“Do you need me to carry you to the couch?”
Sophie closed her eyes. “No. Just give me a second.”
The pain in her hip had definitely lessened. The second she requested was purely selfish, purely for her own enjoyment. Sophie hated playing games, but she just wanted one more moment with his arms wrapped around her. One more moment not worrying about why Zach kept pushing her away. For right now, he was everything she needed, but saying so would cause him to close off even more and she needed him open, she needed him to be as raw and exposed as she was.
“Soph.”
That tone did amazing things to her body, her heart. Still, this wasn’t what she’d come here for, and she wouldn’t be throwing herself at him each time they came together. He wanted to distance himself from feelings he was obviously fighting, and she refused to be that woman who kept trying to gain his attention.
Which meant no more melting into his arms. She’d have to stand on her own two feet, no matter the pain in her hip. Damn it, that shooting pain came at the most inopportune times.
“I’m okay,” she assured him, easing away from the comfort of his embrace. “Hardly a twinge now.”
Pasting on a smile, she smoothed her hands down her simple silk blouse and pencil skirt before she turned to face him. Those dark brows were drawn in again as his eyes assessed her. This was the precise reason she refused to lean on him, to use her slight handicap as a crutch to gain more attention. She’d never be that girl.
“The binders?” she reminded him, hoping to pull him from the guilt he most likely flooded himself with. “I have an open house soon, and I need to get there early.”
Zach hesitated, then nodded. When he turned and left the room, Sophie exhaled a breath and applauded her performance and her self-control. It would’ve been so easy to use Zach’s remorse to gain his undivided attention, but she wanted him to look at her and not see the night of the accident, not see the mistake he made or the year he spent in prison. She wanted him to look at her and see a woman. Not his sister’s best friend, not anything other than a woman who was attracted to a stubborn, hardheaded man.
Glancing down at all the sleeping puppies again, Sophie crossed to the sink in the corner to wash her hands. While she loved animals, she didn’t necessarily want to go to the open house smelling like a dog. Although a cute puppy sleeping on the living room rug would make for a picturesque setting and tug on some family’s heartstrings.
She’d love to take a pup for herself, but she wondered how Flynn would accept a newcomer . . . probably not very well at all, considering he’d had the run of the house for years now.
By the time Sophie made it into the living room, Zach had stacked the thick black binders on the coffee table.
“Just keep them,” he told her, crossing his arms over his still bare chest. “If I need them I’ll let you know, but it’s going to be a while before I can focus on her designs and plans.”
Sophie crossed to gather the binders. “Thank you for not pushing me away on this project. Helping with this really makes me feel close to Chelsea. I’m just not ready to part with you guys just yet.”
She laughed as she reached for the binders, but Zach placed a hand on her forearm. Her eyes darted to his scarred hand moments before he snatched it away.
“What do you mean, part with us?” he asked, standing way too close for her emotional comfort.
She straightened and faced him. “I just meant that with Chelsea gone, you guys still have each other, and it’s not like any of the Monroe boys are going to call me up to go shoe shopping or to go watch the latest chick flick.”
“Braxton might. He’s a sucker for those damn movies.”
Sophie smiled. “You know what I mean.”
On a sigh, Zach nodded. “Listen, I know there’s been tension between us. Just because Chelsea is gone, doesn’t mean we’re all not still friends.”
Sophie stared at those dark eyes, so intense and mesmerizing. The sprinkling of chest hair, the tattoo, and the random scar were spellbinding as well. But she had to concentrate on what he said . . . and then use his words against him.
“Are we friends, Zach? Because that’s not the vibe I’ve been getting from you.”
He continued to hold her still with just his gaze as he raked a palm over his beard. The bristling sound against his hand had her trembling. She knew what that coarse hair felt like against her skin, her lips, and she craved more.
“We’re friends, Sophie,” he muttered. “I’ve let you in about as much as I’ve let anyone.”
He’d let her in? In what? His house? Certainly not his life. Could one person be that closed off from the world? Other than Liam and Braxton, Zach really didn’t have people deeply rooted in his life. His business didn’t count. No doubt he even kept his employees at arm’s length.
“Wow, you really aren’t a people person, are you?”
Shaking her head, she reached for the binders, because this conversation was going nowhere fast and she had somewhere to be. Getting into a verbal sparring match each time she saw him was only going to make this process more difficult.
Clutching the binders, she turned and smacked into Zach’s chest. “Excuse me.”
He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He didn’t touch her. The man simply stared down at her as if he was trying to figure out the next move in this delicate game of chess.
“What?” she whispered, afraid he’d say something that made her more confused . . . afraid he’d say nothing and let her walk away. “You can’t keep doing this to me.”
His hands came up to cover hers. “What am I doing?”
“I need a truce. You want to be friends, fine. But you can’t look at me like that, you can’t push me away with your words and draw me back in with a look. I deserve better than to be yanked around.”
Zach’s hands tightened on hers briefly before dropping away. “You’re right. You do deserve better.”
