by K. M. Scott
Leaning down, I kiss him and say, “I’m so sorry for what happened. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.”
His smile tells me he’s truly forgiven me. “I know I’m as much to blame. You deserved more than a junkie.”
“Promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Promise me we can forget all this and be happy again. I want us to be happy like we used to be before everything got all messed up.”
“I promise. This is a new chance for us. We’re starting over and have the ability to be as happy as we want.”
“Good. You know what I want now?”
He understands the tone in my voice and slowly runs his hands up over my thighs. “I think I know, but why don’t you tell me what you want?”
A tiny moan escapes my throat as his thumbs graze the very tops of my legs. “I want my gorgeous author boyfriend to make love to me over there on that couch in front of the fire.”
“Your wish is my command, my muse.” Ian stands and holds his hand out for me to take it. I weave my fingers through his, and he asks, “Anything in particular you’d like?”
As he guides me to the couch, I think about his question and there isn’t anything in particular I want. Other than him completely lost in me and me completely lost in him.
He turns to face me and kisses me deeply, nearly taking my breath away and making my knees go weak. “I’m going to worship every beautiful inch of your body. When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to think of anything but how much I love you. Now lie back and let me get down to work.”
I do as he commands and lie back on the couch. Crawling up my body, he gently pulls my sweater over my head, leaving me naked in front of him.
Beginning at my ankles, he slowly kisses up one leg and then the other until his mouth is ever so close to my excited pussy. I let my legs fall open to the sides, eager for him to press his mouth to my clit and give me what I want, but he has other plans.
He looks up at me as he nips at the tender skin of my left thigh and then says, “I know I told you this before, but your cunt is the prettiest pink I’ve ever seen in my life. Just seeing it makes me want to bury my face in you.”
“I wish you would.”
“Not yet. I want your body primed for me, so sit back and let yourself enjoy what I’m about to do.”
I watch as he drags his tongue up toward my core, stopping just as his mouth reaches the crease of my leg. Over and over, he teases me like this, every so often letting his lips graze my pussy lightly and making me want him so fucking badly. No matter how much I whimper and beg, he still persists in teasing me, but I know the waiting will be worth it.
When he finally presses his mouth to me, it’s like heaven. His tongue flat, he drags it up over my tender skin, moaning against my body until he reaches my clit. I watch in rapt attention as he hovers over that point of perfect pleasure and gazes up at me with a look of the devil in his eyes.
“Ready or should I wait a little more?”
I bury my hands in his hair and pull his head toward my body, dying to feel his mouth on me. He doesn’t resist at all, as hungry for me as I am for him, and the first touch of his tongue on my clit sends a jolt of pleasure racing through my body like electricity coursing through me.
My fingertips tingle as he sucks my clit between his lips, and just as I’m sure I can’t take another second of this sweet torture, he gently bites down and it’s like fireworks exploding behind my eyes as my orgasm takes me over. I ride his mouth as waves of pleasure wash over me, and as the exquisite tremors begin to subside, he flicks his tongue and slides two fingers inside me, curling them perfectly against that sweet spot he knows will make me come again.
And then I come for the second time, this time even harder than the first, my hands holding his head so I don’t miss a moment of the pleasure his mouth provides. Time ceases to exist in those moments when I feel like I’m floating above myself, and when he finally sits back away from me, I can’t imagine how I’m going to continue feeling like this.
I open my eyes to see him smacking his lips like he’s just enjoyed a favorite treat. He grins like a naughty schoolboy, and I can’t help but smile.
“You look like the cat who just ate the canary,” I tease.
“I love the taste of you on my tongue.” He brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks me off them. “I want you to know that just in case I someday have some kind of difficulty getting it up that I’ll be more than happy to spend all my time making you come that way.”
Reaching out for him, I take him by the hand to pull him down on top of me. “I do love that, but I think I’d miss the feeling of you inside me. We’ll just have to get you the little blue pill.”
His hard cock nudges up against me, and Ian groans in my ear, “Thankfully, that’s not a problem I have now. Now my cock gets hard every time you’re anywhere nearby.”
I spread my legs wide to take him inside me, and he lifts his hips off the couch. I want to feel him fill me like only he can, but in my ear I hear him say, “I want you on my lap like the first time we were together.”
Sitting up, he pulls me on top of him and in a second my thighs are straddling him as his cock waits for me so sit down on him. Slowly, I lower myself down and feel him enter me, filling me until there’s no space between us and we’re together in the most intimate way.
I kiss him and taste myself on his lips and tongue as he begins to thrust his cock in and out of me. His hands hold my hips firmly, and in my ear he moans, “I love it when you ride me like this. Let me watch you come apart for me, Kristina.”
Raising myself up, I slide down his cock again as he sucks a nipple hard into his mouth. He knows what I like and what gets me off, and he gives it to me like no one else ever has. I ride him, my hips rocking back and forth, while he bites down on my excited nipple, sending waves of delight rushing through my body.
