I waited eagerly to know what had happened to my love. I didn’t want to interrupt and she said – ‘Namratha was diagnosed with the disease in December 2012. Probably the last time you met her. She came to meet you with a family friend or someone. She was afraid that she might open up everything to you. That’s why she brought that family friend with her.’
Namratha brought her family friend Sarini with her to the Pizza centre that day and behaved so badly to me. They didn’t spend much time with me and left after creating a mess. That might be because Sarini didn’t want Namratha to tell me about all these things.’ – I remembered.
‘Namratha was mostly in Chennai for the next few months taking her treatments and she was asked to avoid spending too much time on the phone.’ – Anushka continued.
That must be the reason why she didn’t talk to me much after that December incident. She used to talk to me only for a minute or two even when I called her. – I was figuring out things.
‘Things got worse. The hospital where she was being treated in Chennai was not a good one and her situation turned critical. Later she was moved to a hospital in Trivandrum. You remember the day when she broke up with you, right?’ – Anushka asked and I nodded.
‘That call of break-up happened exactly thirty minutes before her surgery and she knew it very well that the chance of getting recovered was just 30 percent. Nimitha, Jancy and I were with her when she broke up with you. Namratha was the one to make the screenplay and all of us were just actors to play some roles in that.’ – Anushka continued.
‘You made our lives so filmy and hard to handle.’ – I said.
●
ANUSHKA DESCRIBED ME THEIR LAST MOMENTS TOGETHER.
‘I know I have no time left to do this.’ – Namratha said sitting on the hospital bed.
She was wearing a patients’ uniform in sky blue colour. As a result of chemotherapy that she had undergone, her head had not even a single strand of hair. The glow of her eyes was missing for too long and the only evidence of her life left was a pale smile that she offered us at irregular intervals. Nimitha, Jancy and I were there with her in that room.
‘I know how much Arjun loves me. I am quite unsure of his situation after this.’ – She continued.
‘So what can we do?’ –Nimitha asked.
‘Hide it from him.’ – We all looked face to face when Namratha told this. Her eyes were wet and a drop of tear was ready to roll over her cheeks.
‘How long can we hide it from him? He will come to our college, ask our batch mates and he may even come to your house.’ – Jancy said, holding her hand.
‘He is sensible. He won’t do anything that could harm me. He’s the best boyfriend ever born on earth. We need to make a story and make him believe. He loves me more than anything else in the world and now, I want him to hate me; hate me more than anything else.’ – Namratha said.
‘But, how?’ – I wondered.
‘I am going to call him and ask for a break-up. He will be angry with me and will try his maximum to convince me. I won’t give ears to his words and will disconnect the call. He will try calling you and message you on Facebook, WhatsApp and all other possible mediums. You have to block him and his number on all such mediums and never entertain any communication from him.’
‘One day or another he will find out.’ – I warned.
‘No. He will be searching for me for many weeks. If I don’t survive this surgery, Anushka has to call him and tell him that I ditched him for another guy and I am living happily with the new guy. Tell some points to humiliate him, to the maximum. You have to end that call only when he starts hating me.’ – Namratha explained the plan.
‘He will find me and break my head.’ – I expressed my fear.
‘Nothing is going to happen. He trusts you a lot. More than that, he will not do anything that will turn my prestige down. He’s the best and I know that.’
We all remained silent, looking at her dull eyes and she continued – ‘Look at me. I don’t look like that same old Namratha whom he actually loved. I have no physical values or mental strength as before, which I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to hate me for this illness. I want him to hate me for some serious reason. If I don’t do this now, he will spoil his whole life crying over my death, which I don’t want to see. I need to set him free.’
‘You are not going to die. You will live happily ever after with Arjun.’ – I said, boosting her confidence to live.
●
TERRACE OF ANUSHKA’S APARTMENT
‘Then your conversation happened and she broke-up with you, but you didn’t. Later we came to know that you came to our college and enquired about us.’ – Said Anushka, to me and the wind was blowing so fast poking us all over as we stood on that terrace.
‘What happened to her after the surgery?’ – I asked impatiently.
‘She was on comma stage for several days after the surgery and left us after two weeks on September 18.’ – She said, making tears rolling over our cheeks.
‘I am so sorry that I had told you a lot of unwanted things about her. Please forgive me. She wanted you to get married and live happily. She knew that you will spoil your life if you come to know about all those incidents.’ – She continued, holding my hand so tight; her voice was trembling and eyes were wet.
‘Once, I gave her a promise. She left this world without a word, but our love can’t; it’s eternal. Promises are made to be kept and she kept her promise. Now, it’s my turn. – I said, looking at the boundless sky, where she resides.
