by Alice Shaw
“I still haven’t been to any of those restaurants,” I admitted. “But maybe I should. With you. Now.”
Holden took in a deep breath, thinking. “I don’t know. I mean, won’t it just make you feel annoyed?” he asked.
I shrugged. “It’s just a night out, Holden,” I said.
In a way, it’s what I needed the most. One single night out. Every hour, I felt a sense of dread. My past always seemed to haunt me, whether it was that cop Brady shoving his authority in my face, or whether it was my own subconscious having its way with my emotions.
“Well, I guess we can go,” Holden said.
Every time he talked, there was a timid waver to his voice. It drove me absolutely crazy with an aching desire. I reached out and touched his shoulder, definitely pushing my luck.
Somehow, I knew we both wanted the same thing. He never pulled away. He seemed to lean into my palm, body urging him to feel me.
I wanted to give it a little more time. I was starting to get the impression that he was someone special, someone who could offer me a lot more than a one-night stand.
Holden shifted his weight into me some more. He seemed to inhale softly. Was he in heat? Maybe. Maybe that’s all this was. Perhaps he didn’t care who was next to him. But I did.
I short smile curled around my mouth. What if we opened a restaurant together? Maybe we’d be the team of the century.
Holden looked up at me and said, “I’ve got a good idea. We can use the money I made today to pay for the food we eat at the restaurant. It makes more sense that way.”
I wanted to kiss the top of his head and smell his scent. The voice of reason inside my head kept telling me, “Wait.” But my body was pushing me to act.
Holden waved his palm in front of my blank eyes. “Riley, you there? Earth to Riley. Come in, Riley,” he said.
I snapped out of my trance. “Sorry,” I muttered, shaking my head.
“Man, where did you go? You were totally gone, like in outer space or something,” Holden said.
I laughed, feeling a little embarrassed. Lately, I noticed a change in my thought processes. I was beginning to take life a little bit more serious, but it made me feel a little… old.
“I was just thinking about our night,” I admitted. I didn’t clarify any further.
“Well, get your head out of the clouds and walk with me,” Holden said. “I’m feeling fun tonight. You got me excited.”
Holden put out his hand. Did he want me to take it? I looked down and felt my heavy heart pound against my sternum. “Well?” he asked me.
“I’m ready. Let’s have some fun,” I said, grabbing his hand.
Everything was so subtle with Holden. He took his time, only to pull me in further. Normally, I knew right away what was going to happen. If I met a cute omega at the bar, I’d know within hours if we were going home together.
It was different with Holden. This was a guy who grew up with quiet. He was raised in a vast landscape with serious people and disapproving parents. I’m sure he had to hide a lot of who he was, and in a way, he was still hiding himself.
So, I had to play along with his game. That was okay with me. I could play as long as he wanted me to.
As we walked across the bay bridge, we both looked up at the neon blue lights that were fixed to the steel beams. Both of us closed our eyes for a few seconds, practically tasting the salty, sea air.
“Man, I love it here sometimes,” I admitted. “I mean, it’s pretty fake, but it’s also really beautiful.”
“Especially if you have someone to share it with,” Holden whispered, longingly. His desperate eyes eyed the horizon. I wondered what he was thinking, but I didn’t break the silence.
The jazz musicians that sat in front of the promenade of restaurants, started to play lighter tunes. The music that they played was slow and dreamy. Two men at on the curbside and sang, lightly crooning.
“Kind of romantic,” Holden said.
I smiled, trying not to seem too silly. Even if he had some pain behind those eyes, he was full of life. He had that youthful spark that I admired so much. It was important to try and keep that as long as you could.
“Maybe we should eat some Italian,” I said.
Holden put a finger up to his chin and thought about it. “That sounds perfect, Riley,” he said. Of course, I loved how he said my name.
After careful deliberation, we chose an outside table. The stars were visible, despite the low lighting of the promenade. And the weather was perfect for a July summer. There wasn’t any heat rising from the cement, and the breeze from the bay kept us chilled enough to stay smiling.
“I’m getting the Bolognese,” Holden declared.
I laughed because that was exactly what I was going to pick. “Damn. You’ve got good taste,” I said.
“Of course I do,” Holden winked. He was really starting to come out of his shell.
“Okay, I’m going to get the ravioli,” I said.
I flagged down the waiter and ordered our food with a bottle of some rare natural wine, harvested an hour south from Belleview Bay.
Holden sat back, his shirt unbuttoned to the center of his chest. Small chest hairs could be seen on his tan skin. For the first time, he looked relaxed.
“Okay, I can see why people come here,” he said.
I nodded and glanced at all of the guests. They were so dapper looking, so rich. They all looked like they lead the best lives in the world. “This is what I want,” I said with wonder. “I want to have a restaurant like this. I like the food truck, but this is what I desire.”
Holden reached over the table silently. He took my hand and squeezed. “You know why I left?” Holden didn’t wait for me to respond. “I left because I believe that anything is possible. I could have given up a hundred times this trip, but I didn’t. And then, right when I had lost all hope, I met you.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You can do this,” Holden said. “And I know I’m just a guy who grew up on a shitty ranch down south, but I’m going to help you. I’m going to make some use out of myself, for once in my life.”
