“So you’re saying you’re okay with what you did?”
“Okay with it? No. I shouldn’t have given Evan up before knowing if I really could handle being a parent. I should have stood by Ashley and tried to be a dad, or at least helped her decide what would be best for the baby, whether it was us or not.”
“And now? Do you want to have a relationship with him?”
“Yes, of course. In fact, I recently learned Ashley’s parents turned away from their faith when she got pregnant and they haven’t raised Evan to know the Lord.”
A look of disapproval crossed her face. There, finally, was the judgment he expected.
“I want to change that,” he rushed on. “I’ve tried to change it. After I found out, I approached Ashley’s parents. They won’t let me have anything to do with Evan.”
“And so you gave up?”
He shoved his fingers into his hair in frustration. “What else am I supposed to do? I can’t go against their wishes and talk to Evan. That would be wrong for everyone.”
“Got some news for you,” Skyler said, charging into the room.
Noah wanted to ask Skyler to take a hike. To continue his discussion with Darcie and see, once and for all, how this changed things between them. But Darcie’s expression and last statement said it all. She couldn’t fathom how someone could act the way he had.
“This is a bad time.” Skyler backed to the doorway.
“No,” Noah said. “It’s fine. What do you have?”
“Two things.” Her gaze moved back and forth between the two of them before she cautiously stepped forward. “First, I finished my investigation into Mayte. She had gang affiliations, but I found no connection to the Nuevos so I doubt she’s involved in this situation.”
“That’s good news,” Darcie said, sounding sad.
“You don’t sound like you think so.”
“No, I...it’s good.” She forced a smile. “What’s the second thing?”
Skyler arched an eyebrow. “Not such good news, I’m afraid. Ramon Flores’s body has been found, too.”
“Let me guess,” Noah said. “Strangled.”
“Yes. He was found in his car. It was pushed into a ravine near a lake and a fisherman came upon it.”
“Is that all?” Darcie asked, looking exhausted by everything.
Skyler nodded.
“Then I think I’ll go to bed.” Darcie stood. “Thanks for your help, Skyler, but I’ve had enough bad news for the day. Hopefully when I wake up the Kerrs and whoever they hired to attack me will be in jail and all of this will be over.”
She let her gaze linger on Noah before she left the room, her expression still blank and unreadable.
“What happened to the happy Darcie we saw a few minutes ago?” Skyler asked Noah.
“She’ll be back after a good night’s rest,” he said and hoped that wishing for such a thing would make it a reality.
SIXTEEN
The next morning, Darcie wanted to go with Noah to the interrogation of Winnie’s sons. Of course, Noah said no. Darcie understood, but she’d thought the car ride would have been a perfect time for them to continue last night’s conversation. He’d have to listen to her and couldn’t walk away when she came near, like he’d been doing all morning.
She didn’t blame him for avoiding her. She’d let him down. Let him believe she thought badly of him. Well, actually, she had thought that way. Last night anyway. When he’d blurted out his story, all she could think about was her precious daughter and how she would do anything—anything!—to hold Haley again. She couldn’t fathom a person who would give up their child as easily as Noah had done.
But then this morning as she’d watched Isabel, Darcie realized how much better Isabel’s first years would have been if Mayte had recognized that she couldn’t care for Isabel and had either given custody to Pilar or put Isabel up for adoption. If Noah, as a teenage boy, not yet a man, hadn’t thought he could be a father, then he was probably right that he shouldn’t have been one.
She didn’t condone the way he handled it, the way he walked out on Ashley, but again, he was young. Naive. All she had to do was think of the things she’d done at nineteen and she could understand. Especially when it was perfectly clear how much he regretted it.
Plus, it didn’t mean he was that kind of man now. If he bailed when things got tough, he’d have been long gone a few days ago. But he’d stood by her side, giving everything, and even showing his willingness to give up his life. For her.
Now all she wanted to do was find a way to help him reconnect with his son because she could see how much he was hurting. He’d lost his son, just as she’d lost her daughter. The circumstances were different, but the emotion was the same.
“Watch me, Darcie, I can run,” Isabel called out as she slowly hobbled across the backyard toward the neighbor’s fence, likely chasing another hummingbird as she’d been doing all morning.
Darcie waved and smiled.
Finally, Isabel was having fun. Darcie had been doing her best to care for Isabel while Noah was at the precinct so Pilar could get some rest. Usually caring for Isabel was a breeze, but today had been a challenge. She grumbled about everything. Unusual behavior for the often-cheery child.
Darcie suspected Isabel was picking up on the tense atmosphere in the house. Maybe flashing back to her life with Mayte. They’d had to move around frequently then, too. And then there was Pilar. Her arm was healing well, but she’d been exhausted despite resting for hours on end. Darcie suspected the exhaustion was from trying to raise a rambunctious six-year-old in the later years of Pilar’s life. Darcie honestly didn’t know if Pilar was capable of managing the daily tasks of motherhood on a long-term basis.
