He killed a kid, I thought. No! He killed a little girl.
The thing that used to be Andrew held her in his arms and chewed at her steaming guts as if she was a freshly baked cherry pie. No one moved. No one spoke. They all just stared on in horror.
The realization brought me back around like a splash of cold water to the face. We were all in danger. Were there others in the camp? Were we under attack? This was a disaster in every sense of the word, and it happened on my watch! I needed to control the situation fast. I bounded out in front of the crowd and held my hands up.
“Everyone needs to step back,” I commanded.
“Susan?” Felicity spoke in a broken voice just above a whisper. A single tear rolled down her face.
I turned my head for a split second, and saw zombie Andrew lift his head and growl at me like a mad dog. There was foam dripping out of a hole in his lip that he'd bitten through in a hurry to gulp down his hot meal. Before I could react, Felicity jumped toward me. I turned back to shield her from what I assumed was an attack, but she pushed me off of her as anger gleamed in her determined eyes. I heard the whoosh of my sword, as it was unsheathed from its case on my back by someone else. I fell off balance, and caught myself with one hand before I hit the ground. I turned back in time to see Felicity bringing my katana down in a sweeping motion across the monsters drooling face. She let out a soul-wrenching howl as she cut him down. His head fell open and he went limp and lifeless, the young girl in his arms rolling forward like a bag of spilled apples.
She's gone mad! She'll get herself bitten!
Panic shot through me. My soldiers were on us in seconds, weapons hot and ready for action. Felicity turned back to me, chest heaving, sweat dripping down her eyes. She stared at me with a mixture of anguish and fear. She held my stare like an accusation, blood dripping off my blade. She walked back to me and held the sword out. I took it gently, the tips of our fingers lingering for just a moment like a secret code letting me know we were going to be all right.
But we still need to talk, my eyes said. Once this is over.
“What the hell have you done?!!!”
Gavin, one of the Freedom Town Camp Council members ambled forward on his cane.
“You're supposed to protect us, not let the monsters in!”
Gavin was always looking to stir things up, then take advantage of the ensuing chaos. He was a master at it. In his previous life, before Z Day, he'd been a Senator for a short while before a scandal involving his secretary had left him disgraced and unable to carry on as the Family Value’s candidate. The way he carried himself, you'd never have known. Everything from the way he held his head to the tone of his voice suggested that Gavin was beyond reproach, as if he'd never stooped so low as to even tell a little white lie, much less sullied his reputation with worldly pitfalls.
He's like one of those television preachers they used to have, I thought. The kind that spoke in tongues and cast judgment on others before begging for money. The kind usually banished to the obscure cable channels back in the day.
Ever since I had been put in charge, I'd found myself locking horns with him. I felt the anger boiling inside me like a bubbling cauldron of hot acid. It was wrong that he was using the death of a small child to advance his own pursuit of power. I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but was buried under a barrage of scared and angry voices all talking at once…like a verbal avalanche of word vomit.
“That's Harmony Johnson. He killed little Harmony.”
“How did he get in here in the first place?”
“What are you doing to keep us safe?”
“What aren't you telling us?”
“Enough!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. The camp went silent. I noticed Felicity stiffen out of the corner of my eye. My throat stung from yelling so hard.
“First things first,” I said, putting on my official voice. “Soldiers, I want a full perimeter sweep now. Check all access points. I want a full report on how he got in. Go NOW!”
“Yes sir,” they said in unison. The soldiers moved off quickly, many of them looking happy to have an excuse to leave and be doing something productive instead of sitting around arguing. Every last one of them was a trained warrior with little patience for council meetings and politicking. They were right at home in the heat of battle, but their eyes went glassy dealing with the daily grind of camp interactions, especially when things devolved into pointless bickering.
“Now,” I said, turning back to folded arms and wild-eyed stares. “I need everyone to stay calm while we work on getting to the bottom of things. In the meantime, I want you all to go secure your homes. We'll meet back in ten minutes right here. Hopefully by then, we'll know exactly how this happened.”
I looked around, but no one moved at first. I realized they were waiting for me to tell them they could leave.
“Okay then, let's go,” I said, my voice softening.
With that they turned and shuffled away, their voices a murmuring chorus of anxiety and frustration. I turned to see Felicity hugging Harmony's sister, Janice. Jamie was there too, talking calmly to them. Felicity turned and hugged Jamie. I felt like the wind had been punched out of me. I saw red. I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I turned and stormed off back to our trailer. Halfway there she caught up with me.
“Wait,” Felicity said, grabbing my hand. “Wait for me, Xander!”
I turned and pulled free from her.
“Let go,” I said, feeling utterly betrayed.
“Why are you acting like this? Is this because I touched your sword without asking? I'll clean it. I promise.”
I couldn't let her know how jealous I was of Jamie. It would only make things worse, hearing her deny what I'd just witnessed with my own eyes. I was already having the worst morning of my life. I couldn't handle any more.
“I'm in charge.” I said, glaring at her. I turned and walked back into the musky trailer. Flies were now lazily zigzagging back and forth inside, having made their way into the cool shade when I ran out and forgot to close the door.
