“I’ll come and help.”
“What!” Ashley thought she’d misheard him. “You’re kidding, right?”
He kissed the end of her nose. “It’s high time I met this horse of yours.”
“Okay,” she said, aware of the doubt in her voice. “If you’re sure.”
“And afterward, you and I, and Freckles of course, are invited to my mother’s for lunch.”
Ashley shook her head. “No, not that. I don’t think I’m ready to—”
“Nonsense.” He cut her protests short with a kiss that instantly distracted. “I’ve told her all about you, and she wants to get to know you.”
“But—”
“I’m sure you’ll like her, and besides, I want to show you off. I’ve had enough of hiding.”
“Well, I suppose, if that’s how you feel.” Ashley felt elated and, at the same time, terrified. What if she didn’t pass muster? “Matt, are you absolutely sure about this?”
“Sure I’m sure. Now come on lazy-bones, let’s go and sort that horse of yours.”
Two hours later, Ashley was freshly showered and had changed into clean jeans and a casual white top. She now sat beside Matt in his top-of-the-range Jaguar, plagued by nerves. Freckles regally occupied the backseat as Matt drove them to Lingfield.
“Stop worrying!” he said, removing one hand from the wheel and placing it on Ashley’s thigh. “She’s very easy going and will love you almost as much as I do. I guarantee it.”
Ashley screwed up her features. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“I know how her mind works.”
“Mothers don’t encourage women who entice their sons away from their families, Matt. It doesn’t work that way.”
He chuckled. “You don’t know my mother.”
He turned the car into a sweeping gravel drive, and a short time later, an old but fastidiously restored rambling farmhouse came into view. It was surrounded by open paddocks in all directions. Ashley gasped.
“Matt, it’s gorgeous! You grew up here?”
“Yeap, I guess I was pretty lucky.”
“And some.”
The house was surrounded on all sides by overflowing flower borders, and lawns that led to the obviously well-maintained paddocks she’d already noticed, enclosed by neatly painted post-and-rail fencing.
“How much land is there?”
“Over twenty acres. It’s currently the sole preserve of the four thoroughly indulged horses kept here. Oh, and a few of a neighbour’s sheep. Mother borrows them from time to time to clean up the paddocks.”
“Sensible lady.”
Matt rolled his eyes. “You have no idea.”
It was far grander than Ashley had anticipated. She was conscious of her casual clothing and hair, still damp from the shower. She wished now that she’d taken the time to do something with it, and to have dressed more carefully, too, even though Matt was as casually clothed as she was. Doting mothers probably didn’t apply the same standards to their sons as they did to that son’s home-wrecking girlfriend. Butterflies danced inside her stomach. She chewed her lower lip and winced. It was swollen from Matt’s protracted kisses. Worse, her face had suffered from prolonged proximity to his morning stubble. Ashley’s appearance would leave his mother in no doubt about how they’d occupied their recent hours. She flushed with less embarrassment than the memory deserved when she recalled that their activities had even extended into the hay barn at Lucius’s yard and, less surprisingly, to the shower when they returned to Ashley’s flat.
Matt gave her hand a final squeeze before the front door opened and the lady Ashley had met the day before walked toward them, hand extended in greeting. Freckles, unfettered by Ashley’s growing embarrassment, jumped from the car as soon as Matt opened the door and bounded up to her first, tail spiralling with excitement. Two wiry terriers tottered behind Mrs. Templeton, and Freckles wagged a good-natured greeting to them as well.
“Ah, there you are at last.” Mrs. Templeton kissed her son’s cheek, turned to Ashley, and greeted her in a similar fashion. “How nice to meet you again, my dear,” she said.
Her warmth and friendliness caused Ashley’s nerves to dissipate.
“Mrs. Templeton, I—”
“Oh, please, call me Sophie. Now come on into the house. I’m sure you could do with some coffee.” She linked her arm through Ashley’s and left Matt and the dogs to follow behind.
