A Dialogue between LEVIN, EMMETT, JAMES and ERWAN
Act 4
Emmett and James are watching TV. Levin walks into the room.
LEV. Hello.
Erwan walks into the room.
ERW. Yo.
JMS. Mr Erwan. Mr Levin. Smoke?
Erwan takes the joint and draws on it.
EMT. Where have you gentlemen come from?
LEV. The gardens.
EMT. I heard you were there last week.
LEV. Aye. Us and Levin MacHill.
ERW. We discovered the land of Narnia.
A pause.
EMT. Eh?
ERW. Yes. We were traversing the gardens and suddenly we came across a place we’d never been before. Out of nowhere.
JMS. Had tea been taken?
ERW. Yes.
EMT. What was that mysterious place like?
LEV. It’s still there. You can visit it yourself.
EMT. I’d like to hear about it anyway.
ERW. There are bridges over a stream, and sandy paths that lead in and out of it, bushes with trees from the main open area of the gardens.
JMS. Speaking goats?
ERW. No.
JMS. Speaking birds?
ERW. Birds, but no speaking birds, no.
JMS. Speaking –
ERW. No.
LEV. No speech.
EMT. Speech is fabrication.
LEV. That’s not the kind of thing you say, Emmett.
EMT. I’ve not been myself recently. Annoyed – I’ve seen this house, mess day after day. When I try to get people to talk about it everyone buggers off. No-one can stand the stinking mess of the place but it keeps on building up. And now this problem of speech comes up. It’s too much.
LEV. It’s not.
EMT. I speak metaphorically.
LEV. Lying you mean.
ERW. That’s what metaphors are – lies, aren’t they?
EMT. That’s what all speech is – metaphors. Hence my point.
JMS. I don’t know what you’re talking about but doesn’t that mean we’re all liars?
EMT. No. It means we’re all similes.
JMS. What?
EMT. We’re all like something else. But nothing is the real thing. That’s why no-one wanted to clean the house, even though everyone wanted a clean house. It’s because we’re all like people who would like a clean house, but no-one is that person. And so the house clutters up, the crap on the floors covers up the floor so you can’t see it any more. And then I come down the stairs and I say, Let’s clean the place up, because it’s just too much! And no-one does. Until today. That’s why I’m happy. But beneath my happiness lurks a curious rage.
JMS. Why curious?
EMT. For good reason.
LEV. Why rage?
EMT. No. I was just lying!
All laugh.
EMT. Fancy a jam?
ERW. Good.
The Big Pink Page 14