“So what?” Felicity charged in and got right in my face. “You wanted to be the one to kill your buddy Andrew? Is that it? You wanted to be the big hero?”
“That's not it at all,” I yelled back. “I don't care that you did it. I'm glad you did. It needed to be done.”
I took a rag and began cleaning the blade, anything to not look at her, to keep my hands busy. Felicity just stared at me, the anger seeping out of her. She looked confused.
She'd thought she bruised my ego by killing a man instead of letting me do it? She thought that's what this was all about? The hurt goes way deeper than that! Why can't she see the truth?
“Talk to me, Xander,” she said, sitting on the bed. “I'm sorry I yelled. What's going on?”
“This is a nightmare,” I replied, shifting gears. “I'm supposed to keep these people safe. Andrew was supposed to be protecting them, and instead he killed a little girl. What am I doing wrong?”
“It's not your fault,” Felicity cooed. “He was probably bitten outside, made his way home in denial, then turned after he passed the gates. If he concealed his wound, there would be no way to know he was infected until he did what he did this morning.”
“How could he?” I looked at her as I spoke. “How could he purposely do something like that, knowing he was hurting the people he loved the most?”
“I'm sure he just wasn't thinking,” said Felicity, still holding my accusing glare. “Most likely he didn't want to hurt anyone. He just didn't want to die alone. He wanted to go home after a long night and go to sleep and wake up and have it all be a bad dream.”
We stared at each other for a moment, and then she took me in her arms and gave me a hug. I felt like I could stay in that moment with her forever. I flirted with the idea of quitting my post right then and there, of taking Felicity away somewhere and living on our own. The idea brought a smile to my face and I felt the tension leave me, even th
ough I knew it was just a fantasy. A loud knock on the door brought me back to reality.
“Come in,” I said. Justin, the head of my guard, walked in and saluted as I stood up and faced him. “What's your report?”
“The grounds are secure, sir,” Justin barked.
“How did Andrew get inside after he was infected?”
“The guard at the gate said Andrew worked the night shift,” Justin explained. “He came in at daybreak, limping. Claimed he'd twisted his ankle. There were no visible marks, sir.”
I looked over at Felicity, and she nodded. Once again, she'd been right.
“Head back over to the schoolhouse and let everyone know that I am on my way,” I said. When he hesitated I added, “That's an order.” He saluted, and left without delay.
I turned back to Felicity.
“Looks like you called it,” I said, a feeling of heaviness settling back over me that went bone deep. “Well, better get this over with. We have a funeral to plan. It's going to be a long day and a longer night.”
“I know what you're going to do, but you can't.” Felicity stared at me with fear in her eyes. “You're going to volunteer to take the night shift. It's not safe, Xander.”
“That's exactly why I need to be out there,” I said. “How can I ask any of my men to go out there now if I'm not willing to?”
“These people need you,” Felicity roared. “They need you here and alive. I need you. You're a married man now, in case you forgot.”
“I'm not the one with the memory problem,” I spat back. “I'm sure I'd be doing you a favor if I went out there tonight and didn't come back. Then you two could just be together and no one would say anything.”
The words were out before I could stop them. The look on Felicity's face told me she was caught off guard. It was the last thing she had expected.
“What are you talking about?”
“I see how you are with him,” I said, my guts twisting in knots as the words bubbled out like gas coming up out of a tar pit.
“Who?”
“Jamie Friendly,” I sputtered. It felt good to get it out, even if there couldn't have been a worse time “That's what you want, isn't it? You don't have to pretend anymore.”
The look of surprise slipped off Felicity's face as she doubled over in genuine laughter.
“That's what this is all about? You think Jamie and me…? Oh Xander. Give me a little more credit.”
She was mocking me to my face. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I turned and marched out. She called after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. My head was swimming at the exchange we'd just had. It was more than I could handle. My feet seemed to move on their own, finding the path between trailers and tents, back to the front of the schoolhouse. A huge crowd had formed. The whole camp was there, including Gavin and the Council. Andrew’s corpse had been removed, and a blanket had been used to cover up Harmony's tiny, defiled body.
“Okay, listen up,” I yelled, pulling all eyes on me. “We've been able to ascertain how an infected colonist was able to get back into camp after being infected outside. Many of you knew and loved Andrew, just like I did. He was a good man and a good soldier, but he let his guard down and he got bitten. At some point last night Andrew made a terrible choice, the kind of awful decision many of us might have made under the same circumstances. Andrew decided to conceal his infection and return to camp.”
A wave of murmurs and gasps washed over the crowd. There were even some denials.
You're losing them, I thought. You need to keep on top of the story or things will spin out of control.
“We inspected his body and found confirmation that he'd been attacked during his guard shift last night,” I continued. “When asked why he was limping, Andrew lied and said he'd only sprained his ankle. He deceived us all. I'm sure he just wanted to be home one last time. Perhaps he was in a state of denial about his condition, about the unbearable future awaiting him, what that bite meant. Andrew was a good man. He would never have wanted to harm anyone, particularly a child.”