The sitting room was tastefully furnished with what Ashley recognized as quality antiques. There was an impressive brick fireplace, and the mantelshelf above it was littered with pictures of Matt’s sons. In all of them they were either alone or with their father. None, Ashley noticed, included their mother. The boys sported identical grins to their father, displaying perfectly even white teeth, the same curly thatches of brown hair and intelligent silver eyes. They had inherited few of their mother’s features. Ashley had never met either boy, nor had she seen any pictures of them before, so naturally she was curious.
“My grandchildren,” Sophie said, pride in her voice. “Now, let’s have our coffee in the conservatory. Best make the most of this unexpected sunshine. It helps to warm it.”
The conservatory was home to an abundance of plants climbing haphazardly in all directions. No attempt had been made to regiment them into any kind of order. The heady scent of jasmine competed with the sweeter, more discreet perfume given off by a range of miniature roses. Late begonias and freesias supplied a riot of colour and a splendid rubber plant reigned supreme in one corner, its upper branches spreading chaotically across the inside of the roof. Sunshine poured in through the glass ceiling and the door was open to admit a pleasant view of well-manicured lawns, dominated by an ornamental pond.
“It’s charming,” Ashley said. “I can see why you enjoy sitting in here.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Sophie poured coffee for them all from a splendid silver pot. “Now drink up, Matt, and then go away and shave that dreadful stubble off,” she said, smiling as she looked significantly in the direction of Ashley’s face. “I want to talk to Ashley on her own.”
“Evidently,” Matt said, chuckling. “I know when I’m not wanted.” He drained his cup, blew Ashley a kiss, and obediently left the room.
Sophie smiled at his retreating back whilst Ashley mentally prepared for a maternal grilling.
“It’s so much easier to talk without the men around, don’t you find?” Before Ashley could formulate a reply, Sophie forged on. “Now, tell me all about yourself. Matt tells me you’re a widow.”
“Yes, my husband died more than fifteen years ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. But you never remarried?”
“No.”
“Did you never want children?”
“Oh yes, I wanted them.” The pathos in her tone clearly struck a chord with the older woman, who reached forward to touch her hand. Ashley thought afterward that she’d sensed even then the beginnings of a strong bond forming between them. Perhaps that’s why she felt the need to explain that which she seldom mentioned to anyone. Matt was trusted with her secret, of course, as was Sandy. “I first met Jeremy by fighting with him,” she said, smiling.
Sophie’s eyebrows shot upward. “Now that does sound intriguing,” she said, refilling both their cups. “Do tell me more.”
“He was a flying instructor at Redhill Airport, and I was furious because he’d been doing low exercises in a helicopter over a field full of brood mares. I was so annoyed that I stormed into his office, intending to tell him precisely what I thought of him.” Ashley could still recall the scene as clearly as though it were yesterday. “The trouble was, he was so good-looking and so incredibly charming that it quite took the wind out of my sails. I wasn’t expecting an Adonis, but he was obviously used to the impression he made on women, and my hesitation allowed him to gain the upper hand. He promised very contritely to avoid the mares’ field in future, and so instead of giving him the tongue-lashing I’d rehearsed, I finished up
agreeing to have dinner with him.”
“Sounds very romantic.”
“It was, in many ways. He literally swept me off my feet and into his wretched helicopter.”
Sophie laughed. “Can’t blame him for that.”
“We were married a year later. Jerry had hoped to secure a pilot’s job with a major airline by then and was bitterly disappointed not to have managed it. It was his dream, you see. He was a man in a hurry to conquer the world, too impatient to handle delays well.”
“Did he get his job eventually?”
“Yes, a year after that, but by then I was twenty and anxious to start a family. Jerry wanted children, too, but he wasn’t as enthusiastic as me to have them immediately. He was more concerned with buying a bigger house because image was everything to him. He was an up-and-coming airline captain, and that had to be reflected by stylish living.”
“Sounds rather shallow, if you don’t mind my saying so.”
