As I pressed forward, Zeke guided my dick inside him. As I went deeper, he held on until I was all the way inside. He turned his head briefly, then looked back at me as his eyes filled with the tears of his intense passion for me. At that moment I realized that as long as I had Zeke, I would be okay because nothing else in the world mattered to me more than him. I could make concessions on a lot of things but being without Zeke was not an option I would compromise on. Zeke and I made love all night long and it was the most beautiful night of my life, except for our first time together. That night I realized what I really had in him and knew I was the luckiest man in the whole world.
Zeke managed to take my mind off of Tony. It was decided that I wouldn’t go after him. If he came for Curtis or me then I would deal with him. It’s good that I took time to think about everything before exercising a knee-jerk reaction to all that happened. No one can ever really say for sure what goes on in the minds of some people like Tony. I guess in his mind he was doing things the only way he knew how. How can you be mad at someone for that? I guess I should have been happy that I never ended up with any drug felonies on my record.
The drug game was never my choice but being in it did prepare me to take care of myself. Fear is not something I possess. Knives, Guns, Fists, Threats, nothing scares me, well I take that back. The thought of losing Zeke or my mom, or anyone close to me scares me but I don’t fear anybody doing anything to me. I guess I am just afraid of things I can’t control.
I had come to expect the worse regarding the impact that my implication in Marlena’s murder would have on my career. Throwing in the towel just because I anticipated the worst was not an option. I owed it to myself, Zeke, and my true fans to fight for my career. To my surprise the scandal actually increased my popularity. Anyone who didn’t know who I was at first definitely knew who I was after Marlena’s murder. The publicity resulted in a sharp increase in public interest. Once people found out about my work, record sales doubled. I didn’t waste any time taking advantage of it either. I immediately released my next single and worked my ass off to put the finishing touches on my debut album. The first single debuted at number one on the billboard hot 100. The album includes collaborations with Ludacris, Erykah Badu, TI, and a few others. I also did a song for the soundtrack of Zeke’s new movie too, which has steadily been climbing the charts and is at number 3 currently.
It didn’t take long for mom and Curtis to rekindle that old flame. It was as if they’d never been apart. It was so obvious they were meant to be together. My mother was happier than I had ever seen her in my whole life. Seeing them happy made me happy. Though ironic how they came back into each other’s lives, the important thing is that they are back together. There are no words to explain my feelings. I finally felt what it was like to have a real family, my family.
Everything was back on track and going smoothly. After a month long cooling off period from Tony, I was surprised when he reached out to me and asked if he could come talk to us. He wasn’t his usual tyrannical self. He wasn’t barking orders at me and he wasn’t acting like he owned the world. He was very humble. Even his voice sounded different.
“Hello Jazz, please don’t hang up.”
“I’m not. What’s up?”
“I know you have every reason in the world to hate me. I really would like to sit down and just talk. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Well yeah we can talk, that’s cool. If I get any indication that things are going left, then I’m ending it because I am done with all of the fighting. It’s time out for all of that bullshit.”
“I agree.”
So I gave him directions to the house and waited for him to come over. When he got there he looked like he’d aged about 5 years in that one month. He was unshaven, and just looked tired. He asked that all of us, including Zeke listen to what he had to say.
“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t fix the terrible things I’ve done to all of you. For years I was convinced my way of dealing with things was the only way and the right way. It took losing my family to realize I’ve made a huge mistake and I am sorry. I am mostly sorry for what I’ve done to Curtis and his relationship with you Jazz. Nothing can get back the years that have been missed and it’s gonna be on my conscience forever. I’ve had to fight for each and every thing I’ve ever gotten in my life. It was the only way I knew to survive and I pushed all of you away from me in an effort to keep you. I pray that God will have mercy on my soul for all that I’ve done over the years.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about things over the past few weeks and I realized that you did things the only way you knew how. I’m not mad at you for that anymore. Although there are some things I would have changed, you did teach me a lot and I know that any situation I am faced with, I can handle it because of what you taught me.” I told him.
“I also decided that it was pointless to keep blaming you day after day. God lets things happen or not happen for a reason. There must be a reason we all had the lives we had. Looking at it all, I wouldn’t change it because my life made me the person I am and I love me. To change my life would be to change who I am.” I added.
“Jazz I’ll admit I didn’t understand your relationship because in my day, even if you thought about something like that you knew you’d better make damn sure it never slipped out. It just wasn’t the thing to do. Looking at you I understand it now. You love him, and he loves you. My problem was that although I wanted to see you and your mother happy, I was convinced I knew what would make you happy. I was determined that your happiness would only come about from following my plan. That was the wrong attitude for me to take.”
“I’m glad you realize all of this now. It’s never too late.” Mom said to Tony.
