by Shen Hart
** **
The darkness enveloped me. A white porcelain mask danced before me. I tried to swat it away, to claw at it, to hit, but it remained just out of reach. It slowly twisted into a grotesque iteration of a human face, warped and broken. I turned and ran away from it, pushing my consciousness to wake my body and be free of the torment. It followed me, others popped up in front of me at every turn. Panic was beginning to reign as I couldn't wake. My mind couldn't reach my physical body. I couldn't return to wakefulness. The masks were surrounding me, each one cracked and warped into hideous renditions of human faces. My breath was becoming ragged. My heart pounded in my ears as desperation swept through me.
Finally, my mind snapped back to consciousness. I sat bolt upright with the damp sheets tangled around me. I looked around the room trying to remember where I was, panic still flooding my system as I clawed at the sheets, trying to free myself. I needed to move. I had to go. I wasn't safe. I wasn't home. Thoughts rushed into my mind. My breathing was short, sharp, and refused to fill my lungs. A strong arm wrapped around my shoulders, and three males came into the dark room. A familiar scent of pine forests on a snow-covered day filled my nostrils, and I began to breathe again. I was safe. The three males turned out to be my boys; they crowded around the bed with looks of worry etched onto their faces. They kept looking between Alex and me, trying to figure out what had happened.
Dan spoke first, of course it was him. "What happened? We heard screams?"
"And not the good kind." Ryan added in. I had to assume he was trying to lighten the mood.
Alex held me close to his chest and rested his chin on top of my head. "I'm not sure."
I took a deep breath and tried to steady my breathing. “It was just a stupid nightmare. There were masks, and I couldn’t escape. Just a nightmare, you don’t need to worry yourselves.”
The images refused to leave my mind. They were painted onto my mental landscape. All three of my aspects were buried deep within me, curled up shivering. Alex stroked my hair slowly and softly; the boys sat on the edge of the bed. I was beginning to feel safe. I was surrounded by people who would keep me safe. My breathing began to slow as I regained control.
Alex spoke quietly to the boys, "Her energies almost vanished for a little while. She wouldn't wake. I shook her, but she kept screaming. She eventually snapped to."
Dan said, "She mentioned masks. Was it that thing she mentioned seeing with the hellhound?"
Alex breathed deep. "I suspect so."
No more was said. The boys remained close for a little while, a comforting wall against the darkness. I'd never been afraid of the dark. I was a predator of the night. I danced with the shadows. That night I didn't dare close my eyes, I couldn't face it. When the sun rose, I shifted my tail and curled up, too exhausted to fight it any longer. Alex remained close and allowed the boys to do the same, as far as I'm aware. I dreamt of the wide expanse of pine forests, covered in deep snow. It was peaceful, idyllic, and safe.
When I woke properly, I found myself on fresh, clean bedding with Nik close by. He had tucked himself up by the wall, close to me without touching or intruding on my space too much. I stretched, feeling the tightness of my muscles, no doubt from the tension I'd carried throughout the nightmares. I still felt utterly exhausted and really quite pathetic. I'd allowed a stupid nightmare to take hold of me, to control me and reduce me to an incoherent mess. I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt entirely lost.
Nik looked up from his book, a small frown on his face. "The others have gone out for a run and then to check on the sirens. We didn’t want to leave you alone in case you had another nightmare. I volunteered to stay behind."
I nodded and curled myself back up again. After a moment he said, "You can talk to me, you know. I won’t judge you, and sometimes just talking helps."
I looked up into his deep brown eyes, so full of innocence and good intent. I wondered if those large calloused hands of his had ever taken a life. I had to doubt it. I took a deep breath and decided that I had nothing to lose. I hoped that perhaps allowing the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and words loose into the world would help remove them. That the act of releasing them would make me feel like myself again, rather than the paper-thin rendition of myself I felt like in that moment.
He put his book down and moved a little closer to me, carefully watching my every move, no doubt for fear of my lashing out. I felt bad at that. I'd never harmed him, and I didn't want him to feel that fear. That wasn't what I felt an alpha stood for or how they worked.
