She looked into his eyes as she stroked the length of him, saw the haze of desire that darkened his beautiful eyes, felt the stiffening of his body at the sensual assault.
“That’s dangerous,” he said, his voice filled with simmering tension.
“Yes,” she replied and stroked him again, this time with her fingers tightened slightly around him. She sensed that his control was fragile, and she wanted that control to break. She wanted him beyond control, wild with want.
She wanted all those seething emotions she’d felt in him since she’d arrived here to break free and consume him…consume her.
And as she stroked him a third time, that control snapped. With a muffled curse, he removed her hand from him and moved between her legs and entered her.
He didn’t ease in, but buried himself inside her, and they both froze, overwhelmed by the sensations of their joining.
Lilly was enflamed, lost to any other conscious thought as he filled her up. His mouth again sought hers, and as he kissed her, tears sprang to her eyes…tears of pleasure so intense she thought she might die.
He moved against her, slowly at first, easing in and out in an age-old rhythm that set Lilly’s nerve endings on fire. As he increased the pace, she matched him thrust for thrust as she once again began to climb toward the pinnacle of desire.
Faster and faster, in frenzied need, they clung to one another as outside the twilight deepened and cast dancing shadows through the loft.
Sensation whirled in her, taking her up…up…up to peaks never before realized, and then she was there, falling over the edge as he stiffened and cried out her name in sweet release.
Minutes passed and they remained unmoving, their bodies still locked together. Their breathing slowed…calmed, and Lilly’s heartbeat resumed a more normal pace.
Still, she didn’t move from his embrace. She wanted to remain locked in his arms forever. She wanted to lie in his arms through the night and watch the sunrise from his embrace.
“We should have done this years ago,” she said, finally breaking the silence.
He rolled to the side of her and wrapped a strand of her hair around his finger. “No, we shouldn’t have. We were too young to handle it then. It would have complicated things.”
His features were obscured by the deep shadows that had begun to claim the loft. “Maybe you’re right,” she agreed. “Although at the time I thought I was mature enough to handle anything.”
He smiled. “And that’s a sure sign that you were too immature.” He unwrapped her hair from his finger and instead trailed his hand down the side of her face.
She gazed at him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about your father?” she asked softly. Instantly she knew the question was a mistake.
Stress rolled toward her from him, and he sat up abruptly and swiped a hand through his hair. “Because I knew there was nothing you could do.”
“I could have told Aunt Clara,” she replied, and also rose to a sitting position.
In one graceful movement, he stood and grabbed his jeans. “It’s getting dark. You need to get back to the house.”
She reached out and picked up her bra, sorry she’d broken the mood, sorry she’d brought up the topic of his father once again. “What about you? Aren’t you coming back to the house?”
“I’ll go back later.” He pulled on his jeans.
“I’ll wait for you.”
“No,” he replied sharply. He grabbed her shorts and tossed them to her. “This was all a mistake, Lilly. It would have been a big mistake years ago, and it was a bigger mistake now.”
The shaft of pain that swept through her at his words surprised her. She didn’t want him deriding what they had just shared, not with the scent of him still clinging to her skin, not with the taste of him still in her mouth.
“If it was a mistake, it was an overwhelmingly pleasant one,” she said dryly. She quickly stepped into her panties, feeling naked and vulnerable where before she’d felt naked and beautiful.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, it was, but just because it felt good doesn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake. I don’t want or need a woman in my life. I don’t want or need anyone in my life.”
Lilly wanted to argue with him, to tell him that she’d never seen anyone who needed as much as he did, but she knew now was not the time or the place. He’d completely closed off from her. The shutters in his eyes were firmly in place, obscuring any emotion that might shine there.
“I’ll wait downstairs while you finish getting dressed,” he said and headed down the ladder to the barn below.
Lilly finished getting dressed and hurried down to where he waited next to their horses. His features were stony and grim, no hint of the softer man who had just made love to her.
It angered her just a little, how quickly he’d been able to shut her out. As he held her horse’s bridle, she mounted. “I’m sorry, Matthew, that your father was a mean, hateful bastard,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean you have to become one. The past is over and done, and you only have control over what you do with your future.”
She yelped in surprise as he gave her horse a sharp slap on the rump. The horse shot forward and she grabbed wildly for the reins and slowed the horse’s pace.
She’d gone only a short distance when she turned in the saddle and looked back at the barn.
Matthew stood in the shadows of night, staring after her, and never had she seen a man who looked so achingly alone.
“Thanks for meeting with me, Judd,” Matthew said to the dark-haired man seated across the table from him in the Inferno café.
Judd Stevens nodded, his green eyes sharp and assessing. “You said on the phone you’re having some problems out at the ranch. So what’s going on?”
Judd Stevens was an ex-FBI agent who had worked on occasion for Matthew’s sister as a private investigator. Matthew knew little about the man other than Johnna liked and trusted him, and that Judd had moved to Inferno several years ago after quitting the FBI.