“Gloria I apologize for ever putting my hands on you. You haven’t been happy for a long time. I saw it but was determined to control everything and everyone. From the very beginning, I always knew in the back of your mind, you were still love with Curtis. I couldn’t stand it because it was one more thing he had that I resented. I have always hated the fact that he gave you what I never could, a child. I felt that even though he gave you a child, I had your love and I was prepared to go to war to hold on to it. The gleam in your eyes right now, lets me know I was nothing but a 20-year long interruption in a love affair that was destined to be.”
“I feel like I don’t even know you anymore Tony after all of these lies. You have lied to me for our whole marriage! ”
“I understand that I have a lot of bridge fixing to do but I just want to ask you Jazz, I would love to be a part of your life if you’ll let me. Will you? Contrary to the mistakes I’ve made out of ignorance and my selfish pride, I love you Jazz and your mother too. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve made some bad mistakes. Even if it takes you all some time to forgive me, please don’t shut me out. You are all I have. I ain’t got anybody else in the world. That’s why I tried to hold on the best way I knew how. It’ll kill me if you shut me out.” He said as tears streamed freely down his sad face.
“I need a minute to digest that. Do you realize that’s the first time in my life you have ever said you loved me? I know because it’s something I’ve always wanted to hear. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you Tony, no, correction…Dad. You have always been dad and there is no need to change it now. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to love me, and appreciate me, and support me …for me. Of course you can be a part of my life. I never wanted to shut you out of my life, but you gotta understand that my life includes Zeke. If you can’t accept that then that is on you.”
In response he just smiled and grabbed Zeke and I both in a big hug. He’d successfully convinced me he was serious about changing his ways. As long as someone is trying to right a wrong, they deserve a chance, don’t they? I think so because Zeke did it for me. I’d hate to think of where I’d be if he hadn’t given me a second chance.
Twenty
Ezekiel Nelson
It seems like on
ly yesterday that I was a struggling actor trying to break into the business. Every casting call, every audition, I was there. Not only have I made a name for myself but also I am well on my way to a full-scale blow up. The movie has been getting plenty of buzz and I’ve already begun receiving calls about other scripts just based on the “insider word of mouth”. The last 3 years have been some roller coaster ride and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. In my inner circle Valentine’s Day has come to hold a special significance for each of us. It seems all of our major life changing events tend to happen on or around Valentine’s Day. This year is no exception. The premier of my new movie is being held on Valentine’s Day. We all agreed that the theme this year should be New Beginnings.
Jazz just released a new single, which is doing wonderful on the charts. He was number one in Digital Downloads the week of release. That is a wonderful sign for the upcoming album. He did a lot of work before he went to jail. He recorded a few new songs and remixed some of what he had already. He and I did another song that is featured on the movie soundtrack. It’s hot, too! Our relationship has been smooth sailing since getting back together. It took being apart to make us really appreciate each other and put things in perspective.
Going to jail also served as a wakeup call to Jazz. His whole outlook on life changed. After Tony made amends with his family, Jazz seemed to be at peace. Although they had their differences, Jazz was finally able to let go of the past. He understood that Tony did things the only way he knew how and was able to forgive him. Curtis coming into his life had a positive effect. Jazz is happy to know that his mother is happy. All in all through the lies, deceit, betrayal, dare I say it but there was an undercurrent of love that served as a common thread.
The day finally arrived for the movie premier. Surprisingly I wasn’t nervous. About a week before, I was paranoid about whether or not the critics would give it a thumb’s up or give a bad review. With this being my first big role, reviews mean a lot. Everybody flew in the day before to meet me in Hollywood. I was already there doing some last minute promo work for the movie.
As I finished all of my last minute grooming, I began to wonder where Jazz was. He had left earlier in the day saying he had some important errands to run. I waited as long as I could for him to come back, but I had to leave so I wouldn’t be late my own movie premier. I hoped Jazz would be at Grauman’s when I got there but he was nowhere to be found. Jazz of all people knew how important that night was. I began to think something happened to him. At the last possible moment I got out of the limo and prepared to make my “red carpet” entrance. About halfway down the carpet, a group of reporters asked the usual interview questions. Who are you wearing? Are you excited? How do you feel about your newfound fame? The last reporter asked,
“Did you decide to attend tonight’s premier solo?”
“No, not tonight.”
“Well who might I ask is the lucky someone who gets to accompany the movie’s star?”
As soon as the reporter asked the question, I felt someone walk up behind me and grab my hand. Then I heard an unmistakable voice say, “That lucky person would be me.” Jazz said.
Then he suddenly grabbed me and gave me a passionate kiss with so much intensity I got weak in the knees. The numerous spectators were just as speechless as I was. He then took my hand in his and we strolled down the carpet as if nothing happened. It took a moment to come back to my senses. Jazz had basically just come out publicly on the red carpet. Little did I know there was another big surprise waiting for me later.
I decided to be “out” from the beginning of my career. I felt if it were revealed from the beginning people could go ahead and get over it and move on. It was also my strategy to beat the tabloids at their own game. That way I’d never have to worry down the line about somebody trying to turn my life into tabloid fodder. If everybody already knew, then there was no gossip value. Where there’s no gossip value, there’s no Tee!
