“Sorry,” I said, feeling genuinely contrite. “I wasn't trying to rain on your parade.”
“We've got a few ideas about the best way to administer the antidote,” Apache told us. “We've been working on this for a while. At first we tried to vaporize the serum and simply let them inhale it.”
“Zombies would simply wander into it and absorb it through the lung and skin tissue,” Kaya continued, again looking excited to tell us what they'd been up to. “Only it didn't work. It was too simple; too good to be true.”
“Since then, we've been working on creating portable sized doses that can be mounted on arrows or set into blow darts,” Apache went on. “We've made great progress too. Just last week one of our farmers discovered a way to turn corn stalk into aerodynamic spike strips. We're still monkeying with them, but there is a good chance they will work. We haven't had the time to field test them.”
“The hope was to be able to knock them out cold first,” Kaya explained. “Once we've neutralized the threat, then teams will be able to move in to monitor the health and safety of the infected as the Ibogaine takes hold. We've even been working on making restraints and face masks to help prevent the chance of further contamination.”
That's what they were using to tranquilize the guards up at the base camp in Ojai, I thought, remembering the dart sticking out of Tank's neck. They were testing out the new delivery system.
“What about people who have already been turned?” I asked, trying to sound more inquisitive than judgmental. I wasn't looking to have my head bitten off again by Kaya. “I mean, I thought once we'd been treated the antidote wouldn't work on us again.”
“Yeah,” Kaya shrugged. “There are still flaws for sure. Not everyone is going to make it back. Still, we've got to try to do our part to end this nightmare and restore order to what's left of the world, for the sake of all living creatures.”
“How many can you turn at a time?” Felicity asked, speaking up at last. “I mean, judging by the amount of antidote you are able to make at one time, then administer, and adjusting for the time it takes to monitor the treated, how long would it take to really start seeing a difference?”
“If all goes well tomorrow with the harvest, I'd say we'll have enough to treat several thousand,” Kaya spoke, giving his best guess. “That includes the stockpiles we already have. From there on, several hundred at a time.”
“We thought the best plan would be to start locally, and then spread out,” Apache explained. “We'll have to go city by city, but it's possible we could have the entire state of California in a few years.”
“A few years?” Felicity said in shock. “That's a long time.”
“It's better than nothing at all,” Kaya reminded her. “We've got to start somewhere.”
“I agree with you,” Apache said kindly to Felicity. “I'd like to see things move faster as well. That's why it's so important that Moto do what he can to keep control over the base in Port Hueneme. With the help of the military, we might be able to lick this thing in under a year, maybe even less than six months. If, on the other hand, Franco has his way, it might never happen at all.”
I expected Felicity to flip out on him, but instead she bit her lip, looking lost in thought, an inner struggle raging in her heart as evidenced by the way she furrowed her brow.
“We can talk more tomorrow,” Apache said at last. “I'm sure you're bone tired by now. Let me take you to your home for the night. We made arrangements for you to stay near me. I'll wake you in the morning when it's time. I know you two have a lot to talk about.”
“Thanks,” I said. Felicity just nodded.
We said our goodbyes to Kaya and Tarunika, and Apache led us through a maze of tree roots, then up a spindly ladder made of branches and ropes, and back up to the platforms in the treetops. He pushed open a small wooden door set into a great tree, and bid us to enter. Inside, a pot of glowing coals warmed the room and gave off a gentle red glow. There was a large, soft-looking bed nearby covered in blankets. I fell on them face first, thrilled to have someplace comfortable to sleep once more. Unlike the creaky wooden shack back at Gold Strike City, the treetop bungalow was warm and wind free. Best of all, there was no one listening outside. I turned onto my back and watched Felicity as she walked over and sat down next to me. Truthfully, I was just waiting for her to start a fight. I was certain she had already prepared a long list of points and counterarguments to anything I had to say. Instead, she simply stared at her hands, fidgeting.