“What can I say?” Ashley spread her hands, feeling the need to defend her dead husband. “He was young and ambitious. He persuaded me to put off becoming pregnant.”
“That must have been difficult for you.” Sophie’s smile was full of sympathetic understanding. “It’s obvious to me, even now, how desperately you wanted to be a mother.”
“Well yes, but Jerry could be so persuasive. He made me feel selfish for holding him back in his career.”
Sophie tutted. “You were hardly doing that.”
“Anyway, against my better judgment, we purchased a barn of a place in Godstone and started restoring it. By then the family issue was becoming contentious. I was no longer willing to delay having a baby, even if it did mean giving up work. I didn’t want to be middle-aged before I became a parent, nor did I intend to be a working mother, relegating child care to a stranger.” Ashley shrugged. “It wasn’t a very modern ambition, I suppose, only wanting to be a wife and mother, but it would have been enough for me.”
“I know how you feel. It was enough for me, too.”
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” Ashley said, wondering if she’d been too candid. “I don’t tell many people because…well, because it’s too personal. I don’t suppose they’d see my point of view if I did, and anyway, why should I have to justify myself?”
“There’s no reason in the world why you should.” Sophie smiled. “And thank you for telling me. I shall guard your confidence well.” She clapped her hands. “Now, tell me what happened next.”
“I fell pregnant almost immediately, but Jerry wasn’t nearly as happy about it as I was. We’d overreached ourselves with the size of our mortgage, and to make ends meet, Jerry started moonlighting, flying trips for his old employers in his spare time. Golfers to Le Touquet, day trippers for lunch in France, stuff like that.” Ashley stared into the middle-distance, lost in the past. Sophie said nothing, waiting for her to collect herself. “It was one of those trips that killed him,” she said in a barely audible whisper. “He finished an early return run to Spain for his airline and then flew passengers from Redhill to France. He should have stayed overnight and brought them back the following day. Instead, he flew back to England when he’d already exceeded the number of hours he was permitted to fly in one day. He only did that because I’d persuaded him to come back and accompany me on a hospital appointment. His plane went down somewhere over the Channel,” she added bleakly. “No one survived, and it was my fault. I killed them all.”
“That’s just ridiculous!” Sophie said briskly. “You can’t be held responsible for his actions.”
“But I can, don’t you see? I insisted upon having a baby before he was ready for fatherhood. I was only twenty-one and still had plenty of time, but I was too selfish to wait. So I forced him into working when he knew he shouldn’t because we needed the money.”
“You didn’t force him into buying a house you couldn’t afford.”
“We could have afforded it if I’d carried on working.”
“But he knew you wanted a family. You’d agreed upon it.”
“Yes, but we could have waited longer. The shock of his death caused me to miscarry, and so I killed not only him and his passengers but my child as well.” Ashley stared at the older woman, twisting Matt’s ring round and round on her finger in some agitation as the past came streaming back to her. “And I can’t have any more.”
“I’m so sorry, my dear.”
“And now, when I see Eve flaunting her pregnancy and Matt agonizing about what he should do, it almost breaks my heart.” She flapped a hand in lieu of an apology. “Pregnancy is a very sensitive subject for me. He should have told me before,” she said, almost to herself. “He shouldn’t have let me find out like that.”
“No, he shouldn’t. I’m not trying to defend the indefensible, but Matt has a lot on his plate right now.” She smiled at Ashley. “He only recently told me about the baby. I’ve never seen him quite so desolate as he’s been over the past couple of weeks. I’m glad he finally decided to confide in me.” She paused. “About the baby and about you.”
“I was so afraid to meet you,” Ashley admitted. “I thought you’d hate me and blame me for the failure in Matt’s marriage.”
“Oh, my dear!” Sophie moved across and embraced Ashley. “You’re the best thing to happen to Matt in years.”
“Thank you.” Ashley wiped tears from her eyes.
