I waited outside the train and looked at her through the glass window of her air-conditioned compartment. The semi-dark glass window was hindering my vision and the train started to move slowly. I really wanted to run with the train and be with her till the last step of the railway platform like a mainstream hero of the movies, but I had some common sense left and it stopped me from doing that action to avoid unnecessary problems.
My emotions were running wild and I didn’t have the courage to look at anyone around me. I immediately left the railway station and there I had my friend Arun to pick me up from the station. Being a very close friend of mine, he could understand the hidden words behind my welled up eyes and heavy heart. He neither asked nor said anything, rather he just drove the car in the direction of the beach and took me for a walk along the shore. As it was Thursday, there was no huge crowd at the beach.
Arun pointed at something twinkling and floating on the sea and asked – ‘Do you know what they are?’
‘Yes, it’s fishermen with their boats.’ – I replied, but in vague voice.
‘Yes. They travel from land to sea to make their daily living. That travel is not permanent as they return to the land every other day. If they don’t come back to the land there is no value for their hard work. Like this, Namratha has now chosen to distance herself from you, just to come back to you as a successful, professional architect.’ – He advised and I remained silent.
He continued – ‘You have to support her. Never discourage her. We know that she loves you more than she loves anyone else and if you start behaving like this, she may discontinue her education and come back here. If that happens, will you be able to give her back a lost year of her career? And one more thing…’
I looked at him like I wanted to hear something very important.
‘She is joining her college now and you can marry her after she graduates her course. Which means, she will be your wife in five years. If she discontinues her studies now, she will have to join a new college next year and it will take six years for you to marry her. You can choose whatever you want. This is just my suggestion.’ – He said.
I perceived it completely and a light of logic passed through my nerves. I hugged him so tight and said – ‘Thanks, Arun. If you were not here with me, things would have ended up in a very different way. You showed me the right way.’
‘That’s why the world still calls us Friends!’ – He replied with a smile.
●
Namratha left for Chennai and I felt like she left my life completely blank. The next five days were exact clones of each other. Waking up, going to office, hosting my radio shows and returning home was my fixed routine during those days. Everyone advised me that being sad can only bring negativity into our lives. I was sad for sure, but I found my positive happiness there. The more I turned sad, the more I understood how much I loved her. Love Gurus always advise people not to listen to sad songs on occasions of separation and break-ups because it will amplify the magnitude of the pain and sadness, but here, I listened to a playlist of sad songs because those songs kept on telling me how much I loved her.
The toughest thing in my routine to perform those days was to host live radio shows. It was those days when I realized that a Radio Jockey is very much similar to a Joker in the circus; both are humans, they do have feelings, emotions and their own life to run, but their task is to entertain others and make them happy. They have no right to be so much thoughtful about their feelings and emotions when they are on their shows. Everyone knows that covering up one's emotions is not practically possible always and they pop out at one point or the other, but in my profession, it was considered as one of the largest mistakes. My job was to make people smile, laugh, think and to entertain them in all possible ways, irrespective of my mood swings.
‘What am I? A Radio Jockey or a Radio Joker?’ – At least once, every Radio Jockey might have asked this particular question to themselves.
●
After dead cold five days, I got a call from an unknown number on the sixth day evening when I was walking to the bus stop from my office. It was Namratha calling me from her new phone number and it made me so excited to talk to her after a long time. Tears rolled over my cheek and of course, I was a little bit angry with her that she didn’t call me for the last six days.
‘Why didn’t you call me after reaching Chennai?’ – I asked in a hard tone.
‘Ah, it seems like my darling is so angry.’ – She said in a sweet tone, but I didn’t care to respond.
‘Arjun, I started on 21st August, which was a Thursday and I reached here the next day. As it was Friday, I had to go to college with my family to finalize the admission procedure. Then they stayed with me at the hotel for the weekend. On Monday, I attended my first class in this college and moved to the college hostel. On Tuesday, I got my new SIM card, which took a day to get activated. Today is Wednesday and I am calling you from this new number.’ – She explained the whole history of her six days in just six sentences.
Her explanation was pretty clear and my anger melted down with that reasonable reason. I was feeling like eating my favourite food after starving for six whole days. Our conversation lasted for so long that I reached my home, which was almost four kilometres away from my office by foot. I didn’t even care to take the bus and that could be what people call the power of love; maybe stamina of love too.
‘I have got some new friends here. Do you want to talk to them?’ – She asked.
‘Boys or girls?’
‘It’s seven in the evening and I’m inside my hostel. Do you think boys would be here in our hostel?’
‘If girls, I’m okay to talk.’ – I said, smirking.
‘Don’t show those regular boy traits.’ – She warned me.
‘Sorry darling, but give me an introduction before I talk to them.’ – I said.
‘Okay. I have three friends here. Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy. All are from Kerala, but not from Trivandrum. All of us are first-year students, but Anushka is in the engineering stream and the rest of them are my hostel mates as well as my classmates.’
