Sarah nodded. “I think so, yes.” Her dark eyes darted to the door. “I need to go talk to mom and see if she's ready for you. I won't be long. Casey, this is beyond exciting.” She pulled away from him, darting to the door, just like she used to do as a kid, her fiery hair bouncing with every step.
“What do you mean, you think so?” His heart tightened in his chest again. Shit. Don't tell me she's hurting. Why the hell isn't there more movie? I want to see her. I want to make sure she's okay. Shit. He flicked the switch on the projector. “Come on, there has to be more.” The projector didn't even turn on.
“Damn it!” He kicked the table in frustration and his foot throbbed from the impact. He bent to rub it and growled. That's what you get. He sat back down in the folding chair and put his head between his knees, trying to breathe slowly and stop the vomit rushing up his throat. I'm going to see my mom. I'm going to see the woman who gave birth to me. The woman who hurt me. Who let others hurt me. I'm only doing this for Cami and Sarah. I won't ever be able to forgive her.
He felt like he was waiting forever. Impatiently he flicked the switch on the projector again. Nothing. He sighed and paced the room. Finally he went to the door and tried the knob. Nothing. Nothing but absolute fucking nothingness. His nerves were stretched to the breaking point and fraying badly. “I need to get out of here,” he muttered under his breath. “I'm starting to feel just like the damn animals at the zoo. Someone just watching me all the time. This shit is driving me crazy.” He paced the room again and sat back in the chair.
Finally, some time later, he heard the door open and he turned in the chair. Sarah peeked in, her dark eyes bright. “Hey, tiger.”
“Don't hey, tiger me. What the hell took you so long? I feel like a trapped rat in here.” He stood and walked toward her.
“It hasn't been long. It only felt that way because you are tense. Remember, time flows differently here.” She stood in the doorway, preventing him from leaving.
“Sarah, move,” he commanded. She stayed firm, bracing herself.
“Not yet. There is something you need to know. While we stayed the same age, Mom did not.” Sarah's face was pained. “Mom is a lot older. She's frail. Happy, but frail. So don't be a prick. Or I will hurt you.” Her upper lip curled in a sneer. “If you think I'm kidding, you are crazy.”
He folded his arms. “What do you mean she didn't stay the same age?”
Sarah sighed. “Not all of us do. Depends on what we are needed for. Mom is finally slowing down on aging, she will probably stay around seventy her entire life. She helps children. They really like the older Grandma types.” She shrugged. “Don't you know any of this?”
He shook his head. “No. I've never known any of this. Hello, this is the same guy that thought I'd only been here six and a half years and I'd just met Camille. You forget.”
Sarah shrugged. “Yeah. I forget you aren't normal.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I mean it Casey Arlington Philips. You better behave.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Don't call me that.”
She raised a copper brow. “Yeah? What are you going to do about it? Not a damn thing, cause I'm still faster than you. I always have been.”
“Sarah, I don't want to play right now. I just want to get this over with.” He leaned against the door jamb.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Fine. We can do it however you'd like. Come on.” She moved and he shot out of the room like a cannonball.
“Where to? I want to finish this mess so I can see Cami again.” He jammed his hands in the pocket of his robe.
Sarah pursed her lips. “Whatever.” She turned with a huff and started down the hall.
“Wait, I thought God said I had to do these three doors?” He yelled after her.
“Bring your ass. I'm doing what we need to do.” She flounced ahead, not checking to see if he'd follow, because she knew he would. Curiosity had gotten the better of him.
He sighed and muttered under his breath, “You always were a pain in the ass.” He moved quickly to catch up with her. “Fine. How far do we have to go?”
Sarah smiled secretively, “Not far.” The hallway opened into a huge town square filled with millions of smells, one that permeated the most was food. His stomach growled. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, I haven't eaten since I came up here.” He licked his lips.
“Not that you need food up here.” She smiled at him cheekily. “But we all know you always needed food anyway.”
“I swear, I think I smell Chinese food.” He licked his lips again.
“Do you?” She replied calmly.