I looked down and allowed the words to just spill out. "I feel lost. I feel wretched, pathetic, weak, and entirely unworthy of the position of alpha. You are all slowly showing yourselves to be good boys and will form a good pack. I don't feel that..." I paused, trying to find the right words, "…that I deserve that. I was terrified by a worthless nightmare. I allowed it to control me. I haven't been an alpha in so long, and my understanding of bonds is jaded at best. You show fear towards me, which you should never feel around an alpha. I'm supposed to lead you, to keep you safe, happy, and well. For you to fear me shows that I have failed."
I laid my head down on my arms and looked up into his bewildered face. He lay down on the bed, bringing himself down to my level while he thought about his words. Then he said, "None of us is perfect. We're all learning, and while I do sometimes fear you, I know in the back of my mind that you would help me if I needed it. I've seen you helping Ryan. At the moment, you're clearly lost and prone to defending yourself; that's natural. You need to give us a chance, let us close, Alex included. You said that a pack has the tightest bonds of any creature. Let them form."
I thought through his words and ran my own back through my head. A pack's bonds are unbreakable. They are closer, stronger than anything else known or comprehended by other creatures. It's an alpha's place to lead the pack, to keep it safe, happy, and well. A pack is family and more. Each of us needed to trust the others beyond any shadow of doubt.
I offered him a weak smile. "Thank you."
"I haven't been in a pack before, but I've been watching you and Alex. There's clearly history there, but, if you'll pardon my bluntness, there is potential. I am happy to swear my life to both of you, as my alphas."
I sighed softly and gave over to my instincts. I moved forwards and rested my chin on his hand. It was a small movement, but a big gesture. I hated the Sisters, but they had given me a pack for a reason, and I had clearly demonstrated that I could not complete their tasks alone. That fact irritated me, but I accepted it and vowed to do the best with what I had.
I looked at Nik with fresh eyes after that conversation. There was more to him than I'd originally given credit him for, and I felt bad about that. We proceeded to discuss my situation with the Sisters, how and why I hated it, and how we would deal with the sirens. He had a good grasp of tactics and strategy, and adored metalwork. He was interesting, well-spoken, and intelligent. He was also big-hearted and kind to a fault, which I made a note to myself to keep an eye on. That wasn't a bad trait within the pack, but it could cause trouble outside of it. I couldn't risk him bending over backwards for someone else and potentially risking the rest of us because of it.
He was also a pretty good cook. The others were taking quite a while, so he threw together a quick snack. The simple pasta dish was beautifully balanced with the interesting mix of fresh herbs, slight citrus tang, and fresh juicy meat. His face lit up when he cooked. His dark brown eyes took on a new spark, and his lips couldn't help but spread into a smile. He seemed happy to be put into the position of pack cook and took some pleasure in explaining the use of the herbs to me. I was completely absorbed in the discussion about fresh versus dried herbs, their varying applications, and their use in dishes when the others walked in. They looked between us with a slightly wary air about them. They carried white bags filled with steaming, spicy-smelling food. I grinned and pulled out the plates while Alex quickly asked Nik how I was doing.
I shouted ove
r to him, from the kitchen, "I'm fine, thank you!"
Nik shrugged and smiled at Alex, who seemed reasonably satisfied with my response. Dan and Ryan watched me closely for a little bit, but soon settled down. Fortunately, sleep came easily that night and was peaceful. Things were beginning to fall into place, no thanks to the Sisters.
24
We were all sitting in a quiet little restaurant run by two delightful selkies, discussing how and when to set up the trap. It seemed that word had spread about us and what we were doing, which I was not amused about. A slim little pixie sidled up to us, her long tanned legs stretched out from beneath the pale blue sundress. I was happily admiring the scooping neckline and the way it highlighted her petite breasts when she pulled up a seat next to Dan.
Her green and gold eyes sparkled and her pale pink lips spread into a cheeky little smile before she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Are you the ones who're trying to stop the siren murders?"
We all looked around to each other before Alex said, "We are. How did you know?"