‘Okay.’
‘You know what?’ – She asked.
‘What?’
‘Anushka is a Brahmin girl who eats plenty of non-vegetarian food.’
‘Enough of the introduction. I shall talk to them now.’ – I said, as I was not interested in those girl gossips.
Namratha spent only two days with those girls and it seemed like they became thick friends in that limited time. Before I said anything more, Anushka got the phone in her hand and said – ‘Hi.’
‘Hello.’ – I responded.
‘You need to tell me your whole story.’
‘Better you ask Namratha about it. It’s a story of years and will take days to finish.’ – I explained.
‘Okay. But when are you coming here?’
‘Why should I come there?’ – I asked, wondering.
‘To meet Namratha. Oh, leave it. Come to meet us at least.’
‘But how can I enter your hostel room? Isn’t it secured?’
‘Don’t think too much. Just come to the church, meet us and go.’
‘Church?’ – I wondered again.
‘Yeah, all the students in our hostel who want to go to church on Sundays are taken to a particular church on every Sunday, where a priest of that church accompanies them and we can go with them to the church. So, our plan is to meet you at the church on a Sunday after the prayer. If you come to the church, you can meet us.’ – She explained a whole new plan to me.
‘Cool. We shall try it.’ – I said, with hope.
●
I felt that Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy are the best friends Namratha could ever get. They were really close to us and I was extremely sure that Namratha wouldn’t be selecting wrong people in her friend list. Even I started to enjoy their friendship.
I knew Namratha through Orkut and we stopped using it because Orkut has lost its popularity
and almost everyone had migrated from it to Facebook. Namratha was not so much into social networking and she didn’t even care to create an account on Facebook, but Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy secured their places on my Facebook friends list. I could see their photos together with Namratha very often when they share such photos. I lost my sadness of being away from her and was being more than happy to see Namratha happy.
Phone calls those days were very convenient and efficient for us when a network provider came up with an unlimited free offer on national calls just at five hundred rupees a month. It took us no time to become their customers. Our days started with a phone call and ended with one too. On all days, we spent most of the time on the phone to be together at least over voice. Even when she was doing her designs or when I was writing my scripts, we used to talk and we were always thankful for that unlimited voice call offer.
The Chennai Saga
A MONTH LATER:
I boarded the train to Chennai on 17th August 2011 at 12:30PM. It was supposed to be a sixteen-hour journey and I was so sure that I would feel it like a journey of at least 16 years. I got the window seat and each second passed painfully slow as the night fell upon us.
That night was too thick that it brought the greatest trepidation of my life. ‘What if the train derails? What if I die? Will I have to leave this world without meeting her for one last time?’ – These questions flashed through my mind constantly and that was the biggest fear that had ever shadowed in my life. I didn’t want to die, at least not before meeting her. I was making plans A, B and C to escape from death if something bad happens to the train. I checked the emergency exits, measured the distance from my seat to the doors on both sides with my feet, placed my bags and other articles near me and took every preventive measure to escape death. I was expecting an accident as Indian Movies always showed something similar in such situations.
Even though there had been no unexpected incidents, it had unexpected halts at several points and ran late. The sixteen-hour journey took almost 18 hours to reach Chennai and I was all awake during the entire journey. I stepped down from the train at Chennai Central Railway Station and called my friend Uday who was waiting for me at the Railway Station. Uday was a budding musician who had already released a couple of music albums and trying to get into the movie industry. He came to Chennai that morning from Bengaluru after some music workshops to take part in a discussion for a movie.
We hired an auto rickshaw from Chennai Central Railway Station and asked the driver to drop us at the hotel where we had reserved a room. Uday used to visit Chennai often and he was familiar with the city, which was so comfortable for my situation. The traffic density in Chennai was too high that we could have reached the hotel in fifteen minutes if we had walked, but it took us thirty minutes to reach the hotel by that auto rickshaw. We finished the preliminary formalities at the hotel and went to our assigned room. Placing my bags on the bed, I looked at my wristwatch, which pointed 7:05AM, and I had no time to waste. Uday’s meeting with the movie crew was scheduled at 8:30AM and my meeting with Namratha was planned to occur at 9AM.
Unlike Uday, I had very little knowledge about the city. So being the good friend he is, he mapped me the route and some landmarks to keep in my mind. The place where I had to go was “Perungudi” which was almost 15 kilometres away from our hotel and Uday told me to avoid travelling by auto rickshaws and prefer buses because the fare metres run faster than the auto rickshaws in Chennai. Well, most of them didn’t have fare meters; even if they were having it, it won’t be working; even if it was working, the drivers will never even switched it on. As I was new to the city, I was not sure if I could reach the place in just one hour. I took a quick shower and left the room at 7:30AM with a bag containing chocolates, dresses and some gift items, which I had brought for Namratha and her friends. I managed to get some connected buses to reach Perungudi, but then it turned out to be confusing to decide how to proceed from there and I had to rely on Google Maps. It showed five churches in the same locality and I realized that I had no other option than hiring an auto rickshaw.
