He had to be cold standing there in plain clothes. She was cold, and she was bundled up in her fur-lined cloak. If he was, he didn't show it in the slightest.
"You've impressed Kyren," she ventured hesitantly, "He thinks you're one ripe asshole."
"I don't respond well to competition." The twitch of one corner of his mouth was the only emotional signal he gave her.
The implication behind his statement sent even her thoughts stammering. "What...do you mean by that?"
"The two of you are close."
She was about ready to punch that look off his face. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes. We've been friends for a long time."
"Friends?"
"Yes, Kyren and I are friends." She was beginning to get annoyed. "Are you trying to say something here, or are you just being difficult?"
His already unreadable expression was further obscured by darkness. His weight did not shift to acknowledge that she had spoken.
"The others are asleep," he said simply.
"It's night time and all. You should join them."
Freeing his hands from his pockets, he moved to position his body just inside her personal boundaries. She could feel the hum of his soul against hers, his breath forming silvery clouds just in front of her face.
"You know, a lot of things could go wrong tomorrow," he said.
"I know better than most what kinds of things can go wrong. I am a healer, you know."
He gave a deflated sigh and reached a hand out to her, his fingertips brushing her cheek. Blood rushed to meet his touch; her face would have been bright red in good light. She swallowed.
"Things could go wrong," he began again, "And I don't think I want to die knowing that I never told you how I feel."
Her heart thundered in her ears, laying chase to her racing thoughts. She searched his face with her eyes.
"Where is this coming from?" she said just above a whisper. "You're acting very strangely."
& align="justify">"I'm tired of dancing around the issue. You've known this for a while, and I'm fairly certain you feel... if not so much, at least something. You're beautiful."
"I'm... not..." she shivered, "I'm not somebody that people say that to. And this isn't you. You wouldn't-"
"I mean it in every way," he said quickly. "You're extraordinary. You're not like anyone else I've ever met. I didn't want to tell you with Veni, and just after Veni... there was never a good time. At this point there will never be a good time, so I'm saying it now. I want you."
His execution was awkward, pressured. The foreign expression he wore was one of vulnerability - something she had never seen in him. It frightened her. They had only one more night together before they went into Nivenea to find whatever was there, and by Kyren's description they might be walking into some kind of trap. Everything about the situation made her want to bolt from the shack.
The way his body was cut with his long lean muscles under delicious honey-colored skin made every word more difficult. She opened and closed her mouth silently; his eyes followed her lips. He was saying everything she wanted to hear. She couldn't bring herself to believe it.
"You want me now, the night before you think you might die? That doesn't have just a little bit to do with the fact that I'm the only woman here tonight?"
"What?" His hand withdrew. "No. Search my mind if you want. I'm telling you the truth, I swear. I care about you."
"Do you? If you were manipulating me, I don't know if I could tell."
"You could. You know that you could."
"You had a fiancé," she hissed, "A fiancé you made a child with. I healed her with my own two hands and it was hard not to notice how perfect she was. After being with a woman like that... you couldn't possibly pretend to want someone like me. I won't be anyone's end-of-the-world fuck. I'm not that woman."
"That's..." he ground his teeth angrily. Any tenderness he displayed before evaporated in an instant. "I don't even know if I ever loved Veni. She was the obvious choice, the only choice in Ilvan, and she was a good person but... she wasn't... you're not giving me a chance, here. This isn't about sex. Is it so hard to believe that I could -" Love you. The words visibly caught in his throat. "-could be interested in you."
"Actually, it is; or do you think I just forgot about the girl in Vail? You laid hands on someone else not two weeks ago, and now you think you can just move on to me? Do you really think that I have such a low opinion of myself?"
"She wasn't - that wasn't - skies and sisters, that had nothing to do with you. I thought we were past that."