She giggled and covered her mouth with her dainty hand. I wondered what she was doing that night. "Then I have some news which will be of interest to you."
She looked around the group before leaning in a little closer. We all leaned in to meet her in the middle. "Another siren has been killed."
She gave a little gasp after she said it, adding a touch more drama to the news. Alex dragged his fingers through his hair, Ryan sighed and looked down, while Dan narrowed his eyes at the pixie. He said, "Where did you get that news?"
She wiggled her nose and smirked at him. "I have my sources. I’m more than just a pretty face, you know."
I raised an eyebrow and made hard eye contact with her. She pursed her lips and said, "News gets around my circles. The body should still be there if you want to check."
I looked to Alex and couldn't help but think that it could potentially be a trap. He sat up and asked for the check from the waitress.
"Show us."
She wriggled a little and sat up tall with her hands neatly tucked in her lap while she patiently waited for us to pay. She practically skipped with the bounce in her step as we followed her down the streets into the less desirable part of the city. The leafy trees gave way to overflowing dustbins, and the old cream-coloured stone shifted to blown grey-and-red bricks covered in graffiti. The paint peeled away from some of the doors, leaving the old cracked wood bare to the elements. There was a clear line between the clean, smooth stone, with its carefully manicured flowers and healthy trees, and the dirty, worn bricks. The tarmac was pitted and cracked. Bare mud sat in small patches next to the curb where no one had bothered to replant the grass. Bars sprouted up in front of the small, grubby windows with greying net curtains flanked by brown hiding the contents buried within.
The sun was beginning to set when we reached our final destination. The sinking sun cast a blood-red tone about the scene, which was messier than the previous one. Without a word spoken, we all spread out and circled around the body. Each of us slowly, quietly, and carefully reached out with our energies and inspected the surroundings. There was no one else, and once again, there wasn't a noise or a trace of another being. It was wiped entirely clean, which was incredibly odd.
A twisted, gnarled old tree with a scattering of leaves stood over her. Thorns adorned it’s thin, cracked branches between the dull green leaves. The ground was covered in years of dirt and grime, which now formed her final resting place.
Nik shifted his wolf slightly, as did Dan. They cast about trying to pick up a scent while Ryan joined us in looking at the body. Blood pooled all around her. It was beginning to dry, and all the warmth had left her. Her eyes remained open, staring into the distance, and a grimace was fixed upon her face. There was nothing of use or interest in her line of sight, just another metal dustbin, its contents scattered about the base without a care. Her throat bore the marks of strangulation with angry black bruises, and her dress was soaked with blood where angry slashes had torn open her stomach.
I looked to Alex trying to see if he had any ideas. "The lack of trace is like the previous one."
He nodded, and Ryan said, "He's clearly pissed off now. Do you think he knew about the trap? Did he hear about that?"
I wasn't sure. I couldn't be. There was no doubting that there was more anger there and the place was more exposed. The body was in the opening to a narrow alley which was only a few minutes’ walk from a busy industrial estate. The brick walls held no windows, they just towered over the alley making it dim and cool. He was growing less cautious, more desperate. He still hadn't removed any of the usual parts we’d have expected, though, and there was no sexual abuse.
Satisfied that we'd seen all we needed to, we stood. Dan jumped down out of the tree and gave a small shrug. He hadn’t found or seen anything of use. Ryan finished inspecting the black storm drain, which was surrounded by damp, foul-smelling sludge. None of us had found a thing. The pixie was long gone. I wondered about tracking her down for a night of fun, but I knew I had work to do. I couldn't afford the time away or the risk of exposing myself to someone else.
** **
Alex paced around the living room as he thought it all through. I hadn't seen something get to him like this before. Ryan had gone quiet, but he hadn't descended into the moping state he was in before. Dan was tucked up a corner texting on his phone (I had to assume he was chasing down leads), and Nik watched Alex pace.
I stood and placed my hand on his arm while looking up into his eyes. "Stop."
He sighed and sat down on the sofa next to me. "We should have moved more quickly."