●
‘Where do you want to go, sir?’ – The auto rickshaw driver asked.
‘A Church.’ – I said.
The conversation between auto rickshaw driver and I were mostly in Tamil as it was his mother tongue. I was able to speak Tamil moderately well because I used to watch a lot of Tamil movies too.
‘Which church, sir?’
‘I don’t know.’ – I answered desperately.
‘What is this, sir? You want to go to a church, but don’t even know which one it is.’
‘I’m new to Chennai. I came here to meet someone at a church, but I lost the location map. It’s a Malayalees’ church and a lot of Keralites go to that church.’
‘Get in, sir. I got it.’ – He said with confidence and I stepped into the auto rickshaw.
After travelling almost two kilometres, we reached the church and I had to pay him 250 Rupees for such a short distance, which reminded me Uday’s words from earlier (‘Auto fares are never fair here’). Nodding to myself, I walked towards the church.
●
Inside the church, most of the benches were vacant, other than the ones, which had people seated randomly and kids running aimlessly around the church hall. I understood that the prayer hasn’t commenced yet and glad I was not late. I decided to wait outside with no idea about the people coming with the college students. It may include her classmates, teachers, hostel warden or other harmful persons. So, I decided to stay out of the church. There was a large milestone just 20 meters away from the church’s gate and I assumed it would be the best place to sit while I closely watch the gate awaiting her arrival.
Namratha had told me not to call or message her in the morning, as she would be with other students. Therefore, I had no clue if they had started from the hostel or where they had reached or how long would it take them to reach the church. Many vehicles entered the church, but none with the college’s name or logo. I waited for almost an hour and at 9:50AM, their college bus reached the church gate and all the students stepped down one after the other. They were walking in a perfect line towards the church and I was scanning each and everyone’s face. The sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth in the line were Namratha, Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy respectively. As I have seen them in photos on Facebook, it wasn’t that hard for me to identify them. All the four girls, whom I knew, smiled at me and went inside the church.
I waited for another fifteen minutes outside the church thinking that Namratha would come out and talk to me, but she didn’t. I was unsure about the duration of Christian prayers and whether I could speak to her after that or not. I went inside the church and found it almost full with devotees as the prayer had started. There were two rows of benches; women were on the right row and men on the left. My eyes scanned all the women who were present there and found Namratha in less than fifteen seconds. She was sitting at the leftmost end of the eighth bench from the front and the next thing that happened was a heavenly coincidence; the rightmost position of the eighth bench from the front on the left row was vacant. I wasted no time and secured my place with the parcel in my hand.
Almost five minutes later, Namratha saw me looking at her. It was only then she came to know that I was in the church, sitting right next to her with just the aisle separating us. Being shocked, she shook her head involuntarily and the red coloured veil fell on her shoulder. She pulled it back over her head and tried to concentrate on the prayer. Everyone paid sincere attention to the prayer except us as we were looking at each other for most of the time, with longing and fear of being noticed. She was wearing a Salwar Kameez with white, red and black colours on it and a red veil over her head; she looked so beautiful. Everyone in the church might have been praying for his or her own well-being, but I was praying for a speedy wind-up of the prayer.
Maybe it was god’s plan to keep us together for the maximum time, as the prayer continued for more than t
hree hours; it was a special day at the church with representatives from other missionaries visiting it. Even when we were in our home city, we couldn’t spend three hours together without being scared of our family members or friends. Thank God!
I was the first one to get out of the church after the prayer. After ten minutes, Namratha came out with her three closest friends, but I had no idea on what to say or ask. That was the first time we met without the fear of her parents. Total silence existed between us for some moments and her friends were looking at our faces back and forth.
At last, breaking the ice, Namratha said – ‘Hi’
‘Hi.’ – I responded
‘How was the journey?’ – She enquired.
‘It was fine. I’m going back today on the evening train.’
‘Okay. Did you eat something?’
‘Not yet, but I’ll manage.’
‘Here, the church has arranged lunch for us. Do you mind joining us?’ – Nimitha asked.
‘Yes, I do.’ – I said.
She was shocked to hear my answer because she never expected me to deny that offer from her as that was the first time all of us could have lunch together.
I continued – ‘I feel really uncomfortable here. I need to leave.’
‘That’s usual. Devils will always feel uncomfortable on the church premises.’ – Jancy found her own definition for my decision and giggled.
‘That must be true.’ – I said and looked at Namratha.
Namratha and her friends looked at each other and stayed in silence.
‘Okay, I’m leaving now.’ – I said and handed over the parcel to Namratha that I had brought for her.
I left the place without another word. I saw her sad face, but I couldn’t look at it for too long. I left Chennai that evening and called her after getting on the train. Through phone, we bid farewell with trembling voices and wet eyes, which I can never forget in my lifetime.
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