“What is it?” I asked at last, unable to stand the suspense any longer. “What are you thinking? You don't want me to go, do you?”
“I didn't at first,” she said, not looking up. “But now, to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel. What if they're right? What if Moto could mean the difference between this ending now or years from now, or maybe not even at all?”
“Just the thought of there being an end to the zombie plague is almost more than I can comprehend right now,” I admitted. “It's like we've been stuck in a waking nightmare for so long. I used to think the idea of a zombie coming to kill me was actually kinda silly, like stuff you'd tell kids that were Sam's age late at night to spook them out.”
“The zombies! Look out! They're coming to get you!” Felicity held her hands out in front of her and tried to make a scary face, but just ended up looking adorable to me, as always.
“Exactly,” I chuckled. “Now the idea of never running into another zombie again in my life seems, I don't know…,” I trailed off, lost in thought.
“Impossible?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I guess. Ironic isn't it?”
“It's definitely worth fighting for,” Felicity said softly. “But what am I going to do here if you go? All I'll be able to do from the minute that you are gone is worry. And no one will be able to tell me that it's okay, because I will know for sure that you are definitely in harm’s way.”
“I know,” I said, breaking eye contact. “I can't imagine how I'd feel if the roles were reversed.”
“I know I don't say it enough,” Felicity began, “but you are the love of my life. From the day I first met you...”
“You mean when you threatened to kill me with a shotgun,” I playfully teased, trying my best to lighten the mood.
“Honestly, Xander, I can't imagine a world without you in it. I'm not sure I would be able to survive the loss of you.”
I took her in my arms and held her tight. We didn't speak for a long time. I could feel her hot tears running down her face as I listened to the harmonious sounds of the bustling village outside, muffled by the thick, seamless walls. At last I pulled her onto my lap and began playing with her hair. She gazed at the hot coals, the red glow reflecting in her amazing eyes. After a long while I spoke again.
“You could always throw yourself into helping Kaya and the others,” I suggested. “Rather than feeling lost and out of place here without me. That way you'd be working to help bring about the end as much as me.”
“I was thinking the exact same thing,” she murmured. “The last thing I want to do is sit around with my dark thoughts and vivid imagination while you're gone. Plus the sooner the batches are ready, the sooner we can start returning things back to normal.”
I was glad to hear that she didn't plan on fighting me about leaving anymore. I also felt happy to know that if something were to happen to me she'd be safe in Xanadu, surrounded by people who would protect her at all costs. Apache was right. They could survive indefinitely inside their hidden paradise as long as no one found the way in. That meant that even if Moto and I failed there was still a shot at ending the zombie apocalypse once and for all. More than a shot, actually. We had an evolving plan with smart, good-hearted people at the center of it.
“I love you, Felicity Jane,” I whispered.
“I love you too,” she replied.
We sat in comfortable silence enjoying the moment of peace and safety and never wanting it to end. I drifted off to sleep at the soun
d of my wife's gentle snores.
Apache came and woke us bright and early, as promised. He guided us over to the bathing area near the waterfall where naked children ran in and out of the pool, splashing and laughing. We bathed in our underwear beneath the cresting waterfall, the sheer force of the water cleaning away grime and filth that had been caked on for days. If I've ever felt as clean, I don't remember it.
Breakfast consisted of an apple and a hot bowl of grain cereal with honey. It was delicious. We both ate quickly, trying not to think about what was coming next. Sam had come back by then, and was full of stories about what he'd seen in his absence. He spoke excitedly about secret caves and hiding spaces in the rocks, mountain trails leading to the top that zigzagged precariously along the walls of Xanadu, and a butterfly garden out past the Iboga patch where all you had to do is lie down in the soft, rich soil and wait for them to cover your unmoving body.
After less than an hour, Apache signaled that it was time for us to get going. I stood up and told Sam goodbye, reminding him to take care of Felicity and the others while I was gone. He assured me that he would do his best, saluting me, which made me laugh. At the last minute, Sam threw his arms around my waist and hugged me tight.