Quickly Matthew told him about the destruction in the cabins and the lumber and supplies that had been stolen four days previous. “The latest incident took place yesterday,” he said. “One of the workers thought an opened bag of feed looked and smelled funny. It was funny all right, somebody had laced it with enough rat poison to kill any horse that might have eaten some of it.”
Judd’s eyes narrowed and he took a sip of his coffee. “Nasty stuff,” he finally said. “So what do you want from me?”
“I’m not sure,” Matthew admitted. “I don’t even know if the person responsible for all this is working at the ranch or not.”
“Have you had a beef with anyone? Know any reason why somebody would want to cause you grief?” Judd asked.
Matthew frowned. “Walter Tilley went to prison for transporting aliens and killing a social worker from the ranch. He was caught by us right before he was going to kill my brother, Mark, and his wife. Jacob Tilley, Walter’s son, just recently came to work for me.”
“And you think he might be getting revenge for his father?”
Matthew sighed and leaned back in the seat. “I don’t know. He seems genuinely appalled by his father’s crimes. He doesn’t seem to hold a grudge against us, but he’s the only one I can think of who might have a reason to cause us problems.”
Frustration surged up inside him, a frustration that had been building for days. “I figured I’d talk to you and see if you had any suggestions. We’re going to have guests arriving in two weeks, and I don’t want anything going on that might put any of them at risk.”
Judd took another sip of his coffee. “The first thing I would recommend you do is talk to a few of the men you trust, see if they’ve seen anyone acting suspicious, pay them extra to work extra hours to keep an eye on things.”
Matthew nodded. “I’ve already done that. I’ve got a couple of men who have been with me for years.”
“Other than that, I’m not sure there’s a whole
lot you can do. You might want to check the backgrounds of all the people who work for you,” Judd suggested. “I’m not sure you’ll find any answers, but you might get something that sends up a red flag.”
“Can you do that? Check backgrounds?”
Judd nodded. “Sure, if you get me the information. Get me copies of their job applications, and I’ll see what I can come up with. You might want to bring me the applications of anyone who has left your employ over the past couple of months also.”
“You know you’re probably going to find false information on a lot of those applications,” Matthew said. “Ranch hands are often transients, working for a few months, then moving on. They aren’t always completely honest when it comes to job applications.”
Judd smiled. “Then we’ll see who is lying and why.”
Matthew nodded and looked at his watch. “I’ve got to get out of here. I dropped my aunt at a doctor’s appointment and she should be about finished by now.” Matthew finished up his coffee and stood. “I’ll get those applications to you in the next day or two.”
A moment later Matthew stepped out of the café and headed down the sidewalk toward the doctor’s office. With each step he took, he steeled himself for seeing Lilly once again.
He’d seen little of her over the course of the past four days, had consciously kept physical distance between them. He left the house just after dawn and returned after dusk to find a plate of whatever she had cooked for dinner awaiting him.
He had no idea how she had spent her days. He had spent his trying to forget. He wanted to forget the taste of her mouth, so hot and sweet against his. He wanted to forget the silky heat of her skin, her breathy little moans and the exquisite pleasure of making love to her.
Every day he’d worked himself to exhaustion. The family had pulled together and there were only two guest cottages left to repaint. One of them would probably be done by the time they returned to the ranch this afternoon. When they’d left for the doctor’s appointment, Abby and Luke had already been painting.
Matthew had stayed away from the guest cottages and let his family take care of them. Instead, he had spent his days out at the old barn where Cal Simmon, the contractor in charge of the renovations, had begun work.
Matthew had offered his services as a laborer. He’d helped carry and tote, hammer and saw. He’d worked hard enough that each night he’d fallen into bed exhausted. And still he thought of Lilly, dreamed of her.
He entered the doctor’s office. Nobody sat behind the receptionist’s desk, and Lilly was the only person in the waiting room. Clad in a turquoise sun-dress that did dazzling things to her eyes, she looked up from the magazine she’d been reading and smiled at him.
“Did you get your business taken care of?” she asked as he sat in the chair next to hers.
He nodded, trying not to notice the familiar scent of her, fighting against a visceral response. He knew now that the scent she wore was strongest between her breasts and just beneath each of her ears. “Has anyone said how much longer Clara is going to be?” he asked.
“No, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.”
He stared at the door through which Clara would come, aware of Lilly’s gaze lingering on him. This was the first time they’d been alone since making love. He’d gone out of his way the past four days to make sure they didn’t have any time alone.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said softly.
“I’ve been busy,” he replied, not looking at her.
“No, it’s more than that.” She closed the magazine and set it on the coffee table in front of them. “You don’t have to worry, Matthew. Just because we made love doesn’t mean I’m going to somehow turn into a sappy, clinging woman desperate for a relationship with you. I know you don’t want to get married, and you know I don’t want to, either.”
“I don’t want to discuss it,” he replied stiffly.
“Tough,” she shot back.
He turned to look at her then. Her eyes sparked with irritation, and her chin was thrust upward like a pugnacious fighter. “I told you that it was a mistake.”
“Fine, it was a mistake, but you don’t have to punish me forever.”