When he stepped back, Sophie cursed herself. “You’re taking my words wrong.”
Zach walked to the front door, his eyes on the death grip he had on the knob. “No, I’m taking them exactly how I should. You do deserve better, Soph. Better than anything I could give, friendship or otherwise. Sometimes I need to be reminded of that.”
Forgetting the binders, the open house, the outside world entirely, Sophie dumped the binders onto the couch and crossed to Zach. Grabbing his broad shoulders, she forced him to turn and face her. No way was she leaving him here to beat up on himself.
But before she could utter a word, he’d taken back control of the situation and himself. Framing her face with his rough palms, he backed her against the door and came nose to nose with her.
“You can’t touch me,” he murmured against her lips. “I barely hold it together when I’m with you. Can’t you see that? I don’t know how else to warn you.”
“You’d never hurt me.”
His thumb stroked her bottom lip. “I already have.”
Anger bubbled through her. “Get past it, Zach. You’ve done your penance.”
His forehead came to rest on hers. “I pay it every time I see you, think of you.”
“Why do you do this to yourself?” Her heart literally ached for him. “Why can’t you just take what you want? What we want?”
The all-consuming ache for him to close that miniscule gap and kiss her was killing her. She could practically taste him, yet he still held himself back.
“Because selfish needs stole everything ten years ago.”
When he pushed away, Sophie took a moment to process his words as she stared at his back. “If that’s how you truly feel, then you should’ve stayed in prison. It’s no different than the steel walls you’ve put around yourself, only this time you’re the guard. You refused to see me for a full year.”
Her voice broke on that last word and she cursed herself.
“I won’t beg you to start living again,” she told him as she went back to retrieve the binders. “
If you want to live like this forever, then go ahead. But don’t look for me to be an enabler, because I think you’re being selfish. Do you see me sitting around feeling sorry for myself because I have issues from that night? You have no idea what I lost. No idea. I had plans, Zach, and they were instantly taken from me. But I don’t focus on all of that or place blame. I’ve learned to live with the life I have, the cards I’ve been dealt, because otherwise I’d never make it.”
She stormed back to the door and jerked it open as tears threatened to spill. “So don’t worry about your emotional battle over me. I assure you I won’t come around again without Braxton or Liam as a buffer.”
She slammed his door, feeling like a fool and hating herself for being so open and harsh with him. But damn it, the man was infuriating and she wanted to shake him. Then she wanted to kiss him.
And that was the crux of her problem. No matter how frustrating and hardheaded he was, no matter this guilt he kept wrapping himself in, Sophie still wanted to be the one to uncover all of those layers and help Zach heal.
Since when had she become a masochist?
Chapter Nine
Later that day, he’d left the binders on her porch and run away like a child afraid of getting caught. So what if her words had been dead-on? So what if she had him pegged in ways he hadn’t even considered?
Sophie was his light. Whether he would ever admit the truth aloud or not, she was the light pulling him back into the world he’d so desperately wanted to escape. Concentrating on work, focusing on the grief and self-imprisonment had been his go-to since getting out.
Not long after he’d been released, his parents had passed, leaving him even more angry and bitter with the world. Yet Chelsea and Sophie continued on. Both women were important to his life, both women found ways to move past their individual hurt and continue to thrive.
Thrive. Zach sat on the floor in his utility room and fed the runt of the litter from a bottle as he had that afternoon. He honestly didn’t know if there was ever a time in his life when he’d actually thrived.
As a child he’d been in a less-than-stellar environment, thrust into ugly, horrendous situations no child should ever endure. Once he came to the Monroes, the damage had been done, but they’d loved him anyway.
Then he’d gone and gotten all cocky when he’d finally confessed to himself that he had a thing for Sophie. He’d shown off at that party, and when Liam had argued Zach wasn’t in any shape to drive, he’d wagered a bet that he was.
A damn bet. A bet that changed so much in so many lives, all because Zach’s ego had taken center stage to common sense.
His cell vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it. There wasn’t anybody he wanted to talk to, and he highly doubted this would be work-related on a Saturday night.
Focusing on the pups, Zach wondered who would want to adopt these little fur balls. Marcie had said they wouldn’t be ready to go for several weeks. How the hell did Zach keep a houseful of dogs when he was trying to finalize his own renovating so he could put the place up for sale?
And he was definitely selling. No question about it. He’d done some of the initial number crunching, and there was no way he could move forward with the Sunset Lake property if he didn’t sell this house first. He needed that chunk of money, plus a loan from the bank to fully dig into all of the updating that mansion needed.
Zach smiled. Despite this mess and the uncertainty that awaited him, he couldn’t help but smile at Chelsea and her larger-than-life dream. She might have been spontaneous, but she never did anything halfway.
After Zach finished feeding the runt, he refilled the water bowls, let the mom outside to do her business, and put fresh newspaper down for the puppies . . . not that they were making use of it other than to shred it to pieces. But perhaps they’d get the hang of using it for their bodily deposits as opposed to leaving little surprises on the freshly tiled floor.
