"You Children of Elseth," Garren mused mostly to himself. "You do not think like we think. You think as a people who have many things. I am one man among the hundreds that Drei has at her command. I change nothing."
"You must know someplace we can go, someone we can warn. If we could find the governor and governess-"
"You assume the leaders of Nivenea survive."
"Drei will come for you, though, won't she? For us?"
Garren smirked. "Drei is not stupid. People like you, like me, like the healer girl-" he indicated Aia, "We are precious resources. Drei will need us again someday. We are more useful to her alive than dead. She will send some looking, but she will not stop what she is doing to do it."
"So that's it? You just don't care?"
"I know my limit. It is here."
Les was getting nowhere. He turned to Teveres. "You want to stop her, don't you?"
The color in Teveres's cheeks was still slow to return. He nodded, but his response was delayed, like he was processing words at half his normal pace.
"Then get up!" Les rose himself, and instantly regretted it. "We should go after her while we still have the time!" Kuot>"Thespan>
Teveres gave Les the same distant smirk that Garren wore. He did not stir. Les let out an exasperated sigh and slammed his fist against the tree. The tree did not yield.
Garren looked ahead to the north. Darkness was falling over the forest, the stars peeking through twilight skies. "You may follow me to make camp for the night, if you wish. We should travel further if we are to stop safely."
Veni shook her head vigorously. Though her arms were still low over her abdomen where she had been in pain, she stood tall and confidently. Aia hovered over her, protective of her patient.
"I have to go home," said Veni. "I can't stay here with you."
"You shouldn't go by yourself, not after-" Aia began.
"I won't stay here with him." Teveres wouldn't look up to acknowledge Veni's spiteful words, even as she was glaring a hole through him. "And I certainly won't follow any of you on some crazy expedition. I've had enough of all of this - of all of you."
"Then go," Garren replied, unconcerned, "No one here will stop you." At that, Teveres looked up at Garren, but he gave Teveres a terse warning glance. Garren plucked a small bag from his belt of seemingly endless supplies and threw it at Veni. "You could buy a house with the silver in that bag. The village Eldanna is two hours west of here."
Veni examined the bag briefly to confirm its contents. Satisfied, she looped it through her own belt. She looked Aia up and down and touched her hand gently. "Thank you."
Teveres pulled himself to standing. His shoulders were slumped in resignation, as if he were awaiting certain punishment. He bristled as Veni neared him.
He held his hand out, the small blue-and-green mottled pendant in his palm. She snatched it away from him quickly. Les flinched when Veni pulled her hand back to slap Teveres across the face, the sound harsh against the quiet of night. Nobody moved when she spoke.
"Don't come looking for me," Veni said to him. With nods of acknowledgement to Les, Garren and Aia, she turned a heel and disappeared into the west.
Teveres's face reddened on the side where she hit him. He watched her walk away, his jaw set, and chose to break the silence only once she was out of sight.
"Garren's right," Teveres said, "We should all move on."
Chapter 10
The campfire's light played off the trunks of the trees in the small clearing where Garren, Les, Aia and Teveres chose to set up camp. Though Teveres had been sitting close to the flame for almost a half hour, the heat could not touch the cold inside him. He didn't cry, but inside the grief and rage overwhelmed him, too po Nuot>&t.
The physical pain of his injuries was a welcome distraction. The bandage over his thigh where the priestess's blade sliced him was soaked in blood. His shoulder throbbed in time with his heartbeat, reminding him, regretfully, that he was alive.
Les was already fast asleep, stretched out just to his right. Teveres envied him. Despite his exhaustion, he could not quiet his mind long enough to do the same. Everything that happened was his fault. It was his short-sightedness that might lead to the deaths of not just tens, but thousands of people. That was a lot of blood, even for him.
Aia and Garren were both still awake. Garren was cleaning his various blades, the only one among them who appeared untouched by the days' events. He was much the same as ever.