“Come back in one piece,” he begged.
“I will, Sam,” I said, feeling caught off guard by his sudden display of emotion. “I promise.”
Apache walked us out to the cave passage. Felicity and I held hands as we made our way through and out into the sparkling daylight. Outside Moto waited with Sonya, holding hands and laughing. It was good to see they'd worked out their issues as well. More than anything I wanted my brother to be happy, just as I was with Felicity.
“This is where we say goodbye for now,” Apache announced. “Moto will take you back to where his Humvee is hidden, and from there you should be able to easily reach the base again.”
“Thanks,” I said. “For everything.”
“You are welcome,” Apache said warmly. “I know for certain that you have the heart of a brave warrior. I've seen it, Xander, every single time we've met. You brother has it too. It's in your blood. You will be fine. Trust your heart. It will never lie to you.”
I didn't know what to say so I just stood there with my mouth open, nodding my head. Apache laughed and slapped me on the back to break the spell. Sonya came running over and pulled me into a tight hug. I expected Felicity to blow a gasket, but instead she began to softly cry.
“Take good care of each other,” Sonya said. “And don't forget, we'll be waiting back here for word from you. Don't leave us hanging.”
“We won't,” I promised, knowing well that we might not have a choice in the matter if things went wrong.
Sonya released me. Now it was Felicity's turn. She took both my hands in hers and stared deeply into my eyes.
“Come back safe to me,” Felicity bade me.
“I will, my love,” I said.
“You'd better,” she demanded. “Otherwise I will chase you into the afterlife and kick your butt!”
Moto fought back a laugh. I leaned over and gave Felicity a long kiss, hoping it wouldn't be my last.
“Come on, lover boy,” Moto teased. “We gotta hit the road.”
Felicity let go of my hands and walked over to Sonya, who immediately wrapped her arms around her. Moto playfully punched me in the shoulder. He turned and set off into the woods. I followed him, doing my best to fight off the urge to look back, because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Felicity would still be standing there watching me go, perhaps even long after I was gone, and that it would only make things harder.
Chapter Six
Within minutes we were deep into a thicket of trees, lost in another world of shadows and strangely indiscernible animal sounds as unseen critters scampered through the underbrush. It was eerie how quiet it was otherwise, how quickly we'd gone from one world into the next. Xanadu had a pleasant buzz to it – kids playing, adults working, women singing, a waterfall distantly churning – all of the sounds mixing together at once to make a steady heartbeat of a thriving organism. Out in the default world there was something far more sinister at work and I could feel it creeping in, like a chill that goes all the way to the bone.
It's all in your head, I thought. Don't let it get to you. Don't freak yourself out over nothing. Just keep your wits about you, and keep moving.
I thought about freshman English class and my teacher, Ms. Chupek, telling us about Persephone going between Earth and Hades. Weren't we doing the same thing? Leaving a paradise of sorts to return to a war-torn hellscape full of demons, some undead, and some disguised as living beings?
We didn't talk while we were in the woods. Moto stayed ahead of me a fair distance, following the mental map he'd created, heading back to where he'd left the vehicle. Eventually we emerged into a field of sunflowers in full bloom. Just past that we stumbled onto the Humvee, right where he'd left it. Despite being in too big of a hurry to make an effort to cover it, the vehicle showed no signs of being discovered. It started up right away and we pulled back out through the dirt path and onto the gravel covered farm road. Moto had a radio unit in the car that he turned on, hoping to pick up word that would tell him what was going on back at the base, but the only sound coming out of it was static.
