Sorry, I'm Taken

by Achuth Mohandas

  I felt my life getting better. Those days, my life was really bright and might be the best days that I ever came across because they were capable of fulfilling many of my ambitions to an extent. The best and the worst moments of our life can’t be figured out until our life ends, but it’s always better to analyse the best and worst times of our life when we feel too good or too bad about it because it can teach us the value of life. The best and the worst are always comparative, but when compared to all the other periods of my life that particular era looked so amazing, shining and promising.

  I was just nineteen years old when I stepped into the entertainment industry. By profession, I was a Radio Jockey and known by my own name. I didn’t use any mock names to present me on air because the only asset that I had got from my parents was my name and I just wanted to make them proud for that when people hear my name. The FM radio for which I worked was one of the largest radio broadcasting brands in India and I was really proud to be a working part of that. My career kick started at such a young age and I got an opportunity to work for the biggest brand which every youngster could only have dreamt of. Private FM Radios entered our city market in early 2008 and I was one of the first official RJs in regular payroll in the whole of Kerala state. I had no idea how an FM radio station would work when I joined the team, but the hard-core training and creative workshops provided by the company made me swim much easily in creativity and the entertainment arena. Slowly but steadily, I was brought on track and I became a successful yet another professional Radio Jockey.

  ‘What does that word “successful” mean?’ – I asked this question to myself many times and finally I had an answer, which satisfied me to the fullest.

  “Being successful in life is being successful in making others think that we are successful in our life.” – This was my answer to myself; I was successful. I found my job interesting and promising because it provided me with almost everything that I had desired for; it gave me money, social value, celebrity status, fan following and it continued for a comparatively long period in my life. It was the first day of 2008 and the New Year's Day seemed to be much brighter for me because I entered my career officially on that day. My work contract was signed on that day with the Biggest Radio Brand and officially, I became a Professional Radio Jockey on 1-1-2008.

  ●

  FEBRUARY 6, 2008: THE LAUNCH DAY

  That day was going to be the biggest day of our lives and all of us were very much aware of that. We all knew that the day was either going to build or destroy our whole career and it was dependent on our performance on air. I still remember the launch day of our radio station. The programming department, which included me, could not get a wink of sleep due to the heavy workload during the launch. The workload started a week prior to the launch and it was a sudden inter-office correspondence, which literally made us drown in the tides of stress. For a whole week, we were all busy preparing the show contents, titles, brand jingles and other acoustic materials to make our radio station sound unique. After all the preparations, prayers and hard work we launched our radio station on 6th February 2008. It was a completely new experience for all of us; not only for the radio professionals but also for the city and its crowd too. We were writing history in the entertainment industry with our performances on air. I still believe that no amount of hard work would ever be wasted if we put our heart and soul in it. I always believed in the ten two-lettered words; “if it is to be, it is up to me”. One day or another, we will definitely be paid for that.

  I was born and brought up in Trivandrum city and it was not less than any metropolitan city in the country, but it was never given a metro title. Metro or a Non-Metro, it was our homeland; we loved it to the core. I loved my city more than any other city in the world. We had a very bright cultural vividness in Trivandrum. People from almost all parts of India could be seen here. Let it be a Malayali, Punjabi or Bengali, everyone was a part of our cultural vividness. Remember, we always took our pledge saying that all Indians are our brothers and sisters. Don’t ask me where the fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces and cousins have gone; I never had an answer for that.

  The people of my city belonged to various religions, castes and geographical backgrounds. People from other parts of the country were also here pursuing their jobs, education or other interests. The cultural vividness in the city was so vibrant that we all celebrated Onam, Christmas, Eid, Holi, Pongal and so many other festivals with the same festive mood. There was no month in our calendar, which had no festivals or festival related holidays.

  When we launched our radio station, everything went fine for days, weeks, months and years. People started loving us. The listeners used to call me on my shows and ask advice for their personal, social and other life-related problems. I was so happy to give them advises, solutions and tricks to tackle their problems. I also aired such problems through my show so that others who have similar problems can use those solutions in their lives too. All their problems made me feel like a priest in a church listening to the confessions made by people who wants to get rid of their problems or punishments that they receive. I was neither a priest nor a Messenger of God, but I loved to help people in their tough times. Bhagavad Gita taught me to do my duty and to stay detached from it; I was just doing what I was meant to do. In the meantime, people also asked for song dedications to their loved ones and I did play their favourite songs; after all, they were asking it for their love.

  ●

  It was our practical lab session going on an afternoon and a representative of our college union came to our lab and handed over a letter to our teacher.

  Our teacher read that letter, called me and said – ‘Arjun, go with him and report to the principal immediately.’