Aia, however, was not the same. She sat with her arms folded together for warmth, purple eyes lost to the flames. Her tunic was slashed where Drei's blade had pierced her, the white linen of a bandage showing beneath. She moved only rarely, and when she did it was with all the grace of an 80-year-old. Teveres suspected that it had something to do with the way her healing worked, but he couldn't be sure. Part of him didn't want to know. He wasn't ready to take responsibility for her pain, too.
Les turned over noisily. It drew the attention of all three waking members of the party, snapping them from their respective thought prisons.
Aia slowly reached for her backpack. The way she fumbled through her bag's contents reminded Teveres of his grandmother, whose arthritis destroyed the joints in her hands. To ignore it was selfish. If he was going to change the way things were going, he had to abandon that kind of selfishness. He pushed away the guilt and the hurt, and tried to focus on what he could change.
Is there anything I can do? He asked.
He could tell she heard him by the way she paused mid-rummage. She frowned, withdrawing one of her healing salves and a small leather kit. Hands shaking weakly in the darkness, she began threading a needle.
I need to fix your leg, she finally responded.
He covered the wound self-consciously. It's fine.
It's not fine. It'll get infected, and I can't use my... abilities... again tonight. Has to be done the old fashioned away. Needle threaded, she scooted towards him with a bottle of clear liquid in one hand. She motioned impatiently at him. Pants down.
You can't be serious. His eyes were wide.
You can take them off or I can cut them off. The way she looked at him made it clear that she was serious indeed.
Feeling not unlike a disobedient child, Teveres awkwardly undid his belt and wriggled his pants down just below the cut. Garren watched them with an air of skeptical amusement. Out of context, the scene would appear quite scandalous.
Beneath the bandage the wound was deep. Angry red inflammation had begun to encroach on the borders. She traced a finger along the skin, a healer's touch that made no demands. He swallowed, his face burning. A very selfish, very unwanted part of him wished that she would make some demands. He strategically shifted his undershorts, turning away from her.
It wasn't the time. Too much had happened. It made no sense to be attracted to a woman he met not a week ago, at this time, in this situation. It was the pressure coming at him from all sides that made him want her so much more; giving into his impulsivity was exactly the kind of release he coveted. He would curse himself aloud were she not sitting right next to him.
Any untoward thoughts were chased away by the clear liquid that Aia poured into his wound. He had never packed any part of his body with hot coals, but he imagined that it might feel very similar. Teveres grit his teeth and reduced his shriek to a more masculine groan, digging his fingers deep into the soft earth around him.
Slowly the burning segued to numbness. The concoction was laced with some form of anesthetic. By the time he could bear to look down at the injury Aia had already thrown a handful of stitches. Her handiwork was sobering.
Do you make clothes as well? he asked half-jokingly.
Hardly, she scoffed, intent on her work. I have the patience to sew flesh. I have no such patience for making clothes. Rather go naked than spend hours staring at fabric.
He grinned, riding the high of the day's shock to paradoxical giddiness. And what a shame that would be, he shot back.
/> Embarrassed, Aia rushed to finish the rest of her work. Though he was no clinician, Teveres could see that the weakness in her hands doubled from when she first began. She barely had the strength in her fingers to cinch the last knot. He waved her away, tightening it himself.
I...I don't know what you can do about your hands, but if I did I would do it. For you. His poorly-formed sentences made him cringe. Smooth. Do you have something for that?
In lieu of a response, Aia leaned away from him and began diligently applying a honey-like salve over her hands in small circles. Teveres inched closer and stole the jar from her grasp, heedless of her retaliatory glare. Taking her hand in his, he gently massaged the salve into her joints. Her breathing was ragged, as if every touch hurt her more than the last.
He sighed. I need to know if this is my fault.
Fault?
Something happened in the temple. Everyone in that library should have died... including you.
Her eyes flickered up to look at Sp tiedhim, stone-cold. Yes, I know.
