artist crowd.
I got back to the loft and made my usual lunchtime phone call for the kids. I was pleasantly surprised when Tonya told me that Harold had finally talked to them. I was less pleasantly surprised when she told me that they were going to dinner that night with Jillian.
I will say this, Harold had balls of absolute steel to try this, but I wished him luck. Oh, my goodness, was he going to need it. Tonya asked me what she should do, but I refused to engage in that. I’m sure whatever Tonya came up with would be much worse than anything I could dream of so why mess with a master?
I picked at my lunch after I got off the phone, my appetite gone. When my friend showed up with his truck and his friend, I watched them load up my furniture and we headed off to the storage space. By the time I got back, my lunch was cold, so I tossed it and grabbed the rest of my belongings.
It was a tight fit but I managed to get everything into my car. I did a final walk through and then closed the loft. It felt weird standing there with my packed car. I felt homeless for the first time in my life.
I shook off the melodramatic thoughts. I wasn’t homeless, I actually had two homes right now if you counted the loft and the motel I was going to. Three if you counted Casa Asshole, I was fine, I told myself.
Checking into the motel was quick and unloaded the car didn’t take long. The suite was a three bedroom, which was expensive and somewhat silly for as little as the other two bedrooms would be used. I could have gotten away with a two bedroom, the twins wouldn’t mind sharing, but this felt right.
The bedrooms were off a living room, dining room, kitchen combination. The kitchen was small but adequate for my needs. I didn’t see me doing a lot of cooking if the kids weren’t there. For the thousandth time since I started all this, I wondered if I was making the right decision.
Should I have stayed and let Harold take off? Was I really doing this for the kids or just to mess with Harold and Jillian? Would the kids be better off with a father who resented them, which Harold was sure to do at least in the beginning? Was I doing the right thing?
I flopped on the bed and grabbed a pillow. I put the pillow over my face and screamed my heart out. Why is it you can only know the right thing in retrospect?
I tucked the pillow under my head and made myself remember the rationale I had come to after many restless nights. I had to give this a shot. I had to give Harold the opportunity to rise to the occasion. If I did end up having to rescue my babies, I had to know I had given Harold every chance in the world to be a decent father.
I left the bedroom and went back into the living room. I grabbed my bag and all the proposals. I might not be sure of Harold but this I could decide. I needed to make sure the twins had a soft place to land if rescue became necessary.
I set the proposals out side by side and considered them. Duncan was out from the beginning not because his bid was too high but too low. I had a general idea of what something like my loft redo should run and Duncan wasn’t even close.
This meant either he was underbidding just to get the contract and planned on ‘adjusting’ it as the remodel went along. Or even creepier, he was planning on taking it out in trade. I shuddered and used his bid to start a reject pile.
A couple others were added to Duncan’s because they were too pricey or they couldn’t begin for at least a month. It was down to Aiden and Collins construction. The bids were fairly matched and they could both begin almost immediately.
I held the two bids in my hands and tried to look at them impersonally but that was impossible. Just looking at Aiden’s bid invoked his handsome face and beautiful smile. I was tempted to go with Collins just for that reason.
I didn’t need the heartache of being around a man I couldn’t have but the deciding point was the way he looked at my grandmother’s picture. The pure unadulterated adulation is a sight I will remember to my dying day.
I added Collins to the reject pile and picked up the phone to call Aiden. His assistant picked up and told me Aiden was out of the office. I told her why I was calling and she said she was told to expect the call. I told her I wanted to go with Smyth, and asked what did I need to do next. She invited me in to sign a contract, drop off a check and the keys to m
y loft. That would be it for a while.
I made an appointment for an hour from then and then tidied up the coffee table. I called all the rejects to give them the news and Craig Duncan was not pleased. He kept me on the phone the longest trying to suss out who the winner was. I finally managed to get him off the phone without telling him as it was none of his business but it took a minute. Once I was done with that, I put all the rejects into a folder to shred later. I dropped it on the desk tucked into the corner where my laptop was currently resting. I grabbed my purse and left.