“Yeah, that was always my favorite.” He felt silly, kind of like a blood sniffing hound searching out this scent. Angels milled by, some waving at Sarah, others minding their business. She simply stood there.
“Are we ready to go?” She chirped out cheerily.
“No, I want some Chinese food.” He stepped forward a few steps.
“And you'll get some when you see Mom.” She held out her arm. “Let me introduce you to her.”
He looked at her like she had lost it. “What?”
She sighed. “Just come on.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the square. The scent of Chinese food was overwhelming him. They came to a small house and the scent of ginger and soy had become so strong he could taste it. His mouth watered. Sarah knocked on the door. “We are here!” The door flung open, revealing a small Asian man, in his seventies.
“Sarah! It is good to see you! I have missed you!” The small man hugged her tightly then looked deep into his eyes. “Hello, Casey. I am glad to meet you. I am Jian.” He held a hand out for him to shake. He swallowed nervously and took his hand, shaking it quickly. Jian grinned, he was missing most of his teeth. “Wen cannot wait to see you.”
Panic clawed at his throat. “What are we doing at the Chinese food man's house?” Sarah noticed and grabbed his arm, pulling him in the door before the attack overtook him.
He was pushed into a chair by her and Jian, a cup of green tea shoved in his hand. “Relax, Casey.” Jian murmured. “It is always hard to face our fears.”
He growled, gripping the cup tightly. “I'm not afraid.”
Jian shrugged. “Whatever you say. I see a scared little boy. Drink your tea.” Jian picked up a remote and turned to the small TV sitting on a table across the room. He sat on the ottoman and pressed the ON button. “Ah, good! My stories are on.” Sarah had disappeared.
“Where is Sarah?” Panic was coming back.
“She will be here in a few minutes. She's helping finish dinner. Be quiet, I am a bitch if I miss my stories. This episode Ronnie and Delilah are supposed to marry. Good story. Good story.” He hunched over, resting his elbow on his knee.
He tried to breathe, but a hand was crunching his windpipe. “I think I'm in the Twilight Zone.” He leaned forward, grasping at reality.
Jian patted his shoulder. “No, kid. You are at Jian's house, in heaven. Watching stories and getting ready to eat Chinese food. Don't you know the Twilight Zone is just a made up show? You kids and watching all that TV. You don't even watch good stuff.” He pointed to the TV. “Now this, this is good TV.”
He shook his head. “Then I have to be dreaming.” Jian reached over and pinched his leg hard. “OWW! What the fuck did you do that for?”
Jian shrugged. “You aren't sleeping.”
Sarah came to the doorway leading to the back of the house. “Dinner is ready. Come on you two.” She gave Casey a pointed look. Jian stood and hit pause on the remote.
“Thank God for DVR. I can't miss my stories! But who can resist good food?” He clapped a hand on Casey's shoulder. “Let's go, boy! I'm not myself when I'm hungry!”
He stood slowly and walked woodenly through the entry way. He saw Sarah putting a bowl of rice on the table. Then he saw a small old woman in the corner of the room, her eyes wet. Another piece fell into place. “I've seen you before!” He pointed a
t her.
“Yes, Casey, you have.” She nodded, not offering more.
“You've served me Chinese food before. You work for Jian.” His heart skidded in his chest.
“I don't work for him. He is my life partner now.” She put her hands up in prayer before her heart. “I'm Wen. The woman you've bought Chinese food from a hundred times, at least. I'm also Wendy, your mother.” Her eyes begged him to stay.
Sarah blocked the doorway. “Take a breath, Casey. Take a breath. Don't fall out on me. Your ass is too heavy to pick up.”
Jian pulled out a chair. “Sit down, kid. It is still not the Twilight Zone.” He sat down and put his head between his legs. He felt dizzy. Jian shoved a cup of tea in his hand. “Drink some green tea. It will help.”
He took a slow sip of the lukewarm brew. He focused on his breathing and Sarah's small hand rubbing his back. “Why didn't you say anything any of those times you saw me?” He looked at the small woman still standing in the corner.