"Past it?" There were hot tears in her eyes now, and she couldn't find a way to stop them. "Ever since I met you you've avoided ever making a play for me, like I wasn't good enough. You could have come to me if you really cared about me like you say you do, but you didn't. You picked up some girl you didn't even know. You paraded into the guesthouse with that... mark... like I shouldn't even notice. Like I really needed another reminder that I'm just an accessory in this whole mess."
"Accessory?" he scoffed, "Is that supposed to be amusing?"
"Nobody here needs me. I can't fight worth anything and I'm not all that brilliant. I'm along for the ride because you people need me to read minds now and again. Other than that, I'm dead weight."
"Do you hear yourself?" he lowered his voice urgently, stepping towards her. "You bring people back practically from the dead and hear the words that others refuse to speak. You're the most doggedly compassionate person I've ever met. You might have more power than the rest of the Deldri combined, and you still act like a humble farm girl. You're not, and you never were. Someone told you otherwise - maybe it was your mother, maybe someone else - but they were wrong. Have some confidence for once in your life."
Aia fumbled with her thoughts and her words. Nothing came. Anger, hurt, truth; it all melded into one.
He threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Forget everything I've said.
I made a mistake in Vail, because I wanted to feel something - anything - just for a minute, without worrying about hurting someone I cared for. Veni suffered because of me and I couldn't stand the idea of seeing you suffer too."
"I can make my own choices. I don't need you protecting me from whatever it is that you're so afraid of."
"Apparently I was deceiving myself anyway. You never really believed I was anything more than a murderer. How could you? It's what I am." He turned away abruptly, furious energy radiating off of him.
"I didn't say-"
She was cut short by the crack of his knuckles against the garage's wooden beams. She watched him walk away in stunned silence. Chloe nudged her tense shoulders cautiously.
She could still feel the faint trail his fingers left on her cheek. Wiping away tears that turned ice-cold in the night air, she looked to the sky.
Damn Kyren for being right, damn the world for falling apart, and damn herself for caring so much.
Chap ~="2si>
One of the benefits of taking second watch from Garren was the freedom to pace. Teveres circled Aia's home, the physical act of moving keeping him from damaging his knuckles any further. The stars were fading slowly from the sky, morning twilight bringing a subtle increase in the temperature. The frost on the grass crunched as he walked.
He hadn't slept at all. He felt raw and exposed, sensations that he was unaccustomed to. Privacy had been his protection for his entire life. Lifting that barrier just for a moment took courage; the resulting rejection stung. Veni couldn't accept him the way he was, and neither could Aia. The only person who ever tried was already dead.
If it were not for the fact that he genuinely cared for Les and Garren, he would burn the entire hillside to ash. Shame was a feeling that he abjectly hated, and would do anything to expel it from his body. It had to be expressed somewhere, for keeping it inside would cause him to implode... so, he paced. It was far less satisfying than the high of destruction.
As he took his hundredth pass in front of
the house where it faced Nivenea, a flicker of light caught his attention from just down the path. He halted, retracting his life energy to quiet his presence to intruders. He perceived a group of presences - 5 of them - coming from several directions. Two traveled up the beaten path from Nivenea, while three more circled Aia's land to scale the hills.
Kill first, or talk first - those were his options. Their configuration and the status of at least 2 of them as Justices made him lean towards the former. The incident in Torvid's Rest was a prime example of a time when he should have killed first, should have taken the ruthless path. Blindly eliminating human lives went against everything that he tried to change about himself. It stole a piece of his humanity.
Two hundred yards away, now, and he could wait no longer. He would have to take them individually if he did not want to risk hurting his companions. He didn't even need to see them.
He concentrated, eyes closed, swaying with the wind. A dull tone drowned out everything around him except the souls. The ones in Aia's house were familiar, but the others were alien. They weren't people - he couldn't kill them if they were. They were just objects of pleasure.