And here Darcie stood worried for both of them. For Noah. For Winnie. She wouldn’t worry if she didn’t care so much. So, fine, she’d let herself become attached to them. All of them. Just like she’d gotten attached to her FRS teammates. It was no secret that she cared about them. She just didn’t know how much until yesterday’s shooting.
And Noah? How much had she let him in?
She shook her head and stepped across the yard. She’d put herself in the very position she’d said she’d never be in again and she had no idea what to do about it. Six years of self-protecting instincts told her that once this was all over, she should walk away from it all before she lost one of them.
But wouldn’t leaving them be just as bad as losing Haley? No. She’d know they were alive and well.
“You wouldn’t have to grieve,” she told herself when she knew it was a big fat lie. She’d grieve their absence in her life. And it would be her own fault—her choice to leave them behind.
“Darcie.” Isabel spun, her smile wide, her eyes alight with joy. “Hurry. Look it’s a puppy.”
A big fat lie, all right. She’d certainly grieve the loss of connection with Isabel, who was holding a wiggling furry white puppy on her lap. The puppy’s pink tongue lapped in an effort to connect with Isabel. She was giggling hard and Darcie’s heart lit with happiness.
She knelt by the pair and scratched the dog behind the ears. “Where’d you come from, little fella?”
Isabel pointed at a gap under the fence. “Can we keep him?”
“I’m sorry, but he probably belongs to the people next door.”
“Aw.” Isabel’s lower lip popped out. “I want him. He’s fun.”
“I know, sweetie, but we need to return him before his owner gets worried.” Darcie took the puppy and stood.
Tears formed in Isabel’s eyes, breaking Darcie’s heart. “C’mon, sweetie. Let’s go inside and we’ll find something fun to do while Archer takes the puppy home.”
She sniffled but let Darcie help her to her feet. “Can I carry the puppy?”
“Su
re,” Darcie said, though she knew the longer Isabel held the puppy the more she would want to keep him.
Just like the longer she spent with Noah, the more she wanted to keep him in her life, too.
Argh! Focus on something else.
She concentrated on getting Isabel up the steps to give the puppy to Archer so he could return it to the neighbors.
While he did, Darcie did her best to distract Isabel. “You said you’d like to learn to knit. Would you like to learn now?”
“No.” She looked down at her feet.
“How about we read a book?”
“No.”
“A game? We could play Chutes and Ladders,” Darcie said, mentioning one of Isabel’s favorite games.
“No.”
“What would you like to do?”
“Nothing.” Her lip came out again.
Darcie retrieved Chutes and Ladders and set it up in hopes of enticing Isabel to play. It soon worked and they’d started the game when Archer returned with the puppy in his arms and a bag filled with dog items.
“Puppy!” Isabel screamed and ran to him.
“You were supposed to return it,” Darcie said.
“I tried, but then I kept thinking about how happy it made Isabel so I asked the neighbor about maybe keeping him. He said the pup’s part of a purebred litter, but this little guy doesn’t have the markings necessary to sell as a purebred so he’ll be put up for adoption.”
“Can we ’dopt him?” Isabel asked.
“That would be up to your Abuelita,” Darcie replied and cast a scolding look at Archer for putting Pilar in this position.
“Maybe we can take him at the firehouse if she can’t.” Archer squatted next to Isabel. “I’m afraid I’ve only arranged to borrow the puppy while we stay here.”
“Does he have a name?” Isabel asked, ignoring Archer’s comment.
Archer shook his head.
Isabel stared nose-to-nose with the white fur ball.
“Woof,” she proclaimed seriously. “I’m going to call you Woof.”
“Woof, it is,” Archer said, laughing.
Darcie wished she could laugh, too. But once they caught her stalker, Woof would have to go back to the neighbor and Isabel would have grown quite fond of the puppy by then, her little heart breaking at the separation.
And Noah would go back to his life. Darcie imagined saying goodbye and knew without a doubt, she would be brokenhearted, too, but they would say goodbye.
* * *
“I’m hungry.” Isabel’s lower lip came out in a pout.
Darcie looked up from the book they were reading and peered outside, surprised to see the sun already setting behind the fence in vivid red splotches. She glanced at the clock to confirm it was around five. “Still an hour or so until dinner. Would you like a snack?”
“Yes, please!” Isabel’s mouth spilt in a gap-toothed grin as she flung her arms around Darcie’s neck. “Can I have cheese and crackers? That spotted cheese you gave me last night?”
“Cojack?’
“Yes.”
“Of course.” Darcie planted a kiss on Isabel’s cheek and started to rise, but Isabel held firm.
“I love you, Darcie. You are the bestest person, next to my Abuelita.” She planted a sloppy kiss on Darcie’s cheek.
The resistance Darcie had put up for months faded away and her heart soared with joy.
It was time to admit it. She was fully vested in Isabel and her future. She loved the little girl and wanted to have more of Isabel in her life. The joy in loving was worth the pain of loss. She got that now. She may have lost Haley, but she had years of memories. She’d never trade the pain of loss if it meant never having had Haley.
“Can Woof have cheese, too?” Isabel interrupted Darcie’s thoughts.
She smiled at Isabel. “He could have cheese, but it’s better if we give him a snack especially made for a puppy.”