She smiled softly. “You would have rebuffed me, turned me away. I wanted to watch you as much as I could. To be proud of the man my son was turning into, and I am. I am very proud of you. There is so much that needs to be said to you Casey. So many things I need to apologize for.”
He held his hand up. “Can I please eat first?”
Wen's eyes lit up and she nodded. “I can feed you. I made your favorites. Orange Chicken and steamed rice. Broccoli and Beef. Green tea with honey.” She clapped her hands together once and hurried to the kitchen.
He looked up at Sarah, his face weary. “When did Mom become Betty fucking Crocker?” He laughed at his pathetic joke, his laughter sounding tinny and weak.
Sarah grinned wide, her dimples popping up. “When she fell in love with Jian.”
Wendy came back from the kitchen with some more food. “So they are both angels with jobs to do, I guess?” He looked at Sarah quickly.
“Yeah. We all kind of come and go. Mom wanted to spend time with you and feeding you was the only way she knew how. She works with kids, especially at orphanages. She's really great at that. The kids all love her. She comforts them, tells them she loves them, which she does. She's the perfect Grandma Angel for so many of them.” She smiled gently.
He felt his wall of anger crack. “She really does that?”
Sarah nodded. “Yep.”
Chapter Eight – Dismay
Wendy came out of the kitchen with one more bowl of food. “I think we are ready to eat.” She was hovering timidly, afraid to sit, afraid to move too quick. She kept wringing her hands and touching her hair. No one moved. Finally Jian stood.
“Look, I'm missing my stories. I'm hungry. Let's eat. The elephant has left the room and we can now move forward, please.” He hobbled over to his seat and sat. He looked at everyone still hovering as he loaded his plate. “You all will miss out. I can eat all of this.”
Casey growled. “Like hell you will.” He stood and sat down across from where his mother stood. “Sit down and eat. Don't just stand there.” He started filling his plate and looked at Sarah, still perched by the door. “Park it.”
She grinned. “Okay. See, Mom, I told you food would work. He hasn't eaten in forever.”
Wendy smiled tightly, sitting down slowly. She took her plate and put a few bites on it. Jian was shoveling food back, grunting the whole time, slurping on tea. Sarah had filled her plate and was doing the same. “For the love of God, has anyone ever told you two that you are annoyingly loud while you eat?” He exclaimed. “It's like being in a damn zoo.”
Wendy grinned. “I tell them this all the time, but they don't care.” She then dropped her eyes to the plate and fiddled with her fork.
Sarah took a breath between bites and talked around her mouth full of food. “Yeah, Camille told me that once too.” She stabbed another piece of broccoli and waved it at Casey. “Eat some vegetables. You're going to die young if you keep eating nothing but meat.”
He looked at her and remarked, “I'm already dead.”
Everyone laughed and Sarah shrugged, “Still, you could eat a vegetable.”
“No, I'll leave that crap to you.” He took a few bites and quietly watched Wendy, who pushed food around on her plate.
Jian belched and slurped some more tea. He stood, kissing Wendy on the cheek. “The food was delicious, Wen, as always. Now, I need some more of my stories!” He rounded the table, ruffling Sarah's hair and nodded at Casey. “None of that Twilight Zone crap, right?”
He shook his head. “I don't think so.” He smiled ruefully.
Sarah jumped up. “It was good, Mom. I'm going to go watch TV with Jian.” She dashed out of the door, the only indication she had been there was the chair that almost tipped over before settling back on all four legs.
Wendy looked at him quietly. “We have been left alone.”
He nodded, taking another bite of food. “It would seem so.” He chewed and struggled to swallow. He took a sip of tea, praying the food would go through the fist he felt on his esophagus.
She smiled. “Your sister is one of a kind, isn't she?”
He nodded. “She is.”
Wendy took a sip of tea. “I know this is all hard for you. I wish Sarah and God had told you everything from the start. They kept telling me you weren't ready and neither was I.”
He shrugged. “I probably wouldn't have been and I'm not too sure I am now. I think the biggest thing is seeing you like this and not seeing you like I used to.” He looked down at his plate.