  ‘Why, sir? What happened? Why should I meet the principal?’ – I asked, in tension.

  ‘I don’t know, ask the principal itself.’ – He said, cross-signing the principal’s letter.

  All my classmates were looking at me like I was a criminal who got summoned for a court trial and even I was feeling the same. Nobody in the college wanted to meet the principal in person, but it was my fate to be called by him.

  ‘What have I done so much to be called by the principal? Did I break any of the college rules unknowingly? If I am getting suspended, how long would it take for me to re-join the college?’ – Thinking of all the possibilities, I walked with the college union representative to the principal’s room.

  On reaching the principal’s office, the college union representative asked me to go in and he left the place immediately. That was the first time I entered the principal’s office room. Unlike the other rooms, it was air-conditioned and a cold wind was already chilling me up. Our college Union Chairman Avinash was also there with the principal. I smiled at both of them, but only Avinash cared to return one.

  ‘Sit down.’ – Our principal said.

  ‘Why did you want me to report, sir?’ – I asked with a trembling voice while taking my seat facing the principal.

  The answer came from Avinash. – ‘We are celebrating our College day on 3rd March. Every year we roped in celebrities to inaugurate the event. This time, we need your participation.’

  Yes! I understood their motive. They wanted me to arrange some celebrities for the college day event using my professional influences.

  ‘Sorry Avinash. I can’t use my professional side for you. I have healthy professional relationships with so many celebrities and I can’t invite them to inaugurate the college day.’ – I said.

  ‘What? What are you talking about?’ – Avinash asked as if he didn’t understand anything.

  ‘What were you talking about, actually?’ – I asked as if I haven’t understood anything either.

  ‘We don’t need any other celebrity when you are here. You are our college’s pride. We need you to inaugurate the event.’ – Said, Avinash.

  For a few seconds, I forgot that I was in the principal’s room and I
burst out a loud laugh hearing this.

  ‘Why are you laughing Arjun?’ – Asked, the principal.

  I tried to control my laughter and said – ‘Sorry sir. It seems to be a joke. Isn’t it?’

  ‘Not really. You are a celebrity for the whole city, then why not for us? We want you to inaugurate the college day event.’ – The principal said.

  I stopped laughing and said – ‘Sir, how can I do this? This is my college, I have friends here and I belong here. How can I inaugurate such an event in front of my people?’

  ‘As you said, just consider them as your own people and inaugurate it. Simple.’

  ‘If you want, I can arrange some celebrities for the inauguration; maybe two or three film stars.’ – I said, making an escape plan.

  ‘Why would we need them? If we can’t understand our student’s value, how can we value others?’ – Our principal said and that was a psychological move indeed.

  I remained silent for almost thirty seconds and the principal himself broke the silence and said – ‘So, you are our chief guest who is going to inaugurate the event.’

  I passed a pale smile as I was running short of words to make excuses and escape from that.

  When I returned to my class, everyone wanted to know what had happened in the principal’s office. I told them it was regarding a certificate submission and as the certificate problem was a usual thing in our college, they had to believe me.

  It was just a week left for the college day event when they informed me about it and I had never given attention to such events in my life before. That made me so blank about the idea of inaugurating the event and delivering an inaugural speech. I had no idea what to do or say. There came my saviour, “YouTube”. I watched so many videos in YouTube, related to similar events and functions, noted down points to remember, practised it in front of the mirror as if I was inaugurating the mirror.

  ●

  MARCH 3, 2008: COLLEGE DAY

  The college day event was really a fantastic one to attend. Everyone seemed to be happy and in a celebratory mood. More than everything, my classmates were really excited with the idea of me inaugurating the event. Even though everyone was celebrating, I should not say everyone because I wasn’t actually feeling good from within. The thought of even the slightest mistake of mine, destroying my whole value in the college was haunting me. A couple of speeches were over and the college union chairman invited me to inaugurate the event and to deliver the inaugural speech. I could see my classmates making waves within the audience.

  I went to the centre of the stage and took the small lamp in my hand; with it, I lighted the big traditional lamp, which was almost half of my height. I could hear synchronized sound of claps from students and my heartbeats were getting increased second by second. After lighting the lamp, I went to the podium to deliver the inaugural speech. I knocked the microphone a couple of times to ensure that it was working properly as I have seen in the speech videos on YouTube and an amplified version of the knocks was delivered to the audience through large loudspeakers. My whole body was shivering, but I didn’t want that to reflect on my voice and I started delivering the so-called inaugural speech.