The closest was the one behind the house, a Justice. Snap, one down, a flutter in his chest like new love. The two on the path - snap, snap - blissful dizziness in a sea of gray solitude. One of them moving faster, running. Snap, his lungs expanded unhindered, the elation so powerful that if he leapt from the hill he might be able to fly. The final energy -
He dodged just in time. A middle-aged, brown-skinned woman in a Justice's tunic and a black cloak was coming at him with a sword. She spun to catch hers to0">elf before the blade hit the grass.
Her speed was impressive. She went on the offense again, but without the intent to kill. Teveres noted the way she lunged, avoiding his neck and belly. She was looking to take him alive.
He dodged again, dagger free to deflect a near-grazing blow. His opponent was determined, singular in her goals. She would not be stopped. If he could let her escape alive, he would. She was a person with a face, so much more real than the faceless others.
When another furious attack drew blood across his forearm, he knew he had no choice. His power flared, and rather than dampen it as he normally would, he let it go. She fell lifeless to the ground.
He immediately stripped off his cloak, tossing it over the fence. The nirvana of killing still had him reeling, a relief from his anger and hurt which simultaneously made him ill with guilt. His fingers traced the cut on his arm, his own blood wetting his fingertips. The injury was superficial. Biting his lip and looking away, he dug his fingers into the wound, inhaling sharply through gritted teeth. The fresh pain cut through the haze, leaving him with unaltered reality.
Five corpses littered the property. Likely someone had been spying on the cottage waiting for just the right opportunity. Teveres made his way back into Aia's home, opening and shutting the door heedless of the noise. Raelle and Garren jolted awake at the sound.
Raelle took one look at the blood and went to get rags. Teveres watched her closely. She seemed lucid enough, but the blight-touched were known to occasionally display outbursts. He could not in good conscience treat her as he would anyone else.
"Who did this?" Garren asked.
Aia, Les and Kyren began to stir. Teveres shook his head. "Two Justices, at least, and three others I couldn't identify."
"Dead?"
"Yes, all of them."
"You did that by yourself?" Kyren croaked in a rusty, middle-of-sleep voice.
Teveres took the rags from Raelle with a nod of thanks, pressing them into the wound to staunch the bleeding. He made himself busy rifling through Aia's medical cupboards to find proper wound dressings. It was an excellent way to avoid looking at her, which he imagined she appreciated as well.
"You sound surprised," Teveres replied over his shoulder.
Kyren might have made a disparaging gesture, but Teveres didn't turn to look. He tugged a linen bandage from one of the top shelves. When he turned to sit at the table, Les was already beside him. The Baron stole the bandage and began applying it, sensing the emotional wall between Teveres and Aia.
"Then someone has been scouting us." Garren, looking naked with only a dagger at his waist, pulled his gear from under his cot. He threw Les's bag to him. "Ready your bow and get everyone fed."
"You're leaving now?" said Kyren.
"And so will you, if your gods gave you wisdom. This house is not safe."
"I won't be driven out of my house," Aia said sharply. "I can't let them take what's mine."
"Then you die here," Garren shrugged. "It is your choice."
Teveres watched from the corner of his eye as Aia grudgingly began readying herself. He winced when Les cinched the bandage down the rest of the way, digging into the cut. Les gave him a sympathetic glance.
"Go ahead," Teveres said softly, stretching his fingers.
It was a familiar routine, prepping the gear and eating a hasty, meager breakfast. For once they did not pack their bags with them; only essential weapons and supplies could accompany them into the city. Teveres gave Aia a wide berth while she pulled dusty vials from her cupboards.
"You should go to Delia's," Aia told Kyren. "Take Raelle; tell Heyd that I sent you. You should be safe there. The people who are looking for us will not be looking for you. Tell her... tell her I'm going to be okay."
Teveres kept his head down, pretending to be very interested in the dwindling contents of his backpack even as he kept an eye on the scene. Kyren wrapped a hand around Aia's wrist.
"I could come with you," said Kyren, "or you could come with me. You can still turn back."