“Yeah, I'm old now.” She laughed. “But I like it. I like helping children who can't help themselves.” She paused. “I wish that I had done better when you two were kids. No amount of saying I'm sorry can make it right. I hated every time I needed a fix. When you are addicted, after a while all you care about are the drugs, people don't matter anymore. Then I got sick.” She looked away for a minute, composing herself. Her voice came out at barely a whisper. “When I ended up at the gates of Heaven, I knew God wouldn't let me in. I just knew it. I was standing there in rags, bloody, coughing, I hadn't bathed in who knows when. I'd been a horrible person, a horrible parent. But he came to the gates, he sat me on a chair and he washed my face and hands and feet. He hugged me and told me if I wanted to be with him, he would help me, he would give me a job to do. He believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. I said yes.”
He looked at her. He didn't know what he felt. “He did the same for me too.”
She smiled and tucked her white hair behind her ear. “I know. I saw.”
He blinked. “You did?”
She nodded, a small smile crossing her wrinkled face. “I've watched you the whole way, Casey. You and Sarah both.”
He sat back. “I don't know if I can forget all of the things that happened.” His voice was strained.
She nodded. “I don't expect you to, Casey. I just ask that you forgive me. That's all. It has been a very, very long time. I am no longer addicted. I have spent many years trying to be a good person. I can never fix what happened to you, but I can promise, if you give me the chance that from this day forward, I'll be your friend and your support.” She touched her chest with her palm. “I love you, and I have never stopped.” A tear ran down her face. “I'm sorry.” She stared into his eyes, beseeching him to believe her.
Just like that, Casey swore he heard Camille in his head. “Even if you hurt me a little, isn't that what love is, hurting someone but apologizing profusely in the most beautiful of ways? Let her love you, Casey.” He felt the last bricks of the wall he had built around his heart fall.
“I will try,” he whispered, tears filling his eyes.
Wendy smiled through her tears. “It is all I have ever wanted.”
They sat at the table in silence while Jian and Sarah watched their stories, just watching each other and crying at the tentative new strand of emotion between the two of them.
Chapter Nine – Decoy
A while later, Sarah stuck her head in the di
ning room. “Casey, we need to go.” She surveyed the situation with a smile. Wendy stood quickly and started clearing plates.
He stretched his arms over his head and murmured, “We do?”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah, I have somewhere else to take you.” She came into the room and grabbed Wendy around the waist. “I love you, Mom. I'll see you soon, okay? Maybe this time I could get Casey to come with me.”
Wendy nodded, shooting a pleading glance at Casey. “I'd really love that.”
He stood and nodded, it wasn't really an answer either way; it was more of an acknowledgment. “Where do we need to go, Sarah? Thank you for dinner, it was really good.” He almost said Mom, but couldn't bring himself to do it.
Wendy smiled softly and replied, “Casey, you are welcome. I am glad to see you. I'd love a hug, but I won't press the issue today. I think we have some more work to go before we get to that point.” She squeezed Sarah again. “You two need to get going, you don't want to be late.”
Sarah ignored Casey. “You are right, Mom. We don't want to be late, because nothing is worse than that!” She grabbed his hand. “Come on, slick! We have some places to go and people to see.”
He looked at Wendy. “Thanks, for everything.” She nodded, words were impossible at this point, because her throat was too tight with emotion.
Jian wiggled his fingers at them as they headed to the front door. “Y'all come back now, y'hear?” He cackled to himself.
Sarah shook her head. “Jian, you watch too much TV!”
He grinned and retorted, “Yes, but I don't watch the Twilight Zone like Casey!” He laughed harder, slapping his hand on his knee.
He rolled his eyes and followed Sarah out the door. “Is he always like that? He never seemed to talk much at the restaurant.”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah he is.” She stopped and looked at him. “You need clothes on, not those robes, dude.”
“No big deal, I'll slip to my house, grab some and meet you back here.” He shrugged and turned to go.
She grabbed the fabric of his robe and replied, “Not likely, we all know you will hightail it to find Camille.”
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