I watch him move from one breast to the other, each one receiving his attention and ratcheting up my desire with every gentle nip of my skin. The mouth that just brought me such pleasure now gives me the pain I crave to get off.
Inside, my orgasm begins to unwind slowly like coiled snake until I’m bucking wildly on his lap needing the release I know he can give me. Leaning back, he watches me inch toward that moment of sweet abandon, all the while guiding my movement with his hands on my hips. I’m so close. Just a few more passes of his cock over that spot inside me and I’ll come apart.
Ian lets go of my left hip and moves his hand between us. Sliding his finger over my swollen and needy clit, his touch finally sends me over the edge and my orgasm explodes inside me. I throw my head back as every nerve in my body comes alive and focuses on that spot where his fingertip still rests.
For a long moment, I forget everything but him inside me. I forget all the good and the bad we’ve been through. I forget the drugs and Cilla’s betrayal. I forget everything that tore us apart and all I can think of is how incredible my body feels on his.
“I love watching you when you come. You’re so erotic and sensual, just like a woman should be.”
I open my eyes and look down at me staring up at me with wonder in his eyes, like what I am to him is something amazing. Leaning down, I kiss him and say, “Only with you. I’ve never been like this with anyone else. I think it’s you who makes me feel that way.”
“What way?”
“Sensual. Like I’m sexy and it’s something that feels natural.”
“Good because it is something natural. I see it every time we’re together, and I love it. I love that you never pretend to be something other than what you are.”
I look down at where his body and mine are still joined and frown. “You didn’t come.”
“I had to work at it, if that makes you feel better about my not coming. I almost couldn’t hold back at one point.”
“Why did you then?” I say, pouting because I love when I can make him come that way.
“Because a
s much as I enjoy coming from being inside you, I love coming from your mouth even more. You know that.”
“I think you have an unhealthy obsession with my going down on you, Ian.”
“I think you love it as much as I do.”
What I love is that when I suck his cock he’s happy. I still wonder from time to time if I’m really any good at it or if he’s just inclined to come easier that way, but it doesn’t matter. No man has ever taken my body to the heights he has, so if my going down on him gives him pleasure, who am I to say it shouldn’t be that way?
I lift myself off him and look down to see his cock glistening with my juices. Lowering myself to the floor, I wrap my fingers around him and look up to see him watching me as if he can’t wait for me to put my mouth on his skin. For so long I thought this part of sex demeaning to women, an act that made us subservient and less than the man, but now I see with the right person, it’s just another way to bring the man you adore pleasure.
And as I watch him come, I know this is something even he doesn’t realize means something to me. That my touch, my mouth, can excite him and I can take all he has makes me feel like that sensual being I’ve always wanted to be.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ian
We lie in each other’s arms after a third night straight of lovemaking that only reinforced how much I love Kristina. No other woman has ever made me feel so entirely devoted to her happiness, and although it’s not my usual way of feeling, I genuinely enjoy being the reason she smiles.
Me. Ian Anwell. The reason someone so incredibly sweet and gentle is happy. As I feel her move against me and make that adorable snoring noise, I have a hard time believing I could be so lucky.
The storm outside ended two days ago, so the roads should be passable enough to let us leave and start our life together back in my apartment. I’ve had enough of the sticks.
I gently smooth my hand over her soft hair, caressing her back up and down and feeling more content than I could ever imagine being. Today, we’ll drive back to the city and move her into my apartment, and after a few days of settling in, which I intend on spending in bed as much as possible, I’ll get working on Silk and Steel in earnest and see what magic Sheila can work with Silk.
For the first time in my adult life, I can’t wait for what’s about to happen.
Kristina stirs and gazes up at me with a questioning look in her blue eyes. “I woke you up, didn’t I?”
“No, not this time. I’ve been awake for a while.”
She blushes in her adorable way and smiles. “Good. I thought my snoring woke you up again. Are you sure you want me to move in knowing I spend my nights as a little chainsaw?”
Pulling her to me, I press a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sure I can’t wait to have you live with me. I was just thinking about it, in fact.”
“I can’t wait either, Ian.”
I slide under her and my hands travel down her back to squeeze her ass. “Me too. I’ll cook every night for you after I write all day, and we’ll spend long hours making love in every room and on every surface. And in the mornings, we’ll get up and fuck like crazy people in that shower you love.”
Biting her lip, she smiles at my plans and asks, “What about when I have to work?”
“Then I’ll text you too many times a day and tell you how much I love you, and when you come home, I’ll cook for you and we’ll make love over and over every night to make up for all the time you were away. And I’ll tell you every morning how much I love waking up next to you.”
“Your little chainsaw,” she says with a giggle.
I kiss her softly and nuzzle her neck. “My little chainsaw.”
This is what we can be when the madness we are subsides for even a short time. Sweetness and love. I could spend the rest of my life just like this with her cuddled up against me.
“What about when we fight?”
I take a deep breath in. “We’ll never fight.”
Kristina looks at me and shakes her head, her expression serious now. “You know we’re going to fight, Ian. What’s going to happen when we do?”