I got a cashier’s check at the bank then ran over to the Smyth office. Aiden’s assistant Cali was efficient and friendly, but I must admit to a frisson of disappointment for missing Aiden. I shook it off as silliness. The less Aiden and I saw each other until I was a single woman the better.
The contract was signed, the check and keys handed over, and I was done. Cali gave me a promise that a crew would begin no later than Monday morning. I stepped outside and realized I didn’t know what to do next. I was done.
I had moved, seen my lawyer, and hired a contractor. My book beckoned, but not that hard. I was free until the next morning for the twins’ soccer game. I looked around, noticed I wasn’t far from Raphael’s salon, and then an idea appeared.
I got into my car and called Sonya. “Hey, chica,” I said when she answered. “Feel like shaking your groove thing tonight?”
Sonya squealed, called Raphael on a three-way call and we made our plans. I didn’t bother to go into my week, as we would cover it at dinner. We would meet for dinner, then cruise the gay bars. It was eons since I was out. It would also help me ignore the fact my babies were meeting the blond bimbo for the first time.
I pulled out after my call with a smile on my face. I would spend the afternoon with my book, then get glam and meet my friends. I thought I saw Aiden’s truck as I left the parking lot but didn’t stop. He and I would catch up later. I needed to know if he was serious about the painting or not. However, that could be done on Monday.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Aiden
Aiden gave the steering wheel of his truck an irritated pound with his fist, as he watched Helen drive away in her shiny red mustang. Her Mustang, he repeated to himself, savoring the information as he had all day. It was the lone bright spot in an otherwise dismal day.
After producing her bid, he had tossed and turned an ear out for her car. He was tempted to slip the completed bid under her door when he finished it at 3am but he resisted the urge. It struck him as a little desperate and that was not how he wanted Helen to see him.
Doing that would also have denied him the chance to see her before she left. He smirked as he pulled into the parking lot of his company. The meeting this morning was as full of undercurrents as the rest of their meetings. He still couldn’t believe he had done a complete 180 to doing her loft.
Despite his fear that she might be another Alicia, he couldn’t deny she drew him, as he had never been drawn to another woman in his life. His father tried to explain once how he felt when he met Aiden’s mother and the best he could come up with was ‘he just knew’. Aiden wasn’t willing to go that far, yet, but there was something…
Aiden walked into his office after greeting his assistant and saw what he hoped to on his desk. There sat a signed contract and a check from Helen Dudley. He sighed, as he looked at her clear, confident handwriting, so indicative of the woman herself.
He was still amazed she was moving so quickly. Most homeowners fussed around for months before finally making up their minds. Helen had moved in less than a week. From idea to plans to contract, it was almost unheard of in his business.
Aiden went into the office after Helen pulled off this morning. He knew trying to get any more sleep would be a waste of time. He hadn’t slept well since the day he met the woman next door. He didn’t see that changing until he and Helen came to some kind of understanding.
Once in the office with a large cup of coffee, he had looked at the schedule for his company. Things were busy, always a blessing, but it meant adding Helen’s job in would take a little creative arranging. The good thing was she was moving out so he’d have access 24/7 so if he had to run a crew late in the day, he wouldn’t be disturbing her.
Once he got things situated, he sat and waited. He worked, but he kept an ear out for Helen’s phone call. She’d call, she had to. He knew his bid was competitive and he knew his company had a good reputation. She had even seen his work in his loft. He was a shoe-in, he told himself as he tried to concentrate on something other than the non-ringing phone.
When her call had not come by noon, he left the office to check out some job sites after grabbing some lunch. He refused to sit around like a geek hoping to get a date with the cheerleader to the prom. He was a businessman and he had a business to run. He didn’t have time to wait around to hear about what was just another contract. Cali could handle it if Helen called. When she called, he reminded himself fiercely.