Aia gave Kyren a sad smile. She pulled her hand away, tucking a syringe into her pants pocket. "I can't, and you know it. I'll come find you when we're done."
"How do you know that this Adreth person is still alive?"
"It doesn't matter if he is or not." Teveres finally spoke, folding his cloak around his body. "If he's dead, then all of this is for nothing anyway. Drei will take the city, or Leniq will destroy it. We have one shot at this, and we can't let it go."
Kyren scowled, but did not argue.
They were ready in a matter of minutes. Teveres scarfed down stale bread and a handful of dry fruit, his insides protesting after the killings. After a sleepless night, he needed to have something keeping him strong.
When they stepped out to depart, Kyren and Aia shared a quick hug. Aia gave Raelle another shot of the healing energy from the night before. Before they stepped on the trail, Kyren grabbed Teveres by the elbow. It was a feat of great willpower for Teveres to turn to the man calmly without breaking his hand.
"You really don't want to trouble me today, Healer," Teveres said slowly, low enough that the others could not hear as they walked ahead.
"I don't know what your problem is with me;" said Kyren, dark brown eyes steady, "and right now I really don't want to know. Just take care of her."
"She takes uotes care of herself."
"If she dies, I'm going to come looking for you."
"Good." Teveres didn't pause to analyze Kyren's puzzled look. He wrenched his arm free and trotted ahead to keep pace with Garren, leaving Kyren and Raelle behind.
* * *
Les slid his thumb over the smooth curve his bow. He crouched low to the ground, the spines of fallen evergreen needles nicking the skin on his knees. Garren had them all drawn close together, shoulder-to-shoulder. He motioned sharply with his eyes and his hands, giving silent instructions.
They were in spearing distance of two Justices guarding the eastern pedestrian gate. The wall around Nivenea was built high, all glistening whitestone and kelspar. They had gone over the layout of the gates in a brief discussion during the evening before, planning their approach. The only alternative to going through the main entrance of the University was to enter it through the tunnels connecting the city wall to the basement prison.
Suddenly, facing the reality of
fighting their way through Justices garrisoned inside the wall, going through the center of town sounded like a better idea.
Garren held up a hand, counting down from five. Teveres closed his eyes, while Les raised his bow. One week of training hardly seemed enough, but it was going to have to do. Les aimed for the young male Justice, his heart contracting so hard that it continuously punched him in the chest. When Garren's hand made a fist, Les exhaled, waited one heartbeat, and let go of the string.
Both Justices dropped. The arrow hit in the man's chest on the left side, to Les's surprise. A part of him rejoiced at his good work, even though it meant pain for the man with the arrow in his chest.
As soon as the Justices were down, Garren led them towards the wall at a run. Two more Justices appeared from the shadows, swords drawn and mouths open to yell. Garren's throwing knife and Teveres's ability silenced them, followed by Garren crouching beside the knifed Justice to additionally slit her throat. Les grimaced at the sight.
Garren held up a hand in pause. No shouting or footsteps were heard. To the left and right of them were wooden doors leading to the garrisons; in front of them was the large, locked metal gate opening to Nivenea's streets. In the quiet of the morning, no people saw them from the street beyond.
Garren and Teveres rifled through pockets until they found keys, using them to open the door to the right. Aia nodded, her voice whispering in Les's thoughts, No one nearby. The door was clear, at least for a short distance. They ducked inside quickly.
The corridor which opened up for them was long and strangely roomy, with tables and chairs in one corner. Garren blew past them with a quick stride. Aia followed close at Les's side, keeping a healthy distance between Teveres and herself.
Teveres had clearly done something ill-advised again. It was hard to pretend not to hear Aia and Teveres's raised voices from the garage the night before. Les gathered very little from what he'd heard, except that Aia was very, very displeased. It was exactly what Les had been trying to prevent since they left Vail. He only hoped that they could look past anger in the face of threats to all their lives.
Tragedy (Forsaken Lands) Page 25