“I’m not punishing you,” he scoffed. “I told you, I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy to share a simple meal with me? You’ve missed dinner every night this week.” She leaned toward him, enveloping him with her scent, enflaming him with her nearness. “What are you afraid of, Matthew? Afraid you might just want to repeat our mistake?”
He was saved from having to reply by Clara and Dr. Johnny Howerton exiting the examining rooms. As they entered, both Lilly and Matthew stood. Matthew offered his hand to the doctor.
“Johnny, good to see you again,” he said.
“You, too, Matthew.” They shook hands. “Well, she appears to be in pretty good health,” he said. “We did everything we could do here in the office, but I’ve scheduled some additional tests for next week at the hospital.”
“What kind of tests?” Lilly asked, a worry wrinkle creasing her forehead.
“I’d like to get an electrocardiogram and an echo-cardiogram on her. Neither test takes long, but at her age and with the little ‘spells’ she’s told me she’s had, I’d like the tests done just to be on the safe side.”
“A bunch of nonsense,” Clara said a moment later as they left the doctor’s office. “I’m perfectly healthy,” she exclaimed. “I just get a little dizzy every now and then. I’ve always been a little dizzy.”
“We’re still going to see to it that you get those tests,” Lilly said as she placed an arm around the old woman’s shoulders.
Clara nodded, then looked at Matthew. “Matthew, dear, would you mind stopping at the grocery store before we head back to the ranch? There are a few things I’d like to pick up.”
“You know you’re welcome to anything that is at the ranch. We have freezers full of meat and pantries filled with canned goods.”
She nodded. “And I thank you for that, but it’s enough that you’re allowing me to stay in the cottage rent-free. I insist on buying my own food.” Pride stiffened her back. “I like to think I’m taking care of myself at least a little bit.”
“Fine, we’ll stop by the grocery store,” he said curtly. What he wanted more than anything was to get back to the ranch and get some much-needed distance from Lilly. In just the brief time he’d spent with her today, renewed desire for her had reawakened with a vengeance.
Within minutes Matthew was parked in front of the grocery store, and Clara disappeared inside. Matthew got out of the car and walked to a bench in front of the store and sat down. A moment later, to his irritation, Lilly joined him there.
“Aunt Clara’s pride has taken quite a beating,” she said, and stretched her tanned, slender legs out before her.
Matthew didn’t reply. He focused his gaze toward the street as tension welled up inside him.
“Why don’t you call her Aunt Clara?”
“Excuse me?” Despite his reluctance, he turned to look at her. “What are you babbling about?”
His words seemed to do nothing to deter her. “Aunt Clara,” she replied. “You always refer to her as just Clara.”
“And your point?”
She shrugged. “Just curious.” Her gaze lingered on him. “You don’t like her very well, do you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s an old woman. She’s my aunt. Why shouldn’t I like her?” he countered.
“I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. You seem cold and distant with her.”
“Lilly, not everything is deep and psychological, and I think the biggest problem you have is that you think far too much.”
“You’re probably right,” she agreed easily. “I’ve always thought too much…especially about the people I care about. But you wouldn’t know about that, right?” There was an edge of sarcasm to her tone.
Matthew leaned his head back and drew a deep breath. The
woman was absolutely impossible. “Lilly, I don’t want to fight with you,” he said wearily.
“And I don’t want to fight with you,” she replied softly. She touched his arm, her eyes beseeching as she gazed at him. “I’m worried about you, Matthew. You seem so angry all the time.”
“Hell yes, I’m angry.” He stood, unable to sit another minute. “Somebody has spray-painted cottages, stolen property and tried to poison my horses. I’d say I have a right to be angry.”
“Yes, you do,” she replied and also stood. “As long as your anger is directed in the right place. What worries me is that I don’t think it is.”
Again she placed a hand on his arm and this time he grabbed it and held it away from him. He knew she had no idea that her simplest touch was torture for him, stirred a desire that suffocated him with need.
“You’re right, Lilly. I’m an angry man, and the best thing you can do is stay away from me. Stay the hell out of my head and out of my life.” He released her hand and walked back to the car.
He climbed into the driver’s seat, grateful that she hadn’t attempted to come after him, but had disappeared into the store.
Chapter 7
“Tell me about your father,” Lilly said to Johnna the next day. The two women had been working together for the past hour, finishing up the painting in the last guest cottage.
Johnna looked at her in surprise. “Why on earth would you want to know anything about him?”
Lilly shrugged and scratched the end of her nose with the handle of her paintbrush. “Matthew mentioned that he was difficult.”
“That’s a surprise. Matthew never talks about Father. And if he told you Father was difficult, then he managed to utter the understatement of the century.”
Johnna set her paintbrush down, stretched her arms overhead, then frowned at Lilly. “He was a mean man, Lilly. I can’t remember a day of my childhood that I wasn’t afraid. We were all afraid all the time. Of course, Matthew probably wasn’t as afraid as the rest of us. He was the good son, pouring father his drinks or getting his slippers. I don’t remember him getting the beatings the rest of us got.”
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