Life Has To Go On
A MONTH LATER: SEPTEMBER 18, 2014
I stood at the gate of the cemetery where Namratha was resting in peace, shattering my heart into pieces. I could see her family members, friends and the priest near her tomb. That day was her first death anniversary, but I didn’t want to go near her as many of them could identify me if I showed up. It took almost twenty minutes for them to finish the prayers and all of them came out of the cemetery.
The only people of Namratha’s family whom I could recognize were her mom, dad, sister and her cousin. Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy were also present there on that day. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw the priest in front of me with a smiling face. I didn’t feel to smile, but I planted a pale smile on my face.
‘She is waiting for you.’ – He said.
I didn’t say anything in return and went inside the cemetery. There was nobody near her tomb. I took a red rose, which I brought for her, from my pocket and placed it over her tomb. I wanted to cry aloud, but I didn’t. That suppressed grief flowed through my eyes as tears. I sat down near her tomb and placed my hand over it. I had a lot to talk, I had so many jokes to crack and I had plans to make; with her.
‘I don’t know if I am late. I have no prayers for you, but I have some wishes because you are not dead; at least for me. You are alive, you’re so alive deep inside me. You will never die too. I love you.’ – I said to her and placed my forehead on her tomb. Her tomb was getting wet with my tears.
‘Arjun, I’m sorry. I am so lucky that you were in my life. In fact, you are in my life; even after my death. As you said, I am not dead. I will live deep inside you; forever and ever.’ – I heard her whispering in my ears.
I took my head off the tombstone and looked around. Nobody was around, but I saw the priest coming towards me.
‘Had enough of the conversations?’ – He asked and I looked questioningly at him.
‘All are neither born nor dead. They just visit the world and go back. One day or another, we all will go back.’ – He said, extending his hand to me.
I held his hand and got up from the ground.
‘She remained mine till her last breath. She kept her promise.’ – I kept whispering while following the priest.
Epilogue
PRESENT DAY
I was sitting near Archana, my current best friend on that same black granite bench. The only difference I c
ould see was the sun had set and some drops of tears had aroused in her eyes.
‘What happened?’ – I asked.
‘Nothing.’ – She said wiping her tears.
‘I didn’t mean to make you sad. You wanted me to tell everything.’
‘I’m sorry. I made you sentimental again.’ – She apologised.
‘It’s okay. I’m “senti” to an extent, but I don’t know if I will be “mental” too. That’s why I’m with you, Miss. Psychologist.’ – I said, smiling.
She didn’t say anything but just smiled.
‘You are a psychologist and you promised that you’ll help me. I am thinking a lot about her and they turn me negative. Is there any way that I can use those thoughts for some positive things?’ – I asked.
She kept her silence, but I could sense her inner feelings.
‘I know Archana. She is no more in this world and nothing other than death can help me reach her.’ – I continued.
She placed her hand on her lips and said – ‘Shhh...’
I looked at her questioningly.
‘If she was in this world, I would’ve given my life to make both of you together. But now....’ – Her words broke.
‘But what?’
‘I can’t do anything to bring her back. But, I know one thing for sure.’
‘What?’
‘You are the best boyfriend in this world.’
‘Quoting her. Right?’ – I asked, smiling.
‘I don’t want your love to flow aimlessly, I don’t want your love to get unnoticed in this world. In fact, I want you to get committed to someone again. Only that can keep you away from the negativities around you.’ – She said.
‘What are you trying to say Archana? Be specific.’
‘Your problem is that your love is flowing without a specific recipient at the other end and you always seem to be dipped in the memories of a person who doesn’t actually exist. The only solution to tackle this situation is to get someone who can replace her. You own a good heart and you need someone who can repair your broken heart.’ – She cared to explain.
‘If you break a phone or a camera or a computer, a technician would be able to repair it, but this is a heart. A heart is that thing which can be repaired only by the person who actually broke it.’ – I explained my logical side.
‘Arjun, please understand. This is the only leftover way for you to turn your life into total positivity.’ – She said in a sudden and speedy manner.
‘I don’t think I can do that. So, I’ll wait in the car.’ – I said with a disagreeable smile on my face.
‘Arjun, you should love someone who loves you with the same intensity; trust me. Only that can help you recover at this point of time.’ – She tried to convince me.
“As I always say, promises are meant to be kept. She kept her promise till her last breath and don’t you think I should do the same?” – I asked.
“Arjun, why are you doing this to yourself?” – Her words reflected her mental state.
I knew she had a million questions to ask, but I had only one answer for her. – ‘SORRY, I’M TAKEN.’
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