Zach’s stomach growled and he realized he hadn’t eaten since his early lunch. He’d been preoccupied with the dogs, his overly blatant neighbor, and then Sophie.
The dogs he would have to deal with until he could find them good homes. The neighbor . . . hadn’t he pawned her off onto his trusted employee, Nathan?
And Sophie. Zach sighed. There was no easy answer when it came to her. Even thinking her name flooded him with a multitude of emotions.
Yes, he used the accident as a wedge to keep his distance, especially from her. Even if he could get beyond the fact that he’d altered her life, he couldn’t give in to his selfish desires and tell her how he truly felt. The ugliness that lived in his past was a part of him. He came from parents who were full of evil, and no way would he ever risk passing that on to a child. And he had no doubt Sophie would want children. She’d be the perfect mother.
Zach rested his palms on the island in his kitchen and dropped his head. What the hell? How did his thoughts instantly go to Sophie and children? Yes, he’d wanted her for years and had briefly lost his mind and wanted to see if they could be more than friends, but with the accident, the prison, and life standing in his way, Zach had circled back around to the realization that she needed someone who wouldn’t taint her life.
One day Sophie would meet a man who was worthy of her, they’d marry and start a family. And when that time came, Zach would have to leave Haven, because seeing Sophie with another man would absolutely kill him.
Seeing her around with Martin was bad enough, but Zach knew Sophie wasn’t in love with him. She wouldn’t have kissed Zach with so much passion if she loved another man.
“What the hell?”
Zach jerked around at Braxton’s cursing and the slam of the side door in the utility room.
“Don’t bother them. They’re down for the night,” Zach called back. The last thing he wanted was for those puppies to be disturbed again, because last night had nearly done him in. They’d yipped and made noises all night. But he couldn’t be angry, because they were too damn cute. Even when they yawned in his face, that sweet puppy breath got to him.
Zach turned, leaning back against the island as Braxton climbed over the gate in the doorway to the utility room. Braxton stood on the kitchen side, still staring back into the room and shaking his head.
“What the hell?” he repeated, jerking around to focus on Zach. “You starting a kennel or something?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I tried calling, but you didn’t answer.” Braxton moved to the refrigerator and opened it to examine the contents.
So that had been the missed call.
“Looking for something?”
Braxton straightened with a pizza box in hand. “Yeah. You need to go to the store.”
Zach sighed. He might as well get this uncomfortable talk over with and move on, because Braxton was definitely going to be the easiest one to share the news with and now was as good a time as any.
“I’m selling the house.”
Braxton dropped the box on the island and stared at Zach. “What?”
“This house,” Zach clarified. “Not the Sunset Lake one.”
“Regardless, why?” Braxton flipped the lid on the box and surveyed the few remaining pieces. “Are you asking or just telling me? I assume you haven’t told Liam or he would’ve called me.”
Zach pulled the pizza box away. “Forget this. We’ll order a new one. There’s not enough here for both of us.”
Braxton crossed his arms over his chest. “Then order it, so we can talk about this ridiculous idea of selling the house.”
“It’s not ridiculous,” Zach muttered, pulling out his phone.
He hated the look on his brother’s face, hated having this entire conversation, but Braxton would see this was the only option at this point.
Zach placed the order and made his way into the living room. He assumed Braxton would follow. After they ate, maybe they could finish that final bathroom project so the place could be put on the market. Not that Braxton was big on manual lab
or; he’d probably hate to get dirt on his expensive teacher pants, but Zach could always use an assistant.
Zach sank into his oversized leather chair as his brother stepped into the room and leaned against the door frame. “You want to tell me about the dogs or why you’re suddenly selling our childhood home?”
Resting his hands on the thick arms of the chair, Zach shrugged. “Pizza will be here in forty-five minutes. I can cover both topics pretty fast. The dog was a stray in my bushes. I couldn’t leave her, and the vet couldn’t get here to help, so I brought her in last night and she delivered puppies. I’m looking for homes for them.”
Zach refused to shift in his chair under his brother’s intense stare. The decision was made, for reasons beyond his control, and regardless of emotions or memories or anything else that might factor into Braxton and Liam’s point of view, Zach wasn’t giving in.
“As far as the house, I need the money to help with Chelsea’s project.” When Braxton continued to stare, Zach shrugged. “That brings us up to date, and we still have forty-four minutes left if you have anything to add.”
Pushing off the door frame, Braxton moved farther into the room. “Yeah. I have a hell of a lot to say. First, good for you with the dogs. I guess you do have a heart when it counts.”
Standing by the fireplace Zach had just finished refacing, Braxton toyed with picture frames that had been their mother’s. Zach had put them in a box when he’d added the new stone, but as soon as he was done he’d gotten them back out. His mother’s treasures couldn’t be kept in a box, even if one of the photos was of Zach in his cap and gown at graduation, looking like he was fake smiling for the camera . . . which he was.
“Second,” Braxton went on as he turned to fully focus on Zach, “did you already discuss this potential sale with Sophie?”
Wrapped in You Page 11