It had to be you.
She shrugged.
How? he demanded, his fingers pausing over hers.
What you do... is incredible. Painful. Horrible. She glanced at the flames. It's like being consumed by fire without heat, ripping a soul from the body, every connection to reality torn and broken. I can't even describe it in words. I couldn't do what you do if I tried. But stopping it... protecting myself, and Les and Garren, it was like holding back the wind. I kept us in this world because if I didn't I would have been swept away forever.
It hurt you.
Gods of stone, how could it not? I never knew there could be... that someone could... cause something like that.
I'm... he bit his lip, a stab in his heart at the confirmation that her agony was his doing. I'm so sorry.
Don't be, not after what you had to do. You have nothing to be sorry for.
Sure. Of course. He snorted dismissively, returning to his task. She winced when he switched wrists, applying the medicine to her other hand.
She paused their conversation only a moment before continuing on. I mean that. I know that your choice was meant in mercy. You didn't want it to grow up in this world. I wouldn't want that for anyone either.
For an instant he hated her for making him remember. Killing the life inside Veni was the best choice he could make, and if he were to honest with himself, it relieved him. He had no business being a father. And yet... that he had to make such a choice, and that his actions deeply wounded Veni, disgusted him.
Drei would die one day, slowly, by his hand. It was already decided.
I also know it wasn't an easy choice, Aia continued. So I should say thank you...for not choosing me.
Drawn away from his homicidal ideations, Teveres's gaze entangled with Aia's. Do you honestly believe I ever could have chosen you?
She pulled her hands away, physically and psychically withdrawing. The abrupt loss of contact left a hole in him. I think we should be more concerned with Nivenea and less concerned with ourselves.
She was right. She was usually right. She was not worldly or eloquent, but she was smart, and selfless, and a thousand other things he wished he could be.
There was a soft rustle of fabric while Garren packed up his gear. He threw on his Sthran>
cloak and tossed his backpack over one shoulder. He shrugged and gave a curt nod to each of them. "Goodbye." Teveres gaped at Garren, his sudden declaration of departure unanticipated and unwelcome. Aia stood with difficulty, which gave Garren pause. He tilted his head curiously, looking down at her from across the fire. She seemed the size of a child in comparison.
"Where the hell are you going?" said Aia.
"If I go," Garren said patiently, "It would be best if you didn't know where."
His theatric demonstration of patience did not impress her. "You care about us. You wouldn't have risked so much if you didn't. You can't just walk away now. You can't be that person."
Garren's smile was fleeting. "I wish you well, Aiasjia of Seldat."
Aia's teeth were clenched, her expression one of raw desperation. She balled her hands into fists as if she was ready to hit him.
Though Teveres had faced life and death, openly confronting Garren set his blood racing through his veins as fast as the night his family was murdered. He had effectively made every wrong decision possible since that night. As Garren's boots crunched through the pine needles he could feel another opportunity to do right slipping away. He couldn't let Garren disappear. The man had kidnapped him and set a temple of people on fire, but he had also saved them from Drei and tried to make some kind of attempt at alerting the clergy to get out. Garren had proven to be much more than just a killer.
"Tell me one thing, before you go." Teveres said, his voice melting into the sound of the wind through the trees. He looped his thumbs through his belt to steady himself. "If you didn't do it for us and you didn't do it for Elseth's Lands, why did you do it at all?"
Garren turned slowly to look directly at Teveres, piercing blue eyes bright even in shadowed firelight. His body was held hard as clay, rooted in memories long past. He considered the question a long time before he spoke.
"Years ago I lived on the border. Men from my village went into Chall; they took a man's son in a raid. When the man went looking for blood, he mistook my husband for one of the Kaldari who raided the farm. My husband was murdered and our son burned alive in our home." Garren's features softened, the creases in his life-worn face disappearing for a moment, making him younger. "I joined the Coalition because no man should be forced to witness the death of his family. I wanted to prevent these things from happening. The choice Drei gave you, that was not mean to hurt you. It was mean to break you - and that...I won't accept that. She is no leader to me anymore."