We rode in silence for a while without seeing any signs of life. After a long time a bald, paunchy, middle-aged man in dirty overalls wandered out of the row of trees in the sprawling orchards. His eyes were completely white, as if they were covered by milky scabs. He had no shoes and his cracked feet were caked in mud. His exposed arms were notched with cuts and scrapes, freely bleeding pus. He was continually being driven on by mindless hunger. There was an open wound on the side of his neck that looked like a bite mark made by a ring of human teeth. Moto took great care to maneuver around the lunging zombie as the zom hobbled toward the front of the Humvee. He let out a sad wail of pure misery as we slid around him, the tires losing traction on the crunching gravel for a moment before Moto steered them in the direction of our skid, and calmly put us back in the middle of the road. I turned and looked behind me for a brief moment, watching the man begin to stumble in our direction, but he quickly disappeared into the cloud of dust we were spitting out.
I hate seeing how much they are suffering, I thought. It hurts me deep down inside...it hurts too much...it makes me want to turn away…and if I don’t, I feel I might just go crazy!
Even though I'd been turned back from the undead, and so had my brother, I'd continued to see the zombies as a threat to our safety and survival. I felt a hatred for what they could do, how quickly they could rob you of everything important in life. I guess I just thought that since the idea of returning everyone back to normal was a far-fetched fantasy, I began to see them not as people, but as the enemy once more. I'd slipped right back into the kind of thinking I had before I was bitten and brought back.
I never allowed myself to see them as people, I realized, guilt crashing over me and making my stomach turn. I was too scared of what it might mean to feel compassion for them.
Now that I knew there was a chance to help them, suddenly they didn't look the same to me. Instead of the normal revulsion I'd felt at running across a walking corpse with tattered clothes and peeling skin, I now felt overwhelming compassion for their plight, along with a heart-piercing sense of moral outrage that someone had done this to them, to us, to the whole world. I could no longer hide behind my rationalizations. It cut me to the core when I looked at the hungry zombie, seeing only the agonizing pain behind his mindless eyes.
“They don't look the same anymore,” Moto said thoughtfully, reading the look on my face like I was an open book. “Do they?”
“No, man,” I wholeheartedly agreed, trying to fight back an unexpected wave of tears.
I turned to look at Moto as he drove.
“Do you really think we can pull this off?” I asked. “Do you think it's possible to end all of this, and make things like t
hey were before?”
“I'm not sure things will ever be like they were before. But yeah, I believe if enough people decide to pitch in and work together, we can put an end to the worst plague the human race has ever seen. It's part of the human spirit, the will to survive, to adapt and change and go on. It's how we came to be at the top of the food chain in the first place, if you'll pardon the bad pun.”
“Har har,” I laughed sarcastically. He smiled.
I stared at him for a moment without saying a word.
“Something on your mind?” he quizzed me.
“I've asked you before about how you were turned,” I said, turning away and staring out the window. “And all you ever say is that you don't want to talk about it, or that it's not the right time. You're always too busy to get into it.”
“Guess I'm out of excuses now, huh?” Moto chuckled.
I turned back and glared at him.
“Why don't you want to talk about it? Why won't you tell me what happened?”
“It was stupid,” he said, looking embarrassed. “That's why. I made a dumb mistake and I nearly paid the ultimate price for it.”
“So tell me about,” I pushed. “I think I have a right to know...as your brother.”
“We were doing supply runs,” Moto sighed, looking deflated. “I had three guys with me in the Humvee. We were going store to store in a strip mall, knocking down walls and scavenging for useful supplies.”
“You mean like medicine or bullets?”
“Yeah,” he said quickly, “or water or canned goods. You know, anything that might come in handy. We were just off the freeway in Camarillo.”
“And you got attacked by zombies?” I asked.
“Not exactly,” he stopped me. “At least not at first anyway. We'd been going door to door for a little less than an hour, finding very little, to be honest. The day was kinda hot. The guys were goofing around. They'd peeled down to essentials at that point, just shirts and pants. They put down their weapons. We found a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label in the dry cleaner’s office, and began passing it around. I didn't want to come off as a hard boss, so I just let it slide. We thought we were out there all alone.”
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