“We’ll fight like we love. Completely. Madly. Wildly. And if the fight is my fault, I promise to only be an asshole for twenty-four hours. But you need to remember who I am, Kristina. I’m going to be jealous of other men I think want you. I’m going to be possessive when I shouldn’t be, even though I won’t want to be. You’re my addiction.”
She kisses me and cups my face with her hands. “And I promise to love you even when we’re fighting completely, madly, and wildly because you’re the only man I want to be with.”
We stay there silent in each other’s arms with the knowledge that no matter what happens, who we are will always be based on the love we have for one another. It’s raw and ragged sometimes, and smooth as silk at other times, but it’s always the most honest emotion we share between us.
I love her with utterly all I have, and she loves me with all she has. Anything less for us wouldn’t be real.
Breaking the silence, I whisper in her ear, “Although I’d usually say we should stay here and enjoy ourselves, I think we should get back to the city as soon as we can. The storm’s over, so I think we can leave whenever we’re ready.”
She rolls off me and kisses my cheek. “Okay. Give me a little bit and I’ll be ready to go. I just have to grab a shower and get back into my clothes. They should be dry by now.”
“You don’t want me to go out to the car and get your bag?”
“No, it’s okay. As long as I don’t have to put on wet clothes, I’ll be fine.”
I love it when she’s cute, and as she slips from the bed, she flashes me an adorable smile. “It’s not like I’ve spent much time in them since I got here.”
An hour later after I’ve dug both vehicles out of the snow drifts that nearly cover my car, we’re ready to go back to reality, which includes the media mess we ran away from just a few days ago. I check the fireplace and turn off the lights, already missing our time here, but no matter what we have to deal with back in the city, we have each other.
And that’s all that matters.
Kristina stands at the front door waiting for me, and wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close. “Ready?”
She looks up into my eyes with worry written all over her face. “Do you think we should stay longer to let all that business die down back there?”
“No. I am who I am, and that’s not going to change. As Ian Anwell, I write historical fiction, and as T. Anderson, I wrote our story and I’m writing even more of it. It is what it is. As long as I know you’re by my side, everything will be fine. So let’s go back and show the world we’re together and then hope they go away.”
“What if they don’t?”
“Then that gives us even more reasons to stay inside in bed. I wouldn’t worry, though. Today we might be newsworthy, but trust me. There will be a celebrity who does something tomorrow that will make us as boring as yesterday’s news. That you can depend on.”
“Okay. I’ll follow you and after I give Sienna her car back, I’ll just go to your place. I have a suitcase full of clothes and everything I need, so I’m all set. I can go to my apartment in a few days.”
“Perfect. Be careful on the hill. I’ve driven that road in the snow a few times and it can be treacherous.”
With a big smile, she says, “Got it! I’m more worried about you, though. Sienna’s SUV is made for this type of weather, but all you have is a car.”
“Don’t worry about me. I grew up around this type of weather, so I know how to handle it. Ready?”
She kisses me sweetly and buttons up the last button on her coat. “Ready. See you in a few.”
The roads leading back to the city aren’t as bad as I’d feared they’d be, and as I drive I can’t help but daydream about how life has turned out. What began as my obsession with Kristina as she acted on my television screen has become the kind of love I never believed someone
like me would ever have. Addicts just don’t get those happily ever afters. Not in real life, anyway. Only in books and in movies do they get that second chance because of a great woman who truly loves them. The reality is usually far harsher.
A life alone always fighting the demons that live inside and want more than anything to resurface and take over.
But that’s not me anymore. Yes, I’ll always be a recovering heroin addict. That’s a truth that will never go away, so I have no choice. I have to face it. But I’m more than that, and for a long time I didn’t think I was.
Until Kristina. She makes me see no matter what that junk offers, I can have better. I want better. I want that elusive happily ever after so popular in the fiction I write and the movies she makes and so rare in real life.
I look in the rearview mirror to see her behind me smiling like she knows I’m looking back at her. I wave and watch her wave back and blow me a kiss. Even such a small gesture makes my heart swell with the happiness only she can give me.
But then her expression morphs into one of horror, and in a flash, everything changes. Like some slow-motion replay, I take my gaze from her back to the road and see the truck rounding the turn into our lane. I swerve to avoid it, but it’s no use. He’s going too fast and he sideswipes the car, tearing off the mirror next to me. His front end rips down the side of my car, and the noise of metal crushing metal fills my ears.
I lose control and then there’s only spinning. Frantically, I try to see Kristina, but it’s all happening so fast now. At some point, I don’t hear the screeching sound of metal on metal anymore, and everything becomes a blur. I press on the brake over and over, but it’s no use. I crash through the guardrail and careen down the side of an embankment.
Trees fly by me as visions of my life rush through my mind. They’re just pieces of my life, actually, but they make up the whole of who I am.
Me with my parents at the house I grew up in on a spring day, the sun warming my face as my father tossed a baseball toward my glove.