“Anyway,” Sophie said briskly. “After what you’ve just told me, I can only begin to imagine how you felt when you saw Eve’s condition. What else were you supposed to think?”
“Yes, it felt like the ultimate betrayal.” Ashley offered Sophie a watery smile.
“He should have had the courage to confide in you immediately, and I told him as much in no uncertain terms.” She sighed. “Matt’s too much like his father. They were both ones for keeping their problems to themselves.” Sophie bestowed a transfiguring smile upon Ashley. “It gives me so much pleasure to see how happy you make him. He has given up a lot for the sake of his family’s needs, and it’s high time he thought about himself for a change.”
“Yes, I know. I didn’t intend to complicate his life by coming between him and his wife. Knowing how I feel about children, I hope you can at least believe that much.”
“My dear, his marriage has been over for years.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t approve of women who have associations with married men, especially when they work with them.” Ashley struggled to articulate her thoughts. Having the opportunity to discuss her position with someone else at last, she was determined to give it a full airing. Perhaps that way she’d understand it better herself. “I’m sorry if that sounded prudish, but I have strong principles in that respect. Matt and I worked together so closely for so long that it was impossible not to get to know him better.” Ashley sighed and smiled simultaneously. “He seemed a little lost, very obviously not happy and, well…” She shrugged. “I suppose it was inevitable and, in spite of my reservations, I just didn’t have the strength to prevent it.”
“It was meant to be.”
“Exactly! It felt so right that it couldn’t possibly be tawdry and self-indulgent, as I’d always imagined such liaisons to be. It was as though I’d been waiting for him all my life.” She let out an embarrassed little laugh. “Does that sound like sentimental rot?”
“Not at all. Besides, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’ve watched Matt tearing himself apart over the years, trying to be all things to all people. He tried to live up to his father’s expectations, and to be a decent husband and father in his own right. If you want the truth, he bent over backward to support a scheming woman who wasn’t worthy of him.”
Ashley blinked back her surprise at Sophie’s harsh words. “And yet he stayed with her.”
“Yes, he did. I wish now that I’d been firmer and insisted upon Matt finishing his legal degree, but things weren’t straightforward at the time. Anyway,” she said, appearing to shake off her in
trospective mood, “hindsight is vastly overrated, in my opinion.”
A freshly shaven Matt stood in the doorway, watching them chatting away as though they’d known one another for years.
“What are you two scheming about?” he asked, smiling and plonking himself on the arm of Ashley’s chair.
“Like we’re going to tell you,” Ashley said, laughing with Sophie.
“Why don’t you show Ashley the horses,” Sophie said, “whilst I see to lunch.”
“Oh, can’t I help you?”
“Certainly not. Now, off you go, both of you.”
Out in the grounds, Matt took Ashley’s hand and led her toward the paddocks. Before they even reached them, his arm had snaked its way around her waist. He pulled her toward him so forcefully that her body crashed against his. Ashley responded to his kiss with passionate fervour, vaguely ashamed that her body could still react with such enthusiasm after their long night of lovemaking.
“Still worried about meeting my mother?” he asked when he finally broke the kiss.
“Matt, she’s lovely. You should have said.”
He chuckled. “I seem to recall that I did. Several times.”
“Well, you can’t have been very convincing.”
The horses trotted up to the fence. Matt produced a packet of mints and distributed them.
“They’re all magnificent,” Ashley said, casting an expert eye over them as they jostled Matt for the mints. “Which one is yours?”
“The black with the white blaze. He’s getting on a bit now, aren’t you, Satan,” he said, patting the horse’s neck. “He’s fifteen.”
Ashley rubbed his muzzle. “Still plenty of life left in him by the looks of things.”
“Oh yes.”
“What’s that building over there?” she asked, pointing to a structure beyond the line of modern loose boxes.
“A cottage,” he said. “I think it was originally planned as a groom’s residence. It’s been vacant for years. The boys loved playing in it when they were little.”
Soliman, Wendy - The Name of the Game (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Page 9