Jazz on the other hand had been on guard watching his every move in order to protect his career in hip-hop and maintain his thug image. He soon found out how stressful and dark the “closet” can be sometimes. He’d told me once that he envied the freedom I enjoyed because of my honesty and he wished to be as brave as I was.
Many people think secrecy will be the best and easiest solution but find out otherwise. That secrecy walls you in and pretty soon the walls close in on you. So it actually ends up being the hardest solution because you can never let your guard down, be yourself, and enjoy your life. I’ve always been determined to live my life on my terms. Everyone has their own life and if everyone spent their time living their own life, they wouldn’t have time to try to live mine!
The movie received a great response and received a 2-minute standing ovation when it was over. I felt warm inside, like I’d finally “arrived”. After the screening, I performed a song from the movie and then Jazz and I did the song featured on the soundtrack. The performance was going great. I was in good voice. Then all of a sudden, the instrumental backing track abruptly stopped in the middle of the song, and all the lights went off. A couple of seconds later a lone spot light came on. The light was trained on Jazz as he knelt on the stage.
“Zeke I love you more than words can say. You have been my rock and my comfort. I can’t imagine going through this life without you by my side. So, umm, baby will you do me the honor of traveling by my side, committed, and united together on this journey called life? Cause Zeke, it don’t mean nothing if I can’t love you each and every step of the way. I need you.” He said as his eyes began to tear up a little.
I reached down and wiped a tear from his face, then took his hand as he stood.
“Jazz I belong with you, wherever you are, because my heart lies with you. So wherever this journey takes us, I’m right there with you all the way.”
Talk about being shocked! I couldn’t believe he’d done that. It was true to the theme of New Beginnings indeed. I was brought back to reality by the applause in response to his “proposal”. That might not have happened if we were anywhere else, but Hollywood is a different ball game altogether.
After the premier there was a cast after party that I really didn’t feel like attending but I had to. That’s the only thing about trying to make a successful career in entertainment you must seize every opportunity for exposure in the press. Jazz went to the party with me and we’d agreed we would make an early exit so we could have a private celebration of our own. Jazz and I went back to the hotel to meet up with Gloria, Curtis, Rachel, and Alton. We decided to celebrate New Beginnings over dinner at Mr. Chows.
“Jazz, you shocked all of us with your little moment. I was getting ready to get you. You had Zeke walking around here looking all sad and shit like he’d lost his best friend. You redeemed yourself though so I forgive you. You two are so obviously meant for each other. I hope you both have the best, fullest, most insanely happy life possible.” Alton said.
“Yeah I’m sorry about that Zeke. I ain’t mean to be so late but I had to get everything set up beforehand, ya know with the lighting man and then to have them to cut the backing track at the right time. You were surprised huh? I meant every word too Zeke. I love you so much. Damn look at me about to cry and shit.”
“I knew it had to be a good reason, Jazz. I love you too. I can’t wait to get back home either.”
“Well, I guess this is a perfect time to say something I’ve wanted to say. Gloria I am believer in things happening for a reason. I don’t always know what the reasons are, but I believe there is one for everything. 20 years ago someone tried to destroy the love between us. We may have been apart but my love has only grown stronger. I say it was a test and I passed. I still love you and now that God has answered my daily prayer to have you back in my life I refuse to ever let anyone or anything take me away ever again. Gloria, will you marry me and make our family complete?” Curtis proposed.
“Curtis, do you even have to ask? Of course I will.” She responded.
Rachel then decided to speak.
“All this love has me feeling warm inside. Congratulations to everybody. Alton, honey I never even thought such an “enchanted” life was possible but being with you has proven me so wrong. I know you had been praying and holding steadfast to your faith asking for the one thing you wanted so badly, a happy, loving family.”
Rachel then took a pause and reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope before she continued,
“Last week I got this and I think this is the perfect opportunity to show it to you.”
She handed the envelope to Alton. He slowly opened it with curiosity. Alton pulled out a sheet with colored images on it. He looked confused because he didn’t know what it was. Rachel then began to explain the piece of paper to him.
“Alton, you are looking at the first image of the expansion of your family.”
“What? Y-Y-Y-Yo-You- Um-Um- you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, that is an image of your son Alton!”
“Oh Rachel, baby I don’t know what to say.”
“Well Alton, don’t say anything just yet.” She said.
“Huh?”
She continued her explanation,
“This is our testimony that patience and faith yields abundant blessings because, this is your son, this is your son, and this is also your son.” She explained as she pointed to the three images.
“I am pregnant with triplets, three boys.” She explained.
Alton shouted an exuberant “Hallelujah!” and hugged his beautiful wife tightly as he smiled!
“Damn, Alton you did that!” Jazz remarked.
I couldn’t really form words to express my feelings. Alton’s good news was also my good news because it was the same as if it were happening for me. Actually it was happening for me, that’s just how closely bonded Alton and I are. We share each other’s trials, tribulations, and successes.
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