I glared at him. "And what good is this doing us? How is expending our energy on pacing rather than planning our next move possibly the better option here?"
I hadn't meant to snap at him, but his pacing and attitude were frustrating me. I wasn't really affected by the death of the siren. It was irritating due to the fact that it felt like he was taunting us, but I didn't mourn the loss of her. Nik looked away from us, my tone apparently had more of an impact on him than I'd intended.
Alex, however, held my gaze. "We failed."
"Bullshit. One more siren dead is not a complete failure."
"Not a complete failure, no, but it remains unacceptable."
I'd forgotten how hard he was on himself during these things, not that I was usually much better.
He ground his teeth and forced himself to relax. "We do the trap tomorrow. He's becoming more angry, more aggressive, more open. That means he's more likely to strike again soon. We catch him while he's careless."
I looked at him and bared my teeth a little. I was not going to allow him to push me around. "There has to be a better method. It’s hit and miss. We didn’t exactly succeed with the last one, now did we."
He snarled and looked away from me before his nostrils flared and allowed a heavy breath to escape. "Fine. Then we chase down leads and get the information we need."
I nodded.
We both looked over to Dan, but he shook his head. "Nothing yet."
I forced myself to be calm and to think logically. Someone, somewhere, knew something about him that would help us track him down. He could not have been that careful. I was reminded of the completely blank canvas left at the kill sites. That was worth looking into. I tried to think who would best know about something like that. It would have to be a being with an intimate knowledge of high-level energy work to wipe everything completely clean like that. That left us with fae, pixies, and related. I smiled. The pixie could know something.
I looked to Dan. "You're with me. We're going to find that pixie."
He smiled. Alex frowned at me. "It's not the time for some threeway, Thalia".
I laughed softly, trying to stop myself from snarling at him again. "She knows energies, and she's a pixie. Therefore, she may have some information on the wiping of everything at the scenes."
A small smile broke out on his face. "Be carefu
l, then."
I smiled at him. "Always."
Once we were out on the roads, I turned to Dan, "Where do pixies hang out around here?"
He was prepared for me. "I'm pretty sure I know the bar we need."
We strode off into the night. Dan insisted on walking just a little too closely. I shrugged it off and assumed he was trying to be protective after my nightmare. It wasn't needed, but I didn't want to drive him away. We stopped in front of a door with faded blue, peeling paint and an array of territorial sigils and markers around it. Each of them had a faint pastel-shaded glow to them. The air around the door had a slight shimmer, and I found myself giggling with excitement. I hadn't played with these types in far too long.
I looked over to Dan. "Remember what we discussed about fae?"
He smiled and nodded. "I remember. I’ll try not to cause any trouble."
With that, we opened the door and walked down the narrow stone stairs and through the pitch-black curtain, where everything changed.
Two fae stood just in front of the archway that stood between us and the pounding music. They looked like inverse copies of each other, both with angular faces, each standing at around 5'10 with a lithe, slender figure. The one on the left had deeply tanned skin with white-blonde hair and striking pale green eyes. His white shirt was elegantly tailored and slipped into his slim-fit black trousers. An expectant smile sat on his thin lips. His partner on the right, however, was as pale as snow with deep red hair and almost black eyes. A bright grin sat upon his lips with his loose-fitting navy blue t-shirt and baggy jeans. I tilted my head and smiled at them. I loved the fae.
Dan remained behind me. He clenched and unclenched his fists, but managed to keep himself reasonably relaxed. The fae's energies sparked around them wildly leading to a small light show. I looked directly into the eyes of the dark skinned one, refusing to look away as he met my gaze. He flashed his sharp, pointed teeth and nodded for us to go in. I grinned and practically danced through the archway. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been in a fae club. I glanced back at Dan who looked disconcerted and slightly lost. I reached back and hooked my arm around him while I looked around with glee. The room was pitch black with a high domed ceiling and exposed brickwork all around. Small balls of ice-blue light hung up above everyone's heads. They occasionally emitted sparks of lightning that shot between them. The entire room was alive with electricity. It was hard not to get lost in the wonderful buzz of it all.