“Someday, all of this,” I gestured around me, “won’t be a dream. It’ll be attainable.”
Both of us locked eyes. The candle in the center of the table flickered in Holden’s eyes. The moment seemed to last forever, but then, the food came out. I squeezed his hand before he let me go.
I could feel this good forever. Elevated is the word. I felt elevated.
We ate our food and leaned back in wonder. We were basking in our dreams, floating somewhere deep inside of our hearts. Sometimes, there’s nothing else that you need to say. Words become trivial, but the thought remains as a potent diamond.
Holden placed the money on the table, and I paid the tip. “We did it,” he said. “We were rich for one night.”
“When we have friendship, we’re always rich,” I said.
Truth was, I had been alone for so long that I almost forgot what it was like to have a real friend. It felt pretty fucking amazing. Luckily, the night wasn’t over yet. We’d have to wake up early, but it was only nine o’clock. We still had time.
“Let’s sit at the sand down there,” I pointed. “Just for a little bit.”
“Okay, let’s go,” Holden said, suddenly standing above his seat. Come on!” Holden ran toward the sandbank, leaving me behind. I ran to catch up to him. He was quick tonight, and one hundred percent frisky.
Holden’s feet hit the water, jeans immediately soaking wet. He screamed with delight and pure joy. His smile stretched across his face as he yelled, “I’ve been waiting for this! Freedom!”
He threw his arms into the air. I caught up to him, curling my arms around his waist. I didn’t care anymore about masking how I felt. I was crushing, and I wanted him to know.
I picked him up into the air and spun him around to face me. His smile never faded, seeming to last forever. He put his arms around my head and before I knew it, I was pulled
into the freezing cold water.
Underneath the surface, we opened our eyes. The sound of the deep silence resonated within my eardrums. I could barely see, but I felt his hands groping around my waist, pushing underneath my shirt. He brushed against my abdomen and held onto my hips as we resurfaced the water.
There were no words spoken, and we didn’t waste any time. Who knows how long we had? A week? A month? A year? If Holden was going back to his ranch, I might never seen him again.
So, we held onto each other, pursuing our desires enough to satisfy tonight. Our lips crushed with the ferocity of two strangers yearning for the inevitable. Though we had just met, there was something strong between us, an undeniable bond that was in its beginning stages.
It was exciting to feel like this. These past years had been hard on me. I had Jared to talk to, but without anyone to love, I slowly became a shell of something I once knew. I lost grips with my self and my goals. I almost gave up… ‘til I found Holden.
His pink lips wrapped perfectly around mine, daring to kiss forever. We opened our mouths to breathe, our tongues slowly circling to the rhythms of the water’s movements. His lips tasted so sweet. When I breathed in his scent, I was only pulled into his depths further.
Softly, our lips parted, but not before clasping down one last time. I ran my tongue over my lips as our bodies hovered close to each other. What was I supposed to say now?
“You’re so fucking sexy,” I whispered. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you this whole time.”
“So have I,” Holden said. “I usually don’t do this, though.”
Underneath the water, I felt my cock thicken. As our bodies touched, I’m sure he felt it. But instead of taking it further, he swam back. “I don’t either,” I assured him. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in years.”
I hadn’t gotten laid in a year either, and it was eating me up inside. My alpha drive was working over time. The more I pushed closer to Holden, the more I wanted to feel his soft omega spot clasp around my cock.
I imagined the sight for a second, and it drove me fucking crazy. His hot ass, rocking back and forth. His tight hole, pulsating inward.
“What happened with your ex?” Holden asked. The question jerked me out of my fantasy.
“Matthew? God. He was an asshole,” I muttered. But I didn’t want to talk about those days. If I started talking about the past, he’d know who I really was. He’d start to judge me like everybody else. And then, he’d leave.
“I’ve had a lot of assholes in my life too,” Holden said. “But I’ve never had a long lasting boyfriend. I always felt like my family would judge me if I did.”
“Maybe. You never know,” I said.
The moonlight drifted across the black water. It’s image altered as the slow current ebbed and flowed. “I know. They wanted an alpha. It was masked in jokes, in stories… but I knew,” Holden said.
But then he grinned. “So, I’d have to sneak around. If a guy came over, we had to be extra quiet. There were a lot of places, actually. The guest house, the pasture, the stables…”
“You’re turning me on so much,” I said, smiling back and biting my lip. I could still taste him. “The stables? Really?”
“One time,” he said.
I laughed, holding my cock underwater. I wanted so much more with him right now, more than I knew I would get tonight. That was okay because I wanted to draw this out until we absolutely craved it.
I decided to open up a little, without telling him everything. I felt comfortable, and I wanted to trust Holden. I wanted him to trust me too.
“My parents were understanding to a point. But I didn’t grow up with too much,” I said.
“What happened?” Holden asked.
I guess it was pretty obvious that something happened to me. I had never been the luckiest guy in the world. It showed in just about everything that I did.
“They wanted a normal life for me, just like yours. Marriage. Job. Kids. You know, the whole shebang. In the end, I let them down,” I said. “I miss them a lot. I lost them both some years ago.”