The sites were running smoothly and even Sam was behaving himself after Aiden had pulled him into his office for a Come to Jesus talk. Aiden had pulled him in the last week, after Sam called in again. He let Sam know the calling in, arriving late or leaving early would have to stop. Sam had agreed but seemed a little resentful and Aiden knew he’d have to keep an eye on him until he knew which way the man would jump.
Aiden looked at the check and wondered if this meant the possible deal for a painting was off. He put the check aside. There weren’t any upfront costs right now for the job so he could wait to deposit the check.
He picked up the phone to call Helen then put it back down. He’d talk to her later at the loft. She said she was moving out, but she didn’t have any luggage with her that he could see this morning.
Aiden sat at his desk and pulled out the tentative schedule he had set up for Helen’s job. She was giving him a month to get the job done and he was determined to get it done in that period. He wanted it completely finished when she got back even if she wasn’t expecting it.
Aiden worked throughout the day and by five, he had a plan hammered out. After he knew Helen was out of the loft, he would get started this weekend, after his niece’s soccer game. He had talked to his demo crew and they were willing to work the weekend for the extra money.
Aiden grabbed the key and left the office determined to catch Helen before she left. He drove to the loft and got a bad feeling when he didn’t see her mustang. The feeling increased when she didn’t answer a hopeful knock at the door.
He used the key to get in and saw Helen had already moved out. He tried to make himself comfortable with that, but deep inside he was disappointed. Even if he and Helen couldn’t take their relationship to the next level, it was nice to have her close by.
Aiden went back to his truck, grabbed his clipboard to do his walk though. The loft echoed with emptiness, the little furniture that was there was gone. She was gone, he thought sadly, then shook off the thought.
She was, that was the plan, he told himself, and the sooner he got her place finished, the sooner she’d be back. He knew that fact would influence how quickly the job was done. He wanted her back. He didn’t know where their relationship, if you could call it that, was going but he wanted to find out.
Aiden walked through all three floors comparing what was there to the plans he had. He had an idea, but he’d check with Helen to see if she’d approve. The loft was 2500 square feet spread over three floors.
The bottom floor was 1000 square feet and the upper two were 750 each set slightly back from the bottom floor, but open to the lower floor. The space was narrow but deep. There were only windows in the front and on the side, which let in little light as it was now, but after the construction it would be filled with light.
Aiden quickly finished and started to leave the empty loft. He took a last look around and spied a jump drive tucked into the corner where the office area used to be. It was on a key chain and Aiden picked it up. He spied a nail next to t
he door and hung it up for easy retrieval in case Helen came back for it.
Inside his own loft, Aiden quickly showered and changed into some sweats. He still hadn’t made it to the store so once again he called for pizza. This time he used his landline and his address came up at the pizza place automatically. He grinned when he remembered how easily Helen had seen through his ploy the night before.
Why had he been so convinced she had another man over there, he wondered. Jealousy was not his style and he had already experienced it more than once with Helen. He put that aside to think about later.
He flopped down on the sofa to wait. He ignored his feelings of loneliness. He was never lonely. Growing up in a house with three sisters made moving out into his own place a treat. One he still enjoyed, he assured himself. This was good he assured himself.
When the pizza arrived, Aiden ate it on the couch in front of the TV, pushing away the memories of the congenial meal he had shared with Helen the night before. He moaned as he remembered that spot of pizza sauce in the corner of her mouth. He really wished he had gotten that for her, preferably with his tongue.
Aiden managed to choke down a couple of slices before shoving the rest into his refrigerator. Must be burned out, he told himself about his weak hunger. He refused to think about the other hunger that was driving his appetite away.
Aiden finally gave up about nine and made the phone call he was dying to all day. He had gotten Helen’s cell phone number from her contract and he has put off calling her since then. He dialed and waited, feeling like a teenager calling his girlfriend.
He pulled the phone away from his ear when Helen answered. He could hear loud music and laughing in the background. So much for a quiet evening at home, he thought resentfully. He had pictured Helen tucked into bed at her motel or maybe hunched over her laptop. Not… wherever she was.