I looked at Felicity. She was fighting back tears. She didn't look upset at me anymore, just emotional from the day. I wondered what had changed since our argument. My eyes wandered over to Jamie Friendly. He was staring at Felicity with concern, but she wouldn't acknowledge him. An icy wall came down inside me, and I turned my attention back to the crowd.
“Andrew signed on to serve and to protect others. The monster that took Harmony away from us bore little resemblance to the man we'd all come to know and will truly miss. I want to assure you that we are as safe as we can possibly be under the circumstances of the new world we are living in. That being said, let this incident be a reminder of just what kind of danger we are facing.”
I looked around at the sad and tired faces looking in my direction. The last thing these people needed was another reminder, and I knew it.
“We must remain vigilant in our efforts to safeguard this camp from the dangers of the outside world,” I continued, turning and looking pointedly at several teens at the edges of the crowd who looked listless. “There will be a funeral service for Andrew and Harmony at the Church at one o'clock. Anyone who'd like to volunteer to help can stay behind.”
When I finished talking, the crowd broke up. Most of them walked away, while a small knot of friends and family surrounded Harmony's body and began moving her. Jamie Friendly walked over and stuck out his hand to me.
Has she talked to him already? I wondered.
I was shaking his hand before I knew what I was doing, and it made me sick to my stomach. More than anything I wanted to kick his feet out from underneath him and knock the wind out of his chest. The thought of it made me smirk, and I squeezed his hand tighter.
That would take him down a few notches, I thought.
“I'd like to help you,” Jamie said with a kind smile. “It's been a hard day for everyone.”
I hate the fact that the guy is always smiling at me, I thought, as a black cloud rolled over my mood. And would it kill him to put a shirt on when he's not working? What kind of arrogant idiot is always trying to show off his muscles? Big deal, pal. So you're in shape. So what?
I abruptly pulled my hand free.
“Fine,” I said gruffly. “We're going to need some help digging graves. You can put those muscles of yours to good work.”
“I'm glad to help in any way I can,” Jamie said, perking up a bit. He'd obviously mistaken my sarcasm for a compliment.
“Why don't you head on over to the church then,” I suggested, losing my patience with him. “Let them know I sent you over on orders and make them give you a shovel.”
“You got it,” he said in a pleasant voice. “Thanks.”
Thanks for what? I wondered.
The service was a somber affair. Neither the soldiers nor the townsfolk wanted to say anything nice about Andrew after what he had done. All his good deeds were washed away with the gruesome image of him feasting on a child, one of the most adored in the colony. She was supposed to be a pioneer, blazing a trail toward a new generation of survivors while keeping the best our civilization had to offer. Instead, she was now just another corpse. For a moment, it made me sad and the words got stuck in my throat. Then I thought about Andrew.
All his hopes and dreams were shattered too. To make matters worse he was also now the target of rage and scorn from every last man, woman, and child at Freedom Town. No one ever again would think about the way he used to smile and crack a joke to lighten the mood. No one would remember his easy ways again, how he always seemed to have an ear to listen to your problems when you really wanted to get them out, yet he never tried to offer you any unwanted advice. You'd have to drag a suggestion out of him. He wasn't there to try to push his own agenda. You always just felt better after unloading your worries on him, even though he didn't have a single answer to your problems. No one would remember how hard working and committed he was, how he always offered to pitch in just when you needed a
hand the most, which is what got him killed in the first place after volunteering for the night shift.
I'm the only one who had anything good to say about him, I thought. My words will be the last to mark his time in this living hell.
Harmony, on the other hand, got an outpouring of love befitting one of the most beloved children in the colony. The Freedom Town pastor, Craig Benson, was on hand to read quotes from the Bible. Felicity and Jamie both spoke, as her teachers, telling her father and sister what a great student Harmony had been, how full of promise. Harmony's sister, Janice, didn't cry. I thought that was strange. She just had a faraway look in her eyes, as if she was locked in a bad dream and was waiting to wake up from it. Her father, Stanley 'the Stone' Johnson, was unable to muster her stoicism and restraint. The man earned his nickname for being built like a pile of boulders. If there was physical labor to be done around the camp, he was involved in some way. It was disturbing to see this great heap of a man openly weep, tears streaming down his face and pleading sounds escaping his quivering lips.
When the services were over and the tiny, makeshift casket had been lowered into the ground, most of the people who came just milled about comforting one another. I needed a moment alone to think. A lot had happened in a short period of time. I always felt better when I was exercising. Working a routine cleared my mind faster than anything else. So I lit out and went behind the barn, katana in hand. I was going to warm up with some Tai Chi and move on to sword practice, but I never made it that far. Instead, I ran smack into Felicity in the arms of Jamie again, this time hidden away from prying eyes. A raw current of anger shot through me, freezing me in my tracks. Felicity pulled back and they held hands, staring into each other’s eyes.
“Thank you,” she said gently, the tenderness in her voice working my nerves to a high-pitched scream.
“For what?” Jamie asked. “It sounds like all I brought you was trouble.”
“For everything you've given me,” Felicity said earnestly. “I never would have made it through those first few weeks without you.”
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