"Then come with us," said Teveres, gaining strength with every word. "We can warn the council that Drei is coming."
The brazen proposition struck a familiar cord with Garren. He crossed his arms over his chest, and for the first time he looked upon Teveres as if he was an equal. "I think there are many things you do not know abou Snot feat Nivenea's clergy."
"I'm sure," Teveres offered meekly. "There are obviously a lot of things I have failed to consider. I can't change that."
Garren stripped off his gloves, edging closer to the Deldri. "Is this about revenge?"
"No." Teveres answered without thinking, to his own surprise. It couldn't be a lie because he hadn't planned it.
"It's not just about Nivenea," Aia spoke up, "If we can stop the conflict then... then maybe the Children of Elseth and the Kaldari can work together. War isn't a solution."
"I'm not a hero," said Garren. "I do what I want to do, I bow to no one. Your trust may be misplaced. You ask me for help, but I think you do not know what that means."
"You have strong principles. I don't understand them yet, but I like that you aren't like all the rest of them," Teveres replied.
"And what are your principles, Teveres?"
The use of his name was jarring, the inquiry about his principles even more so. Did he have principles? Didn't principles require a belief in something beyond himself?
"I'm still working on that," he said. "I just know that I can't give up now."
Garren allowed a satisfied smile, leaning back on his heels comfortably. "You desire redemption."
"I..." Teveres laughed, "I don't know if that exists."
Garren presented his scarred, mottled hand palm-up and made a fist, the Kaldari social convention symbolizing solidarity. "Then we will find out together."
Teveres looked over at Aia, who was awash with relief. A brief smile graced her lips. Teveres nodded decidedly and took a long breath. Even though everything that happened since Nivenea was beyond wrecked, he started in Ilvan alone, and ended up in Torvid's Rest with people he might be able to call friends. For the shambles that was his existence, he felt the dim song of hope in the distance. Mirage or reality,
> he had to hold on to that hope.
"You should sleep," Garren's tone was serious. "I will wake the Baron for watch later. We will talk in the morning."
Aia and Teveres obediently settled down in their respective bedrolls. Teveres was about to sink into meditation, far from the pain of the day. Aia's voice slipped in with his own thoughts just as he reached the edge of solitude.
I choose to be here of my own free will. No one forces me to stay. Remember that.
Though her words of comfort eased him into sleep, in his dreams he heard nothing but the unspoken screams of the priests he killed that day, and the cries of a child who would never see light.
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Chapter 11
"High Priest, what do you want us to do with him?"
Telani, Baron of the Healers Guild, stood between two female Justices, each with a bar of kelspar in hand. His brown hair hung in strings over his face, bound by the sweat of struggle. With his hands manacled behind his back his shoulders were hunched; he craned his neck upwards in defiance, dark eyes ablaze. His aristocratic features were marred by a deep cut from the corner of his left eye to his mouth, the blood and swollen tissue blocking his vision.
Leniq rested his hands in his lap, leaning back in his chair. The whitestone walls shimmered silver in the light of the three candles on his desk, their shadowy light preferable to the harsh whiteness of kelspar lamps. His office, windowless home to his rather stately desk and flanking bookshelves, was immaculate even with the flurry of papers he received over the last few weeks. Most of the documents were from the various outlying cities demanding a hearing from the Divine Council. Unfortunately for them, the Council was scattered to the sacred winds. Only Leniq and two other members remained in Nivenea.
What to do, what to do?
"Take him below. We will see if he will cooperate in time," Leniq answered his guards.
"You can't," Telani rasped as the guards reached out to take his arms. "What is this, Leniq? What are you up to?"
Tragedy (Forsaken Lands) Page 16