  ‘Hi everyone, I don’t think I need an introduction, but as a formality, let it be there. My name is Achuth, a final year physics student of this college and a Radio Jockey by profession. I am still thinking, why am I here and delivering this speech. I have been in this college for more than two years and I was never even asked for an opinion on anything. Now I am on this stage only because of my profession. This moment makes me realize that the mere physical existence doesn’t make us what we are, but the things we do make us what we are. I believe that I have done something with my life and it led me here.’ – I said in a calm voice supported by body gestures.

  A round of applause was falling on my ears and I paused for a couple of seconds. That applause made my spirit flowing through my veins and I still don’t know what all things I had said on the stage after that; it was more like a “blah-blah-blah” kind of thing for me. My speech was followed by a series of cultural programmes and I left the auditorium immediately after my inaugural speech to avoid any question from anyone.

  ●

  The next day, I was dropped at my college after my morning show by our office cab and when I stepped into the college’s main garden, a group of my junior students, including boys and girls approached me.

  ‘We are second-year students of commerce. We would like to have you in our annual intercollegiate commerce conference.’ – A tall beautiful girl of that group said.

  ‘As you know, I am a physics student. I have never even seen a balance sheet or a journal. What am I supposed to do in your annual conference?’ – I asked.

  ‘You don’t have to talk about commerce or related subjects. Just speak about chasing our dreams and making things happen.’ – One of them said.

  ‘I don’t think I am a person of that kind. Motivation doesn’t come from me. It comes from within; I believe so.’ – I explained.

  ‘But on our college day, you managed to do that with your speech.’

  ‘Did I?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing. When is your conference?’ – I asked so that I could avoid more questions about the college day event.

  ‘Next week.’ – The tall, beautiful girl said.

  ‘Okay. Let me think and I’ll let you know.’ – I said and pulled myself away from that situation.

  I was realising that the last day’s event has changed my college life completely. I was not a geek anymore. I wore better clothes, used costly perfumes and seemed very pleasant in front of others. Before two years, I wanted to make friends, but nobody was ready to talk to me. Now time has changed; I became a semi-celebrity in the social circles and that made all these people attracted to me, but it was clear to me that all these things were happening out of the celebrity status that I was holding. I was also aware that if I lose the said status, all that I had been enjoying would vanish forever and I wasn’t ready to lose those reflections at that point of time. I wanted to enjoy my life to the fullest with whatever I had. I started loving my life more than ever before. In addition to that, I started earning a decent amount of money as a regular salary that was being credited to my bank account every month. I started socialising myself by making new friends in and around the city and even made close contacts with so many celebrities.

  Time passed like it had a fast forward button. I finished my graduation and changed my professional status from a part time RJ to a full time one. I was feeling exactly like changing my relationship status from single to committed when I changed my professional status. I started spending more time in my profession than anything else and it never made me regret because my profession was providing me with whatever I wished to achieve. I still believe that my life as an RJ was a success; at least for myself. I never regretted choosing it as my first job.

  Who’s That Girl?

  She came into my life when I was enjoying my professional traits to the core. I had thousands of friends, too many close friends and a strong best friends circle. At that time, it was not too tough for me to meet a girl in real life; however, my fate had different plans for me. I met her over a social networking website.

  Back in 2008, Orkut was the world’s largest social networking website and I was also a part of it. I had a profile on it with thousands of people on my friend list, but most of them were strangers to me. I seldom acquainted myself with them and managed to stay away from people whom I didn’t know personally. I never initiated a conversation in the social network, but I used to respond to almost all the scrap and private messages that I had received. It still makes me nostalgic when I think about that social networking platform. I never denied any friend requests on Orkut. Also, social networking websites were not banned in our office, as it was a potential chance to climb the ladder of fame. So, the management never restricted us from using such websites on office computers. Socialize
or extinct – they always used to say.

  In 2008, she sent me a friend request on Orkut and I saw her friend request when I logged in, amidst my tightly packed work schedule. To me, she was no different from others and I accepted it without a second thought. When I accepted her friend request, a pop-out box notified me – Namratha is now your friend. Her name was Namratha and she had an old photo of a kid sitting on a chair as her profile picture; probably a childhood photo of her. The picture was too old and had so many stains on it. Immediately after accepting her friend request, she sent me a message and me being the person I was, responded to her message.

  ‘Are you that Arjun who hosts radio shows?’ – I read her first message.

  I felt insulted and it was a blow to my ego. All my professional details were furnished on my profile and she was questioning me in doubt. I tried my best not to be arrogant and replied – ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are you sure that it’s you? I hope this is not a fake account.’ – She responded.

  That was the limit of my patience and I responded in a different way that I had never had before. – ‘If you want to know whether I’m real or not, come to my office and meet me there. You’re not the one designated to take the population census of all the fake and real accounts on every social networking website. If you want to be on my friend list, you will have to trust me or else you can leave. I meant, you can leave right now.’