“I’ll get one.” Isabel hobbled into the small kitchen in the daylight basement and rummaged through the bag of dog items from Archer.
Isabel had the snack in hand and charged past Darcie toward the patio door as she headed for the small basement kitchen.
“One treat only for Woof,” Darcie warned.
Isabel frowned.
“He could get an upset tummy if you give him too many treats.”
Isabel nodded sagely. “Just like me. I barf when I eat too much candy.” She slid open the door, letting in a biting wind.
“Put on your jacket, sweetie,” Darcie said, the simple task of reminding her to wear a coat precious in its own right.
By the time Darcie got to the counter, Isabel was wearing her coat and heading outside. Darcie retrieved the cheese and started humming as she cut long slices. Here was the peace she’d been missing. She felt like she had truly come to the other side of her grief.
She plated the cheese in the shape of a happy face, then circled it with crackers. She mixed a pitcher of juice and laid a place setting by the bar stools before going to get Isabel. Darcie peered through the glass door as Isabel limped around the corner of the house. Darcie couldn’t see Woof in the fading light so she suspected Isabel had gone in search of the rambunctious little pup.
Thinking about a way to keep Woof in Isabel’s life, Darcie grabbed her coat. Perhaps if Darcie adopted Woof, Isabel could come to visit. That would be a built-in excuse to see Isabel. But were occasional visits enough for Darcie? Not now that Darcie could see how important Isabel had become to her. She’d have to work out something regular with Pilar. After all, Pilar was struggling to care for Isabel and Darcie could help with that.
Humming again, Darcie headed outside. The wind cut through her coat and the dusky night suddenly felt ominous. She’d all but forgotten about her attacker, and that was something she couldn’t do. Not yet. Not until Noah came home and told them that the Kerr brothers confessed and her attacker was in custody.
A shiver claimed her body as she rounded the corner to see Isabel step through the upper gate. Woof was nowhere in sight. The gate clanked shut behind Isabel.
Memories of a car running Haley down in front of their home tightened Darcie’s heart and fear sent ice water flowing through her veins.
“Isabel, no,” Darcie called out and took off running. She scrambled up the incline, her feet slipping on the gravel path. She reached the gate. Her fingers were shaking and she fumbled with the latch.
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” she mumbled and finally managed to shove open the gate.
She spotted Isabel on the sidewalk down the street bending down to scoop up Woof. Both were safe, for now, but Darcie knew how a car could careen up the sidewalk in an instant and take a life. Darcie stepped into the yard to retrieve them.
An arm suddenly shot from behind the gate and hauled her into strong arms. She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped over her mouth.
“Scream or fight me and we take the kid, too.” She recognized the voice. Her attacker.
She panicked and kept struggling, grabbing at his hand. She found a bandana tied on his wrist. She might not be able to get away but she could drop it as a clue. She clawed it free and tossed it next to the fence.
“I mean it, lady,” he growled. “Keep it up and my partner takes the kid, too.”
Darcie couldn’t risk Isabel’s safety. Darcie went slack and her abductor dragged her in the opposite direction of Isabel. Darcie half wanted Isabel to look. To see her being hauled away so she could scream and draw Skyler’s or Archer’s attention. But then, not only would this creep take Isabel, but merely seeing this happen could also scar the little girl for life. Darcie wouldn’t wish that on the precious child.
Please don’t let Isabel look this way. Don’t let her see me.
Her abduc
tor kept going down the street. Homes sat dark along the way. The occupants were likely still at work and with the light fading fast, even if someone was home, she doubted they could see her. At the end of the block, a car pulled to the curb and the door opened. Another Latino male, wearing Nuevo gang colors, got out. He held a submachine gun. Fear pelted Darcie’s heart.
The urge to struggle was strong. She started to raise her arms.
No. Isabel’s life depends on your cooperation.
Haley depended on you, too. The thought came unbidden. She hadn’t been able to protect her own child from a deadly accident, but she could protect Isabel.
With a hand still clamped over her mouth, Darcie pulled in oxygen through her nose, not seeming to get enough to overcome her panic. Her abductor shoved her into the car. His hand came off her mouth and she gulped air.
“Remember the kid,” he warned and kept a firm hold on her wrist.
She expected the car would screech from the curb and roar down the road, but the driver eased away and moseyed out of the neighborhood. Likely so he wouldn’t draw attention.
Darcie heard Woof barking and Isabel giggling through the driver’s open window until the vehicle turned a corner. Isabel hadn’t seen her. She was safe.
Darcie sighed out a breath as fear chilled her insides. She was on her own now. All alone. No FRS to help her. No Noah standing tall by her side.
She had to step up her game. Figure out a way to free herself. Her life depended on it.
SEVENTEEN
Noah trailed the Kerr brothers as they departed from the central precinct. They’d admitted to nothing and though he and Judson had questioned the pair for hours, their lawyer had tangled each question until getting answers felt like pulling sticky taffy from a vat. So Noah hightailed out of the building and put himself in a position to follow them in hopes that they’d lead him to the Nuevos.
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