“I’m so sorry, Riley,” Holden whispered.
I kept calm on the outside. It still hurt to think about, but I couldn’t think about it for too long of a time. “It’s okay,” I said. “Life happens. Someday, it’ll get easier.”
“Someday” was a word I used a lot, but it kept me dreaming. These days, dreaming was a good thing. Holden stared at me before he reached out once more. His fingers played with my belt buckle. Then, he kissed me. One more time, our lips met. This time, our kiss was slow and deliberate.
“I like you,” Holden said.
“I like you too,” I said with an honest smile. “We get each other.”
When it was time to go, we both stepped out of the water, clothes absolutely drenched. Holden screamed with pleasure, roaring one last time at the moon.
There was so much to do when you had someone by your side. It wasn’t forever, but that was okay. Right now, Holden was there. And I could watch that sweet ass walk ahead of me any day.
Chapter Seven
Holden
“No, Andy. I told you already. Look, you’re not listening to me. I—”
My pulse was going through the roof. I hated talking to my brother, Andy.
I paused, glancing around the parking lot near the payphone. I really didn’t want Riley to see me like this. I had already been gone a good ten minutes, and today, there were more customers than usual.
Andy interrupted me to illustrate just how much of a failure I really was. “It isn’t fair, Holden. While you’re frolicking around the country, other people have to work. They have families to feed. You know, like our fucking parents. Stop this madness and get home, now,” Andy said.
The anger in his voice was palpable, but it wouldn’t bring me to my knees. Not this time. I knew that he was stressed out too, but he took it out on me in the wrong way. All my life, he had been yelling at me and barking orders my way. This time was no different, except I wasn’t going to let him win.
“I’m going to hang up if you keep talking to me like this. Then, you’ll never know where to find me,” I said. “You’ll never see me again. Do you understand, Andy?”
There was a short pause. Then, he responded. “You’re working? Like, a job?” he asked.
“Of course. That’s all you care about. Work.” I sighed. This was hopeless. I would never get through to him.
“It’s not all I care about. I just don’t want to keep seeing you fuck up. We’re all out here, trying to hold up the fort, and you’re doing God knows what. It’s all because of grandma. She fucked you up in the head, Holden. You’re not some golden child. You’re one of us,” Andy said.
That familiar burning sensation of tears building behind my eyelids pushed me to the side of the window. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair, decent, or kind. I didn’t think I was special. I just wanted to do my own thing without bearing the guilt trip from my family.
If I started to talk right away, I knew that I’d start crying. I’d betray my strength within seconds. So, I didn’t say anything.
I closed my eyes, and I just breathed. I thought of my horse, Sonny. I pictured him riding up on our favorite hill. I felt the wind rush down my back. Everything was still.
A smile formed on my face. I didn’t have anything else to say to him except for one thing. “I met someone,” I said. “And we’re starting something together, something bigger and better than anything you’ll ever do, Andy. I don’t want to hear from you for a while, until you come to your senses and let me be me. Goodbye, Andy.”
I could hear my brother’s flustered voice as he ran across the hallway. I pictured those mahogany floors, the ones I took my first steps on. I heard him slam the door as he ran outside, presumably to scream for me to wait.
“Holden, don’t you dare hang up the ph—”
That time, I hung up on him. Boy, did it feel fucking good. I walked out of the phone booth, stoi
c. I didn’t smile or frown. I just did what I had to do. I went to work.
When I came back to the food truck, there was a tiny line. Two people. Well, it was more than the usual. Riley smiled and took the orders.
“Where you been? This place is slammed,” Riley said, a complete exaggeration.
“I had to take care of something,” I said. I grabbed my gloves and snapped them on.
“Secrets, secrets,” Riley said, wagging his finger.
I winked and helped him make the next set of food items. We cooked and served until there was no one left in the vicinity. All in all, we served about thirty people.
“Damn,” Riley said, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “We really had some customers today.”
“We really did,” I said. I grinned and unbuttoned my shirt, standing next to the cool fan. I opened the door to let the cold summer air flow inside. Both of us exited and let out a triumphant sigh.
I sat down next to him at the table and slowly felt his hand rest on my thigh. My cock almost immediately perked up, feeling heavy inside of my underwear. Riley squeezed, and I felt pulled into him.
I looked behind us at the food truck. The sign was weathered and covered with rust. “You need to fix this place up, Riley. A new paint job. A fresh sign. This whole place could do so much better if we had that,” I said.
Riley let go of my thigh and nodded. “Yeah, but we can still barely afford to pay for the necessities with the extra money we’ve been getting,” he said. “How can we pay for someone to make a sign?”
It didn’t take much thinking. I had done similar things at the ranch. Signs for produce with the family logo. That sort of thing. I was pretty good with my hands.
“Do you have some paint?” I asked him.
“I can find some supplies,” Riley said.
“Good,” I said. “I’m going to make this place one of a kind.”
“What do you mean?” Riley asked. “You paint? You never told me.”
“When I wasn’t milking cows tits, I ran most of the marketing operations back home. It’s easy. I can handle this, Riley,” I said.